I’m on my back and she’s climbing on top of me before I realize this is exactly where I would have wanted her to take things next. Our thighs intertwine, and though I’m sore, I’m far from spent. I hold on with one hand on her shoulder as she fucks me into the mattress. I grip her breast with my free hand and suck her nipple into my mouth. Her restraint cracks momentarily as she tosses her head back. I trace the familiar bumps, suck and lick in the ways I know drive her crazy. And she fucks me harder. I wonder if we’ll bruise from this pounding. I wouldn’t mind if we did. I’d enjoy her marks on me.
Pilar rears up with her hands fisted in the sheets, her position pulling her breast from my mouth. I see her focus again. She’s not stopping until I come. I close my eyes and drive harder against her thrusts, and it’s only once or twice before I’m soaking her skin again. She comes on top of me with a fierce grunt and a “Suzy. Oh, Suzy. Fuck.” I accept her weight gladly when she can’t prop herself up anymore. I lick her shoulder, tasting her saltiness. I nibble her skin. There’s no need for her to move because in a few minutes I’m going to ask her if we can do it again. I’m positive of what she’ll say.
I think to myself in those few minutes when we’re breathing, trying to find our sanity again, I don’t know what I would do if she brought another little girl home. I’d probably run the bitch off. I love Pilar too much. There’s no way I can share.
Chapter Eleven
First thing Saturday, I try on my dress. It fits perfectly, though Pilar wants to make one adjustment to the skirt. I don’t want to take it off, but Pilar insists that it might be a little hard for me to, say, shower before the party while wearing it. After she’s done with the quick alterations we run a few errands. I don’t know why, but I’m glued to Pilar’s hip throughout the day. I think it’s the combination of the emotions still swirling through me from last night and my anxiety over the party. I want to go. Pilar tells me Bizzy and Holly will be there, so at least I’ll see a couple familiar faces, but I’m still nervous.
I know this will be different than the parties I went to with Laurel. Those leather parties gave Laurel a chance to showcase just how much I could take. It gave her a chance to tease other Dominants with my beauty and my stamina, but there’s something more. I’m different now than who I was with Laurel. We were both selfish, I think. We came together at a time when I was a little desperate and reckless. I think she’s failed, in her mind, with subs before me, and I was someone she thought she could mold. We lied to each other, never answered the important questions honestly. We never brought up the important questions at all. I wanted love with my mistress. I wanted something whole and complete, a full expression of what I wanted and what I wanted to be to another woman. Laurel wanted a plaything, and I performed that role until I realized it was a part I know longer wanted.
I’m nervous because I have a feeling I’ll have to interact with the other little girls. What if there’s another situation like I faced with Holly’s evil twin? I’m nervous, but I love Pilar. I want to make her proud. I want to anticipate and surpass her expectations like she does for me every day. I’m terrified that I’ll screw something up.
She can tell I’m on edge, but she doesn’t bring it up. Instead, she lets me cling to her as we hit the grocery store. She lets me take my afternoon nap beside her on the couch. When I wake up, she makes me a light dinner because there’s going to be food for the little girls at the party. I shower, and then she lotions me up. She helps me dry my hair and then she braids it. For the first time, she dresses me. I hold still as she secures the small buttons running up my back, and I try not to fidget as she pulls my knee-highs up over my feet. She’s on her knees in front of me, still dressed in her loose T-shirt and her skinny jeans she wore out this morning.
I stare for a moment at the part in her hair. I don’t want to go to the party. I want to stay home, in her arms. “Permission to speak freely?”
“Sure, baby. Tell me what’s on your mind.” She doesn’t look up as she speaks. She reaches for one of the new Mary Janes she’s picked up to complete my outfit. I help her slide my foot inside and sit, my nerves tingling up my spine.
“Come on vacation with me. I want to take you away for bit. Like, let me pay.”
Pilar sits back on her heels. I don’t know how to take the sigh she lets out, but when she looks up at me, her expression is all empathy. She strokes my knee.
“I can’t let you do that,” she says.
My heart seems to choke on its next beat. “You can’t go away with me or you can’t let me pay?”
“Both,” she replies, but quickly adds this before I break down in tears. “However, I would be happy to take you on vacation somewhere.”
Starting this kind of evening with an argument is a terrible idea, but this is girlfriend territory. I’m offering to do something nice for the person I love. I’m suggesting that we do something romantic together on my dime, through my effort, and she’s shutting me down without giving my invitation the slightest thought. I don’t want to fight, but I want an explanation.
“I’m your girlfriend too, right? I mean, that’s how you introduced me to your family.” I’m fucking up. My tone is all wrong, but I’ve been thinking about this for weeks. Pilar takes a deep breath, then sits next to me on the bed.
“Yes, you are my girlfriend, and yes, I would love to go away with you, but it’s not in my nature to let you plan or pay for things. I wouldn’t feel right about it.”
Oh, great, I think. This is about to devolve into a money fight. It’s my turn to take a deep breath.
“Not that it’s something I’ve anticipated, but I’ve saved a ton of money being with you. Plus, I’m on the brink of a huge raise. You pay for everything. I understand that’s part of our arrangement, and as your little girl I do appreciate it, but as your girlfriend, I would like to be able to do things for you from time to time. I have these vacation days and I want to take you somewhere.”
Pilar braces her hands on her knees as she looks over at me. I know she’s made up her mind. “I’m touched by the thought, baby, but the answer is no. When you know when you can use those days, tell me and I’ll happily take you somewhere. You can pick the when, but I’ll plan the trip and I’ll pay.”
“But—”
“I said no. It won’t sit well with me.”
“Am I allowed to do anything for you that doesn’t involve frilly panties?”
“I know you’ve had a very hard week so I’m going to pretend you’re not being so rude to me. You know exactly what I want from you, and until this very moment you’ve been doing just fine with it.”
She means my submission. I understand, but it’s hard for me not to bristle at her words. For the first time I feel like Pilar is actually trying to control me, and I’m not into it.
She slips back to the floor and slides my other shoe onto my foot. I’m cooperative enough not to fight her.
“All done,” she says, forcing a smile. “Stand up so I can see you.” I do as she asks and turn in a slow circle. The dress is awesome and a nice distraction from hurtful words sloshing around in my head. When I’m facing her again, Pilar touches my eyebrows and then my lips with a clinical brush of her thumb. “Come to my bathroom.” I follow her on numb limbs and sit still as she plucks a few stray hairs from my right eyebrow. She slaps a little bit of eye shadow and mascara on me, and a hint of blush. I look nearly doll perfect when I glance at myself in the mirror.
“Do you have that pink lip gloss in your purse?” she asks. I say yes. “Okay. Grab that and I think we’re all set. I’m going to get ready. I want you to double-check your overnight bag, then wait for me in the living room.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
I expect her to correct me, but instead she offers a tight smile, then nods toward the door. Back in my room as I make sure I have the new pajamas she’s bought me and my toothbrush, I foolishly let my anger build. I’m sure she doesn’t want to ruin this night, but I have punishment coming. I c
an feel it. The worst thing is that her punishing me in this situation would be utter and complete bullshit. All I want to do is treat her to a nice vacation. I didn’t ask her to let me be the mistress for the weekend. I didn’t ask her to do anything crazy, but that need of hers for control supersedes anything I could possibly want, even though I know it would be good for our relationship. Shit, she can lead me around Hawaii on a leash and collar, naked as a baby if she wants, but she can at least let me pay for the flights and the hotel.
It takes Pilar a little over an hour to get ready. I’m settled on the couch, watching The Wheel when she walks into the living room. I’m upset with her all over again because she looks so damn good. Her high-waisted, black pencil skirt accentuates everything from her breasts to her hips and thighs. And when she turns around to grab her purse, I see it’s doing wonderful things to her butt, too. The ruffles of the front of her short-sleeved, white blouse add inches to her already ample bosom. She’s curled her hair and wrapped it up in a bun and finished the look off with light eye shadow and dark-red lipstick, and a pair of black stilettos. Oh, I want her so bad it hurts, but I’m still pissed at her.
“You look very pretty,” I say matter of factly, even though I’m drooling pathetically on the inside.
Her response is terse and she doesn’t look at me when she says, “Thank you, baby.”
And apparently she’s pissed at me, too. This is sizing up to be a wonderful night.
*
We don’t speak in the car. I know what I’m supposed to do. Behave. And Pilar, in complete control of herself, needs only guide the way. I’m actually looking forward to seeing Holly. Maybe I’ll get a chance to vent to her. The hotel isn’t too far away. We pull up at the valet stand, shrouded by potted palm trees. I grab my stuff and follow Pilar inside. As we check in, I smile politely at the woman behind the desk.
“Here are your keys, Ms. Castillo. Your party will be assembling in the penthouse, room 1004. Some of the other guests have already arrived.”
Pilar thanks her and I also offer my bashful thanks. I’m laying this little-girl shit on heavy tonight. The other women will think Pilar is the best Mommy in the world. We stop by the room, on the seventh floor, where Pilar drops off her overnight bag. She gives herself one final look in the mirror, checks my makeup, and then we’re back in the elevator. Pilar is silent again, but when she takes my sleeping bag from me and slides her hand up the back of my neck, I know she’s sorry. We just can’t talk about it right now.
With the walk down the hall to the penthouse, I’m nervous again. Beyond that door lie strange Mommies and other little girls I might not get along with. I remind myself that the only person I really need to worry about is Pilar. As she knocks, I do my best to shake off my anxiety.
“You’ll be fine,” Pilar whispers. She gives my neck a gentle squeeze.
“Thank you.”
The door flies open and a short, black woman in a tight, black dress greets us. Behind her, music filters into the hallway.
“Ah! Pilar! I’m so glad you could make it.”
Pilar leans down and kisses her on both cheeks.
“Francis, this is my little girl, Suzy. Suzy, say hello to Mistress Francis.”
I offer my sweetest, most demure hello. I can feel Pilar smiling at me.
“Pilar. She’s darling. Come in.” We enter the suite, and as the woman at the front desk said, a bunch of guests have already arrived. I do a quick scan of the room as Mistress Francis and Pilar do their quick catch-up. Across the room, by a long table lined with drink cups and snacks, is my boss, Valerie.
I’ve known fear before, but what I experience now, because she’s looking right at me, is genuine panic. I gasp and take a stuttering step back. My feet are already in escape mode.
I vaguely hear Pilar excuse herself from Mistress Francis, and immediately she’s in front of me.
“What’s wrong?”
“Don’t look.”
Of course she looks, and she sees who I’m looking at because Valerie is still watching us. She just doesn’t know why.
“What’s the problem?”
I purse my lips and mutter, “That’s my boss.”
“You mean Vee?”
“You know her?” I think I might vomit all over my new dress.
“Yes, I know her. Bizzy introduced us a few years ago. She’s been on the outskirts of our Mommy gang for a while.”
“Jesus, why didn’t you tell me?” I say, even though I know I shouldn’t.
Pilar looks at me like I’ve clearly lost my mind. I sigh and then apologize. I’m scared and a little embarrassed, but Pilar’s not at fault here.
She straightens her posture and gently cups my cheek, encouraging me to focus on her and only her.
“Do you want to go home?”
I scramble to come up with an answer. Rules of the game dictate that Valerie cannot approach me without going through Pilar, and knowing what she knows, it would be downright evil for Pilar to let that happen. I also know how crazy it would look if we suddenly bolted.
“No, I—I want to stay.” I need to stay. For Pilar. “But this happens sometimes, right? Sometimes you just run into people and it’s okay?” I scan Pilar’s face for reassurance.
“It does. And she knows nothing about you or this?”
I shake my head. “No, I mean I guess she knows about this and you, but she had no clue about me. I thought she was very vanilla.” I’ve just lied, but I can’t take it back. “This is the last place I expected to see her.” That part is the truth, but now the whole truth makes sense. The way Valerie touched me that day in her office. She knows how to read little girls like me. My stomach clenches as I picture her expression that day. She knows exactly what little girls like me like.
“Just stick by me. Okay? If she does anything out of line or makes you the slightest bit uncomfortable, you let me know and I’ll have Francis handle it. Okay?”
“Okay.”
“Good girl.” Pilar kisses my forehead, then takes my hand in a tight grip. We’re a team again. The fight’s forgotten.
“Is everything okay?” Mistress Francis asks.
Pilar immediately turns the charm back on. “Just questioning whether we left a curling iron on.”
“Do you need to call someone?” I feel bad, because Mistress Francis is genuinely concerned, but not that bad, because Valerie is still staring.
“Oh, no. I shut it off before we left,” Pilar says smoothly.
“Excellent. Suzy, why don’t you come meet my little girl?” We head toward the couches, away from Valerie, and Mistress Francis introduces us to her little girl, Sunshine. Sunshine is black as well and ridiculously gorgeous. She has a good seven inches on her Mistress, but she defers to her both physically and verbally the same way I defer to Pilar. I admire her black-and-white Lolita dress, complete with capped sleeves and white laces that crisscross down her torso. I admire the leather-and-lace collar around her neck as well before Mistress Francis tells her to show me where to put my stuff.
Sunshine loops her arm through mine and leads me to the open double doors to a large bedroom. “I’m glad you came,” she says. “Miss Francis said some great things about your mistress.”
“Thanks,” I say back. “I’m sure we’ll have fun.” I drop my sleeping bag next to the bed in a pile with the other girls’ things, then follow Sunshine back out to the main living area and back to Pilar’s side. We both wait patiently as our Mistresses talk. More guests arrive and Pilar carefully navigates us around the room, avoiding Valerie and the two little girls she has at her side. Valerie looks good, dressed similar to Pilar in a navy pencil skirt and a white blouse, but she’s wearing way more makeup than she does at the office and her hair is actually done, opposed to the simple down way I’m used to seeing. The girls with her are pretty, nearly identical brunettes in matching school uniforms: yellow and navy plaid skirts and navy sweaters. One of the girls seems bored and the other seems anxious, like she’s waiting
for the night to get interesting.
Finally, Holly shows up, but she’s not with Bizzy. Another woman is with her, dressed plainly in jeans and a Rolling Stones hoodie. Before we can talk to them, the music is turned down a little and Mistress Francis calls the room to order.
“Ladies and gentleman,” she says, flashing a smile at the one butch Daddy in attendance. A few of the girls giggle, but it’s all in good fun.
“I just wanted to thank you all for coming. As you know, tonight is for our little girls.” She glances at her watch. “In thirty minutes, we’ll head upstairs and let them have their fun. In the meantime, I’d like to remind everyone of the rules. Please respect each other’s commitments. When in doubt, differ to the Domme. In the public areas, no penetrative intercourse or skin-to-genital, genital-to-genital contact. If you would like to engage in those activities, please retire to your own rooms. Of course, spanking is allowed anywhere you see fit.”
That gets a few laughs as well.
“I’ve asked the lovely Brooke and Di to act as our babysitters tonight.” Two women, who I realize are flying solo, wave from either side of the room. “If you have any questions or requests, please ask them.”
A woman across the room raises her hand. Mistress Francis nods, but she looks annoyed. “Just to clarify, you did bill this as a ladies-only event.” At first, I think she’s referring—in an insanely rude way—to the butch by the table, but I realize that most sets of eyes are on another Latin woman and her gorgeous Asian little girl. The woman glares back at the rude guest and pulls her little girl tight to her side.
Mistress Francis opens up with a frightening smirk. “By all means, Liz, you and Sage are more than welcome to leave if present company doesn’t meet your high standards.”
The little girl, Sage, tugs on the woman’s arm, eyes pleading. She keeps her mouth shut.
Mistress Francis smiles. “Wonderful. Sage, we’re happy to have you.” Mistress Francis then has us go around the room and introduce ourselves. Well, she has the Mistresses introduce themselves and their little girls.
At Her Feet Page 17