by Mary Ellis
This time she laughed. “I’ll try to remember.” She pulled him to a stop on the path and then waited until he turned his face to hers. “I want to know your God better, Jonas, not Solomon’s,” she whispered.
He touched her chin with two fingers. “He is the same God, Emily. He can rain judgment down on His children, but He also graces us with almost inexhaustible compassion. I refuse to dwell on sadness and plight. He created the heavens and earth, everything you see. We cannot understand His reasons when He calls home a young mother during childbirth or a buggy filled with children. Sometimes He allows one person to be cured of a dreadful disease but not someone else. The only absolute I know is that He loves us, and everything that happens is part of His plan.”
Emily turned her gaze skyward. “Maybe He’ll bring us bopplin and maybe not,” she said, in a voice barely audible. “But I will trust and give thanks for bringing me a husband as wise as you.”
“Pity all the other fraas in the world without a Jonas Gingerich to hug in the moonlight on a perfect summer night.” He kissed her lightly at first and then deeply, with the tender passion she’d known since the day they married.
Emily found her weariness lifting. “Let’s pick up the pace and not dawdle. I want to see if Nora is still awake or abed with her migraine. Lewis brought Violet by today especially to bring that girl out of her depression.”
“If you have folks like Violet and Lewis on your side, you need little else.” Jonas led the way as the path narrowed around the boggy end of the pond.
“She should have had me guiding her too.” Emily shielded her face from low-hanging hawthorn branches.
“It’s not too late. It almost never is.” He held on to her tightly in the shadowy moonlight.
Emily savored the feel of his dry, rough hand in hers. As they rounded the barn and their house loomed into view, an odd sight caught their attention: A person was taking laundry off the clothes line with light from a lantern. “Who is that?” she asked. “Nora and I did the wash yesterday.”
“Considering size, it looks like Lewis. It certainly isn’t Nora. Maybe you don’t get his shirts clean enough.”
Emily swatted his arm, feeling like her old self. “Nobody has ever complained before. Let’s ask him what he’s about.”
“Did you decide it was a nice night to wash clothes?” called Jonas as they approached.
Lewis startled but recovered quickly. “Hello, Jonas, Emily. How was Columbia? Did you have a nice dinner in town?” He concentrated on folding his trousers and shirts.
“Columbia was fine,” said Emily. “Did you forget to throw those in the hamper? I would have washed them tomorrow.”
Grabbing the basket and lantern, Lewis walked down the hill. The swinging light cast dancing shadows on the grass. “I need to pack, and I didn’t want to put dirty clothes into my suitcase.” His voice was flat and unemotional. “It was no trouble, but thanks for the offer.” Lewis tipped his hat as he stepped past them.
“Why are you packing, son?” Jonas touched his shoulder.
Lewis halted. When the light illuminated his face, his misery and sorrow broke Emily’s heart. “I would have explained on my way to work tomorrow, Jonas, and left a note for you, Emily, but I can’t live here anymore. Not with Nora feeling toward me as she does. I intend to ask Josh or Seth if they could put me up for a couple weeks until you hire my replacement. But I’ll stay until you do. There’s no way I would leave you shorthanded after all you’ve done for me.”
Jonas rubbed the back of his neck, stiff from the bus trip. “Both of them live in big houses. I’m sure they’ll have room for you, but where are you going?”
“Back home, of course, to help with the harvest. My father will be glad to have my help in the store too.”
“I’ll sure miss you around the lumberyard. You caught on quicker to the computer than most Plain men, me included.” Jonas and Lewis walked shoulder to shoulder toward the house.
“Stop! Wait just a minute!” demanded Emily, running after them. “What happened today? I thought you, Nora, and Violet were going for a buggy ride and picnic.”
Both men stared at her.
“This may not be my business, but I’m sticking my nose in anyway. I probably should have done so long ago.” She stomped her foot like an ornery mule.
Jonas stifled a grin as Lewis set the lantern and basket down. “Nora refused to come downstairs or see me at all, not even for five minutes. I waited for an hour. She talked plenty to Violet upstairs in that hot bedroom, but she wouldn’t as much as holler out the window to me.” He lowered his gaze to the ground. “I’ve been slow to figure it out, Emily, but Nora’s not in love with me. This whole harebrained trip has been a mistake. Danki for all your kindness, but I can’t live in the same house with a woman trying to avoid me.” Lewis reached down for the lantern and glanced at Jonas. “If it’s okay with you, I’ll put my suitcase in your buggy and take my pillow and blanket to the hayloft to sleep. Then Nora won’t have to sneak around like a cat burglar if she wants something to eat or drink.” He marched toward the house without another word.
Emily and Jonas shared a helpless look. “There’s nothing we can do but give the man some space,” he said. “Come sit on the porch swing with me. I’ll even rub your feet.”
She nodded, knowing that despite the late hour, neither of them would be able to sleep a wink.
Nora listened at the top of the stairwell before creeping down, once she was sure no one stirred in the kitchen. With her headache gone, she was famished. From her bedroom window, she’d spotted Lewis heading to the barn with his pillow and blanket. He probably preferred waking up congested from dust and pollen rather than face her. Who could blame him? He’d come to Missouri to court her. Little did he know she wasn’t worthy of his affection.
Peering around the corner, Nora made a beeline for the refrigerator. She filled her apron with Violet’s sandwich, cold pizza wrapped in foil, and the bag of strawberries, and then she grabbed the pitcher of milk. Midway to the table, she halted like a naughty child caught in mischief. Jonas and Emily stood in the mudroom doorway with quizzical expressions.
“Food is included with room and board,” said Emily. “Don’t look so guilty. Although I don’t remember buying strawberries, and my berry patch was picked clean long ago.”
Nora set the food on the table and fetched a plate and glass, hoping the Gingerichs were just passing through. “Violet left this for me while you were gone. But you two must be exhausted after Columbia. Please don’t think you must remain up to keep me company while I eat.” She filled her glass with milk, avoiding their eyes.
“We’d like a word if you don’t mind.” Jonas pulled out a chair for his wife and then sat down, not waiting for Nora’s response.
“And I’d like some milk before bed.” Emily went to the cupboard for another glass.
Without much choice, Nora decided the running, hiding, and ducking her head had to stop. “Are either of you hungry? There’s enough to share.” Peering from one to the other, she shook out a napkin for her lap.
“We’re not hungry, but we are worried about you,” said Emily. “Lewis packed up his belongings and will spend his final night as our guest in the hayloft. Were you unable to patch things up?”
“Lewis came to Paradise seeking someone I am not.” She washed a bite of rubbery pizza down her dry throat with a swallow of milk.
“Aren’t you ready to marry yet? Do you need more running-around time?” asked Jonas.
“Not at all. I would love to settle down with a man who loves me.” She kept her eyes focused on her food.
Emily fanned herself with her apron. “Gut to hear, because sometimes what we’re looking for is right under our noses.” She bobbed her head in the direction of the barn.
“And I love him, if it were only that simple. He wants the truth about Elam, but Elam isn’t the problem. I…I was led astray by a boy in Pennsylvania, long before I went to Maine. Maybe that’s why Elam
appealed to me…a man without high standards might accept a disgraceful woman.”
Poor Jonas. He turned a matching shade to the strawberries, receiving far more information than he bargained for.
“Forgive my frankness, but you both deserve honesty after all your hospitality. I’m not a suitable woman for Lewis, despite where my emotions lie.” Nora finished the pizza in two more bites.
“If this happened back in Lancaster, you must have been very young, Nora. Sometimes people make mistakes during their youth.” Jonas fingered his beard nervously.
“Everyone has, at some point,” added Emily. She so wanted to rectify a hopeless situation.
“You’re very kind, but you both know this isn’t the same as cutting your hair or wearing cosmetics during rumschpringe. Besides housekeeping skills, all an Amish girl brings to a marriage is her virtue. It is a gift to her husband.”
Emily clucked her tongue. “We also know that isn’t always the case. And if we deserve your honesty, so does Lewis. What’s keeping you from telling him this? Are you chicken?”
Nora looked her friend and employer in the eye. “Without a doubt I’m scared. To witness his scorn would be more than I can bear. Please don’t try to force me.” Her voice dropped to a whisper.
“We won’t,” said Jonas. “But I advise you to swallow your pride and talk to him. Because in part, isn’t that what this is—pride? You don’t want him to see your human frailty.”
Nora lined up the strawberries in relationship to their size. “I suppose, but how does one…rise above their weaknesses?”
Jonas leaned across the table. “Recently I studied the story in the book of Luke when Jesus calmed the storm and saved the apostles from certain death. God is all-powerful. Nothing is beyond His control. Once we surrender, we have nothing to fear—not our past mistakes or storms at sea or bugs or birds or changes in weather patterns.” Jonas’s focus drifted from Nora to Emily and back again. “But by avoiding Lewis, you’re denying his chance to rise to a higher level and forgive you unconditionally.”
For a minute, no one spoke. Only the ticking of the clock and chirping of crickets broke the silence. Nora stared at the tabletop, fighting back the tears that burned her throat and eyes.
“If you change your mind, he will still work at the lumberyard for another week or so. You can find him there except on Wednesdays and Sundays.”
Nora’s head snapped up. “He’s already moved out?” She dabbed at her runny nose.
“Jah, tonight he’ll sleep in the barn. Then he aims to bunk with Seth or Josh until he arranges transportation. He won’t be returning to the farm, Nora.”
“Transportation?” she asked, although she already knew the answer.
“He’s going home to Harmony. He came to Missouri not to compare our farms to the countryside back in Maine. He came here for you. Apparently, the trip was an unnecessary expense and waste of time in his life.”
She choked back her emotions. What did she expect? Lewis to keep pining after her well into old age? “Of course. I’m not thinking straight.” She wrapped her remaining supper to take to her room in case she awoke hungry in the middle of the night.
“Say your prayers and go to bed.” Emily patted her hand. “After a good night’s sleep, the world may look different tomorrow. You may still find your way back to him.”
“It’s too late, but danki for your advice.” Nora rose with dignity and pushed in her chair.
Suddenly, Emily’s hand shot out and clamped around the younger woman’s wrist. With her other hand, she pressed two fingers to the bone just above the vein. “You have a pulse and you’re still breathing, so it’s definitely not too late.”
Nora smiled at the Gingerichs. “Gut nacht.” She walked from the kitchen on legs barely able to support her weight. “Oh, I almost forgot.” She glanced over her shoulder. “May I use your buggy tomorrow? I’d like to take Violet on a picnic because I disappointed her today. I’ll pack the sandwiches and fruit this time.”
Emily exchanged a look with Jonas. “Sure, no problem. Violet should get out as much as possible. I work you both too hard.”
That night while washing her face and hands before bed, Nora analyzed her reflection in the mirror. The young girl who had kissed Elam Detweiler in the henhouse and then helped him run away was gone. Grieving over her dead parents and jealous of a sister whose life seemed easier, she had behaved recklessly, as though she had nothing to lose. The older, wiser woman staring back realized too late that she’d had everything to lose.
Nora awoke the next morning with a start. Dreams had once again plagued her sleep. However, these weren’t pleasant memories of her Lancaster childhood, but disquieting, dark images of phantoms chasing her through a cornfield. And she didn’t even believe in ghosts. Kicking off the damp, tangled sheet, she jumped out of bed and crossed the room. She opened the window all the way against the June heat, yet no breeze stirred the muslin curtains. Although only an hour past dawn, yet every sign indicated another hot Missouri day.
As she showered and dressed, thoughts of yesterday returned to haunt her worse than any fairy-tale specter. Lewis Miller—the only man who truly loved her—was gone. She’d heard Jonas’s buggy roll down the driveway before daybreak. Nora had buried her head beneath the pillow until she nearly suffocated. At least she wouldn’t have to play a game of hide-and-seek with him. He’d taken care of that by moving out.
Downstairs the kitchen was empty. Emily must be sleeping in—almost unheard of for that ball of energy. While Nora fixed ham-and-cheese sandwiches, chips, and sliced cantaloupe for the picnic, she considered Violet. What a metamorphosis that girl had gone through. Funny what the love of a good man can do.
“Don’t forget to take some Pepsis in the soft-sided cooler.” Emily stood in the doorway, wearing a long white nightgown. With bare feet, no kapp, and her waist-length braid trailing down her back, she looked younger than her thirty-three years.
“Good idea. I hope I didn’t wake you.” Nora loaded a blue freezer pack into the cooler and retrieved an old quilt from the top shelf in the mudroom.
“It’s almost ten. Besides, who can sleep in this heat?” Emily pulled a bottle of water from the fridge. “The sky was the strangest color this morning when Jonas was leaving—streaked with pink and orange. More like sunset than sunrise.”
“It’s a perfect shade of blue now,” said Nora, opening the window curtains. “I’ll take a towel in case we decide to get our feet wet.” She pulled a green beach towel from a drawer and added it to the stack. “Are you sure you don’t need me today for baking?”
“Nein. Jonas already hitched up the mare. The buggy is waiting for you in the shade, so go have some fun.” Emily shooed her out the door.
“See you at supper.” Buoyed by the idea of some time with her friend, Nora ran down the walkway.
Violet never made a person wait if there was fun involved. She hobbled down the stairs before Nora could turn the buggy around. Her brother kept within arm’s reach in case she stumbled.
“Hand your reins to Irvin,” she called. “We’ll take my buggy since my bruder already loaded up my wheelchair in it. Don’t worry. He’ll take good care of Emily’s mare.”
Violet climbed into the open two-seater unassisted, while Irvin shoved her crutches under the seat. Within five minutes Nora had transferred the cooler, towel, and quilt. When she was settled by her friend, Violet handed her Nell’s reins and they were on their way.
“Where would you like to go for our picnic?” Nora asked. “Kansas, Iowa, or Colorado? Your wish is my command.”
Violet’s freckles danced across her nose. “We’ll stay a bit closer to home. Head toward Josh’s house. You know the way from the hayride. There’s a dirt lane that connects Josh’s farm to Seth’s through the back. Seth showed me a river in the woods with easy access for my chair most of the way. We can sit on a log and dangle our feet in the rushing water.”
“A river like the Mississippi?”
/> Violet’s hoots sent birds soaring higher. “More like a babbling brook, but at least it’s water in the shade. On a day as hot as this, both will feel like heaven.”
“Tell me, Miss Trask. Any news on your three favorite topics: Seth, Seth, or Seth? We have five or six miles to kill.”
“Funny you should ask, Miss King, but I do have an update. Did I mention he’s taking me to Saturday’s singing? And next week he’ll accompany me to my therapy appointment in Columbia. We’ll have lunch at Red Lobster because I’ve never tasted lobster before.”
“Just the two of you in Columbia?” Nora arched an eyebrow.
“Get serious. Have you forgotten who my father is? Daed insists my mother accompany us, but I don’t mind. She tends not to say much when Seth and I start talking.”
“What choice does she have? Who could squeeze a word in edgewise?”
“I’ll ignore that. Did I mention Seth comes over to sit on our porch? He hasn’t missed a Sunday in weeks. My sister knits in the rocker if my parents are gone, but Kathryn also knows how to be low-key. Oh, and did you know Seth thinks my molasses crinkle cookies are the best tasting in Paradise?”
“That sounds rather prideful, Miss Trask.” Nora shook her finger in rebuke. “But I will tell Emily. Either she’ll give you a raise or fire you for stealing the limelight from her.”
“What’s limelight?” Violet stretched out her legs.
“All the attention, but do go on with your update. I want to hear everything Seth had to say last Sunday.”
So Violet filled in every blank, adding appropriate flourishes and gestures. By the time they reached the farm lane by Josh’s, their faces hurt from laughing. “Let’s leave the buggy here and tie up the horse in the shade. It’s not far. You can push me the rest of the way.”
Nora dragged Violet’s wheelchair from the back. “That man is smitten with you. I believe you have met your match.”
“And you’ve met yours, even if you’re too stubborn to deal with it.”