by Brie Paisley
His fingers drop my chin, making me suddenly feel bare. I watch him run his hands through his hair and he says a lot in Russian. I know none of it’s good just how he looks at me with angry and hurt eyes. I see his jaw clenching and when he drops his hands to his side, I watch them as them clench as well. I want to say something to him, anything to make him understand that I didn’t have a choice, but I don’t. I just sit, and wait for him to say something to me. He runs a hand down his face and he shakes his head looking away from me. I hate knowing he can’t even look at me right now.
“How could you let him take her?” His voice is dripped with distain and I can’t help but cringe away from him.
“Viktor, I … I didn’t have a choice.”
He looks at me then and says, “You had a choice! There’s always a choice. Why, Ava? Why have you been letting him come into our home and take our child?”
I frown at his choice of words and look away. I’ll always be grateful for Viktor buying this house for Gabbie and I, but I need him to understand that I didn’t have a choice. I get he has been here and has done so much for us, but even if I hate it, Malcolm is Gabbie’s father. “Viktor, we’ve been through this already. Malcolm is Gabbie’s father, whether you want it to be or not, that’s the truth. He has a right to see her.”
“That’s bullshit and you know it!” He points to his chest as he says, “I have been here. I was there to take you to the hospital when you went into early labor. It was me who was there watching a miracle happen. I held her in my arms after she was born, not him.” He drops his finger and turns away from me. “I was the one to see her grow up and help you take care of her. I can’t understand why you would let him near her, Ava.”
“You say all these things as if you don’t think I appreciate them, or as if I don’t love you more for it. I know I owe you so much for being there and for still being here now. But you have to at least consider my side too.” He doesn’t seem to be listening to me.
He turns slowly back around to me and asks, “Why? Tell me why, Ava.”
“Viktor, I …”
He cuts me off as he says, “No more fucking excuses. Tell me why? He left you, broke your heart, and left you in pieces. I was there to help when you needed to put yourself back together. I gave you a job so you could have the freedom to take care of Gabbie. I gave you space when you rejected me and pushed me away. I did everything for you and Gabbie, but yet, the second he comes back, you let him run all over you again and take Gabbie.”
“I had no choice!” I jump off the stool and push my hair out of my face. “He didn’t give me a choice, Viktor. It was either let him see her without me, or he was going to fight me to win sole custody.” I drop my hands to my sides, feeling utterly defeated. “I don’t stand a chance against him. He comes from money and power. I might have to money but I don’t have the power like his family does. His mother knows people and all Malcolm has to do is tell her what to ask and it’s done. You just don’t get it!”
“Then explain it to me then. Because from where I’m standing, to me it sounds just like you gave up. Instead of fighting harder, you gave in. So please, explain it.”
I shake my head and turn away from him. Hearing he thinks I gave up really makes my chest hurt. I turn back around and suck in a breath. “I didn’t give up. I’m doing the only thing I know to do to keep her. I might not like it, but I’ll do it if it means I still have her in my life.”
“Then why lie to me about it? You know, I came home early to check on you. I knew something was wrong, I’ve known for a while things haven’t been right, but I never thought you would lie to me about something like this. Please tell me there’s a better reason than what you’re telling me right now.”
“Because I knew this would happen! Viktor, you have fought me from the moment he came back into the picture. I’ve been dealing with this all by myself because you can’t accept the fact that he’s her father.” I can’t let myself feel bad about lying to him. I knew he would act this way. He won’t accept the fact that Malcolm is Gabbie’s father and even if I hate to admit it, he has a right to see her.
Viktor places his hands on his hips and drops his head. He looks up to me and says, “Do you even hear yourself? No, he’s not her father. Father’s don’t take off and then show up later thinking it’s alright just because he stuck his dick in you and knocked you up.” He rubs his hands down his face, almost as if he knew how much his words would hurt me.
I step back and place a hand over my heart. I have a feeling Viktor’s never going to let this go, and no matter what I say will change his mind. “I get you love Gabbie and you want what’s best for her. I get it, I really do.” I take a deep breath as I say, “Viktor, Malcolm is her father. Yes he knocked me up, left me, and has been threatening to take her away. Maybe instead of being angry with me, you could’ve supported my decision. Maybe you could’ve helped me figure out what else to do, but no. You keep fighting me on this and I did what I had to. You don’t have to like it, hell I don’t even like it, but I’m doing it. I would rather go through this instead of dragging Gabbie through court and letting some stranger decide what’s best for her.”
“Let me get this straight. You decided to lie, stop working, just because you knew I wouldn’t agree with what you wanted?” He starts to laugh, but it’s devoid of any humor. “I didn’t think you were selfish, but I’ve been proven wrong. You did what was easy. Plain and simple.”
“I’m selfish? You’re the one,” I stop talking when the doorbell goes off. I huff out a breath, wondering who could be at the door. I open the door and I see Malcolm and Gabbie. “What happened?” Gabbie runs past me and runs straight to Viktor. He picks her up and says something to her in Russian. I hear her giggle, but I can tell he’s still angry with me by the look in his eyes. I turn back to Malcolm and ask again, “What happened?”
“Casey was angry that I’ve been spending so much time with Gabbie and she had made plans for us tonight. I’d forgotten all about it. I didn’t think you would mind me bringing her back early since you hate it when I come to get her.” He looks around the door, trying to see why Gabbie’s suddenly laughing. “Is someone here?”
“Thanks for bringing her back.” I start to shut the door, but Malcolm puts a hand on it. He pushes it back making me stumble and I almost fall. I catch myself as he walks in uninvited. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
He ignores me as he sees Viktor playing with Gabbie. He’s tossing her in the air, making her giggle and squeal loudly. Malcolm turns to me and says, “This is the guy you’re seeing?”
I roll my eyes at him. “Not that it’s any of your business, but yes.”
Viktor slowly puts Gabbie down and tells her to go to her room to play. She does what he says, and Viktor walks over to me and puts his arm around my waist. I want to knock his arm off of me. I’m still pissed at him.
“Do you have a problem, Malcolm?” Viktor says to him. I frown while looking from Viktor to Malcolm. I really hope Malcolm doesn’t say anything and just leaves. That’s what needs to happen.
“Yeah, I do. I don’t want you hanging around my daughter anymore.” Viktor drops his arm from around me, and I slowly back away.
“Your daughter? I’ve been here since she’s been born, where the fuck have you been?” They step closer to each other with each word said. I can only watch as they start to argue with each other, like I’m not even here.
Malcolm smirks at Viktor and says, “Wouldn’t you love to know where I was. I bet it pisses you off knowing you can’t touch me now.”
What the fuck? “What are you talking about, Malcolm?” I ask.
Before Malcolm can answer me, Viktor says, “Shut your mouth, Malcolm. If you know what’s best for you, you will walk out that door right now.” I look to Viktor then to Malcolm having no idea what’s going on.
Malcolm ignores Viktor and turns to me with a smirk on his face. “He didn’t tell you, did he?” When I don’t say anything he con
tinues. “I borrowed money from him once. Of course, I couldn’t pay it back so I left. And now he still can’t touch me because he knows if he does, his biggest client will stop borrowing his money from his club.” Malcolm turns to me and winks as he adds, “You know, since my dad and Viktor’s biggest client plays golf together.”
Then it all clicks in place for me. The money I found in Malcolm’s car, him mysteriously leaving without a word. I look at Viktor as I realize it wasn’t fate that brought him to me that day on the sidewalk. He knew Malcolm before we ever met me and I don’t even want to know what this means for us. Was he just using me this entire time, just to get back at Malcolm? Viktor won’t even look at me. He’s staring at Malcolm. I start to back away some more when I hear Malcolm start talking again.
“Now as I was saying before. You will stay away from Gabbie. I would hate to get my parent’s involved, making things bad for you and your business.”
“You fucking prick. You think just because mommy and daddy have money and have connections that you can get everything you want?” Viktor is inches from Malcolm’s face as he tells him, “What you don’t know about me, is I have connections too. You think for one second you’re going to keep me away from Gabbie? Guess again. I have the one thing you don’t.” I frown wondering what the fuck he’s talking about. “Gabbie may be yours by blood, but she’s mine legally.”
“What the fuck are you talking about, Viktor?” I can’t stay quiet any longer. I’ve heard about all I can for one day, and hearing Viktor say this, well this is just icing on the cake. Viktor clenches jaw, and looks at me with regret in his eyes. He tries to come closer to me but I shake my head and walk backwards. I can’t be near him.
“Ava, please let me explain,” he says as he holds up his hands.
“Oh please, do explain how you think you have any type of rights to Gabbie.” I look at Malcolm actually agreeing with him for once. I’d love to know what the hell Viktor’s talking about.
Viktor puts his hands on his hips knowing he’s going to have to tell us the truth. “Ava, when I met you, no it wasn’t just fate or a coincidence. I’d been looking for Malcolm for weeks, trying to get my money he borrowed for gambling,” Viktor glares at Malcolm as he tells us both his side of the story. I never knew Malcolm had a gambling problem. I remember him playing poker with his college buddies, but I never knew it was actually a problem for him. I know Viktor’s telling the truth by the way Malcolm looks away from me as if he’s ashamed. “The day I found you, I wanted to see if anyone was at the address I found. I saw you walking down the sidewalk, and you were crying. I had no idea until later that you were the girl Malcolm had gotten pregnant.” He looks away and adds, “Yes, I knew he had a baby on the way. I did my homework on him, getting all the information I could. When I took you to the hospital and you told me you were with a guy named Malcolm, everything seemed to fall into place. I thought since I couldn’t get my money back without losing a huge client, I would …”
“You would what?” I ask him when he stops talking. I have a feeling I already know.
“After you saw the birth certificate, I took it without you realizing and had someone change Malcolm’s name to mine.” Viktor sighs deeply as he rubs his face. “They forged Gabbie’s birth certificate. I thought at the time it was a great idea to get back at him. He took my money, so I was going to take his family.”
“You did what!” Malcolm and I say at the same time.
My hands and voice shake as I say, “So you’re telling us, that you forged my daughter’s birth certificate with your name to get back at Malcolm because he ripped you off?” I cannot believe any of this. Viktor starts to talk again, but I’m through listening. “This whole time,” my voice breaks again and I take a deep breath to get my emotions under control. “You’ve been using me this whole time. I was nothing more than another job to finish with you. How could you do this to me? To Gabbie?” I shake my head and I turn to leave. Viktor grabs my wrist and makes me turn around to face him.
“You know good and damn well it wasn’t like that. Yeah, maybe in the beginning I had plans of using you, but after spending all that time with you and Gabbie, I couldn’t imagine hurting either one of you.”
“Yeah, good job at that asshole. You do realize it wouldn’t matter if you had someone change the name on the certificate. A simple DNA test would show how Gabbie is mine,” Malcolm says sarcastically.
Viktor laughs and I back away from him. He glances at me but I shake my head. I can’t let him touch me. I’m shocked and utterly heartbroken at all the lies. Viktor sighs loudly, turning back to Malcolm. “All I had to do is call in a favor from a dear friend of mine. She would’ve been more than happen to make it change the test for me.” Viktor tells Malcolm with a smug grin.
“Ava, are you hearing any of this? How can you allow Gabbie to be anywhere near this fucking psycho?”
“Shut your fucking mouth!” Viktor yells in Malcolm’s face as I jump from Viktor’s booming voice. “This is all your fault anyways. You should’ve stayed gone. Everything was perfect before you came along and none of this shit would be happening right now if you would’ve done us all a favor and stayed away.”
Malcolm smiles and starts to laugh. I feel my heart breaking even more. Viktor never had any intention of telling me he forged Gabbie’s birth certificate or had planned to fake a blood test. I would’ve never known anything if Malcolm had stayed away. “You know, for a guy so in control, you sure are losing everything right now.” Malcolm says to Viktor.
I can’t take any more of this. “Get out.” Both of them just look at me and I scream at them, “Get out now!”
“Ava, please. We can sit down and talk about this and we can work through it.” Viktor begs but I don’t want to hear anything else.
“I said get the fuck out!” I brush past both of them and I open the door. “Either you leave or I’ll call the cops and let them know both of you are harassing me.” Malcolm is the first to walk out the door. He quietly tells me he’ll call me about seeing Gabbie again, and I have nothing left in me to fight with him about it. Viktor doesn’t move for the longest time. He stares at me, but I can’t look at him. I feel so hurt and used by him. “Just go, Viktor.”
“Can I at least tell Gabbie goodbye?” The way his voice cracks makes me nod my head. I stand by the door as he goes upstairs and tells Gabbie goodbye. After a few minutes and I don’t hear her crying, I start to see what he’s doing up there. But then I see him walking down the stairs, while rubbing his face with is hands. I stand still as he approaches me, hoping he doesn’t try to touch me.
“Ava, please. Let me explain.”
“I think you’ve said enough for the both of us. Now get out.” I turn away when he tries to kiss me. He touches me softly on my cheek, and walks out the door. I slam the door, and I can feel my heart cracking into pieces again. I thought when Malcolm left me and Gabbie, that was heartache, but there’s nothing compared to what I’m feeling in this moment. Viktor made me love him, made me trust him, only to use me and hurt me in the worst possible way. Not only that, but how am I going to explain to Gabbie why Viktor isn’t coming around anymore? How am I going to pretend everything’s fine in front of her? I lean my back against the door, having no idea how I’ll ever get over this. I never thought Viktor would be the one to ultimately rip my heart out.
It’s been two weeks since I’ve seen Viktor. Each day is the same and I feel I’m losing the battle with all the sadness. Gabbie and I left our home a few days after the blow up with Viktor. I knew he would try to come back and talk to me, and I knew I’d eventually give in. I couldn’t let that happen. So, instead of fighting with Viktor, and letting him explain, I’m staying with my parents until I can find another home. I was tempted to take some of the money I’ve been putting in an account for Gabbie, but I couldn’t to do it. That money is for my baby girl’s future and I’ll just have to find another job. I just need to move somewhere away from Nashville, and from the sma
ll town my parents live in. I just can’t handle knowing that Viktor might one day show up unannounced. I can’t bear to see him right now. Viktor calls every single day though to talk to Gabbie. I don’t like it, but Gabbie’s constantly asking where he is, or if he’s coming over. He tries every single time to get Gabbie to give me the phone so I can talk to him, but I always hang up on him. I’ve nothing to say to him, and I hope he knows just how much he’s hurt me.
Malcolm still comes by every few days and gets Gabbie. He and I still have yet to talk about what happened that night and I really don’t care to. He doesn’t bring up him getting custody at all anymore, so I see no need to bring up anything else. Gabbie still doesn’t like going with Malcolm, but at least now, she doesn’t scream and try to jump out of his arms. She still cries, which in turn, hurts me even more, but mom helps me on my worst days.
I eventually broke down one day and told her everything. About Viktor’s club, me dancing for money, and the contract. Every lie I ever told her, I purged out of me. I felt better afterwards, but I knew mom was disappointed in me. I hated seeing that look, but she’s the only one I could talk to about it to. We both decided to keep my dad in the dark about me stripping and how things ended with Viktor and I. Dad still asks some times what happened, but I always brush him off and find a way to stir the conversation elsewhere.
Today, I let Malcolm take Gabbie to his mother’s house. Apparently they’re having some sort of company get together, and Malcolm was adamant about bringing Gabbie with him. I finally said yes, but now I wish I would’ve said no. Mom and dad left for the weekend on an antiquing trip, and I don’t like these kind of days. The ones where I have nothing to distract my mind from thoughts of Viktor. I’ve nothing to do these past few weeks. I quit dancing knowing there was no way I could do that anymore. Margo wasn’t thrilled but in the end she wished me the best. Now, I wish more than ever that Mrs. Myrah hadn’t sold her ballet studio. I’ve thought about buying it, but I don’t know the first thing about running a studio. Then there’s the fact that I’m running low on funds. And to be honest, it’s a miracle I still get out of bed every morning. If I didn’t have Gabbie to take care of, I know that’s where I’d be.