by LuAnn McLane
Addison looked down at her ruby red toenails peeking through the top of her black sandals. She swallowed hard and then looked back at Garret. “Be honest. Did you ask me to marry you just to be in the reality show?”
“No.” Garret reached out and ran a fingertip down her cheek. “I loved being with you, making you laugh, smile. You made me feel good about myself even when I didn’t always deserve it.” He shrugged and Addison saw raw emotion cloud his eyes.
“We’re both breathing down the neck of our thirties, Garret. Maybe it’s time to grow up.”
“Eh … growing up is overrated,” he answered with another cocky shrug. But Addison wasn’t really fooled. “Just look at my dad, still rockin’ long hair and leather. I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree and all that crap.” His nonchalant tone didn’t match the rather haunted look in his eyes. “My mother called it something …”
“The Peter Pan syndrome?”
“Yeah … that.”
Addison hitched her purse strap higher on her shoulder. “You know, Garret, maybe your father wishes he’d been around more when you were growing up. Maybe he’d still be married to your mom. Being a rock star might not be all that it’s cracked up to be either.”
“Yeah, right. Said no one ever.” Garret chuckled but it sounded a bit forced. “Trust me, my dad loves his life,” he added with a touch of bitterness. But then he sighed. “Damn. So, you’re really breaking up with me? Calling the wedding off? For real?”
“For real.”
He remained silent for a moment. “So, what do you want out of life?” Garret finally asked in a rare serious moment. And she had to wonder if he was asking himself the same question.
“Oh, I don’t know.” Addison sighed. “Undying, everlasting, all-consuming, crazy love. Is that asking too much?” Her small laugh ended with a slight hitch.
“Does that really exist?”
“I’m not sure.” She toyed with the heart charm on her key chain. “But I want to find out. Don’t you?”
Garret shrugged but for once seemed at a loss for words. Addison supposed that he was as stunned as she was at the sudden, very sad turn of events.
“Good-bye, Garret.” But when she turned to open her car door he put a hand on her shoulder.
“Hey …”
Addison turned around.
“I’m going to really miss you. This is my loss. You deserve better,” he said, and Addison could tell that he meant it.
“We both do. I hope someday you’ll figure that out too.”
Garret looked down at the ground and then back at her. “Then promise me one thing.”
“What?”
“That you won’t settle for anything less than undying, everlasting, all-consuming, crazy love. Go for it. All or nothing at all. Don’t let my sorry ass turn you into a cynic.”
Addison chuckled softly. “You know, Garret, there’s more to you than you let on or than you even realize. I’ve seen it. Like right now.” She stepped forward and tapped on his chest. “Just have the courage to dig deep and find it.”
With a sigh Garret leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. “Like I said, you give me much more credit than I deserve, but that’s the way you are,” he said. “Now promise me.”
Addison blinked at him for a minute. “I promise.” She had to push the words past the emotion clogging her throat.
“Good,” Garret said gruffly, and stood there for a long moment, as if knowing this might be the last time they spoke.
Addison reached up and cupped his chin. “This was easier when I was super-pissed and wanted to toss water in your face.”
“Right …” He gave her a slight grin. “You’d never do that.”
“No … probably not.” She dropped her hand. “But it crossed my mind.”
“You’re making this damned difficult,” Garret admitted with an unexpected tremor in his voice. But he inhaled a deep breath and seemed to regain his composure. “The thought of not having you in my life anymore just, well … sucks.” He jammed his thumb over his shoulder. “Can’t we just head back in there and start over?”
“No …” Addison shook her head. “This is hard but I really think it’s for the best, for both our sakes. Good-bye, Garret.”
“Ahh, Addison … dammit.” He opened his clenched fist and looked down at the ring before gazing back up at her.
Addison reached over and gently folded his fingers upward and then over the ring. She knew that he really did care about her, probably more than he actually realized until now. But it wasn’t enough, and they both knew it. Without another word, he turned and walked away.
Addison watched him depart and felt warm tears sliding down her face. She felt an empty ache settle in her heart and wondered why love had once again eluded her. “Godspeed, Garret,” she whispered, and then slid behind the wheel. “And so the journey begins… .”
Again.
2
The Long and Winding Road
WHILE DRIVING AROUND AIMLESSLY, ADDISON TRIED TO make sense of what had just happened. “Too bad life doesn’t have a GPS, because I sure as hell don’t know where I’m going after this mess,” she mused. Two broken engagements in less than five years was, well, too many. And both times she’d been convinced she was in love—Addison was serious when she told Garret she wanted the real deal. “Right. Like that’s going to happen,” she grumbled. Clearly, she couldn’t trust her own judgment. The reality of calling off another wedding settled into the pit of her stomach, disturbing the Cobb salad she’d consumed.
Addison finally pulled into the parking lot of her father’s art and music gallery. Beauty and the Beat showcased affordable artwork and music from lesser-known but extremely talented artists and musicians from all around the country. Her father had one entire room dedicated to Native American art and music, in honor of her mother’s heritage. Paul Monroe loved discovering new talent, and Addison had developed a deep appreciation for the arts from him. But while she truly enjoyed working there, Addison secretly longed to find her own passion. She just didn’t quite know what it was, and maybe that’s why she kept falling for the wrong guys. Maybe she needed to discover herself first.
But who was she?
Addison frowned and considered her own question. While she had gotten the creative gene from her father, Addison also had a nose for numbers and a degree in business to show for it. Would it be possible to find some sort of career where she could combine the two?
For a few minutes she simply sat in her car and stared out the window. This breakup with Garret had shaken her up in more ways than one, and for the second time in her life, she felt lost and without any real direction. Or maybe she was always lost and without direction and didn’t even know it. But still, it was odd how someone could be the center of your universe and then suddenly be completely gone. Poof. With Aiden she’d had friendship but lacked passion. With Garret she’d had the pure enjoyment of his company but lacked substance. Was it possible to have a best friend and passionate lover who made you laugh all day long? Someone who put you first? Addison leaned her head back against the seat and sighed. Too many questions.
“And no answers.”
When the inside of the car started to get stuffy Addison finally opened the door and headed inside the gallery. She smiled when she heard Loudmouth being piped through the speakers.
Addison made a beeline for her father’s office and poked her head through the doorway. “Dad, do you have a minute to talk?”
“Sure,” he answered casually, but as soon as her father looked up and saw her face, he put his reading glasses down and stood up from where he sat behind his massive antique desk. “Sweetheart, what’s wrong?”
Addison walked into the room and held up her naked ring finger.
“Oh … Addie,” he said, using the childhood endearment that she’d balked against as a teenager. His use of it now was almost her undoing and she swallowed hard. “What happened?” He walked over and gave her a much-ne
eded hug.
“I broke up with Garret,” Addison replied with a muffled sob against his shoulder.
“Oh … sweetie.” He hugged her harder and then backed up and gave her a sympathetic shake of his head. “I’m so sorry.”
“Thank you, Dad.” His hug immediately helped to calm Addison down. “Is Mom here?”
“No, she’s recording back-to-back shows today. But you can bend my ear.” He pointed to the leather sofa against the far wall. “Have a seat and tell me about it.”
After sitting down, Addison explained Garret’s reality-show nonsense. “Although he denied it, I really do think it was one of the main reasons he wanted to get married.”
“Oh, Addison, I’m so sorry to hear that.” He blew out a sigh that held a hint of anger. “I rather liked the fellow, but I have to admit that your mother complained that she thought Garret lacked depth. She wanted to talk to you about him, but I thought we should steer clear of your love life. And now I wish I had encouraged her to say something.”
Addison scooted sideways on the smooth brown leather to face her father. “No, Dad. This was my own choice. I’m twenty-eight years old. I take full responsibility.” She paused to swallow the hot emotion squeezing her throat. “I had so much fun with Garret that I overlooked his flaws. He could be very charming and always had me in stitches. He’s not a bad guy … just a bit … I don’t know … confused, I guess. It can be hard enough being Melinda Monroe’s daughter, but even so, I had a normal childhood growing up in the suburbs. I can’t imagine being the son of a rock star.”
“You’re being too kind.” He reached over and patted her hand. “Just like with Aiden. I don’t care who you are. Bad behavior is simply bad behavior, no matter how you slice it or the reasons behind it. If Garret’s motives for marrying you weren’t pure, then as sad as you are right now, you’re better off in the long run.”
“Oh, believe me, I know. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.” Addison groaned. “But the media is going to jump on this just like with Aiden. There will be a lot of junk put out there that isn’t remotely true.”
Her father squeezed her hand. “I’m so sorry, Addison. You know I love your mother dearly, and don’t get me wrong; I’m really proud of her. But damn if I don’t sometimes wish that her show hadn’t gotten so big that it makes her only daughter a target for this kind of rubbish.” He rubbed a hand down his face. “Unfortunately, the media loves a scandal and the public somehow enjoys seeing a wealthy or famous person fall from grace. You’re always getting caught in the crossfire. I know we should count our blessings, but sometimes I just hate it.”
“I get where you’re coming from, and it’s okay, Dad. And you’re right. I am lucky … well, except for the whole falling-in-love part,” she added drolly. “And I am proud of Mom too.”
“Your mother didn’t set out to become famous, you know. All she wanted to do was help people, especially middle-class folks, manage their money and plan for the future. She simply wanted resources out there to help, advise. All it took was one segment on Good Morning America and a runaway bestseller and everything changed in a heartbeat.”
“I know it’s not easy that she’s gone so much.”
He gave her a solemn nod. “Yeah, to tell you the truth, I miss the days when I was a starving artist teaching at school and Mel was trying to convince publishers that self-help books on finance would sell. But when the economy was booming nobody wanted to hear her dire predictions of how the prosperity was a house of cards ready to cave in.” He chuckled. “We were eating canned soup and peanut butter and jelly and … I don’t know. Things were just so much …”
“Simpler?” Addison gently supplied.
“Yes, and all we had was loving each other. Now … sometimes we forget the value of that. Ah, I guess I’ll always just be a hippie at heart … an old hippie,” he added with a grin. “But here I go rambling on when we need to be talking about you.”
Addison groaned. “Oh, I have to call and cancel so many things … the reception hall, the caterer … flowers.” She smacked her hand to her forehead. “And that’s just the beginning.”
“Give me a list and I’ll do it.”
“Oh, Dad, no! This is my mess.” Addison had to clench her teeth in an effort not to cry. “I’ll clean it up.” She hated the look of pain on her father’s face and the concern she would cause her busy mother. Addison thought of Garret and the stark sorrow in his eyes. Should she try to patch things up?
She sank her fingers into the leather sofa. Maybe she should just do the damned show!
“No, I’m insisting.” Her dad looked at her for a moment and then, as if knowing where her thoughts were going, said, “And I want you to get out of town. Away from the paparazzi and away from Garret Ruleman.”
“Out of town? But where would I go?”
After frowning for a minute her father snapped his fingers. “You know what? I was just talking to your uncle Mitch this morning. I asked how he liked living in Cricket Creek, and he went on and on about how both he and your cousin Mia love it there. They need a Chicago fix once in a while, but he said he doesn’t regret the laid-back way of life there one bit.”
Addison could see where this was going. “Dad …”
“No. You should go there for an extended visit. You and Mia are close, and Mitch said that Mia’s fiancé is on the road a lot, playing baseball.”
“Oh yeah. Isn’t he in the minor leagues?”
“Yes, and Mia can’t go see him play too often because she’s the promotions manager for the local baseball team. I just bet sweet little Mia would welcome your company.”
“Seriously, you think I should head to a small town in … where is it?”
“Kentucky. Cricket Creek, Kentucky.”
Addison leaned back against the leather. “Oh, I don’t know. Where would I stay? I wouldn’t want to impose on them.”
“Mia lives in a condo overlooking the baseball complex and the Ohio River. I just bet there are some for short-term lease.”
“And what will I do for money?” Addison tilted her head in question at her father. This was crazy … and yet it held a certain appeal.
“The last time I looked you had two weeks’ paid vacation coming,” he said, and when Addison still hesitated, he continued. “Look, I’ll miss your pretty face and your mother will too, but getting away from LA just might be the ticket you need right now.”
“I would probably fly under the radar there,” Addison admitted, warming up slightly to the suggestion.
“And Uncle Mitch’s wife owns a jewelry store in a lovely little mall called Wedding Row—I think Mitch called it. Maybe she needs some help in the shop?”
“I think I need to stay away from anything to do with weddings,” Addison answered flatly.
“Hey, don’t let either of these guys make you jaded. The right man will come along. You wait and see.”
“Well, I’m not holding my breath.” Addison rolled her eyes. “I’m taking a long break from men.”
“So, are you going to do it?”
Addison pressed her lips together, thought for a moment, and then nodded. “A change in atmosphere for a while would probably do me some good.” And, in truth, doing something on her own held a great deal of appeal as well. “But you have to promise me that you and Mom will come to visit if I stay longer than a couple of weeks.”
“We wouldn’t last that long before missing you too much not to visit. And I’d love to see Mitch and Mia. According to him Cricket Creek is a small town but has a lot to offer in the way of theater and local cuisine. You know how Uncle Mitch is.”
Addison grinned. “Yeah, you’re the hippie, and he’s the suit and tie. You’d never know you guys were brothers.”
“So, is it a deal?”
Addison thought about it for another moment, weighing whether another shake-up in her life was what she really needed. She suddenly felt a little surge of panic. This was going too fast and felt surreal. “No, wait
. This is insane. Who would do my job?”
“You do a tremendous job and work hard, Addison, but there are lots of qualified people out of work. I can get by for a month or so and hold your position until you get back. The worst part is going to be missing you … well, and dealing with your mother not liking this without her input, but I feel it in my gut that this would do you a world of good, or I wouldn’t suggest it.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. And, hey, if you don’t like it there you can come back after a couple of weeks. But give it a shot. And having you gone will be a good way to get your mother to take a much-needed break and come to visit.”
“All right, then.” Addison leaned over and hugged her father. When she pulled back she said, “Cancel everything but the trip to Hawaii. You and Mom need to take a second honeymoon for your thirtieth anniversary.”
He arched an eyebrow. “I’ll see what I can do to pull her away from work. But listen. You head home and start packing. I’ll call Mitch and get this ball rolling. He and Mia are going to be thrilled. Do you want to fly?”
Addison frowned. “No, I’ll want my car. I’ll take my time driving, and that will give you a few days to get things set up.”
“Perfect.”
He put his hands on her shoulders. “You need to do what you want and not what others want or expect of you. You do that way too much. And as much as I hate to admit it, that includes working at Beauty and the Beat. Keep that in mind, okay?”
“I will.” Addison gave her father a kiss on the cheek. “Oh, Dad. I love you so much. And I’m so sorry about this stupid mess I’ve created. I feel like I’m running away.”
“You don’t have anything to be sorry about. It’s called life, and we all live and learn every single day. Your mom and I just want you to be happy. And you’re not running away … just taking a break. Unless you want to do Dancing with the Stars? When your mother turned it down, it was offered to you.”
Addison laughed. “You know my answer to that.” She smiled. “You always make me feel better.”
“That’s what you do for people you love. If someone is bringing you down, they don’t deserve to be in your life. Seriously, sometimes you’re just too damned … nice. The next time someone treats you poorly, kick them right out of your life. Remember that, okay?”