halberds.
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ADRIANA Ay me, it is my husband; witness you
That he is borne about invisible;
Even now we hous’d him in the abbey here,
And now he’s there, past thought of human reason.
Enter ANTIPHOLUS and DROMIO OF EPHESUS.
ANTIPHOLUS E.
Justice, most gracious Duke, O, grant me justice,
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Even for the service that long since I did thee
When I bestrid thee in the wars, and took
Deep scars to save thy life; even for the blood
That then I lost for thee, now grant me justice.
EGEON Unless the fear of death doth make me dote,
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I see my son Antipholus and Dromio.
ANTIPHOLUS E.
Justice, sweet prince, against that woman there –
She whom thou gav’st to me to be my wife;
That hath abused and dishonour’d me,
Even in the strength and height of injury.
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Beyond imagination is the wrong
That she this day hath shameless thrown on me.
DUKE Discover how, and thou shalt find me just.
ANTIPHOLUS E.
This day, great duke, she shut the doors upon me
While she with harlots feasted in my house.
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DUKE A grievous fault: say, woman, didst thou so?
ADRIANA No, my good lord. Myself, he, and my sister
To-day did dine together; so befall my soul
As this is false he burdens me withal.
LUCIANA Ne’er may I look on day, nor sleep on night,
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But she tells to your highness simple truth.
ANGELO [aside]
O perjur’d woman! They are both forsworn,
In this the madman justly chargeth them.
ANTIPHOLUS E.
My liege, I am advised what I say,
Neither disturb’d with the effect of wine,
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Nor heady-rash, provok’d with raging ire,
Albeit my wrongs might make one wiser mad.
This woman lock’d me out this day from dinner;
That goldsmith there, were he not pack’d with her,
Could witness it; for he was with me then,
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Who parted with me to go fetch a chain,
Promising to bring it to the Porpentine,
Where Balthasar and I did dine together.
Our dinner done, and he not coming thither,
I went to seek him. In the street I met him,
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And in his company that gentleman.
There did this perjur’d goldsmith swear me down
That I this day of him receiv’d the chain,
Which, God he knows, I saw not. For the which
He did arrest me with an officer;
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I did obey, and sent my peasant home
For certain ducats; he with none return’d.
Then fairly I bespoke the officer
To go in person with me to my house.
By th’way we met
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My wife, her sister, and a rabble more
Of vile confederates; along with them
They brought one Pinch, a hungry lean-fac’d villain;
A mere anatomy, a mountebank,
A thread-bare juggler and a fortune-teller,
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A needy-hollow-ey’d-sharp-looking-wretch;
A living dead man. This pernicious slave
Forsooth took on him as a conjurer,
And gazing in mine eyes, feeling my pulse,
And with no-face (as ’twere) out-facing me,
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Cries out, I was possess’d. Then all together
They fell upon me, bound me, bore me thence,
And in a dark and dankish vault at home
There left me and my man, both bound together,
Till gnawing with my teeth my bonds in sunder,
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I gain’d my freedom; and immediately
Ran hither to your grace, whom I beseech
To give me ample satisfaction
For these deep shames and great indignities.
ANGELO
My lord, in truth, thus far I witness with him,
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That he din’d not at home, but was lock’d out.
DUKE But had he such a chain of thee, or no?
ANGELO He had, my lord, and when he ran in here
These people saw the chain about his neck.
2 MERCHANT
Besides, I will be sworn these ears of mine
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Heard you confess you had the chain of him,
After you first forswore it on the mart,
And thereupon I drew my sword on you;
And then you fled into this abbey here,
From whence I think you are come by miracle.
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ANTIPHOLUS E.
I never came within these abbey walls,
Nor ever didst thou draw thy sword on me;
I never saw the chain, so help me heaven;
And this is false you burden me withal.
DUKE Why, what an intricate impeach is this?
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I think you all have drunk of Circe’s cup:
If here you hous’d him, here he would have been;
If he were mad, he would not plead so coldly.
You say he din’d at home, the goldsmith here
Denies that saying. Sirrah, what say you?
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DROMIO E.
Sir, he din’d with her there, at the Porpentine.
COURTESAN
He did, and from my finger snatch’d that ring.
ANTIPHOLUS E.
’Tis true, my liege, this ring I had of her.
DUKE Saw’st thou him enter at the abbey here?
COURTESAN As sure, my liege, as I do see your grace.
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DUKE Why, this is strange: go, call the abbess hither.
I think you are all mated, or stark mad.
Exit one to the Abbess.
EGEON Most mighty duke, vouchsafe me speak a word;
Haply I see a friend will save my life,
And pay the sum that may deliver me.
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DUKE Speak freely, Syracusian, what thou wilt.
EGEON Is not your name, sir, call’d Antipholus?
And is not that your bondman Dromio?
DROMIO E.
Within this hour I was his bondman, sir,
But he, I thank him, gnaw’d in two my cords;
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Now I am Dromio, and his man, unbound.
EGEON I am sure you both of you remember me.
DROMIO E. Ourselves we do remember, sir, by you.
For lately we were bound as you are now.
You are not Pinch’s patient, are you sir?
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EGEON
Why look you strange on me? you know me well.
ANTIPHOLUS E.
I never saw you in my life till now.
EGEON
O! grief hath chang’d me since you saw me last,
And careful hours with time’s deformed hand
Have written strange defeatures in my face;
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But tell me yet, dost thou not know my voice?
ANTIPHOLUS E. Neither.
EGEON Dromio, nor thou?
DROMIO E. No, trust me sir, nor I.
EGEON I am sure thou dost?
DROMIO E. Ay sir, but I am sure I do not, and
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whatsoever a man denies, you are bound to believe
him.
EGEON Not know my voice? O time’s extremity,
Hast thou so crack’d and splitted my poor tongue
In seven short years, that here my only son
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> Knows not my feeble key of untun’d cares?
Though now this grained face of mine be hid
In sap-consuming winter’s drizzled snow,
And all the conduits of my blood froze up,
Yet hath my night of life some memory;
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My wasting lamps some fading glimmer left;
My dull deaf ears a little use to hear –
All these old witnesses, I cannot err,
Tell me thou art my son Antipholus.
ANTIPHOLUS E. I never saw my father in my life.
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EGEON But seven years since, in Syracusa, boy,
Thou know’st we parted, but perhaps, my son,
Thou sham’st to acknowledge me in misery.
ANTIPHOLUS E.
The duke, and all that know me in the city,
Can witness with me that it is not so.
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I ne’er saw Syracusa in my life.
DUKE I tell thee Syracusian, twenty years
Have I been patron to Antipholus,
During which time he ne’er saw Syracusa.
I see thy age and dangers make thee dote.
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Enter EMILIA the ABBESS with ANTIPHOLUS and DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.
ABBESS
Most mighty duke, behold a man much wrong’d.
[All gather to see them.]
ADRIANA I see two husbands, or mine eyes deceive me.
DUKE One of these men is genius to the other;
And so of these, which is the natural man,
And which the spirit? Who deciphers them?
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DROMIO S. I, sir, am Dromio, command him away.
DROMIO E. I, sir, am Dromio, pray let me stay.
ANTIPHOLUS S. Egeon art thou not? or else his ghost.
DROMIO S.
O, my old master, who hath bound him here?
ABBESS Whoever bound him, I will loose his bonds,
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And gain a husband by his liberty.
Speak old Egeon, if thou be’st the man
That hadst a wife once call’d Emilia,
That bore thee at a burden two fair sons?
O, if thou be’st the same Egeon, speak –
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And speak unto the same Emilia.
DUKE Why, here begins his morning story right:
These two Antipholus’, these two so like,
And these two Dromios, one in semblance,
Besides her urging of her wrack at sea.
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These are the parents to these children,
Which accidentally are met together.
EGEON If I dream not, thou art Emilia;
If thou art she, tell me, where is that son
That floated with thee on the fatal raft?
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ABBESS By men of Epidamnum, he and I
And the twin Dromio, all were taken up;
But by and by, rude fishermen of Corinth
By force took Dromio and my son from them,
And me they left with those of Epidamnum.
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What then became of them I cannot tell;
I, to this fortune that you see me in.
DUKE Antipholus, thou cam’st from Corinth first.
ANTIPHOLUS S. No, sir, not I, I came from Syracuse.
DUKE Stay, stand apart, I know not which is which.
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ANTIPHOLUS E.
I came from Corinth, my most gracious lord.
DROMIO E. And I with him.
ANTIPHOLUS E.
Brought to this town by that most famous warrior,
Duke Menaphon, your most renowned uncle.
ADRIANA Which of you two did dine with me to-day?
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ANTIPHOLUS S. I, gentle mistress.
ADRIANA And are you not my husband?
ANTIPHOLUS E. No, I say nay to that.
ANTIPHOLUS S. And so do I, yet did she call me so;
And this fair gentlewoman, her sister here,
Did call me brother.
[to Luciana] What I told you then,
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I hope I shall have leisure to make good,
If this be not a dream I see and hear.
ANGELO That is the chain, sir, which you had of me.
ANTIPHOLUS S. I think it be, sir, I deny it not.
ANTIPHOLUS E.
And you, sir, for this chain arrested me.
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ANGELO I think I did, sir, I deny it not.
ADRIANA I sent you money, sir, to be your bail
By Dromio, but I think he brought it not.
DROMIO E. No, none by me.
ANTIPHOLUS S.
This purse of ducats I receiv’d from you,
The Arden Shakespeare Complete Works Page 84