I’ve heard him utter to his son-in-law,
Lord Abergavenny, to whom by oath he menaced
Revenge upon the Cardinal.
WOLSEY Please your highness note
His dangerous conception in this point,
Not friended by his wish to your high person;
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His will is most malignant, and it stretches
Beyond you to your friends.
KATHERINE My learned lord Cardinal,
Deliver all with charity.
KING Speak on.
How grounded he his title to the crown
Upon our fail? To this point hast thou heard him
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At any time speak aught?
SURVEYOR He was brought to this
By a vain prophecy of Nicholas Hopkins.
KING What was that Hopkins?
SURVEYOR Sir, a Chartreux friar,
His confessor, who fed him every minute
With words of sovereignty.
KING How knowst thou this?
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SURVEYOR
Not long before your highness sped to France,
The Duke being at the Rose, within the parish
Saint Laurence Pountney, did of me demand
What was the speech among the Londoners
Concerning the French journey. I replied
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Men feared the French would prove perfidious,
To the King’s danger. Presently, the Duke
Said ’twas the fear indeed, and that he doubted
’Twould prove the verity of certain words
Spoke by a holy monk, ‘that oft’, says he,
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‘Hath sent to me, wishing me to permit
John de la Court, my chaplain, a choice hour
To hear from him a matter of some moment;
Whom after, under the confession’s seal,
He solemnly had sworn that what he spoke
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My chaplain to no creature living but
To me should utter, with demure confidence
This pausingly ensued: “Neither the King, nor’s heirs –
Tell you the Duke – shall prosper. Bid him strive
To purchase the love o’th’ commonalty. The Duke
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Shall govern England.” ’
KATHERINE If I know you well,
You were the Duke’s surveyor, and lost your office
On the complaint o’th’ tenants. Take good heed
You charge not in your spleen a noble person
And spoil your nobler soul. I say, take heed –
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Yes, heartily beseech you.
KING Let him on:
[to the Surveyor] Go forward.
SURVEYOR On my soul, I’ll speak but truth.
I told my lord the Duke, by th’ devil’s illusions
The monk might be deceived, and that ’twas dangerous
For him to ruminate on this so far until
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It forged him some design – which, being believed,
It was much like to do. He answered, ‘Tush,
It can do me no damage,’ adding further
That had the King in his last sickness failed,
The Cardinal’s and Sir Thomas Lovell’s heads
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Should have gone off.
KING Ha? What, so rank? Ah, ha!
There’s mischief in this man. Canst thou say further?
SURVEYOR I can, my liege.
KING Proceed.
SURVEYOR Being at Greenwich,
After your highness had reproved the Duke
About Sir William Bulmer –
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KING I remember
Of such a time: being my sworn servant,
The Duke retained him his. But on: what hence?
SURVEYOR
‘If’, quoth he, ‘I for this had been committed’ –
As to the Tower, I thought – ‘I would have played
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The part my father meant to act upon
Th’usurper Richard who, being at Salisbury,
Made suit to come in’s presence; which if granted,
As he made semblance of his duty would
Have put his knife into him.’
KING A giant traitor.
WOLSEY
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Now, madam, may his highness live in freedom
And this man out of prison?
KATHERINE God mend all.
KING
There’s something more would out of thee: what sayst?
SURVEYOR After ‘the Duke his father’, with ‘the knife’,
He stretched him, and with one hand on his dagger,
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Another spread on’s breast, mounting his eyes,
He did discharge a horrible oath, whose tenor
Was, were he evil used, he would outgo
His father by as much as a performance
Does an irresolute purpose.
KING There’s his period:
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To sheathe his knife in us. He is attached;
Call him to present trial. If he may
Find mercy in the law, ’tis his; if none,
Let him not seek’t of us. By day and night,
He’s traitor to th’ height! Exeunt.
1.3 Enter Lord CHAMBERLAIN and Lord SANDYS
CHAMBERLAIN
Is’t possible the spells of France should juggle
Men into such strange mysteries?
SANDYS New customs,
Though they be never so ridiculous –
Nay, let ’em be unmanly – yet are followed.
CHAMBERLAIN
5
As far as I see, all the good our English
Have got by the late voyage is but merely
A fit or two o’th’ face – but they are shrewd ones,
For when they hold ’em you would swear directly
Their very noses had been counsellors
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To Pepin or Clotharius, they keep state so.
SANDYS
They have all new legs, and lame ones. One would take it,
That never see ’em pace before, the spavin
Or springhalt reigned among ’em.
CHAMBERLAIN Death, my lord,
Their clothes are after such a pagan cut to’t,
That sure they’ve worn out Christendom.
Enter Sir Thomas LOVELL.
How now?
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What news, Sir Thomas Lovell?
LOVELL Faith, my lord,
I hear of none but the new proclamation
That’s clapped upon the Court Gate.
CHAMBERLAIN What is’t for?
LOVELL The reformation of our travelled gallants
That fill the court with quarrels, talk and tailors.
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CHAMBERLAIN
I’m glad ’tis there. Now I would pray our monsieurs
To think an English courtier may be wise
And never see the Louvre.
LOVELL They must either,
For so run the conditions, leave those remnants
Of fool and feather that they got in France,
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With all their honourable points of ignorance
Pertaining thereunto – as fights and fireworks;
Abusing better men than they can be
Out of a foreign wisdom – renouncing clean
The faith they have in tennis and tall stockings,
30
Short blistered breeches, and those types of travel,
And understand again like honest men,
Or pack to their old playfellows. There, I take it,
They may, cum privilegio, oui away
The lag end of their lewdness and be laughed at.
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SANDYS ’Tis time to give ’em physic, their diseases
Are grown so catching.
Will have of these trim vanities!
LOVELL Ay, marry,
There will be woe indeed, lords. The sly whoresons
Have got a speeding trick to lay down ladies:
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A French song and a fiddle has no fellow.
SANDYS The devil fiddle ’em! I am glad they are going,
For sure there’s no converting of ’em. Now
An honest country lord, as I am, beaten
A long time out of play, may bring his plainsong
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And have an hour of hearing, and, by’r Lady,
Held current music too.
CHAMBERLAIN Well said, Lord Sandys.
Your colt’s tooth is not cast yet?
SANDYS No, my lord,
Nor shall not while I have a stump.
CHAMBERLAIN Sir Thomas,
Whither were you a-going?
LOVELL To the Cardinal’s.
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Your lordship is a guest too.
CHAMBERLAIN O, ’tis true.
This night he makes a supper, and a great one,
To many lords and ladies. There will be
The beauty of this kingdom, I’ll assure you.
LOVELL
That churchman bears a bounteous mind indeed,
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A hand as fruitful as the land that feeds us:
His dews fall everywhere.
CHAMBERLAIN No doubt he’s noble –
He had a black mouth that said other of him.
SANDYS He may, my lord; ’has wherewithal. In him
Sparing would show a worse sin than ill doctrine.
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Men of his way should be most liberal:
They are set here for examples.
CHAMBERLAIN True, they are so,
But few now give so great ones. My barge stays.
Your lordship shall along. Come, good Sir Thomas,
We shall be late else, which I would not be,
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For I was spoke to, with Sir Henry Guildford,
This night to be comptrollers.
SANDYS I am your lordship’s. Exeunt.
1.4 Hautboys. A small table under a state for the Cardinal; a longer table for the guests. Then enter ANNE Bullen and diverse other ladies and gentlemen, as guests, at one door. At another door enter Sir Henry GUILDFORD.
GUILDFORD Ladies, a general welcome from his grace
Salutes ye all. This night he dedicates
To fair content and you. None here, he hopes,
In all this noble bevy has brought with her
One care abroad: he would have all as merry
5
As, first, good company, good wine, good welcome
Can make good people.
Enter Lord CHAMBERLAIN, Lord SANDYS and Sir Thomas LOVELL.
O my lord, you’re tardy.
The very thought of this fair company
Clapped wings to me.
CHAMBERLAIN You are young, Sir Harry Guildford.
SANDYS Sir Thomas Lovell, had the Cardinal
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But half my lay thoughts in him, some of these
Should find a running banquet ere they rested
I think would better please ’em. By my life,
They are a sweet society of fair ones.
LOVELL O, that your lordship were but now confessor
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To one or two of these.
SANDYS I would I were:
They should find easy penance.
LOVELL Faith, how easy?
SANDYS As easy as a down bed would afford it.
CHAMBERLAIN
Sweet ladies, will it please you sit? Sir Harry,
Place you that side; I’ll take the charge of this.
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His grace is entering. Nay, you must not freeze:
Two women placed together makes cold weather.
My lord Sandys, you are one will keep ’em waking:
Pray sit between these ladies.
SANDYS By my faith,
And thank your lordship. By your leave, sweet ladies.
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If I chance to talk a little wild, forgive me:
I had it from my father.
ANNE Was he mad, sir?
SANDYS O, very mad – exceeding mad in love, too –
But he would bite none. Just as I do now,
He would kiss you twenty with a breath.
CHAMBERLAIN Well said, my lord.
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So, now you’re fairly seated, gentlemen,
The penance lies on you if these fair ladies
The Arden Shakespeare Complete Works Page 248