At Her Feet

by Rebekah Weatherspoon

  “It is for you.”

  I turn to Pilar. “How long have you been working on it?”

  She winks at me. “That’s between me and the mannequin.”

  “I really love it.”

  “You can wear it in a few weeks.”

  “Are we going somewhere in particular?”

  “We are. There’s a little party I’ll be taking you to. But we’ll talk more about that later.” She looks down at my skirt and my bare feet. “You’re almost ready for dinner. How about we get you all the way there.”

  “Wait, we were playing a game. I was going to hide in your bathroom and we were going to have sex on your sink. And I still think we should.”

  “And you stopped in here to be nosy, so now you’re going to strip off the rest of your clothes and march that cute butt into the kitchen because, my little Suzy girl, dinner is ready.”

  “Can we have sex in the bathroom after dinner?”

  “I’ll think about it.”

  I glare at her.

  She glares back. It only takes a moment, but I lose our staring contest.

  “I’ll get ready for dinner, but…” I say, scowling with a little more intensity. She needs to know just how angry I am. I unzip my skirt and let it fall to the floor. I’m wearing a pair of white panties with a black cartoon kitten on my butt. “I’m going to remember this. This will be the night that you ruined a perfectly good game of ‘Chase Suzy until you find her in your bathroom and then have sex with her on your sink.’ Big mistake, lady. Real big mistake.”

  “I’m sorry you feel that way. I was hoping you’d remember this as the night that your Mami picked up your favorite ice cream and fucked you senseless on the couch.”

  I whip out my most apologetic shrug. “We can still do that.”

  “No. Dinner then bed.” She points toward the kitchen. “March.”

  I start walking, but I still look over my shoulder. She’s following me. “But I love you. Please reconsider.”

  “I can’t believe you just called me ‘lady.’” She swats me on my butt. I yelp and take off running, but she catches me in the kitchen and takes me over her knee in her favorite chair. Oh, does Pilar ever spank me, but I’d be lying if I say I don’t like it. Each strike lacks the weight of a true punishment. She’s reminding me who’s boss, who’s in control. She’s letting me know how much she loves me. When she swings me back upright, I’m breathing heavily and my hair is all over the place. My pussy is throbbing from all of the squirming I did as she held me down. I shove my hair off my face. I’m ready to sass talk some more because I like this new game we’re playing.

  When our gazes meet she stares back at me with equal fervor. I think she’s about to lecture me on back-talking. Instead she takes my chin in her hand and kisses me. Her other fingers slide into my underwear, and the moment I start to open my legs she rubs my clit. I try to shuffle to straddle her lap, but she holds me in place with a firm hold on my hair. By the time I’m whimpering in her arms, ready to offer my forfeit, our dinner is cold. Neither of us cares, though. We kiss some more as the microwave twirls. She swats my butt one more time before we eat. I’m pretty sure I asked for it.

  *

  Though we have an early start to the next day, our breakfast is light. Pilar tells me if her family has their way, I’ll be eating all day. I have no issue with this plan. I’ve texted Liam. He has the address of the park we’re headed to and instructions to swing down whenever they get their day started. We hop in Pilar’s car and hit the grocery store for an ungodly amount of beer and this gross-looking tomato juice. I don’t question either. Instead I help her load the car and we’re on way west to hop on the 405 South.

  I’m nervous. I can’t seem to help it. Pilar lets me wear my own clothes. I know I look cute as all hell, but I keep fidgeting with the hem of my cutoffs. One of my Jordans is tucked up under me on the seat and it won’t stop shaking.

  “You look very cute today, baby.” I look up to see Pilar smiling across the seat at me. Self-consciously I adjust the Lakers T-shirt hanging off my shoulder. My hair is braided up into a bun. It’s too hot to wear it down. Pilar is wearing this flowing purple maxidress. I just want to climb under her skirt the next time we’re alone.

  “You don’t think I should have covered up more?” I ask.

  She reaches over and touches my cheek. “What did I just say?”

  I look down again. It’s been so long since I’ve worn my own stuff on the weekends. Short shorts, high-tops, and crop tops are sort of my thing, one of the ways I’m able to throw off the shackles of corporate oppression. Liam tends to go for more eye makeup. For a moment Valerie crosses my mind and I think maybe she wouldn’t mind the short shorts at all. I shiver even though I don’t mean to. Pilar takes my hand.

  “You okay?” she asks.

  I squeeze her hand back. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just anxious.”

  “There’s no need to be anxious. Just be yourself.” I nod, but my foot won’t stop shaking.

  She looks forward and I gaze out the window. I reflect on the flow of traffic for a few good seconds, and then for some reason Valerie pops back into my head. My stomach turns over again. I close my eyes and try to think of something else. Pilar must sense that I’m really on edge because her hand moves to my bare thigh. I feel like I’m keeping something from her, but I don’t really know how to raise the subject. And even if I do, what would I say? That my boss just happened to say something that turned me on, and I think my boss noticed just how turned on I was? Yeah, that would go over like a loaded bag of shit and bricks.

  I slide my fingers over hers. “When did you come out to your parents?”

  “I didn’t. My mom just knew. She came to me crying after Mass one day and asked me. I didn’t have a hold on my feelings yet, but I told her the truth.”

  “How old were you?”

  “Seventeen.”

  I think of how I told my own mom and how she reacted. She screamed a lot even though she has a ton of gay friends. I was twenty. She came around after my dad and my brother talked to her, but those were some tense weeks at our house. It was a long summer. “How long did it take her to accept it?”

  “Not long. She was just really confused, but she didn’t want to drive me away. I’m her youngest and I think I’m her favorite.”

  I laugh. “Oh my God. Your poor brother and sister.”

  “All parents play favorites no matter what they say. I think my sister resented me for a little while because of it. I got a lot of our mom’s attention.”

  “I get it. I’m a total daddy’s girl and Thomas is a total mama’s boy. Split, nice and even. Do you have a favorite out of these eight hundred and four nieces and nephews?” I’m teasing her.

  “Yes. My niece Erica. I’m not sure if she’s coming today, though. She spends a lot of time with her girlfriend.”

  “She’s gay, too?”

  “Yeah, and if you ask my sister-in-law, she’ll tell you it’s all my fault.”

  “Oh. It’s one of those situations? She thinks your gay rubbed off?”

  “Yes, she does. Just ignore her, though. She has something to say to everyone about everything,” she says.

  “Anyone else I should look out for?”

  “No. Everyone will love you. Just be your adorable, lovable self. If you can manage it.” She teases me back.

  I stick my finger in her face. “Listen, lady—” She bites the tip. “Hey!” She has my hand in hers before I can pull away. She kisses my palm. She’s already forgiven me.

  “I know, baby. You’re loveable all the time.”

  “I know I am!”

  She laughs and kisses my palm again.

  As we continue down the highway, Pilar gives me a clearer picture of what to expect from her family, though by the end of the day it’s clear that nothing she said could have prepared me for the real thing. By the time we’ve arrived at the park and my every thought is focused on trying to remember the names of all of her nieces
and nephews, her brother and sister, her parents and her cousins, I’m nervous again. We find a space and already I see smoke coming off grills set up on the other side of a baseball diamond where a rec game is in full swing.

  Pilar and I meet around the back of the car, and I wait for her to pop the trunk and start loading my arms with beers. Instead she pulls me into her arms. I go willingly, shivering a little as she wraps her hand around the back of my neck.

  “Are you going to be a good girl today?” she whispers against my temple.

  I make this desperate noise and lean against her chest. “Why do you do that?” I look up into her deep-brown eyes and swallow as that smile touches the corner of her lips.

  “Because I can.” She pulls me closer and kisses me. I know she won’t kiss me like this for the rest of the day, not in front of her family. This kiss is a reminder and a promise. No matter what happens before we return to her house, I belong to her and she wants me to remember. Only she can make me this hot, this weak. When she pulls away, I take a deep breath and lick my lips before I open my eyes.

  “I promise. I’ll be a very good girl today.”

  She takes me lightly by the jaw. “And stop calling me ‘lady.’” I try not to giggle. She’s not really angry.

  “I’ll think about it, Mami.” She kisses me one more time before she lets me go. I watch her as she walks around to my side of the car and grabs her knitting bag out of the backseat.

  She holds out her hand for me.

  “Let’s go.”

  “What about the beer?”

  “That’s what nephews are for. Come on.”

  *

  It’s after midnight when we get back to Pilar’s house. I’m exhausted, but pleasantly intoxicated with the way the day went. There is definitely something to be said about good food and good company. I love Pilar’s family, all but her asshole sister-in-law. They all welcomed me with ease, made me feel like I belong with them and with Pilar. I’m her girlfriend to them, of course. Not her little girl, but they recognize that we’re crazy about each other. Her niece, Erica, is a personal favorite of mine. She’s so pumped to have another lesbian couple in attendance. And for her part in our perfect day, Pilar is amazing with Liam and Gary. She lets Liam ask her all sorts of questions about her life as a Domme. Though she barely answers them, she playfully steers the conversation back to their relationship and encourages Gary to get Liam up in some rope and a gag as soon as possible. They both see the appeal in the idea, Gary more for the gag.

  As we walk through the front door, it occurs to me why the day meant so much. I can’t imagine Laurel treating me this way, opening up her life to me like this. I think she had a sister somewhere. The topic of her parents, like the rest of her life, was practically off-limits. I didn’t see how much that had hurt us, how I needed more than her affection. I needed a complete sense of belonging in her life. But little by little, Pilar gives me that. She gives me everything. Even a slow dance by the makeshift DJ booth and a devastatingly deep kiss toward the end of the night. She makes me feel loved.

  Pilar stays just a few steps behind me as she orders me to her bedroom, then into her bathroom. She leans against the sink. I stand near the tub.

  “Strip,” she says, just before I almost drop to my knees. I’m not sure what kind of show she wants, but my best guess is that she just wants me naked. I leave my clothes in a neat pile next to the toilet, on top of my sneakers. She steps closer and reaches around me. The shower comes on, but I’m looking at the smooth skin on her shoulders. It’s just a little darker than it was this morning.

  The water heats up quickly. I don’t move, though. Not until she tells me to. She’s not looking in my eyes when she trails her finger across my belly. I swallow and try not to shake. Her gaze is still on my skin when she speaks.

  “What was your favorite part of the day?”

  “Watching you,” I say.

  “Watching me do what, baby?”

  “Do anything. I liked watching you talk to your sister. I liked seeing you bond with your nieces. I love watching you knit.”

  “Do you?”

  “Yes. Did you have a favorite part of the day?”

  “I did, baby.” Finally she looks me in the eye. “Get in the shower. Wash yourself.”

  The water is perfectly hot. I use her rose-scented scrub, and now I take my time washing my breasts, my ass, and between my legs. I turn so she can see. As I’m rinsing my face I’m startled by Pilar’s fingers on my back. She’s in the shower with me, suddenly naked. I can feel her hot skin against the back of my legs. I turn even though she didn’t tell me to. She admires my breasts.

  “Hands behind your back and leave them there or I’ll spank your butt.”

  “Yes, Mami.” I do as she asks and lock my fingers behind me. She roughly grips my breast. She pinches my nipple and then she slaps it. The sensation is jarring. A sting of pain, met by a sudden cooling and another rush of heat as the water runs over my shoulder. I close my eyes and suck my breath between my teeth. She smacks one breast several times with the same aggressive strokes. My hips rock forward. I moan.

  She switches to the other breast. When she stops I can barely breathe. My chest is stinging, hot, but I want more. She turns off the water and motions for me to step out of the tub. She’s behind me again, a hand on my wrists, holding them together, and a hand on my throat. Her grip is just tight enough to control, never to hurt. As she guides me into her bedroom her tongue traces my earlobe. “I like watching you, too.”

  When I’m settled on Pilar’s bed, I’m cuffed facedown to her headboard. My skin is still wet, though it’s quickly drying between the air and Pilar’s bedspread. She steps away from the bed, and when she comes back I feel her hands, cool on my ass. She spreads the lotion around. I try to hold still as she moisturizes my whole body, but it’s so difficult. I want to come. I want to come right now.

  “No, baby. You’re gonna wait.”

  She turns me just enough to lotion my front. She spends more time torturing my nipples with hard pinches from her lotion-slick fingers. I fidget, rubbing my legs together. She smacks my thigh. She doesn’t have to tell me to hold still.

  Finally, I’m settled on my back, breathing in the lingering scents from our shower. She strokes the damp hair at the base of my neck. I squirm again.

  “You’re gonna stay here awhile. Okay, baby?” My only objection being that I’m horny as hell, I nod. “I’ll be back in a little bit. Just try to relax.”

  There’s no way relaxing will happen. I can feel my heart beating inside my clit, but I say okay and try to focus on being patient. I stare at the ceiling, slightly unnerved by its stark whiteness.

  Pilar gave me a day of freedom and now she needs to reclaim what’s hers, on her terms.

  I wait as long as I can. I have no idea what she’s actually doing, but at the moment I’m just not strong enough to play her head game. Controlling my tone is tough, but I call Pilar’s name. When she doesn’t respond right away, I call her name again. My tone is louder, more frantic. I lift my head once she appears in the door. I don’t notice my tears at first, not until a few streak from the corners of my eyes.

  “Come back,” I plead.

  “I thought I told you to wait.”

  I don’t answer. I know I’m being disobedient, but I don’t know how to rationalize my freak-out. I’ve been tied up and left before. The idea of sleeping cuffed to my bed here at Pilar’s didn’t produce this amount of fear. Now though, I can’t handle it.

  She’s back by the side of the bed, wiping away the tears that run down the side of my face. “You don’t want me to leave you alone, do you, baby?”

  “No. I want you to stay.”

  She climbs on the bed and straddles my stomach. I’d give anything to have my hands free. I want to feel her soft hips. I want to touch her breasts.

  “Do you still want to know about the best part of my day?”

  I nod frantically.

  She leans dow
n and kisses my face, my cheeks, and my chin, and then she licks my lips. I’m shaking, I want her so bad. There’s nothing I can do but wait. She moves down to my throat and sucks my skin. “The best part of my day,” she says, “was dancing with my little girl.”

  My sigh of relief is high and yearning.

  “We’re doing this my way. Okay?”

  I manage to squeak out my okay.

  Pilar releases the cuffs just long enough to secure me on my stomach.

  “Oh, Suzy. You look so pretty this way.”

  “Thank you, Mami.”

  She’s on me again. This time her hands are braced on my hips, her slit spread on my ass cheek. She starts to fuck herself on my skin. Every motion grinds my pussy into the sheets, rubs my clit against my lips.

  “You feel so good,” she says.

  I whimper in reply. Her thigh separates mine. She lifts me off the sheets and her leg replaces her bedding as the friction against my cunt.

  I groan. “Fuck me. Please.”

  “Say it again.”

  “Fuck me. Please!”

  Pilar grips my hips and pounds into me. We’re all juices and skin, clits and wetness. I lose my breath against her pillows and she gives it back to me on the next thrust. I grind back on her, crushing myself against her thighs. My orgasm comes hard. I’m shaking, still shaking when she soaks my skin with her own cum.

  Catching her breath, Pilar lies down in the sheets beside me. Flopping to face her, I look her in the eye.

  “Untie me,” I beg.

  Pilar looks at me for a moment before she kisses my mouth. She frees me from the cuffs, then rubs my wrists and my shoulders. When she lets me go I throw my arms around her waist. I don’t want to let go. She strokes my back. She kisses my forehead. “I love you too, baby,” she whispers against my skin. I finally stop shaking.

  *

  I’m deep in my submission for the rest of the weekend. Pilar lets me stay in her bed Saturday night. She feeds me Sunday morning and keeps me naked on my knees, by her side all day long. When she puts me to bed that night, I’m feeling loved and precious. The last thing I want to do is go back to work. The thought strikes me as I’m getting dressed. I could be Pilar’s little girl 24/7. If only things could work that way.