Later Amber sees the results of her actions causing her to think a little more before making a move in the future. She realizes the connection she has made drawing on this man, she can feel his terror and his demise. She was right, he had been there to pick up a couple of dogs, and he had every intention of letting them fight to the death; what Amber hadn't known was the fact he wasn't a willing participant in the games. His brother is a part of a gang running the circuit, who buried himself in an insurmountable pile of debt betting on the dogs. The two boys were forced into trading dogs as payoff so they wouldn't be killed. Wasn't the life of a couple dogs insignificant in comparison to the lives of he and his brother? He felt there was no other choice, though he hated the fights, knew it was wrong...what else could he possibly do? Amber feels a tinge of guilt, but only for a moment.
The fear Amber felt when she touched him was not any fear of her, she should have known he had no reason to fear her. He was afraid for his brother, and for himself. He knew that if he didn't bring the dogs to them before the end of the day they would not see tomorrow. Amber saved the dogs and their owners from great suffering, but had sentenced the two men to death. Though they were in over their heads and would likely have suffered the same end without her interference, could she feel justified in her part of it? They had died a terrible death, but nothing more gruesome than they had intended for the animals they attempted to steal.
Without new dogs, the ringmaster entertained his friends forcing the brothers to face one of the champion dogs in place of the animals they failed to procure. "The show must go on," he says, laughing as the brothers are slashed and ripped apart by the gnashing teeth of ferocious creatures that have learned well what it takes to survive. They didn't stand a chance against the onslaught without any weapons or means to protect themselves. The dogs punished the men for all the suffering and anguish they endured snarling and foaming in fear and anger. But to Amber it was nothing more than they had wished to put her baby through. It was nothing more than they deserved.
The more she thinks about it, the more sure she becomes that no matter what the cost, she will protect Allie, she doesn't care how many not-so-innocent people die to keep her dog from experiencing the horrors of the ring. They put themselves in that life, and that choice took their lives, not her. She will protect those she loves without mercy, without remorse and without hesitation. She knows what the leader looks like, and this is a small town. She will stop this suffering and force him to face what he is doing. The anger wells up inside her and she can see its flames flickering in her eyes when she looks in the mirror. There is a fire growing within her that is raging hotter and hotter. She will someday have to let it burn, or it will eat her up inside. Her anger and fear feeding the fire and every moment bringing her one step closer to losing control.
Amber keeps the incident and all its implications to herself. She doesn't want him to know the extent of her abilities. She doesn't want him to fear her. She really doesn't even know what she is capable of, but what she knows is enough to handle this alone. She lets Allie bathe her in kisses and then she turns her attention to James. He is always there now, next to her, a beacon of peace and a reminder that she has a reason to live. His body luring her into a place outside herself where nothing exists except for the feelings he produces within her. She feels she can watch her body from above and float on the clouds of euphoria that his touch brings; the absolute abandon he coaxes out of her, one tender kiss at a time, bringing tears to her eyes.
She is kissing him, and then she is alone. Her wrists and ankles tied to the four corners of a tiny bed in a dingy room, she whimpers, she screams but no one answers. She is cold, but she cannot reach down to move the flimsy sheet that is crumpled beside her to cover her body. She feels panic rise up inside her, feels helplessness as if she never escaped this dark place. She can't go back, won't go back, he is dead...isn't he...NO don't touch me!
Emily has come for a visit, she has opened doors and windows on a time best forgotten. She can't let the past die in peace, can't go unavenged. She wants payback. She wants to be recognized and put to rest with dignity. She doesn't want to die in this cold and lonely place, deserted and forgotten. She is still here inside, deep within the locked compartments of Amber's mind. "Let Me Go"... she screams, and James, startled tries to put his arm around her.
The breath catches sharp in Amber’s chest, she pulls away from him attempting to get herself together. She feels the blood running down her lip where she has bitten it.. hard. Amber takes only a moment to regain her composure.
"Sorry," she says, "memories sometimes come back with a vengeance." Looks like it's going to be a rough night."
"Do you want to talk about it?" he asks, already knowing the answer. This is her demon to fight and she wants to do it quietly. She doesn't want him to know what happened to her before. Nothing exists before she came here, to this place, to this house, where she feels safe and alive and loved. The past is best forgotten.
He holds her close resting on the couch, his mind racing with the possibilities. He knows she has been hurt and her life was difficult before she moved here, but he is only now beginning to realize just how bad things must have been. She seemed so scared, so different for a moment, he barely recognized her. He felt the fear and the tension within her come on like a black wave, drowning everything in its wake. She was crushed, only for a moment, but she wilted into a puddle of pain and despair. He hoped never to see her in that kind of pain again. He wishes for some way he can help her, get her to open up, but he knows that seems like reliving it again for her, and she isn't ready for that. So tentatively he respects her process, waiting until she willingly lets him help her. For now all he can do is love her. He doesn't realize just how much he is helping her already.
He thinks maybe it's time to show her the little surprise he's been working on. He's been in there to see the project is complete and spectacular. She is going to lose herself in there. Maybe that is the therapy she needs to set some of her demons free. He has taken the liberty of purchasing some dance clothes for her as well, he knows she doesn't really have much with her. The girl at the store was very helpful and he played it really smart bringing in some of her belongings so her actual sizes could be determined. He is most proud of the stunning red ballet shoes he purchased. She has spoken of her favorite pair from years ago. Dance shoes are nearly as complicated as new cars, they come with all kinds of custom options and if you don't know what you’re doing it can be a very daunting purchase indeed.
"Hey baby," he says.
Hmm… she answers, her emotions very heightened and her mood introverted. He's not completely sure whether its the right time, or the worst possible time, but he decides he has to try. If anything can take her mind off her troubles and focus her on the good things again, he thinks this might be it.
He takes her hand and says, "I have to show you something"!
"OK," she says following without resistance, but with no enthusiasm. He pushes open the door to the studio as she stares open mouthed and completely in shock.
"How did you do this? " She rushes into the room, the smile growing from inside of her spreading warmth throughout the room. Thank goodness he guessed right, this was the perfect remedy for her heart, at least for the moment.
He walks her around the room demonstrating the features, the remote driven stereo equipment, the cameras, the lights, the entire room is set up to provide the utmost in convenience and atmosphere. "You will feel like you're is on a professional stage at every practice." He shows her the hidden closet and the clothes he has already purchased for her.
"There’s plenty of room in here for you to acquire quite a few costumes. I know you said you want to start teaching again and this will give you everything you need. I had them set up multi-level bars so you can adjust it for each student. You already have a subscription to satellite radio in here and this iPad has an iTunes account ready for you with more credit than you will ever possibly use. We can fi
nd all your favorite music and create playlists for you to practice to."
Amber begins to cry, the tears pouring down her face a sharp contrast to the glowing smile on her face. She is literally speechless.
"The only catch is I get to see you dance sometime," he says, as she just jumps on him, practically knocking him over with a huge hug. She goes right for the box with the red pointe shoes her eyes beaming. She slowly wraps the ribbons up her ankles and is surprised even more to find they fit perfectly.
"How did you do all this?" she asks again. She can't believe she didn't known, or that he had accomplished this. The whole thing is the most wonderful and unbelievable surprise ever. She can't believe anyone would take this much time, money or effort to do something so special just for her. He must truly love her. The entire concept of love at this kind of level takes her off guard. She is a puddle of putty in his hands, thank God his hands are gentle and have artist’s intentions. He sees what she can be within, and wants to coax it out of her. Hopefully he knows what he is getting into, she's afraid of what's inside her.
He has purchased some stunning dance prints, with beautiful reds and oranges and a completely impressionistic take on some of the more popular dance styles. Looking at those paintings she feels like that, a blurry and cryptic representation of something spectacular. The eye can see what it should be, when it's given the time to view each one closely. Her entire life has become a swirling hurricane of beautiful and wonderful things, surrounded by dark and mysterious areas of unknown dangers and enemies, an abstraction. Her world is a theatrical production, she has a challenge to face, plenty enough conflict to suite any style and now she is waiting for whatever terrifying climax and resolution are waiting to play out. She only hopes her story is not a tragedy, she is hoping for her happily ever after. James gives her space as she stares at the stunning red shoes on her feet. He can't quite read her expression.
Surprise and Exertion
Amber dresses in one of the perfectly chosen practice outfits, she is amazed at every turn how thorough he has been in creating her world. She loves the smoothness of the floors and the polished surface that has the proper wax treatment to keep her from slipping. These are actual studio floors, every material he used was chosen to accommodate professional dance. The walls are soundproofed behind the mirrors and the mirrors are seamless. She can't even figure out how they managed to get them into the room. She is breathless when she turns on the music. She doesn't know where to begin, so she pulls up a band that usually inspires her. Pandora offers her the ability to create special radio stations with no commercials based on her favorite types of music. She tries this first.
Enigma gives her the perfect warm-up music and she dims the lights to accommodate a relaxation type work-out. She tells him she doesn't mind him watching, if he wants to stay. He wouldn't miss this for the world. She sits down on the floor beginning with some stretching. She claims she is just going to hit a light stress release warm-up. She doesn't want to hurt herself since it's been a while. She is extremely excited at the prospect of teaching classes again. James even thought to put whiteboards under the sound equipment, providing her six clean spaces to plan choreography, shows, and schedule appointments. He has truly given her everything she could ever desire and so much more. Had she told him this much detail? or had he figured this out all on his own? He had told her he would try everyday to make her happy and this is an impressive start.
She begins testing out the floor, taking some simple spins and working some arch into her shoes. They are new and unbroken so she won't be working them hard tonight. He has even provided her with a variety of options for her shoes. There is a clever and fantastic basket of sewing implements, shoe treatment tools and lighters with a big red bow. James explains this is a gift that isn't from him. Someone around here knows dance and prepared James well.
She has to ask him, "Who helped you with all of this stuff? and since i'm sure the answer is the same. Who is this adorable basket from? I need to know who to thank."
He laughs, "I took a photo of you and some of your stuff in to the local dance shop, the woman there is really great, she says she can tell by your musculature and build what style of dance you work at the most and she gave me a complete list of goodies! She says you are beautiful by the way."
She seems really happy you are thinking about going into teaching, she said you must have fantastic form due to your perfect muscle alignment. I just nodded and told her that you are perfect in every way. She seems to think I am either funny, dumb or both, I’m not sure which. She says she will gladly advertise for you in her shop. We’ll have to make up some signs and business cards. I can just see you in here with a group of tiny pink tutu girls bouncing up and down on their little toes. You have to admit it is kind of a cute picture.
"I actually prefer to work with older girls, "Amber says with a crinkled nose. "Little ones make me nervous."
She obviously approves of the studio, and the music soon sweeps her into silence. She dances beautifully, her body becoming a part of the music, her every movement completing the phrasing with subtlety and breathless anticipation. He feels as if he's watching something far too intimate to be shared and his breathing becomes painful as he tries to silence it. He doesn't want to detract from the perfection of the moment.
She is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen and he's painfully aware he is deeply in love with her. He would gladly watch her move like this for hours, he could die sitting here and not regret a single moment. The music slows and she begins some more sustained strength ballet movements he feels the tension building. The power within her movements restrained just enough to create the magic that is ballet. Amber is soft and feminine with an overtone of strength and balance creating the illusion she is something more than human.
But then he realizes she is more than human. He accepts in that moment she has always been something more than an everyday woman, and perhaps this is why he is so drawn to her. She holds a power as ancient as humanity itself, and yet she suffers and cries, perhaps even more than most. She has no desire to use what she knows of her gift to dominate, control or otherwise manipulate her situation. She is purely and genuinely passionate about remaining as normal as possible. She only wants to live the best life she can, to help others and to enjoy the simple things. She needs protection and support despite being so powerful.
She begins to tire, as she takes to the bar to stretch. Her body still tight from so many weeks of little use. She has no excuse not to stay up on it daily now, and makes the agreement with herself to do just that. She will dance every morning before work, and when she feels ready, she will take on some students. She will teach just a bit, around five hours a week to start and work her way up as she becomes stronger and more fit again. He has saved the funnest surprise for last.
"Amber, I have one more surprise for you... Remember you were talking about how much fun pole dancing is, and how you wished that it could be done somewhere outside of the clubs. Well... I have installed some spinner poles for you. The ceiling panels will slide out of the way when you push this button and the poles are stacked in the closet over there, all you have to do is pop them in place. You can have private lessons in here for that art as well. Or you can just dance for me... you know I really didn't spend enough time at those places when I was younger." She smacks him on the arm and they both laugh. She is drenched in sweat so she is by no means in a state to play with it, but she is truly thrilled with the prospect of having such a fun and original option for her students. It opens up a world of possibilities.
Someday maybe we can get you a studio downtown, maybe near Rissa's place so you can stay near the shop. He laughs, Again I am presuming we're com going to be a couple and the future is ours together. Sorry, I can't help it, there doesn't seem to be any other possibilities. She hugs him, laughing as he realizes just how sweaty she is. "Gross, girl; we better get you in the shower"!
Her moods been lifted and she's feeling sore and
happy. The blast from the past is fading back into the locked compartments of her mind. She jumps in the shower and the water feels like heaven, the warmth enveloping her and filling her with memories. She loves to dance, it's her escape, her only hiding place where no one can pull her out from within herself. She can work through her problems creating blisters on her feet and taking herself to complete muscle failure. She welcomes the pain and the sweat, for the exhilaration that comes of it is well worth the discomfort. She is truly happy, he has done something immeasurable for her, and she will not soon forget this gesture.
He watches her shower, feeling satisfied with his move. He hasn't only made her smile, she radiates with happiness. She leaves the pain and suffering behind and escapes into the wonderful world he has created just for her. He feels exhilarated watching her and knows that for once in his life, he got it completely and undeniably perfectly right. He managed to provide her with a dream come true, he listened and planned and turned every detain into a reality completely for her. He feels like her Prince Charming. As she is finishing up her shower, he goes to the kitchen and pours her a glass of pineapple coconut milk to replenish her electrolytes. Another fantastic suggestion from the dancing lady. He doesn't want her to cramp up from the unexpected work-out.
Awakening - Book of Fire (Blood Heritage) Page 26