It was with these dark thoughts of self-reproach that he spent the remainder of the journey to the last posting inn where they would change horses before reaching Longbourn. Those few days with Elizabeth had taught him a lesson, hard indeed at first, but most advantageous. He was beginning to learn his own insufficiencies. Worst of all, he was beginning to realize that Elizabeth may not be aware of his regard for her if the shock and surprise on her face at his boldness in the library the day before were any indication. He was beginning to wonder whether he knew how to please a woman worthy of being pleased.
* * *
After their last stop, Elizabeth was startled when Darcy entered the carriage. She had thought he would continue on horseback for the last leg of their journey. She carefully observed his darkened brow and wondered at its cause. She rationalized he was ill tempered upon returning to a part of the country that he had so quickly abandoned for fashionable London not six months before. A familiar disapproval of him returned to her heart, aggravated by how little he esteemed her friends and neighbors. Having determined that Mr. Darcy might also disapprove of her friendship with his sister, Elizabeth decided to speak. Coldly, she stated, “I would speak to you about something, Mr. Darcy.” Georgiana should not have to suffer the consequence of her brother’s disapproval of her friendship with Elizabeth.
Mr. Darcy looked up from his hands; Elizabeth’s frosty demeanor was not lost on him. Considering his own self-censuring thoughts, it seemed oddly deserved. He nodded for her to continue.
Observing Maria still asleep, Elizabeth thrust Georgiana’s note at Mr. Darcy.
Puzzled, he reluctantly accepted the missive and raised his brows for explanation.
“Your sister made a request of me that I thought you ought to be aware of, sir.”
“And will you not tell me the manner of this request, Miss Elizabeth?” Darcy held the letter in his hands, preferring not to read the private letter of his sister.
“If you will not read the letter yourself, then I will tell you. She requested permission to further our acquaintance through correspondence.”
Mr. Darcy was well pleased with the prospect of his sister and Elizabeth furthering their friendship through letters. I wish I had thought of that. His joy was open until he realized her tone was anything but happy. His visage became grim.
Hiding his disappointment, he said, “Am I to assume the prospect is distasteful to you?”
Elizabeth narrowed her eyes in confusion. “On the contrary, sir. I like your sister very much, and I would be happy to further our friendship in this manner. However, I am conscious of the fact that you are her brother and guardian and therefore have the power to choose her acquaintances. I simply made you aware of her request, so that you could inform her of your disapproval in a manner best suited for her temperament. I am sure when you explain your reasons, she will not see my reluctance to accept as hurtful — ”
“Miss Bennet” — Darcy’s voice was grave as he interrupted her — “do you think that I would disapprove of her writing to you?”
“Indeed, I do, sir!” Elizabeth was skeptical of his performance and filled with exasperation as she exclaimed, “You made your opinion quite clear last autumn when you found the inhabitants of Hertfordshire, and indeed those in residence at Longbourn, to be quite below your notice. I should think you would not approve of your sister corresponding with someone from that district.” Elizabeth paused to draw breath, attempting to remain in control of herself. “Do you deny it?”
Darcy remained silent as he considered his response. He knew now his behavior while in her neighborhood left much to be desired. He felt the beginnings of shame as he knew there was some truth to the sentiments she was attributing to him. No wonder she detects nothing of my regard!
“I will not deny that I felt . . . uncomfortable for much of my stay in Hertfordshire last autumn.” He cleared his throat, trying to ignore the raised brow of his companion. “There were reasons for my reticence though.”
“I suppose the behavior of my younger sisters and mother was your reason. Their behavior at the Netherfield ball, I admit, was lacking in propriety.” Elizabeth was loath to admit that their behavior was ill mannered, but she knew it to be true and wished to show she was fair-minded.
“I will not comment on that, not after you have met and been subjected many times to the abominable manners of my aunt in Kent. Indeed, compared to me, you have no reason to be embarrassed by your relations.”
Elizabeth turned to look out the window for a few minutes as she considered his response. His exoneration of her family derailed her righteous indignation. He had not denied the truth regarding her family’s behavior nor his opinion of it but instead graciously redeemed them by his confession regarding his own relations.
With more charity, she acknowledged, “It seems we, neither of us, can acquit our relations.”
Mr. Darcy offered a half smile. “Miss Elizabeth, regarding your writing to my sister, if you will allow me to explain to you something of our past, you will understand better my mood last September as well as my fervent approval of your acquaintance with her.”
Elizabeth was startled by the evident conviction in his voice and discomposed when he leaned towards her as he spoke, his scent enveloping her senses in the process. She nodded, indicating he should continue.
He looked towards the sleeping passenger before dropping his voice yet lower and leaning in further. “Last summer, an old friend of some standing with my family, whose acquaintance with us I had reason to believe was at an end, intruded upon our lives in a most grievous way. A young lady I am very close to was hurt sadly by this acquaintance in a manner I am not capable of speaking about without much pain . . . ” Darcy cleared his throat, glanced hastily towards Miss Lucas and then continued. “This young lady was not yet sixteen at the time.”
Elizabeth paled, recognizing the pain evident in his voice as he spoke. She mouthed silently, “Georgiana?”
Darcy nodded solemnly. “I was not yet recovered completely from those events when I accompanied Bingley to your county last autumn. I am afraid that my reluctance to socialize may have given the wrong impression, and by the time I had realized it, I was not willing to change that assumption as it suited my mood quite well to be left alone. I only see now how it has damaged opportunities for myself that I would rather not have had stunted.”
She was not too naïve to recognize that he was speaking of her and her opinion of him. And yet, she was still reeling from his earlier revelation and too overwhelmed with sympathy for his sister, her new friend, to truly give value to his statement.
“Sir, you said that you would not object to my correspondence with your sister?”
Unbelievably, Mr. Darcy leaned even closer to her. She found herself leaning forward as well to catch his whispered words.
“Miss Elizabeth, I have long thought you would be exactly the type of friend I would want for my sister. Indeed, I wish you might be more.” He looked down as he said this and traced his finger lightly across the back of her hand, “I would be more than happy to have you correspond with my sister if it is your wish to do so.”
Elizabeth gently moved her hands out from under the exquisite pressure of his fingers and simply nodded as she sat back and turned her face towards the window. Certainly, he could not have meant what he said! Surely, he does not know what his words imply, she thought repeatedly. She had much to think on. However, she could not consider his words now, not with her homecoming just minutes away. The news of her new friend’s painful experience last year still pressed upon her as well. She sensed there was much to the story that he had not shared and that the event had affected them exceedingly.
It was fortunate that Elizabeth could not find the words to respond to his speech as Maria chose that moment to stir. Upon noticing their location, Maria declared with evident relief, “How glad I shall be to be home.” Neither of the other two occupants said anything in response as they were both locked in their ow
n thoughts until the carriage rolled to a stop.
Chapter 6
Mr. Darcy assisted Maria from the coach and was conscious of the surprised, questioning glances from her family when he took Elizabeth’s hand. His eyes darted to her face as he felt her hand give his a gentle squeeze before he released it. Did I just imagine that? The idea was highly agreeable to him, but as her face betrayed nothing, he wondered whether it was his imagination after all.
He felt acutely out of place as he witnessed her family gather around the two ladies and embrace through murmured words and tears. He had thought to stay for a short visit, as was only polite, before venturing to the inn in Meryton to stay until the funeral. He had not spoken to Elizabeth about his intentions. He was fully aware that, although being perfectly fitting as he was an acquaintance of Miss Lydia, it might still be considered presumptuous on his part to assume more intimacy with the family. After beholding the raw emotion upon her reunion with her family, he wondered whether he ought to just take his leave quietly and go directly to the inn.
He had nearly decided to depart when Mr. Bennet approached him. The older man was stoic, but Darcy saw the strain in his eyes. He held his posture rigid in anticipation of the greeting.
“Mr. Darcy, please allow me to thank you for delivering my dear Lizzy back to us. We are greatly in your debt, sir.”
Mr. Darcy bowed to the older man, uncomfortable that this was the first conversation he had ever shared with Elizabeth’s father, despite living in the same neighborhood for nearly two months.
“Think nothing of it, sir. I could do no less under the circumstances.” Darcy discretely cleared his throat before he continued, “Please allow me to offer my sincere condolences for your loss, sir.”
“Thank you, Mr. Darcy.”
The two gentlemen stood quietly, watching the ladies cease their embraces and begin to enter the house. Mr. Darcy reached into his coat pocket to retrieve Bingley’s missive and take his leave when the older gentleman surprised him by addressing him once more.
“Mr. Darcy, I recognize this request may cause some confusion on your part, but would you please join me in my study? I have a matter I wish to discuss with you.”
“Of course, sir.” Darcy was exceedingly thankful for the few extra moments to collect himself as he gave instructions to his coachman for acquiring accommodations in the village. It allowed him the opportunity to hide his nervousness regarding the nature of the business Mr. Bennet felt he had with him.
Upon entering the home, Darcy took in his surroundings as he divested his outerwear to a servant. The home was provincial, on a scale smaller then Netherfield, but with a comfortable, hospitable appeal. He could hear the ladies already in one of the parlors. He nodded when Mr. Bennet indicated he should follow him.
Closing the library door behind them, the older gentleman offered Mr. Darcy a drink. He could not politely refuse, so he accepted a finger of brandy, though with no intention of partaking.
Mr. Bennet finished his own glass before refilling it and sighing heavily. “One does not think to bury his own children in his lifetime.” He seemed to be speaking more to himself, so Darcy did not respond. Although a distracted Mr. Bennet failed to offer him a seat, Darcy presumed it would not be offensive to the older gentleman if he simply took one anyway.
Finally, after what seemed like an interminable amount of time, Elizabeth’s father began his address.
“Mr. Darcy, I recognize that my request to speak to you was unexpected. Firstly, please allow me to thank you again for bringing Elizabeth home. I cannot find your being in Kent at the time of her receiving the news of Lydia’s . . . well . . . anyway, I found it fortuitous that you should be there to bring her home. I received an express from Mr. Collins at the request of his wife, informing me of her travel arrangements. I will not trouble you with his abundant words of consolation or the unctuous expression of advice regarding the proper outdoor activities for young ladies…”
Mr. Darcy shook his head. “Pardon me, sir. But do you mean to tell me that Mr. Collins had the gall to suggest that Lydia’s accident was a result of improper outdoor comportment?”
Mr. Bennet snorted and raised his glass to the younger gentleman in confirmation. “I believe it was at the request of his patroness.”
Darcy understood that Mr. Bennet was not attempting to shift the blame nor offend him by including his Aunt Catherine in his censure regarding the ill-mannered advice from the parson. Nevertheless, he felt compelled to apologize for the inconsiderate words of both his aunt and his aunt’s parson.
“Forgive me, Mr. Bennet, for their unkind words at this time; I had not thought my aunt so unfeeling.”
“Think nothing of it, sir. If this were not such a sad business, I would find great amusement in their combined solicitousness. However, I did not ask you to join me here to discuss your aunt or Mr. Collins. I wished to speak to you about Mr. Wickham.”
Darcy stiffened at the name of the man who caused him profound pain his whole adult life and immediately changed his mind regarding the drink he held in his hand. He finished it nearly in one gulp before nodding for Mr. Bennet to continue, his face stern.
“I do not wish to delve into your private business, sir. Indeed, the whole story simply exhausts me. The entire neighborhood is aware of your past dealings with the man and his tale of ‘mistreatment.’”
Darcy huffed. “Mistreatment, indeed!”
“I found his account rather fanciful myself, but that is neither here nor there. As I said, I care little for your past with the gentleman.” At this point Mr. Bennet paused as his guest let out an oath regarding the appellation of ‘gentleman’ and smirked in amusement. “I wished to speak to you because, despite your falling out, I believe you may be the person best acquainted with Mr. Wickham.”
“Unfortunately, I am well acquainted with the character of that man. I do not understand, though, what it is you wish to know if you are not asking for my history with him?”
“I will speak plainly with you then. I am not sure with what details regarding my daughter’s death you are familiar, so I will relate to you all we know.”
Mr. Darcy accepted another glass of brandy before Mr. Bennet continued.
“Mr. Wickham has been blessed with such happy manners as may insure his becoming a favorite of my daughters for some time now. He was out walking with my two youngest daughters and Mr. Denny when Lydia fell. What I find odd is that, upon returning her to Longbourn, Mr. Wickham seemed agitated and nervous, especially before the apothecary could come and administer a calming draught. Despite the turmoil of the moment, you see, I took notice of his behavior. At the time, I confess, I believed him to be acting the concerned suitor. It has been his later actions that have made me wonder whether perhaps his behavior was more suspicious.”
“Suspicious, sir?” Mr. Darcy was beginning to feel unwell.
“He has not returned to our home once since the day of the accident — not when she was ill nor when the news of her death was generally known. Indeed, nobody has seen him in Meryton at all since the day of her fall. From what you know of the man, do you find this behavior odd?”
Darcy pondered this discourse. Damn you, Wickham! He was beginning to worry that his old friend was involved beyond what was known. Hoping to shield Mr. Bennet from further grief, Darcy decided that, until he could discover more of Wickham’s motives and disappearance, he would not share his conjectures.
“I cannot say for certain, sir. I understand what you are hinting at, and although I know Wickham capable of the worst kind of deceit, selfishness and mercenary behaviors, I cannot confirm your suspicions. Please do not allow his disappearance to distress you further. It would not surprise me if he simply left to avoid an uncomfortable situation.”
“Do you know where he might have gone? I should like to ask him some questions. The accident occurred around a bend in the path, therefore Mr. Denny and Kitty did not see it happen as they were a few paces behind.” The frustration
was evident in his voice.
Darcy stood and returned his glass to the sideboard. “Unfortunately, I do not. I will see whether I might learn more. For now, if you will forgive my presumption, you should forget about Wickham and focus more on the needs of your family at this sad time.”
Mr. Bennet nodded solemnly. “I appreciate your understanding regarding the altogether untoward manner of this conference. Although we were formally introduced last autumn, I do not believe we have had the pleasure of any kind of conversation before this. I recognize my familiarity in addressing you is rather unprecedented.”
Darcy gave a wry, half smile as his own thoughts echoed those sentiments.
“For whatever it is worth, I never believed Wickham’s stories of maltreatment at your hands. Other than being a rather boring, disagreeable fellow, I did not think you so dishonorable that you would go against your father’s wishes.”
Darcy ignored the unflattering description of his person as not intentionally insulting and recognized Mr. Bennet’s words acquitting him of his cruelty towards Mr. Wickham. He did begin, however, to understand the manner of falsehood Wickham had blandished about regarding their past, but he was grateful to hear nothing about his sister.
A moment or two passed in which both gentlemen were occupied with their own thoughts before Mr. Bennet recalled himself and suggested they join the ladies.
* * *
Elizabeth had not realized Mr. Darcy was still at Longbourn until he entered the parlor with her father. She mulled over their delay until Jane stood and said, “Mr. Darcy, thank you for returning our sister to us. It was very kind of you to go to so much trouble.” Her voice faltered only briefly, and Mr. Darcy saw the manifold effort it took for her to hide her feelings. Seeing her struggle for composure brought Elizabeth’s words forcibly to his mind once again. “Her emotions, though little displayed, are fervent and tender.” How could I have thought her heart untouched? He recognized they shared a character trait: neither of them performed to strangers by displaying their feelings openly. This new understanding only caused him greater discomfort.
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