by Hart, Rye
Duncan and I had known each other for years, but he’d always mostly hung around the other older boys in the neighborhood and didn’t have much time for Shauna, his baby sister, and me. We were three years younger so to me he was just another smelly boy until I noticed the other girls noticing him.
We were about eleven and Duncan was fourteen when he had his first girlfriend, and it was only after that when I started noticing him in a different way. I’d wanted to be like those older girls, not only because their bodies were more developed, but because he was interested in them. I remember seeing Duncan around his house wearing nothing but sweats, and how he’d come in one day from seeing his girlfriend down the block. He was sweaty, his face flushed, and he had a raging hard on that was pitching out the front of his joggers. I had noticed immediately, and he caught me staring and gave me a wink. I felt the heat stain my cheeks, but later I noticed something else. I noticed that he started treating me differently.
He didn’t push me away like an extension of his little sister. Instead, he tried to strike up a conversation with me as if what I’d seen that day brought us to a whole different level. Not that he would ever touch me or kiss me, no, I was far too young, but it was like there was a special secret between the two of us; an understanding. And I didn’t stop noticing him from that day on.
It was painful watching him with the line of other, older girls. They were like cattle in a revolving stall, and when he started playing sports, it only got worse. He was one of the most popular boys in school and somehow, at the end of my freshman year, things changed.
It was like one day, Duncan had decided that I was old enough and interesting enough to garner his attention. My father had not been happy. When we’d first started dating, he’d had a fit. He didn’t like the idea of me being with someone older, someone who was surely more experienced in the ways of teenage lust. I’d convinced Daddy it was okay and that Duncan was respectable. I also assured him that with Duncan right next door, he could keep a close eye on him.
After that, my father did keep a much closer eye, and he stopped letting spend the night with Shauna. Fortunately for me, my father hadn’t figured out I was really hanging out with Duncan until the summer was already over.
It wasn’t like anything had happened with his sister around anyway. We’d stay up late watching movies with Shauna and would crash on the living room floor like always, except then he’d gravitate my way by morning.
Shauna was supportive from the start but warned me that her brother was a heartbreaker. I should have listened. By the end of my sophomore year, he ended things abruptly, harshly, and over the goddamned phone, and I wished I’d paid attention to her warnings.
My insides burned at the thought, my gut twisting in agony as if it were the very day it had happened. I took a deep breath realizing tears were streaming down my face. I quickly dried them and wondered if I’d wasted my whole life on him.
I’d only ever dated a few men since and that was in hopes that something would blossom and they’d replace Duncan in my heart, but it had been impossible. There was no replacing him.
Maybe it was because my only sexual experience had been with him and I had a hard time being intimate with the other men. Those few times I’d let someone touch me, hadn’t compared to the way I’d felt when Duncan had. He’d given me my first orgasm and managed it with only his fingers and no penetration. I’d been too afraid to go all the way, and he’d admitted that he was worried he’d get me pregnant, and that once he got going, he’d be unable to stop. It had been heaven with him, knowing- well thinking- that he’d loved me the same way I’d loved him.
And then, in a blink, it was over.
The phone on the side of the tub vibrated and gave me a start. I looked at the screen but didn’t recognize the number. I almost didn’t pick it up but decided I better. It could be someone from work. “Hello?”
“Rachel don’t hang up. I want to talk.” The voice was desperate, and though it was much rougher than I remembered, I’d know it anywhere.
“I’m in the tub.” I don’t know why I said that, it wasn’t as if it made a difference and my cheeks flared as if he could actually see me naked.
“I can call back if you’d like, but I’d like to talk things over.” He sounded out of breath, and I wondered if it took him much courage to call or if he was used to this sort of thing. No doubt he’d had many other women and much more experience than me.
“No, it’s fine.” I kept my tone indifferent and settled back in the tub, heating my water a bit from the tap which I left running at a trickle. “Though I’m not sure what there is to say, we’re strangers who shared a past.”
“That’s not true. I’ve missed you, and I want to take you to lunch tomorrow. I know my sister set us both up and I got on her about it. She should have talked to us both first, but I’m not sorry that she did what I’ve been too afraid to do all these years.”
Hearing those words had my heart soaring, but I knew it wouldn’t all be that easy. He had repairing to do, and I wasn’t sure he was really up for the task.
“You’re the one who broke things off in a text message. Our undoing was your fault, not mine.” I reached up and shut off the trickle of water and laid back so fast that the water swelled up over my breasts. Seeing the water splash out over the side of the tub made me realize my tone had been a bit harsh.
“You don’t think I know that? I was only trying to protect your future, and it wasn’t my idea alone. Your father made it perfectly clear that I was to end things before I left. He didn’t give me much choice and even though that the last thing I wanted to do, I did it for you. I didn’t want you to ruin your life waiting around for me. You had talent and a bright future. Your father convinced me that with me out of the picture you had a real chance to do great things in life.”
“My father was there to console me when you gutted me and left him with the pieces. He said he didn’t understand it any more than I did, so I don’t know what you’re trying to pull, but it’s a little low bringing my father into this!” I said, my voice raising angrily.
“If you don’t believe me, call him and ask him. And while we’re on the subject of parents, why didn’t you come to my mother’s funeral? She loved you like a daughter, and you weren’t there for Shauna or me.”
I’d been unable to attend because of work, but I had a feeling he thought it was because of him. Maybe it had been. The thought of seeing him there terrified me and work had been a welcome excuse.
“I was on a job. I hated missing it, but I had no choice. I loved your mother.” My voice broke, but I caught myself. I wasn’t going to let him make me cry again. Never again, dammit.
After a moment, he spoke. “I thought I was doing you a favor, Rachel. That if I left and things didn’t work out I’d only be prolonging your pain. Let’s stop fighting and try to mend things, please. Have lunch with me.”
“Fine. But just lunch.” I hung up before he could say more and saved his phone number in the contacts. Then I decided to give my father a call and ask him about what Duncan said.
His voice was soft as he explained. “I thought it was best for you to get over it and move on. I thought of how your mother had waited for me and wasted all those years. I’m not sorry she did, because we had you, but when she died, it made me wish she’d gotten to do more, you know?”
“So, he wasn’t lying. I’d hoped he was lying,” I mumbled.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart.” I let that be his final words, and then I ended the call and pulled the plug.
My bath water had turned cold.
CHAPTER SEVEN - DUNCAN
I had passed out not long after my call with Rachel and had anticipated my lunch date with her all morning while watching work her magic on the set. She had a real eye for detail, and it was apparent how she’d landed the job. She was very meticulous in the way she wanted things placed, and seeing her work with her team was impressive. She’d turned me on taking charge, and I liked
seeing her taking the upper hand with a few of her bitching helpers. She seemed to be close to the man she called her assistant, Jefferey, and the more I watched him, with him watching me right back and not being a bit shy about it, I wondered if he was in love with her too.
“You two have fun,” he’d said as Rachel and I left the set for our lunch date. He’d given her a warm smile but then given me a look that told me I better behave myself.
“What’s with him? Is there something more going on with you two?” I was taken aback by her laughter and also a bit confused. “What?” I said while opening her car door.
“If I had to guess, I’d say he’s more attracted to you.”
I glanced back toward the door as I shut her inside and sure enough Jefferey was stepping out with his phone in his hand.
I hurried around to get in my car, sliding into the seat beside her as I asked, “He’s gay?” I could usually tell the type, but this man was not as easy to read.
“Breaking the stupid stereotypes, isn’t he? I like that about him. He’s himself and one of my best friends next to your sister, so if you’ve got an issue—”
I held up my hands and shook my head. “I’ve got no issues. He’s protective of you. I give him credit. I just had no idea.”
She had lashed out at me like a whip cracking, and I had to admire her for the way she loved her friends. She’d always been the type to do that, even when we were kids.
As I started the car, her next words surprised me. “I owe you an apology.”
“Me? Why’s that?” She settled into her seat as I headed out into traffic.
“Because of my father. I didn’t believe you. I should have known that he’d had something to do with it. He was just so supportive through all that, and well, he was all I had, so I hated thinking he had something to do with it.”
“I’m glad he was there for you, it’s what dads do. I shouldn’t have thrown him under the bus. I should have just let you think it was all me.” I hated that I had done it and didn’t want her to think I was trying to paint her dad in a bad light. Everything else aside, I knew the old bastard loved her, even if he hated me.
“No, he shouldn’t have lied, and he shouldn’t have interfered. Look at all the time we’ve wasted. I’ve been angry with you for all these years.”
“It has been a long time.” Silence stretched out between us as we made our way across town to a nice little restaurant that Shauna had told me about.
“Did your sister tell you about this place?” she asked as we were driving up. I smiled and gave a little shrug.
“You caught me. It’s just I don’t know many good places on this side of the city.” I pulled my car into the small parking lot and took the first place I found.
“Well, I think you’ll like it if your tastes haven’t changed any.”
I had always been easy to please in the food department and would eat anything that anyone sat before me. She’d been the picky one, and there was a time I was trying to break her of that. Perhaps I’d make it my mission again.
We went inside and found a quiet little table in the back where the overhead light was burnt out, and the only light was coming through a tinted window and from the votive on the table. She blew it out and moved it aside.
“You have a problem with flames?”
“Only old ones apparently.” She let loose a little giggle and then shook her head. “I’m only kidding. I hate the way they flicker. So, what have you been up to the past ten, eleven years, is it?”
“Yeah, something like that.” The waiter came and handed us our menus and took our drink orders and then as soon as he left, I finished my thought. “I went into the Navy, just like I told you.”
“ Shauna gave me a picture of you in uniform. Your mother was so proud. I spent the next two years staring at it.” She wrung her hands on the table and then moved them to her lap.
In the silence that followed I decided to continue. “So, after two years, I began my SEAL training. I was a bit advanced, but I wanted it more than anything in a while at that point. I figured you were starting college and getting on with your life, so I didn’t have much else to look forward to.”
“Why didn’t you go back after your mother passed?” The waiter brought our drinks, and she immediately took a sip of hers, pulling the clear glass to her full, pouty lips. They were so soft when we used to kiss, and I couldn’t help but want to kiss them again.
I shook my head. “I didn’t want anything keeping me from being able to be there for Shauna. She was all alone in the beginning of mother’s illness with me having my last year kicking off. After I had served my sixth and final tour, I knew mom didn’t have much longer, so I went home to help Shauna. I hoped I’d see you, but your father had moved away. I didn’t bother asking Shauna where.”
She gave a little shrug and turned her head.
“It wasn’t that I didn’t want to know where you were, Rachel, it was that I didn’t want to hear that you were married, that you’d found someone, anyone else.” She rested her hand in front of her and stroked a finger along her glass, playing with the condensation. “What have you been up to?”
“I got a full scholarship to art school and then I had to convince my father to let me use it. We had a huge fight, and I left.”
My eyes widened. “You left?”
“Yes, I’m not afraid of my father like some people.” She pulled her lips in tight, and I would have been offended if it hadn’t been for the smile that broke across her face. She never could keep a straight face when she needed to, and I realized at that moment how much I missed her sense of humor. Her smile and laughter hadn’t changed.
“I guess I deserved that. So where did you go? After art school, I mean.”
“I moved out here. I’ve been here a while. My father eventually gave up and decided that he’d try Temecula to be closer. He bought a house and has been dating the same woman for a while. She’s nice.” She didn’t seem fazed either way by that, but then her mother had been gone a long time.
“Well, it sounds like you ended up in a good place.” I thought of all that time between us, and though it had been a long spell, it hadn’t killed that familiarity between us.
“That’s funny. You almost seem like it’s better this way when here I sit wishing we’d both done something different.”
“Any path that leads me back to you, couldn’t have been all that bad, but I do wish the road had been a tad shorter.” I reached across the table and took her hand, and she let me hold it long enough for the waiter to return.
After lunch, I took her back to the lot, and we were really starting to warm up to one another again, which was nice. I had wanted to kiss her, but I figured I better give that a bit of time. I’d waited this long, what was a little longer?
“There you are, Rachel.” The male voice got my attention as I opened the door and Rachel walked in ahead of me. I looked up to see Jefferey giving me the once-over, but it wasn’t his voice I’d heard.
The other man, a younger, handsome man with a boyish, devil-may-care grin walked up and put his arm around Rachel and led her in.
“I just came by to check and see if things are running smoothly and—”
He turned when I cleared my throat and Rachel chimed in. “Brock, this is Duncan, the head of our security for the production, and Duncan, this is Brock, our producer.”
Brock gave me a casual glance up and down and then shook my hand. “Good to meet you, we’ll talk soon. I’ll give you the low down on the smoking hot Star Summers, who you will no doubt, be getting very up close and personal with.” He gave me a wink and a nudge, and then he scooped Rachel against him and walked away, sweeping her along with him.
In that first minute, I knew I hated the guy.
CHAPTER EIGHT - RACHEL
It had already been a long morning by the time I heard a knock at my door. I’d been running the vacuum across every carpet and polishing every piece of wood for the past two hours and after cl
eaning the window blinds my shirt was covered with little fluffs of dust.
There wasn’t any time to do anything with my hair, which was tied up in a messy bun or to run upstairs and change from my tank top and shorts into something more presentable. I went to the door in hopes that it had been anyone else or at least someone I didn’t mind seeing me in my pitiful state. No such luck.
“I’m coming!” I yelled to the door as I approached, tossing the dust rag to the coffee table. I crossed the room and peeked out my tiny window to see Duncan waiting on the other side. Shit.
It wasn’t that I didn’t want to see him, but I hadn’t expected him at all, and I needed a shower still. Cleaning was part of my Saturday morning ritual, which started with exercising until I’d worked up a vicious sweat and then cleaning my house while I cooled down before jumping in the shower to wash all the grit away.
As badly as I wanted to see him, I wished I could send him away or push a pause button to return in a better state, but that wasn’t happening and making him wait any longer was just rude. I opened the door a crack, and when he smiled, my heart melted. I opened the door wider and stepped aside.
“Please come in and excuse my appearance. I’ve been cleaning.” I figured the smell of lemon furniture polish and disinfectant had told that tale, but I wanted to make it clear.
He stopped no more than an arm’s length away and met my eyes. “You look beautiful, as always”
“You’re still a crafty charmer. I appreciate that.” I lowered my chin and tucked a stray hair behind my ear.
“I’m serious. One day you’ll learn how to take a compliment.” He grinned ear to ear, and I recalled how he used to tell me the same thing all those years ago.
“Yeah, and I bet you say your lines on all the girls.” I wasn’t stupid enough to think he hadn’t moved on. He’d been sexually active before we got together the first time and even though he hadn’t pressured me, I knew it had been hard to refrain.