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That all the courts of France shall be disturbed
With chases. And we understand him well,
How he comes o’er us with our wilder days,
Not measuring what use we made of them.
We never valued this poor seat of England,
270
And therefore living hence did give ourself
To barbarous licence, as ’tis ever common
That men are merriest when they are from home.
But tell the Dauphin I will keep my state,
Be like a king and show my sail of greatness,
275
When I do rouse me in my throne of France.
For that have I laid by my majesty
And plodded like a man for working-days,
But I will rise there with so full a glory
That I will dazzle all the eyes of France,
280
Yea, strike the Dauphin blind to look on us.
And tell the pleasant Prince this mock of his
Hath turned his balls to gun-stones, and his soul
Shall stand sore charged for the wasteful vengeance
That shall fly with them; for many a thousand widows
285
Shall this his mock mock out of their dear husbands,
Mock mothers from their sons, mock castles down,
And some are yet ungotten and unborn
That shall have cause to curse the Dauphin’s scorn.
But this lies all within the will of God,
290
To whom I do appeal, and in whose name
Tell you the Dauphin I am coming on
To venge me as I may, and to put forth
My rightful hand in a well-hallowed cause.
So get you hence in peace. And tell the Dauphin
295
His jest will savour but of shallow wit
When thousands weep more than did laugh at it. –
Convey them with safe conduct. – Fare you well.
Exeunt Ambassadors and attendants.
EXETER This was a merry message.
KING We hope to make the sender blush at it.
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Therefore, my lords, omit no happy hour
That may give furtherance to our expedition,
For we have now no thought in us but France,
Save those to God that run before our business.
Therefore let our proportions for these wars
305
Be soon collected and all things thought upon
That may with reasonable swiftness add
More feathers to our wings, for, God before,
We’ll chide this Dauphin at his father’s door.
Therefore let every man now task his thought,
310
That this fair action may on foot be brought.
Flourish. Exeunt.
2.0 Enter CHORUS.
CHORUS Now all the youth of England are on fire,
And silken dalliance in the wardrobe lies.
Now thrive the armourers, and honour’s thought
Reigns solely in the breast of every man.
They sell the pasture now to buy the horse,
5
Following the mirror of all Christian kings
With winged heels, as English Mercuries.
For now sits expectation in the air
And hides a sword from hilts unto the point
With crowns imperial, crowns and coronets,
10
Promised to Harry and his followers.
The French, advised by good intelligence
Of this most dreadful preparation,
Shake in their fear, and with pale policy
Seek to divert the English purposes.
15
O England, model to thy inward greatness,
Like little body with a mighty heart,
What mightst thou do, that honour would thee do,
Were all thy children kind and natural!
But see, thy fault France hath in thee found out,
20
A nest of hollow bosoms, which he fills
With treacherous crowns; and three corrupted men,
One, Richard Earl of Cambridge, and the second,
Henry Lord Scroop of Masham, and the third,
Sir Thomas Grey, knight, of Northumberland,
25
Have, for the gilt of France, – O guilt indeed! –
Confirmed conspiracy with fearful France,
And by their hands this grace of kings must die,
If hell and treason hold their promises,
Ere he take ship for France, and in Southampton.
30
Linger your patience on and well digest
Th’abuse of distance, and we’ll force our play.
The sum is paid, the traitors are agreed,
The King is set from London, and the scene
Is now transported, gentles, to Southampton.
35
There is the playhouse now, there must you sit,
And thence to France shall we convey you safe
And bring you back, charming the narrow seas
To give you gentle pass; for if we may,
We’ll not offend one stomach with our play.
40
But till the King come forth and not till then
Unto Southampton do we shift our scene. Exit.
2.1 Enter Corporal NYM and Lieutenant BARDOLPH, meeting.
BARDOLPH Well met, Corporal Nym.
NYM Good morrow, Lieutenant Bardolph.
BARDOLPH
What, are Ancient Pistol and you friends yet?
NYM For my part I care not. I say little; but when time
shall serve there shall be smiles; but that shall be as it
5
may. I dare not fight, but I will wink and hold out mine
iron. It is a simple one, but what though? It will toast
cheese, and it will endure cold as another man’s sword
will, and there’s an end.
BARDOLPH I will bestow a breakfast to make you
10
friends, and we’ll be all three sworn brothers to
France. Let’t be so, good Corporal Nym.
NYM Faith, I will live so long as I may, that’s the certain
of it, and when I cannot live any longer, I will do as I
may. That is my rest, that is the rendezvous of it.
15
BARDOLPH It is certain, Corporal, that he is married to
Nell Quickly, and certainly she did you wrong, for you
were troth-plight to her.
NYM I cannot tell. Things must be as they may. Men
may sleep, and they may have their throats about them
20
at that time, and some say knives have edges. It must
be as it may. Though patience be a tired mare, yet she
will plod. There must be conclusions. Well, I cannot
tell.
Enter PISTOL and Hostess.
BARDOLPH Here comes Ancient Pistol and his wife.
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Good Corporal, be patient here.
NYM How now, mine host Pistol?
PISTOL Base tyke, call’st thou me host?
Now by this hand I swear I scorn the term;
Nor shall my Nell keep lodgers.
30
HOSTESS No, by my troth, not long. For we cannot
lodge and board a dozen or fourteen gentlewomen that
live honestly by the prick of their needles but it will be
thought we keep a bawdy-house straight. [Nym draws
his sword.] O well-a-day, Lady, if he be not drawn!
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Now we shall see wilful adultery and murder
committed. [Pistol draws his sword.]
BARDOLPH
Good Lieutenant, good Corporal, offer nothing here.
NYM Pish!
PISTOL Pish for thee, Iceland dog, thou
prick-eared cur
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of Iceland!
HOSTESS Good Corporal Nym, show thy valour and
put up your sword. [Nym and Pistol sheathe their swords]
NYM [to Pistol] Will you shog off? I would have you
solus.
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PISTOL Solus, egregious dog? O viper vile!
The solus in thy most marvailous face,
The solus in thy teeth, and in thy throat,
And in thy hateful lungs, yea, in thy maw, perdy,
And, which is worse, within thy nasty mouth!
50
I do retort the solus in thy bowels,
For I can take, and Pistol’s cock is up,
And flashing fire will follow.
NYM I am not Barbason, you cannot conjure me. I have
an humour to knock you indifferently well. If you
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grow foul with me, Pistol, I will scour you with my
rapier, as I may, in fair terms. If you would walk off, I
would prick your guts a little, in good terms, as I may,
and that’s the humour of it.
PISTOL O braggart vile and damned furious wight,
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The grave doth gape, and doting death is near;
Therefore exhale. [Pistol and Nym draw their swords.]
BARDOLPH [Draws his sword.] Hear me, hear me what I
say. He that strikes the first stroke, I’ll run him up to
the hilts, as I am a soldier.
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PISTOL An oath of mickle might, and fury shall abate.
[All sheathe their swords.]
Give me thy fist, thy fore-foot to me give.
Thy spirits are most tall.
NYM I will cut thy throat one time or other, in fair
terms, that is the humour of it.
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PISTOL ‘Couple a gorge’!
That is the word. I thee defy again.
O hound of Crete, think’st thou my spouse to get?
No, to the spital go,
And from the powdering-tub of infamy
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Fetch forth the lazar kite of Cressid’s kind,
Doll Tearsheet she by name, and her espouse.
I have and I will hold the quondam Quickly
For the only she; and pauca, there’s enough.
Go to.
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Enter the Boy.
BOY Mine host Pistol, you must come to my master, and
you, hostess. He is very sick and would to bed. Good
Bardolph, put thy face between his sheets and do the
office of a warming-pan. Faith, he’s very ill.
BARDOLPH Away, you rogue!
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HOSTESS By my troth, he’ll yield the crow a pudding
one of these days. The King has killed his heart. Good
husband, come home presently.
Exeunt Hostess and Boy.
BARDOLPH Come, shall I make you two friends? We
must to France together. Why the devil should we
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keep knives to cut one another’s throats?
PISTOL
Let floods o’erswell and fiends for food howl on!
NYM You’ll pay me the eight shillings I won of you at
betting?
PISTOL Base is the slave that pays.
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NYM That now I will have; that’s the humour of it.
PISTOL As manhood shall compound: push home! [Pistol
and Nym draw their swords.]
BARDOLPH [Draws his sword.] By this sword, he that
makes the first thrust, I’ll kill him. By this sword, I
will.
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PISTOL
Sword is an oath, and oaths must have their course.
[He sheathes his sword.]
BARDOLPH Corporal Nym, an thou wilt be friends, be
friends. An thou wilt not, why then, be enemies with
me too. Prithee, put up.
NYM I shall have my eight shillings?
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PISTOL A noble shalt thou have, and present pay,
And liquor likewise will I give to thee,
And friendship shall combine and brotherhood.
I’ll live by Nym and Nym shall live by me.
Is not this just? For I shall sutler be
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Unto the camp, and profits will accrue.
Give me thy hand.
NYM I shall have my noble?
PISTOL In cash, most justly paid.
NYM Well, then, that’s the humour of ’t. [Nym and
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Bardolph sheathe their swords. Pistol and Nym shake
hands.]
Enter Hostess.
HOSTESS As ever you come of women, come in quickly
to Sir John. Ah, poor heart, he is so shaked of a
burning quotidian tertian that it is most lamentable to
The Arden Shakespeare Complete Works Page 186