by Lily Harlem
He was quiet for a moment, then asked, “You not on protection?”
“Where the hell would I have gotten that the last few months?”
He frowned.
“And besides,” she went on, “I wasn’t exactly having sex before I left home. What with all the boys in the neighborhood being too damn scared to date me.”
He shook his head. “If there’s a baby, the families will have to accept it.”
“They wouldn’t, but…”
“But what?”
“I don’t even know what’s left of my family, do I? That night, when Eastman and his gang came, we got out quick and went our separate ways. My cousins were raided, too. I have no idea who I have left.”
“Your father really was a fool to open his mouth to Kempton about Eastman’s VP.”
“I know. Of course I know. He knows that, too, but he had his reasons.”
“Which were?”
“I don’t know.” She sighed. “Really, I don’t.”
“Hey, let’s get some facts straight.”
She nodded and ran her finger to his jawline, then traced the shape of his chin, which had a tiny dent in the center.
“Your father’s been taught a lesson. It’s a damn shame the rest of his family suffered, too, but that’s the game we play, and…”
“And?”
“And there is an us.”
“Roper.”
“No argument. I ain’t one for having a string of women. I see one I like and that’s it till they fuck up.” He paused. “And you I like. So far you’ve only fucked up once by running off, but I’m willing to let that one slide ’cause you’ve done everything else I asked.”
“Jeez, what goddamn romance school did you go to? They need closing down.”
He chuckled. “I told you romance ain’t my strong point, but keeping my woman satisfied is.” He ground his pelvis against her clit. “That’s something I can do.”
“Mmm…that’s true so far.”
He kissed her and ran his hand over her hair.
“We really can’t be together,” she said, her lips moving against his. “You know we can’t.”
“We can…and we are.”
“But…”
“Would you stop saying but.” He frowned. “Or I’ll have to swat that pretty ass of yours.”
She opened her mouth and shut it again. There was still one thing swirling around her mind.
“Oh, spit it out,” he said.
“But you’re so old.” There she’d said it. “Even Franz said it. You’re too old for me.”
He raised his eyebrows. “No, I’m not.”
“Yeah, you are. I mean, what are you, forty?”
“Forty! Fucking bitch.” His jaw slackened, and he shook his head. “Shit, you’re serious.”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“I’m thirty-fucking-one.”
“Oh, okay. Sorry.”
“You saying I’m ageing before my time? Getting wrinkles?”
“No.” She suppressed a giggle. Roper was not the sort of man who worried about wrinkles. “Not at all. Reckon I’m not very good at guessing ages.”
“Too damn right you’re not, and Franz is a sick bastard with warped thoughts. Don’t think about him for another moment.” He shook his head. “I’m not old enough to be your old man or anything.”
Thank God. “That’s one thing we’ve got going for us then.” She touched his bottom lip, adoring the way it was slightly plumper than the top one.
“Baby.” His face softened, and he eased his cock deep again. He was hard once more. “We got lots of things going for us, and right now, forget everything ’cause I’m gonna show you my favorite one…again.”
They stayed in the hotel for several hours. Beth indulged in a long hot shower, then enjoyed watching the TV as her hair dried and Roper dozed with his arms behind his head. She drank so much coffee that her heart began to skip beats, then persuaded him to let her check the wound on his arm, which was healing well.
As they climbed aboard the Vulcan again, Beth was relieved that the snow had stopped falling. It was the last thing they needed on this final push to Toronto.
Toronto and her mother.
Would she really be there?
Beth hardly dared hope.
It could be all or nothing. The start of something or the bitter end. Only miles and time would tell.
Roper set off at a decent speed, and Beth clung to him. The man who’d not only fucked her, but also made love to her seemed determined to get to their destination.
Made love to her.
Love.
Love was a strange beast to face. It had many heads, many guises, but was instantly recognizable.
She shut her eyes, relishing the speed they were moving at and the wind slipping around her body. She felt numb. She felt alive. Her emotions were spinning, but she didn’t mind. Somehow it would all be okay. She had this weird optimistic sensation that had been missing in her life for so long.
The outskirts of Toronto crept up on them. Just before they reached the suburb where her aunt lived, Roper pulled over at a gas station.
He refueled the tank as Beth went into the service area to use the bathroom.
When she came out, he was on his cell, pacing past a counter of magazines. He was holding it about a foot from his ear and a deep voice was shouting through it.
“What’s happened?” she asked, halting in front of him.
He put moved the cell farther away and grimaced. “Conner.”
Her optimism came crashing down. “You told him about us, didn’t you?”
“Yep. It’s not going so well.” He pressed his palm to her cheek. “But it’ll be okay, once he’s got this out of his system.”
“Roper, for fuck’s sake, don’t you have anything to say for yourself?”
Roper put the cell back to his ear. “Not when you’re fucking screeching like a woman at me,” he all but growled.
Silence.
Beth nibbled on her bottom lip. She’d known their families wouldn’t appreciate them hooking up and wondered why Roper had decided to divulge the information to Conner now.
“It is what it is,” Roper said, turning away from her and facing the front of the convenience store. “Nothing we can do about it now.” He paused. “Yes, of course I know that. Jesus, I’m not a fucking idiot. And for the record, you’ve had your say, so shut the hell up and get used to it.”
Beth wrapped her arms around her waist. What if Conner persuaded Roper to ditch her? It would be easy enough for her to figure out a way to get to her aunt’s from here, but she’d become used to Roper in her life now.
He pushed out through the door, still on his cell. Beth made no move to follow. She’d wait in the warmth for as long as she could. She glanced at the guy at the till who was eyeing her warily.
“Family stuff,” she said, flicking her hand in Roper’s direction.
“Whatever,” he said, turning his attention to Roper.
Roper was stalking back and forth on a snowy patch of tarmac, leaving big boot prints as he went. He was still deep in conversation, and his breath hung in the air around his face.
Eventually, he shoved his phone into his pocket. He looked into the shop and motioned for her to join him.
She braced for the cold, then headed to the Vulcan. “Did he calm down?”
“Yeah, he’s my little brother, so he does what I tell him at the end of the day.”
“He sounded pretty mad about me.”
“Mad, shocked, suspicious.” He shrugged and shoved the key in the ignition. “But I told him, if he wanted me in Chicago, sorting shit out, then he’d have to accept that you might be there with me.”
“You said that?” And did he really think she’d be going to Chicago with him?
“Yeah, ’course.”
“But—”
“The way I see it, the Rammadas are down on their luck. We, as a family, either take advantage of that and take what we can, or…”
“Or?”
“Or we help out and make a bond for the future.”
“You mean heal the rift between the two families. That’s wishful thinking?”
“I guess I’m an optimist.”
“No, you’re not. You’re out of your mind. It’ll never happen.”
“Don’t be so sure.” He sat heavily on the bike. “Now get on. It’ll be dark soon.”
She did as he’d asked, and he pulled onto the highway.
A short while later he rolled to halt outside a one-story brick house in the suburb Beth’s Aunt Jolie had spent her whole life in. A car sat in the drive piled high with snow and a thin stream of smoke rose from a skinny chimney.
Beth studied the window with its heavy and noticed the security camera on the porch. The path had been cleared at some point as the snow was stacked up on the lawn, but a fresh layer had arrived since then. There were no footsteps in it.
“You reckon your mother will be in there?” Roper said.
“It’s either there, behind bars or in hospital. Can’t think of anywhere else she’d be.”
He nodded. “Go at it then. Good luck.”
“You not coming in with me?” She climbed off the bike.
“I won’t be far behind.” As he’d spoke, his cell rang. “Go, while I take this.”
Beth swallowed a sudden bolt of nerves as Roper barked into his phone. Then, keeping her focus on the red front door, she made her way up the path.
She hesitated for a moment before rapping her knuckles against it.
Nothing.
She knocked again. Glanced at the security camera.
Suddenly, the door swung open. Standing in front of her was her Aunt Jolie, a decade older than when she’d last met her, but still very recognizable.
“Jesus, Mary and Joseph, is that you, Bethany?”
Beth nodded. “Yes.”
“Come in, child. It’s freezing out there.” She stepped aside.
“India, you got one hell of a damn visitor.” She touched Beth’s shoulder. “Go through, go through…she’s in the kitchen.”
“Is she okay?”
“As well as can be expected, considering.”
“Do you know how my father is?”
“All in good time…go through.” She pressed against the center of Beth’s back, urging her into a long, narrow kitchen. At the far end, a window overlooked a fenced white backyard. And within the bay of the window was a small table with two chairs. On it was a bottle of liquor and two glasses along with a pile of magazines and an ashtray.
Sitting at the table was her mother. Her hair wasn’t its usual coifed state and the dark roots were showing, contrasting sharply with her bleached blonde hair. She wore no makeup, other than a slick of red lipstick, which again was unlike her mother, who was always impeccably made up.
She turned and her eyes widened. “Beth.”
“Hey, Mom.”
“Oh my God.” She crossed her chest with her finger and raised her eyes heavenward. “Thank the Good Lord above.”
She stood and rushed to Beth, pulling her into a frantic embrace.
Beth hugged her back, the sensation of her mother’s arms around her was like coming home. She held back a sob and squeezed her eyes shut.
“Oh, my baby, my poor baby. What have you been through? We’ve been so worried.”
“We?”
“Jolie and me.”
“How is Dad? Do you know?”
“In a minute,” her mother said, holding Beth at arms’ length and surveying her from head to toe. “You first. Are you okay? How did you get here? What happened after you ran away like that.”
“I didn’t run away. You told me to go.”
“Mmm, well, it was for the best. Besides, you had plenty of money to be getting on with. I gave you everything from my safe.”
“It was stolen, within days of me getting to New York.”
She gasped. “What? All of it?”
“Yes. And I didn’t know what to do. Who to go to? Or what was left of the Rammadas in Chicago.” Beth glanced at her aunt, who was filling up another glass from the bottle on the table. Beth guessed whatever happened to the family wasn’t good if she was going to need alcohol when told.
“The family has splintered,” her mother said, “but no one was killed. We’re biding our time.”
To hear no one, her father or her cousins, was dead was a huge relief.
“So what’ve you been doing?” her mother asked. “For all these months.”
“Living in New York. On the streets. Begging for handouts.”
“Begging?” Her mother looked shocked. “You, Bethany Rammada, the Bethany Rammada, begging and sleeping on the streets?”
“What else was I supposed to do? I had nothing and no one and nowhere to go.”
“Yes, but still.” She frowned and glanced down Beth’s body again. “Well, you’re looking good, girl. Slim…I bet you’d even get into your old prom dress.”
Beth’s mouth fell open as her mother gave an approving nod.
“Mother, I almost starved to death and nearly died of hypothermia. It was not a goddamn spa to lose a few pounds.”
Jolie appeared in front of her, glass of amber liquid offered forward.
Beth took it and knocked it back in one go, the sting of the brandy a sharp slap to her tongue. “Thanks.” She passed the glass back.
“I never said it was a spa.” Her mother frowned. “But surely you could’ve done something. There was no need for you to sleep in doorways. You could’ve found someone to help you and…”
Her words tailed off, and Beth was aware of a shadow from the doorway behind her spilling onto the linoleum floor. She turned and saw Roper filling the frame, his wide shoulders almost touching the wood.
“What the fuck?” Her mother clenched her fists and her eyes widened. “Roper Hermanus, what are you doing here?” She threw a questioning glance at her sister, then fury returned to her eyes as she focused on Roper again.
“I happened, Mrs. Rammada,” Roper said, stepping into the room.
“Get the hell out of this house.” She gestured with a sharp flick of her arm. “You and your family are not welcome here.”
“Believe me, I don’t want to be here any more than you want me here.” He stepped up close behind Beth.
His body heat radiated against her back, and she knew if he reached out he could encircle her with his arms.
“Beth?” her mother said. “What’s going on?”
“Yeah, what in the Lord’s name is going on?” her aunt asked, before knocking back two fingers of liquor.
Beth was still reeling with surprise that her mother had recognized Roper instantly.
“Like I said, I happened,” Roper repeated. “Your precious baby girl was dying of hypothermia and starvation when I found her frozen in a doorway in arguably the most undesirable area of New York City.”
“So you thought you’d lure her back to your den while she was vulnerable. That’s just sick. You’re sick.”
Roper huffed. “Maybe I am, but that’s not how it happened. I had no idea who she was. I just was doing a good deed. Turns out we had more in common than we realized.”
“At which point you should’ve gotten away from him.” Her mother directed her words at Beth.
“And go where? There were no Rammadas around to help me, were there? Roper fed me, clothed me, gave me a bed to sleep in.”
“Yeah, his bed no doubt, the sick fuck.” She rammed her hands on her hips. “You know she’s only nineteen, right?”
“Mom, what does that have to do with it?”
“You were a child bride when you married Brent,” Jolie chimed in. “Just seventeen if I remember right, and he was going on thirty.”
“Shut the hell up, Jolie,” her mother said, marching to the table. She poured herself a drink and swallowed it in one go.
“Pot and kettle,” Jolie said.
“I told you to shut it.”
Roper rested his hands on Beth’s shoulders.
His touch was comforting.
“Think of me and my family what you will, Mrs. Rammada, but I saved your daughter’s life.”
“He did, Mom. I was gonna die out there.”
India pursed her lips, then flipped her hair over her shoulders. “And now. You two…are…”
Silence.
“What’s going on?” she asked.
“We’re together,” Beth said. “And that’s all there is to it.”
“Jesus, Tommy would turn in his grave to know you were shacking up with a damn Hermanus.” India made another cross over her chest.
“Tommy would just have to get used to it,” Beth replied, hating that her brother’s name had come into the argument.
“I can’t say my family is gonna to be too happy that a Rammada is in my bed,” Roper said, “but we’ll deal with it.” He pressed a kiss to the top of Beth’s head. “We’ll have to.”
Beth could have cried with relief. He really was serious about them, about being together, facing the music. She swallowed down a lump of emotion that was threatening to bubble to the surface. She could deny it no longer. This was the real thing between her and Roper.
Her mother sat heavily and lit a cigarette.
“So now what?” Jolie asked, also reaching for a cigarette, then taking the lighter from India.
“Now we move forward,” Roper said. He stepped away from Beth and up to the table, where he helped himself to the brandy, pouring it into the glass Beth had used. He knocked it back, both women looking up at him as he did so.
“Where’s Pop Rammada?” he asked.
The million-dollar question.
“He’s still in the house,” India said.
“In Chicago?” Beth was shocked. While she’d been living on the streets, he’d been at home? “But how…I mean…”
“He got one hell of a beating from Eastman, but they didn’t quite kill him,” India said. “Though they went back several times and gave him another go over.”
“That’s good.” Beth felt her heart rate steady slightly. “That he’s not dead, I mean.”
“Yeah, well, small mercies and all that.” India paused. “But we’ve lost our territory, picked up by opportunistic, money-grabbing local gangs. Your father’s deals all fell through and we’ve no cash flow.”
“So what, he’s just sitting in the house? Doing nothing?”