by Jolie, Mika
Nauseous and lightheaded from it all, she made her way into the waiting area and scanned the room, ready to come face to face with her baby’s daddy. Only there was no sign of Adam. Lily reached through her purse and swiped the phone; no text. A pang of disappointment shot through her. She quickly reminded herself she was the one who ended things between them. Still, she hadn’t expected him to throw in the towel so easily.
“I convinced him to let me come instead.”
Lily recognized the soft, feminine voice right away. Smiling, she turned and fell into the arms of her best friend. After a long moment of silence, she finally pulled away from Minka and focused on her friend. “Wow, you look amazing, and so freaking happy.”
Minka wore a red motif shirtdress with high brown boots and a denim jacket. Her curls, pulled away from her glowing face, giving the world full access to the happiness sparkling in her hazel eyes. One would have never guessed, the woman standing before her spent most of her life struggling with self-esteem and body image issues.
“And you look like you just saw a ghost,” Minka observed, concern now on full display on her pretty face. “Or is it disappointment since it’s me here and not Adam?”
Yes. No. Lily shook her head. “Maybe a little,” she admitted. “But I’m so glad to see you.”
Minka took the overnight bag from her. Which wasn’t necessary, but Lily didn’t argue. “Adam is at Vapor with Forrest. Jason is in Boston and due back late tonight,” she said as they walked toward the door. “I was thinking we’d go back to the house, grab a bite, and you can tell me what’s wrong.”
Lily nodded. “When are Blake and Keely coming back?” Keely was Minka’s fraternal twin who married Jason’s friend Blake last summer. The circle was tight. By default, she automatically felt welcomed by them.
“They’ll be back later in the week and Claire will arrive as well, but you know she has a busy schedule. Her visit will be short.” Claire was Keely’s BFF, and was raised by Jason’s parents. Jason and Claire grew up like siblings in the same house.
She met Claire last year at Jason’s photography show. They had immediately sparked a friendship. But other than that initial meeting, their paths had not crossed. The African-American/Asian singer and designer was always on the road. Their communication had been primarily through emails and text messages. “Yes, she mentioned she’s on location shooting her movie.”
“South America,” Minka chided. “She’s filming a romantic comedy and having a real romance with her co-star, according to the tabloids.”
She tried to listen as Minka chatted about Claire’s possible hot romance, but her mind drifted. South America sounded nice right about now. Sunny. Far away. She could run there and raise her baby, but the thought of Adam chasing her down made her shiver.
“How did she find time to design your dress?” Claire had also designed Keely’s dress. Which made sense, since the ladies were BFFs. And from meeting her last year, it was obvious the woman had a heart of gold.
Minka pointed to her parked black Audi; side by side they walked over to the car. “She finds a way.”
“Please tell me she finished your dress.”
Minka smiled. “All done. She’s bringing it this week for a final fitting.”
Lily grinned with happiness. “Wonderful! I can’t wait.”
As they slid into the sleek car, Minka’s face reflected all the happiness Lily knew her friend had found by falling in love with Jason and coming to terms with who she was.
“I’m excited,” Minka announced with a huge grin.
Lily smiled, feeling her friend’s excitement. In two days, this was the first time she was able to stop dwelling on her impending motherhood and not worry for one full minute. “You’re going to be the most beautiful bride ever.”
Minka slipped her arm in the crook of Lily’s. “I asked Adam to give us a few hours. I literally had to beg.”
The thought of Minka begging Adam for a bit of time to get to the bottom of things warmed her.
“But he’s coming tonight to pick you up.”
“I’m pregnant.” The words left her mouth and made the whole situation real. Well, more real than ever. She watched the shock registered on her friend’s face and let out a nervous laugh. “Yup. Knocked up. A bun in the oven. I’m having a baby.” She choked on the words.
Minka slammed on her brakes and slid the car into a parking spot. Thank God the summer rush on the island had long dwindled; otherwise, they would have taken at least three lives. After a long pause, her friend turned and faced her. Lily smiled weakly.
“You and Adam are having a baby, not just you.”
Lily tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.
“Does he know?”
She shook her head.
“You will have to tell him, Lily. He’ll do the right thing.”
It was the right thing that caused the muscles in her stomach to close in like tightening coils. “I don’t intend on keeping him away. I just don’t want to sleep with him anymore.”
“If you weren’t pregnant, would you still be sleeping with him?”
She didn’t need to think about it. The answer was hell-to-the-fucking-yes. “You know I would. He’s…” She paused, searching her brain for the right word.
“Non-committal,” Minka finished for her.
“Yes.”
“Fun and dangerously sexy.”
Lily couldn’t help but chuckle. Only a year ago, she had spoken similar words to her friend. Now the role was reversed. “There’s an irony here,” she said with a smile.
Minka released her hand and chuckled, understanding the reference to her own situation with Jason only a year ago. She sat back and started the engine and started driving. “Do you want a commitment from Adam?”
“No,” she answered just a bit too quickly. “I don’t.” She tried to sound a little more convincing this time.
“Why?”
“That’s not what our relationship is based on.”
“Jason and I started as fuck buddies.”
Good point. But Lily was more pleased that Minka was now comfortable saying fuck. “You said fuck.”
The blush on her friend’s cheek told her Minka was still adjusting. “Jason likes when I say it,” she admitted in a low tone.
And that made Lily laugh a little louder than she intended. She didn’t care. She was relaxed with Minka and felt like herself again. Like coming home. She leaned back and adjusted her seat belt. Minka pulled out her phone and with quick fingers sent a text to someone. Adam.
“What did you tell him?”
“That I am stealing you for the night. And I’ll bring you to him tomorrow.”
Lily’s heart squeezed. “Thank you.”
Minka dismissed the words with a wave of her hand. “Tonight, we drink seltzer water and talk about babies.”
“I’d rather talk about your wedding day.”
“We can talk about my wedding day and your little bun in the oven,” she said wrinkling her nose. “By the way, weren’t you on the pill?”
“Did you know antibiotics weaken the effect of the pill?”
Minka nodded. Well, damn; apparently everyone had gotten the memo but her.
“What if Adam wants more than just a role in the child’s life?”
Lily’s heart kicked. Only one thing would make her consider permanence and that was the big L-O-V-E word, which was not part of the game she’d been playing with Adam. They had an agreement, and that word wasn’t part of the equation. Nothing serious were the words they both used to describe their relationship.
“What do you mean?” she asked her friend.
“What if he wants a relationship with you?”
“Adam doesn’t do relationships, remember?”
“He’s been with you for a year.”
“Just for sex, Minka.”
Minka glanced briefly at her. “What about you, is it just the sex for you too?”
The whole thing stopped b
eing sex for her a long time ago. She just never chose to dwell on it. Instead, she carried on and pretended she was not emotionally available, didn’t trust men. Lily brushed away non-existent lint from her jeans and turned her attention to the road.
“Do I need to answer that?”
Really she didn’t have to. Her friend knew her well enough. But to admit, say the words would make everything she felt more tangible.
“No.”
With only remnants of the heavy summer traffic, the car slid onto Main Street with ease. Having visited the island on various occasions during the year, she knew after the wine festival, the island would become a ghost town with only the locals staying behind. Even some of the inns would close for the winter or open for a wedding here and there.
She rather enjoyed visiting during the season when there were fewer people around. Adam usually went to Europe for a week or two then stayed on the island. She visited often last winter; a lot of long weekends that should have tired her but instead made her feel alive.
They drove in silence, and for that she was grateful. Lily focused her attention on the road and admired the impressive private homes with sweeping ocean views. Adam’s house in Chillmark was similar in setting. They turned on Beach Road and drove through Oak Bluffs, the town Blake grew up in and probably the trendiest of them all, with a very So-Ho like feel.
A smile settled on her lips as her gaze fixated on Jaws Bridge. The landmark was famous for visitors to jump into the ocean, something she had done several times with Adam. Adrenaline pumped through her veins as she recalled the icy rush of the water, the feel of Adam’s cold flesh slick against her own. She swallowed hard and pushed the memories away. There wasn’t a part of this island that didn’t remind her of him. She needed to get away. Far. Far. Away.
“By the way, Rafa called today.”
Lily simply nodded. She already figured out what her brothers were up to. She only wished they didn’t try to ruin her best friend’s wedding. Her stomach turned at the thought.
“Let me guess, suddenly my three brothers are available to attend your wedding.”
“He figured it out, huh?”
“And he thinks whoever is responsible for my fall from grace lives here.”
Minka let out a soft chuckle. “Very perceptive.”
“I won’t let them ruin your wedding day.”
Again, Minka waved her hand and dismissed Lily’s concern. “Your brothers would never do that. They’re gentlemen.”
The words barely escaped Minka’s lips before the car was filled with laughter. Her brothers were smart, fun, and successful. Some of her friends had even labeled them as sexy. But gentlemen? Nope. Not the Serrano brothers. And if they weren’t the type to kill and ask questions later, Adam would probably fit right in with them.
* * * *
Adam’s eyes rested on the silhouette outlined by the down comforter. Fast asleep in true Lily sleeping state, the comforter pulled just below her chin. He ignored the immediate tightness in his chest and clenched his teeth. He’d been growing increasingly impatient since he’d received that crazy text. His mind had been spinning since he’d received her last text, he’d been frantic to see her. To feel their connection and make it real again. To find out what was wrong and fix it.
Yet here she was, completely relaxed, sleeping like a baby. As if he didn’t exist at all, as if they’d never existed. Closing the door behind him, he invaded her space and walked into the bedroom. Now close enough to examine every detail of her face, he noticed a few lines under her eyes. Her usual honey complexion with the permanent glow she seemed to possess was replaced with an unhealthy hue. Adam’s immediate reaction was to run the pad of his thumb against her cheek. He watched her stir.
“Adam.” His name slipped out of her lips. He waited for her to open her eyes, to face him, and explain what the fuck was going on. But the slow, even breathing from her chest told him she was still in a daze and not even aware of his presence. He raked a hand through his hair and walked over to the window. The fight that raged inside him the last three days left him drained. He lowered his weight on the Lorraine armchair and checked his watch. It was well past ten. It wasn’t like Lily to sleep this late.
Abruptly he came to his feet and charged down the stairs, down the hall and found Jason, now freshly showered from their morning run and dressed in jeans, chopping vegetables.
“What’s wrong with her?”
Without looking up from his task, Jason shrugged his shoulders. “I already told you, I don’t know.”
Adam shook his head. His friend may be in the dark but he was willing to bet Jason’s cute little fiancée was well-versed on whatever the mystery was. “Minka knows. If she knows, you know.”
“Normally that would be a true statement.” Jason placed the knife on the counter and opened the refrigerator to retrieve a box of organic eggs from Herring Creek, the farm owned and operated by Forrest’s parents. “However, my fiancée has not said a word to me, nor have I asked.”
Adam started to walk past his friend. Might as well find the second best source.
“Leave my girl alone,” Jason warned in his usual badass attitude. If anyone could keep up with Adam, it would be Jason. “I told you we would drop Lily over today, but your impatient ass couldn’t wait.”
Adam leaned against the wall and crossed his arms over his chest. “She’s avoiding me for a reason.”
Jason snickered as he chewed on a piece of pepper. “You fucked up. Now you have to beg for forgiveness and brace yourself for the worst.”
Uh. What? But more importantly who was this person talking to him? Surely, an alien had kidnapped his friend and taught him the word beg, because the Jason he knew didn’t have such a verb in his vocabulary. Jason dumped the sliced vegetables in the pan over the eggs.
“You beg to Minka?”
His friend placed the pan in the oven, kicked it close with one leg then focused his attention on Adam. “I don’t have to. I’m a perfect fiancé. But I would if I royally fucked up.”
Adam dragged his fingers through his hair. “Jesus, I didn’t fuck up.”
Jason snickered. His friend didn’t look the least convinced. “You didn’t kiss anyone?”
“For the record, that woman kissed me. And I stopped her.” And that was fucking six weeks ago. Since then, they’d spent days having sex in her apartment.
“Slept with anyone?”
Adam paced around the kitchen to the sliding door overlooking the large porch that Jason built himself. As a matter of fact, he refurbished this whole damn house by himself when he was in a pissed off mood. “The only woman I want to sleep with is upstairs and she doesn’t want to see me.”
“You’re sexually frustrated.”
He flipped his friend the bird. “I’m going back upstairs.”
Another chuckle from Jason. “Seriously, if you beg, I guarantee you she’ll say whatever you want when you make up.”
“Lily already has a dirty mouth in bed.”
Jason turned away and burst into laughter. Swearing under his breath, Adam walked out of the kitchen. Whatever happened to his cynical, moody friend?
Fucking love happened. Shit. That only made Jason more annoying than ever.
As soon as Adam opened the bedroom door, his gaze went to the empty spot on the bed. She was no longer there. Fuck. Surely she couldn’t have left. He would have noticed, unless she snuck out with Minka. Double fuck.
He was about to walk out of the room when the bathroom door opened. Their gazes locked. Lily stopped mid-stride then took a step or two backward, a dazed look on her face.
Why the fuck was she surprised?
Did she really expect him to accept a breakup over the phone? The thought almost made him laugh.
“Adam.”
Yup. That’s me. In the fucking flesh.
“I was going to text you,” she continued.
But he wasn’t listening.
He was done listening. Done giving
her space. It was time to speak the language they both understood. With urgent strides, he stepped into her personal space. “Fuck texting, phone calls, tweets, Facebook messages and all of that other bullshit. I want you with me. In my bed. On me. Under me.” He caught a hold of her arm. “Wherever the fuck you want to be, Lily, it’s going to be with me. Now let’s go home.”
Chapter Eight
“Just because I let you go, doesn’t mean I wanted to.”
Anonymous
Everything about Adam told Lily to surrender. He stood before her with an unshaven jaw, in dark grey loose-fitted sweats and a blue retro crew neck with Italia printed across his chest. His broad shoulders stretched the material of the T-shirt. He was too close, his body almost touching hers from chest to waist. She needed to put space between them, yet her body could not, would not, move away from those hard lean muscles. She craved his touch. Adam was her drug. An expensive, illegal, soul-crushing, life-ruining, highly-addictive drug and she needed to leave him alone.
“I can’t go with you.”
One long finger came to rest under her chin and held her gaze. “You can’t or you won’t?”
Fearing that she might capitulate to the carnal desire burning in his eyes, Lily lowered her lids to shut him out. She had not been dreaming after all. Moments ago, stuck between sleep and consciousness she’d felt his thumb caress her face and called out his name. The touch had sent an electrical jolt through her, forcing her eyes open. She scanned the room for Adam and was greeted by silence.
Yet, everything in her had sensed his presence. For a while she had remained on the bed contemplating how to handle the situation when they came face to face until the usual morning sickness flared again, forcing her to dash to the bathroom. Well, thank goodness she had taken the time to freshen up afterwards. The warm water she splashed on her face even brought some color back to her skin.
“Liliana, can’t or won’t?” he asked again.
She shook her head. “What’s the difference?”
“You’re a teacher. You know the damn difference.”
Crossing her arms over her chest, she walked past him to her suitcase and started pulling out her clothes. Hoping the small distance gave her strength. “I mean, does it matter?” she asked over her shoulder.