Gold cannot come amiss, were she a devil.
Yet have I gold flies from another coast:
I dare not say from the rich Cardinal
And from the great and new-made Duke of Suffolk,
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Yet I do find it so. For, to be plain,
They, knowing Dame Eleanor’s aspiring humour,
Have hired me to undermine the Duchess
And buzz these conjurations in her brain.
They say ‘A crafty knave does need no broker’,
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Yet am I Suffolk and the Cardinal’s broker.
Hume, if you take not heed, you shall go near
To call them both a pair of crafty knaves.
Well, so it stands; and thus, I fear, at last
Hume’s knavery will be the Duchess’ wrack,
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And her attainture will be Humphrey’s fall.
Sort how it will, I shall have gold for all. Exit.
1.3 Enter three or four Petitioners, PETER the armourer’s man being one.
1 PETITIONER My masters, let’s stand close. My Lord
Protector will come this way by and by, and then we
may deliver our supplications in the quill.
2 PETITIONER Marry, the Lord protect him, for he’s a
good man, Jesu bless him.
5
Enter SUFFOLK and QUEEN.
1 PETITIONER Here ’a comes, methinks, and the Queen
with him. I’ll be the first, sure.
2 PETITIONER Come back, fool! This is the Duke of
Suffolk, and not my Lord Protector.
SUFFOLK How now, fellow; wouldst anything with me?
10
1 PETITIONER I pray, my lord, pardon me, I took ye for
my Lord Protector.
QUEEN ‘For my Lord Protector’? Are your
supplications to his lordship? Let me see them.
[Takes First Petitioner’s supplication.] What is thine?
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1 PETITIONER Mine is, an’t please your grace, against
John Goodman, my Lord Cardinal’s man, for keeping
my house and lands and wife and all from me.
SUFFOLK Thy wife too! That’s some wrong indeed. –
What’s yours? What’s here! [Reads.] Against the Duke
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of Suffolk, for enclosing the commons of Melford. How
now, sir knave!
2 PETITIONER Alas, sir, I am but a poor petitioner of our
whole township.
PETER [Offers his petition.] Against my master Thomas
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Horner, for saying that the Duke of York was rightful
heir to the crown.
QUEEN What sayst thou? Did the Duke of York say he
was rightful heir to the crown?
PETER That my master was? No, forsooth, my master
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said that he was, and that the King was an usurer.
QUEEN An usurper thou wouldst say.
PETER Ay, forsooth, an usurper.
SUFFOLK Who is there? [Snatches Peter’s supplication.]
Enter servant.
Take this fellow in, and send for his master with a
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pursuivant presently. – We’ll hear more of your matter
before the King. Exit servant with Peter.
QUEEN And as for you, that love to be protected
Under the wings of our Protector’s grace,
Begin your suits anew, and sue to him.
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[Tears the supplication.]
Away, base cullions! Suffolk, let them go.
ALL PETITIONERS Come, let’s be gone. Exeunt.
QUEEN My Lord of Suffolk, say, is this the guise,
Is this the fashions in the court of England?
Is this the government of Britain’s isle,
45
And this the royalty of Albion’s king?
What, shall King Henry be a pupil still
Under the surly Gloucester’s governance?
Am I a queen in title and in style
And must be made a subject to a duke?
50
I tell thee, Pole, when in the city Tours
Thou ran’st a-tilt in honour of my love
And stol’st away the ladies’ hearts of France,
I thought King Henry had resembled thee
In courage, courtship and proportion.
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But all his mind is bent to holiness,
To number Ave-Maries on his beads.
His champions are the prophets and apostles,
His weapons, holy saws of sacred writ;
His study is his tilt-yard, and his loves
60
Are brazen images of canonized saints.
I would the college of the cardinals
Would choose him Pope, and carry him to Rome
And set the triple crown upon his head:
That were a state fit for his Holiness.
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SUFFOLK Madam, be patient. As I was cause
Your highness came to England, so will I
In England work your grace’s full content.
QUEEN Beside the haughty Protector have we Beaufort,
The imperious churchman, Somerset, Buckingham
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And grumbling York; and not the least of these
But can do more in England than the King.
SUFFOLK And he of these that can do most of all
Cannot do more in England than the Nevilles:
Salisbury and Warwick are no simple peers.
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QUEEN Not all these lords do vex me half so much
As that proud dame, the Lord Protector’s wife.
She sweeps it through the court with troops of ladies,
More like an empress than Duke Humphrey’s wife.
Strangers in court do take her for the Queen.
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She bears a duke’s revenues on her back
And in her heart she scorns our poverty.
Shall I not live to be avenged on her?
Contemptuous base-born callet as she is,
She vaunted ’mongst her minions t’other day
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The very train of her worst wearing gown
Was better worth than all my father’s lands,
Till Suffolk gave two dukedoms for his daughter.
SUFFOLK Madam, myself have limed a bush for her
And placed a choir of such enticing birds
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That she will light to listen to the lays
And never mount to trouble you again.
So let her rest; and, madam, list to me –
For I am bold to counsel you in this –
Although we fancy not the Cardinal,
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Yet must we join with him and with the lords
Till we have brought Duke Humphrey in disgrace.
As for the Duke of York, this late complaint
Will make but little for his benefit.
So one by one we’ll weed them all at last,
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And you yourself shall steer the happy helm.
Sound a sennet. Enter the KING, GLOUCESTER, CARDINAL Beaufort, BUCKINGHAM, YORK, SALISBURY, WARWICK and ELEANOR.
KING For my part, noble lords, I care not which;
Or Somerset, or York, all’s one to me.
YORK If York have ill demeaned himself in France,
Then let him be denied the regentship.
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SOMERSET If Somerset be unworthy of the place,
Let York be regent; I will yield to him.
WARWICK Whether your Grace be worthy, yea or no,
Dispute not that; York is the worthier.
CARDINAL Ambitious Warwick, let thy betters speak.
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WARWICK The Cardinal’s not my better in the field.
BUCKINGHAM
All
in this presence are thy betters, Warwick.
WARWICK Warwick may live to be the best of all.
SALISBURY
Peace, son! – And show some reason, Buckingham,
Why Somerset should be preferred in this.
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QUEEN Because the King, forsooth, will have it so.
GLOUCESTER Madam, the King is old enough himself
To give his censure. These are no women’s matters.
QUEEN If he be old enough, what needs your grace
To be Protector of his excellence?
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GLOUCESTER Madam, I am Protector of the realm,
And at his pleasure will resign my place.
SUFFOLK Resign it then, and leave thine insolence.
Since thou wert king – as who is king but thou? –
The commonwealth hath daily run to wrack,
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The Dauphin hath prevailed beyond the seas,
And all the peers and nobles of the realm
Have been as bondmen to thy sovereignty.
CARDINAL
The commons hast thou racked; the clergy’s bags
Are lank and lean with thy extortions.
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SOMERSET
Thy sumptuous buildings and thy wife’s attire
Have cost a mass of public treasury.
BUCKINGHAM Thy cruelty in execution
Upon offenders hath exceeded law,
And left thee to the mercy of the law.
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QUEEN Thy sale of offices and towns in France,
If they were known, as the suspect is great,
Would make thee quickly hop without thy head.
Exit Gloucester.
[The Queen drops her fan.]
Give me my fan. What, minion! Can ye not?
[She gives Eleanor a box on the ear.]
I cry you mercy, madam; was it you?
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ELEANOR Was’t I! Yea, I it was, proud Frenchwoman.
Could I come near your beauty with my nails
I’d set my ten commandments in your face.
KING Sweet aunt, be quiet; ’twas against her will.
ELEANOR
Against her will! Good King, look to’t in time;
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She’ll pamper thee, and dandle thee like a baby.
Though in this place most master wear no breeches,
She shall not strike Dame Eleanor unrevenged.
Exit.
BUCKINGHAM Lord Cardinal, I will follow Eleanor,
And listen after Humphrey, how he proceeds.
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She’s tickled now, her fury needs no spurs,
She’ll gallop far enough to her destruction.
Exit.
Enter GLOUCESTER.
GLOUCESTER Now, lords, my choler being overblown
With walking once about the quadrangle,
I come to talk of commonwealth affairs.
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As for your spiteful false objections,
Prove them, and I lie open to the law.
But God in mercy so deal with my soul
As I in duty love my king and country.
But to the matter that we have in hand. –
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I say, my sovereign, York is meetest man
To be your regent in the realm of France.
SUFFOLK Before we make election, give me leave
To show some reason, of no little force,
That York is most unmeet of any man.
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YORK I’ll tell thee, Suffolk, why I am unmeet:
First, for I cannot flatter thee in pride;
Next, if I be appointed for the place
My Lord of Somerset will keep me here
Without discharge, money or furniture,
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Till France be won into the Dauphin’s hands.
Last time I danced attendance on his will
Till Paris was besieged, famished and lost.
WARWICK That can I witness, and a fouler fact
Did never traitor in the land commit.
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SUFFOLK Peace, headstrong Warwick!
WARWICK Image of pride, why should I hold my peace?
Enter HORNER the armourer and his man PETER, guarded.
SUFFOLK Because here is a man accused of treason:
Pray God the Duke of York excuse himself!
YORK Doth anyone accuse York for a traitor?
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KING
What mean’st thou, Suffolk? Tell me, what are these?
SUFFOLK Please it your majesty, this is the man
That doth accuse his master of high treason.
His words were these: that Richard, Duke of York,
Was rightful heir unto the English crown,
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And that your majesty was an usurper.
KING Say, man, were these thy words?
HORNER An’t shall please your majesty, I never said nor
The Arden Shakespeare Complete Works Page 216