Mail Order Soulmate

by Jean Oram

  “I do like it.” She risked meeting his gaze, and when she did it was as though every wall she’d ever had came tumbling down. In that moment it was just her and him, nothing hidden.

  She pushed herself off him, frightened by how it felt to be unprotected, scared that it might be okay to be so vulnerable and exposed with someone.

  Could she really be his? Truly his?

  “Are you planning to keep me here until I freeze to death?” she asked, as she struggled to get out of the drift and failed.

  “I can think of a few ways to keep us both warm.”

  She laughed and allowed herself to tumble back against him.

  “Newlyweds,” Logan muttered to Ginger as they passed by.

  “Hand up?” Zach asked, reaching past Catherine.

  “I think we should leave you here in the snow,” Catherine said, reaching for Logan in turn.

  Instead of taking her offered hand, he clutched Zach’s. “Hold on, mate. You, too, my little sheila.”

  With a sharp pull, he lifted Zach out of the drift, Catherine clinging to him and coming along for the ride.

  “My word,” she said to Logan once she was on her feet. “You must be able to bench-press a train.”

  Ginger snuggled against her husband, looking up with a smile. Zach rolled his eyes as the two of them kissed, and Catherine giggled, knowing that at the moment they weren’t much better than the happy couple.

  And she wouldn’t change it for the world.

  Zach loved that Catherine was enjoying the hike. She seemed to savor all the same things he did, from the fresh air to any excuse to hold her in his arms. His favorite was to stand behind her, one arm around her waist as he leaned in close, so he could line up his other arm like a sight for her eyes to track toward a potential tree higher up the mountain. He was pretty sure Catherine was onto him, since every tree he’d chosen had been awful, but she didn’t seem to mind the game.

  Up here he felt as though he could focus on real life rather than the puzzle that had defeated Logan, Scott and himself last night. They’d been sitting in the large log structure that served as the town’s police station, quietly sorting through Scott’s meager evidence from last week’s break-ins, when a call had come in for another forced entry. They’d gone out as soon as Scott was off the phone, trying to catch up with the thieves as they hit three places in a row.

  The three of them had spread out, confident they’d meet with success in this small town they knew so well. At one point Zach had thought he saw seen someone on foot, but by the time he reached the end of the street in his Land Rover, the shadows were empty.

  He’d gone home hours later, defeated, his mind buzzing with details that wouldn’t triangulate into anything solid enough to offer Scott as a possible lead. Catherine had been up feeding Xavier and had wanted to chat, but Zach, feeling bad, had slipped away at the first opportunity so he could sit down in his office and think.

  But today was about him and Catherine, as well as himself, Catherine and Xavier as a family. Zach’s heart expanded in his chest, a bubble of happiness ballooning inside him. There was something about Catherine that allowed them to connect. With her it felt as though he had enough to give, and that what he did give she cherished and appreciated. Flaws and all.

  Catching up with her and Xavier again, he dropped the cable for his own sled and picked her up, swinging her in a circle, even though it meant the two of them would get wrapped in the cord of Xavier’s sled. He buried his face in her scarf, burrowing to the flesh of her neck so he could kiss her, inhale her. He held her close and her body softened into his.

  “How did I ever find you?” she asked, when he put her down again.

  “Best online shopping day of my life.”

  She laughed and playfully patted his chest with her mitten.

  He glanced to the side to snag a visual of Xavier, who was still right side up in his little sled despite the way Zach had just spun his mother around. Then his attention was right back on Catherine and those gorgeous blue eyes that were filled with so much wonder, peace, and happiness. He had put that there. He had made her smile, relax. She had let him in.

  “Let this new custom of ours mark the beginning of what will surely be a long and wonderful marriage,” he said, brushing a wisp of hair off her cheek.

  Together, they had everything they needed, that special thing nobody else had been able to offer.

  In fact, he thought, as he tipped his head down for a sweet kiss, it just might be perfect.

  Catherine felt as if she flapped her arms she could lift off and fly above the alpine meadows. In one month her life had gone from a nightmare to a fantasy. Zach was wonderful—with her, with Xavier. She felt safe and relaxed, certain in the knowledge that he wouldn’t judge her, as she had been in the past.

  And yet she felt there was no point in telling him every little thing about her childhood. They understood each other as they were in this moment, and that was enough for right now. She was being the woman she had always wanted to be. One she never thought she’d get the chance to be. Happy and safe, living the good life with a precious, beautiful and healthy baby boy. And right now that meant enjoying a picnic with new friends, all satisfied with their Christmas tree choices.

  Catherine hooked her arm through Zach’s, surprising him as she clinked her metal cup of hot chocolate against his before raising it to her lips. There were six of them, herself and Zach, Ginger and Logan, and Jill and Burke, gathered in a circle on the mountain, Amy and Moe having already headed back to the car after selecting their tree.

  “You forgot to make a toast,” Zach said quietly.

  She paused before her sip. “To new beginnings.”

  “To new beginnings and new marriages,” he replied, taking a sip of his own hot chocolate.

  They kissed, warm, sweet and chocolaty.

  “How did I get so lucky?” she murmured.

  “How did I?” he replied.

  “Come on, you guys,” Jill said. “You’re going to make everyone barf their picnic breakfast all over this pristine snow.”

  Her husband coughed, spraying out his mouthful of cocoa.

  Catherine laughed. Jill, with her strong build, came off as a tough woman, but had a gentle soul and a sense of humor that had tickled Catherine as they’d watched and joked as the men struggled through the waist-deep snow to cut the chosen trees.

  “Do you have a cast-iron skillet in need of seasoning?” Jill asked. “Ginger and I are getting ours done.” Ginger nodded in agreement.

  Catherine gave them a puzzled look, wondering why they wouldn’t just do it themselves.

  Jill and Ginger simultaneously began fanning their faces. Okay, so the pan seasoner was dreamy. Got it.

  She laughed as Logan said, “This is our cue, boys.”

  Burke and Zach stood, heading farther up the path to secure the last tree on a sled. As Zach passed Catherine and Xavier, who was sitting in his own sled, he unstrapped the baby boy and picked him up, carrying him on his hip.

  A family.

  That’s what she now had.

  “So?” Jill prodded. “Do you need yours done? If we can collect over ten orders we get a 20 percent discount. He comes to town once a year and seasons cast-iron pans and sharpens knives. Burke was ready to toss out his knife set and this guy brought it back to life for only a couple bucks. He does it that day in his truck.”

  “I’ll ask Zach,” Catherine said.

  “Let either of us know if you’re in,” Ginger said.

  “Okay.”

  “Did you hear about that break-in near you?” Jill asked Catherine, who shook her head. “It was just a few streets over from your place.”

  “Don’t freak her out,” Ginger scolded.

  “I’m not.” Jill laughed. “Everything’s a few streets over in Blueberry Springs. And you’re the one who should be freaked out because you live even closer. And anyway, Catherine has a security system—”

  “So do I,” Ginger
said.

  “—as well as a big burly man keeping her warm at night.”

  Catherine ignored the comment, hoping she wasn’t blushing. She and Zach weren’t quite at the keeping-each-other-warm-at-night stage.

  “Again, so do I,” Ginger said with a dry tone.

  “We don’t need details about you ladies and your James Bonds,” Jill retorted.

  “Wasn’t going to give them.” Ginger’s expression became somber and she looked up the hill toward the men.

  “James Bonds?” Catherine laughed.

  “Because they’re in security,” Ginger said quickly, cutting off Jill, who gave her a funny look.

  “They hit three places in one night,” Jill said soberly. “I’ve been sleeping with my gun under my pillow.”

  “Your gun?” Catherine asked in surprise. Sure, her father had slept that way, but the general British population did not. Over here, she realized, things were different, but she hadn’t expected Jill to be the gun-sporting type.

  “My dad owns the gun range in town.”

  “She’s a sharpshooter,” Ginger explained. “Used to win competitions and stuff.”

  “Really?” Catherine reassessed the woman

  “Totally into being a female Rambo,” Ginger said.

  Jill rolled her eyes. “If you want to learn how to shoot a gun, come to me. I’ll teach you.”

  “I don’t think…” Catherine, who’d grown up around guns and never been comfortable with them, much to her father’s confusion, couldn’t imagine keeping herself armed. Not even when she’d been on the run had she carried anything other than mace. But maybe she should. The culture around weapons was different here than it was in England and she might be smart to consider it. “I’ll think about it.”

  Jill smiled.

  “When did they break in?” Catherine asked, wondering if it was while she’d been home alone with Xavier.

  “Between ten and two last night,” Ginger said.

  Catherine struggled to turn her mind away from the avenue it wanted to go down. Zach had indeed been out during those hours, and he’d been oddly silent when he’d come home, preferring to lock himself in his office instead of talking.

  “Was Logan out last night?” she asked.

  “He was with Zach,” Ginger said slowly. “When did he come home?”

  “Around two.”

  “That’s when Logan came home.” Ginger wasn’t watching her, but concentrating on packing away the remains of their picnic. Catherine got a strange feeling that she was hiding something.

  Jill popped to her feet and went to collect her off-leash dog, who was greeting hikers coming up the path.

  “He’s a good man,” Ginger said, raising her eyes to meet Catherine’s. “You can trust him.”

  “Zach? Or Logan?”

  “Both,” she said firmly.

  “How can I be sure?”

  “Because you can trust me. And I know them both.”

  Catherine only wished it was that easy. Because there was one thing that never came easily for her, and that was trust.

  Zach had to admit he was pretty proud of their Christmas tree. Not only would it add an incredible smell to their home, adding spice to the holiday season, but it also marked the beginning of a new life.

  Dragging the tree on the sled, Zach came up beside Catherine as they approached the parking lot and the path widened out. She’d gone quietly contemplative on the walk down the mountain, and he couldn’t help but notice the questions in her eyes whenever they met his.

  He considered placing a kiss on her cheek, but there was barely an inch skin exposed, given the dropping temperature, and burrowing into her scarf to kiss her neck like he had earlier didn’t feel right somehow.

  “What did you think of selecting our own tree?” He glanced back, making sure his oversized load wasn’t bumping into Catherine’s sled, which held Xavier. Overhead, an eagle was circling, dipping and weaving as it rode the air currents.

  “It was wonderful.” She stopped walking, then reached over and placed a mittened hand against his cheek, watching him for a long moment. He felt as though she was reassessing him somehow. “I hope this is the beginning of many new traditions for our family.”

  Our family.

  His worries about the way she’d gone quiet on the walk flew from his mind and his heart soared like the eagle circling above.

  “Me, too,” he replied huskily, relieved by her words. He needed to remember that sometimes people got freaked out when their baby got sick, or that sometimes they simply needed some space to be alone with their thoughts.

  She dropped her hand and turned away, her thoughtful expression returning as they headed to the SUV.

  Zach unlocked the vehicle for Catherine and began untying the tree from the sled so he could put it on the roof of his Land Rover.

  “Hey, Logan?” Zach squatted in the snow, working on the knots.

  Logan, a few cars down, turned.

  “Think I could just tie this whole thing to the bumper and drag it back to town?” His fingers were already seizing up from being exposed to the cold and wind as he worked to loosen the ropes.

  “Only if Scott isn’t looking,” Logan replied. “I don’t think that’s a legal trailer.”

  Zach let out an amused grunt and continued working on freeing the tree.

  “Did you want your knives sharpened and cast-iron pan seasoned?” Catherine asked, bringing him Xavier’s empty sled, having put him in the Land Rover. “Jill was asking.”

  Zach shrugged. What did he know about that stuff? He’d been in charge of grills and pots of boiling water for the first year or two in the army, not anything technical. But if it made his wife happy, it made him happy. And he was all about happy. “Sure.”

  “I’ll let her know.” Catherine headed over to where Ginger and Jill were chatting. “Can you keep an ear out for Xavier?” She gestured to the vehicle.

  “Sure.” Zach watched her go, glad that she didn’t seem to be rebuilding her walls. She was nearly back to what he considered her regular self again.

  Patience, he reminded himself. That was all she and their relationship needed.

  She’d been through a lot in the past year with the stalker, losing her baby’s father, as well as being rounded up as a suspect at the nightclub. Not to mention motherhood, a new husband and moving to a foreign country. That was enough to send anyone into moments of mental retreat even with someone they trusted.

  Shortly after, Catherine rejoined him, asking, “Do you have your cell phone?”

  The wind had picked up, throwing snow at them.

  “Yeah. You need it?” He really needed to get her set up with one, but she kept insisting she was fine without one. He had a feeling she’d continue to say no until she could afford to buy one with her own money. Which meant he needed to surprise her with one. Maybe he could claim it was an employee perk, and that Logan had insisted she be connected at all times in case they needed her. She wouldn’t accept that as a valid excuse from him, but maybe if Logan delivered it she’d be too polite to refuse.

  “There’s a man who’s locked himself out of his car, and his phone is inside. Can you call a tow truck?”

  “Maybe you can help,” Logan said, coming over. “Used to be pretty good at that.”

  Zach shot his friend a dark look. “Just give the guy your phone.”

  “It died. Too cold on the mountain.” He gave Zach a grin and he wasn’t sure whether to believe the man or not. Either way, being able to break into vehicles and buildings, as well as sneak around firewalls and various security systems, was not a skill Zach liked to advertise in public. Or to his wife. Especially with the way her shoulders had stiffened beneath her bulky parka at Logan’s comment.

  Sure, someone was bound to let it slip soon enough that part of his military career had actually evolved into elite intelligence work, which might help explain his skill set in a legal context. But he had a very strong feeling that his past would make C
atherine uncomfortable. The silent questions of what all he had done during that career. Who he’d hurt. Who he’d pretended to be. She wouldn’t like it.

  He just wanted time. Time for her to get to know him better—the true heart of him. Not the labels that could be so easily applied.

  “Zach’s had a lot of careers,” Logan explained to Catherine.

  “He makes me sound criminal,” Zach told her. “I can give it a shot, but you should probably call Gus.”

  “Frankie’s in the city today,” Logan said, referring to the local auto body fanatic who helped the tow truck driver, Gus, from time to time. “Mandy wanted to hit some big designer sale.”

  “How do you know these things?” Ginger asked, coming over to join them. “You’re worse than the gossips.”

  “That’s why I suggested we call Gus,” Zach said slowly and deliberately, as though Logan was having cognitive issues. “Get him to bring his truck and locksmith skills out here.”

  “Gus fell off his diet wagon last night at his sister’s. His gout is something awful today,” Logan said, mimicking Zach’s tone.

  Great. Gus was going to be no use to them.

  “Again, you’re worse than the gossips,” Ginger said. She put an arm out to steer Catherine toward the Land Rover. “Let’s wait out of the wind while these two go and save the day.”

  Looked like they were doing this.

  “Don’t make it look too easy,” Logan muttered under his breath as they walked toward Logan’s car.

  “Do you think I was born yesterday?”

  Logan pulled a small black bag from his trunk. “What’s got Catherine so reflective today?”

  Zach sighed. “I don’t know. I’m trying to be patient, but sometimes it’s hard. I have to remind myself she’s had a big year.”

  Logan gave him a grim look. “You might need to come clean about your past life.”

  “She won’t like it.”

  He closed the trunk, facing Zach. “It’s just a matter of time until she finds out.”

  “I know.” And then what? She might believe it was a big oversight of his to not divulge the fact that his military career had involved espionage.