The Arden Shakespeare Complete Works
Page 69
Buckles in his sum of age.
Some of violated vows,
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’Twixt the souls of friend and friend.
But upon the fairest boughs,
Or at every sentence end,
Will I Rosalinda write,
Teaching all that read to know
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The quintessence of every sprite
Heaven would in little show.
Therefore Heaven Nature charg’d
That one body should be fill’d
With all graces wide-enlarg’d.
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Nature presently distill’d
Helen’s cheek, but not her heart,
Cleopatra’s majesty,
Atalanta’s better part,
Sad Lucretia’s modesty.
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Thus Rosalind of many parts
By heavenly synod was devis’d,
Of many faces, eyes, and hearts,
To have the touches dearest priz’d.
Heaven would that she these gifts should have,
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And I to live and die her slave.
ROSALIND O most gentle Jupiter, what tedious homily
of love have you wearied your parishioners withal, and
never cried, ‘Have patience good people!’
CELIA How now? Back-friends! Shepherd, go off a
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little. Go with him sirrah.
TOUCHSTONE Come shepherd, let us make an
honourable retreat, though not with bag and baggage,
yet with scrip and scrippage. Exit with Corin.
CELIA Didst thou hear these verses?
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ROSALIND O yes, I heard them all, and more too, for
some of them had in them more feet than the verses
would bear.
CELIA That’s no matter: the feet might bear the verses.
ROSALIND Ay, but the feet were lame, and could not
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bear themselves without the verse, and therefore stood
lamely in the verse.
CELIA But didst thou hear without wondering how thy
name should be hanged and carved upon these
trees?
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ROSALIND I was seven of the nine days out of the
wonder before you came; for look here what I found
on a palm-tree. I was never so berhymed since
Pythagoras’ time that I was an Irish rat, which I can
hardly remember.
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CELIA Trow you who hath done this?
ROSALIND Is it a man?
CELIA And a chain, that you once wore, about his neck.
Change you colour?
ROSALIND I prithee who?
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CELIA O Lord, Lord! It is a hard matter for friends to
meet; but mountains may be remov’d with
earthquakes, and so encounter.
ROSALIND Nay, but who is it?
CELIA Is it possible?
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ROSALIND Nay, I prithee now, with most petitionary
vehemence, tell me who it is.
CELIA O wonderful, wonderful! And most wonderful
wonderful! And yet again wonderful! And after that
out of all whooping.
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ROSALIND Good my complexion! Dost thou think
though I am caparisoned like a man I have a doublet
and hose in my disposition? One inch of delay more is
a South Sea of discovery. I prithee tell me who is it
quickly, and speak apace. I would thou couldst
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stammer, that thou mightst pour this concealed man
out of thy mouth, as wine comes out of a narrow-
mouthed bottle; either too much at once or none at all.
I prithee take the cork out of thy mouth, that I may
drink thy tidings.
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CELIA So you may put a man in your belly.
ROSALIND Is he of God’s making? What manner of
man? Is his head worth a hat? Or his chin worth a
beard?
CELIA Nay, he hath but a little beard.
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ROSALIND Why God will send more, if the man will be
thankful. Let me stay the growth of his beard, if thou
delay me not the knowledge of his chin.
CELIA It is young Orlando, that tripped up the
wrestler’s heels and your heart, both in an instant.
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ROSALIND Nay, but the devil take mocking. Speak sad
brow and true maid.
CELIA I’faith, coz, ’tis he.
ROSALIND Orlando?
CELIA Orlando.
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ROSALIND Alas the day, what shall I do with my doublet
and hose? What did he when thou saw’st him? What
said he? How looked he? Wherein went he? What
makes he here? Did he ask for me? Where remains he?
How parted he with thee? And when shalt thou see
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him again? Answer me in one word.
CELIA You must borrow me Gargantua’s mouth first.
’Tis a word too great for any mouth of this age’s size.
To say ay and no to these particulars is more than to
answer in a catechism.
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ROSALIND But doth he know that I am in this forest,
and in man’s apparel? Looks he as freshly as he did the
day he wrestled?
CELIA It is as easy to count atomies as to resolve the
propositions of a lover. But take a taste of my finding
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him, and relish it with good observance. I found him
under a tree like a dropped acorn.
ROSALIND It may well be called Jove’s tree, when it
drops such fruit.
CELIA Give me audience, good madam.
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ROSALIND Proceed.
CELIA There lay he stretched along like a wounded
knight.
ROSALIND Though it be pity to see such a sight, it well
becomes the ground.
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CELIA Cry holla to the tongue, I prithee; it curvets
unseasonably. He was furnished like a hunter.
ROSALIND O ominous! he comes to kill my heart!
CELIA I would sing my song without a burden. Thou
bringest me out of tune.
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ROSALIND Do you not know I am a woman? When I
think, I must speak. Sweet, say on.
CELIA You bring me out. Soft! comes he not here?
Enter ORLANDO and JAQUES.
ROSALIND ’Tis he. Slink by and note him.
JAQUES I thank you for your company, but good faith, I
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had as lief have been myself alone.
ORLANDO And so had I: but yet for fashion sake I thank
you too, for your society.
JAQUES God buy you: let’s meet as little as we can.
ORLANDO I do desire we may be better strangers.
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JAQUES I pray you mar no more trees with writing
lovesongs in their barks.
ORLANDO I pray you mar no more of my verses with
reading them ill-favouredly.
JAQUES Rosalind is your love’s name?
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ORLANDO Yes, just.
JAQUES I do not like her name.
ORLANDO There was no thought of pleasing you when
she was christened.
JAQUES What stature is she of?
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ORLANDO Just as high as my heart.
JAQUES You are full of pretty answers. Have you not
been acquainted with goldsmiths’ wives, and conned
them out of rings?
ORLANDO Not so; but I answer you right painted
cloth,
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from whence you have studied your questions.
JAQUES You have a nimble wit; I think ’twas made of
Atalanta’s heels. Will you sit down with me and we
two will rail against our mistress the world and all our
misery?
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ORLANDO I will chide no breather in the world but
myself, against whom I know most faults.
JAQUES The worst fault you have is to be in love.
ORLANDO ’Tis a fault I will not change for your best
virtue. I am weary of you.
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JAQUES By my troth, I was seeking for a fool when I
found you.
ORLANDO He is drowned in the brook. Look but in and
you shall see him.
JAQUES There I shall see mine own figure.
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ORLANDO Which I take to be either a fool, or a cipher.
JAQUES I’ll tarry no longer with you. Farewell good
Signior Love.
ORLANDO I am glad of your departure. Adieu good
Monsieur Melancholy. Exit Jaques.
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ROSALIND [aside to Celia] I will speak to him like a saucy
lackey and under that habit play the knave with him. –
Do you hear, forester?
ORLANDO Very well. What would you?
ROSALIND I pray you, what is’t o’clock?
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ORLANDO You should ask me what time o’ day; there’s
no clock in the forest.
ROSALIND Then there is no true lover in the forest, else
sighing every minute and groaning every hour would
detect the lazy foot of Time, as well as a clock.
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ORLANDO And why not the swift foot of Time? Had not
that been as proper?
ROSALIND By no means sir. Time travels in divers paces
with divers persons. I’ll tell you who Time ambles
withal, who Time trots withal, who Time gallops
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withal, and who he stands still withal.
ORLANDO I prithee, who doth he trot withal?
ROSALIND Marry he trots hard with a young maid,
between the contract of her marriage and the day it is
solemnized. If the interim be but a se’nnight, Time’s
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pace is so hard that it seems the length of seven year.
ORLANDO Who ambles Time withal?
ROSALIND With a priest that lacks Latin, and a rich man
that hath not the gout, for the one sleeps easily
because he cannot study, and the other lives merrily
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because he feels no pain; the one lacking the burden
of lean and wasteful learning; the other knowing no
burden of heavy tedious penury. These Time ambles
withal.
ORLANDO Who doth he gallop withal?
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ROSALIND With a thief to the gallows; for though he go
as softly as foot can fall, he thinks himself too soon
there.
ORLANDO Who stays it still withal?
ROSALIND With lawyers in the vacation; for they sleep
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between term and term, and then they perceive not
how Time moves.
ORLANDO Where dwell you pretty youth?
ROSALIND With this shepherdess my sister; here in the
skirts of the forest, like fringe upon a petticoat.
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ORLANDO Are you native of this place?
ROSALIND As the cony that you see dwell where she is
kindled.
ORLANDO Your accent is something finer than you
could purchase in so removed a dwelling.
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ROSALIND I have been told so of many. But indeed, an
old religious uncle of mine taught me to speak, who
was in his youth an inland man, one that knew
courtship too well, for there he fell in love. I have
heard him read many lectures against it, and I thank
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God I am not a woman, to be touched with so many
giddy offences as he hath generally taxed their whole
sex withal.
ORLANDO Can you remember any of the principal evils
that he laid to the charge of women?
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ROSALIND There were none principal: they were all like
one another as half-pence are, every one fault seeming
monstrous, till his fellow-fault came to match it.
ORLANDO I prithee recount some of them.
ROSALIND No; I will not cast away my physic but on
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those that are sick. There is a man haunts the forest
that abuses our young plants with carving ‘Rosalind’