ROSALINE Great reason, for past cure is still past care.
PRINCESS Well bandied both! A set of wit well played.
But, Rosaline, you have a favour too:
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Who sent it? And what is it?
ROSALINE I would you knew.
An if my face were but as fair as yours,
My favour were as great. Be witness this:
Nay, I have verses too, I thank Berowne;
The numbers true, and, were the numbering too,
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I were the fairest goddess on the ground.
I am compared to twenty thousand fairs.
O, he hath drawn my picture in his letter!
PRINCESS Anything like?
ROSALINE Much in the letters, nothing in the praise.
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PRINCESS Beauteous as ink: a good conclusion.
KATHERINE Fair as a text B in a copy-book.
ROSALINE
‘Ware pencils, ho! Let me not die your debtor,
My red dominical, my golden letter.
O, that your face were not so full of O’s!
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PRINCESS A pox of that jest and I beshrew all shrews.
But, Katherine, what was sent to you from fair Dumaine?
KATHERINE Madam, this glove.
PRINCESS Did he not send you twain?
KATHERINE Yes, madam, and moreover
Some thousand verses of a faithful lover.
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A huge translation of hypocrisy,
Vilely compiled, profound simplicity.
MARIA This and these pearls to me sent Longaville.
The letter is too long by half a mile.
PRINCESS I think no less. Dost thou not wish in heart
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The chain were longer and the letter short?
MARIA Ay, or I would these hands might never part.
PRINCESS We are wise girls to mock our lovers so.
ROSALINE
They are worse fools to purchase mocking so.
That same Berowne I’ll torture ere I go.
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O that I knew he were but in by th’ week!
How I would make him fawn, and beg, and seek,
And wait the season, and observe the times,
And spend his prodigal wits in bootless rhymes,
And shape his service wholly to my hests,
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And make him proud to make me proud that jests!
So pair-taunt-like would I o’ersway his state,
That he should be my fool, and I his fate.
PRINCESS
None are so surely caught, when they are catched,
As wit turned fool. Folly, in wisdom hatched,
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Hath wisdom’s warrant and the help of school
And wit’s own grace to grace a learned fool.
ROSALINE
The blood of youth burns not with such excess
As gravity’s revolt to wantonness.
MARIA Folly in fools bears not so strong a note
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As foolery in the wise when wit doth dote,
Since all the power thereof it doth apply
To prove, by wit, worth in simplicity.
Enter BOYET.
PRINCESS Here comes Boyet, and mirth is in his face.
BOYET
O, I am stabbed with laughter! Where’s her grace?
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PRINCESS Thy news, Boyet?
BOYET Prepare, madam, prepare!
Arm, wenches, arm! Encounters mounted are
Against your peace. Love doth approach disguised,
Armed in arguments: you’ll be surprised.
Muster your wits, stand in your own defence,
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Or hide your heads like cowards and fly hence.
PRINCESS Saint Denis to Saint Cupid! What are they
That charge their breath against us? Say, scout, say.
BOYET Under the cool shade of a sycamore
I thought to close mine eyes some half an hour,
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When, lo, to interrupt my purposed rest,
Toward that shade I might behold addressed
The King and his companions. Warily
I stole into a neighbour thicket by
And overheard what you shall overhear:
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That, by and by, disguised they will be here.
Their herald is a pretty knavish page
That well by heart hath conned his embassage.
Action and accent did they teach him there:
‘Thus must thou speak and thus thy body bear.’
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And ever and anon they made a doubt
Presence majestical would put him out;
‘For’, quoth the King, ‘an angel shalt thou see;
Yet fear not thou, but speak audaciously.’
The boy replied, ‘An angel is not evil;
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I should have feared her had she been a devil.’
With that all laughed and clapped him on the shoulder,
Making the bold wag by their praises bolder.
One rubbed his elbow thus, and fleered, and swore
A better speech was never spoke before.
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Another with his finger and his thumb
Cried, ‘Via, we will do’t, come what will come!’
The third he capered and cried, ‘All goes well!’
The fourth turned on the toe, and down he fell.
With that they all did tumble on the ground,
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With such a zealous laughter, so profound,
That in this spleen ridiculous appears,
To check their folly, passion’s solemn tears.
PRINCESS But what, but what, come they to visit us?
BOYET They do, they do, and are apparelled thus,
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Like Muscovites, or Russians, as I guess.
Their purpose is to parley, court and dance,
And every one his love-suit will advance
Unto his several mistress, which they’ll know
By favours several which they did bestow.
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PRINCESS
And will they so? The gallants shall be tasked;
For, ladies, we will every one be masked,
And not a man of them shall have the grace,
Despite of suit, to see a lady’s face.
Hold, Rosaline, this favour thou shalt wear,
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And then the King will court thee for his dear.
Hold, take thou this, my sweet, and give me thine,
So shall Berowne take me for Rosaline.
And change you favours too; so shall your loves
Woo contrary, deceived by these removes.
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ROSALINE
Come on, then, wear the favours most in sight.
KATHERINE But in this changing what is your intent?
PRINCESS The effect of my intent is to cross theirs.
They do it but in mockery merriment,
And mock for mock is only my intent.
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Their several counsels they unbosom shall
To loves mistook, and so be mocked withal
Upon the next occasion that we meet,
With visages displayed to talk and greet.
ROSALINE But shall we dance if they desire us to’t?
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PRINCESS No, to the death we will not move a foot;
Nor to their penned speech render we no grace,
But while ’tis spoke each turn away her face.
BOYET Why, that contempt will kill the speaker’s heart
And quite divorce his memory from his part.
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PRINCESS Therefore I do it, and I make no doubt
The rest will e’er come in, if he be out.
There’s no such sport as sport by sport o’erthrown,
To
make theirs ours and ours none but our own.
So shall we stay, mocking intended game,
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And they, well mocked, depart away with shame.
[Sound trumpet.]
BOYET
The trumpet sounds. Be masked. The maskers come.
Enter blackamoors with music, MOTH, the boy, with a speech, and the rest of the lords disguised.
MOTH All hail the richest beauties on the earth!
BOYET Beauties no richer than rich taffeta.
MOTH A holy parcel of the fairest dames
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[The ladies turn their backs to him.]
That ever turned their – backs – to mortal views.
BEROWNE Their eyes, villain, their eyes.
MOTH That ever turned their eyes to mortal views. Out –
BOYET True! Out indeed!
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MOTH Out of your favours, heavenly spirits, vouchsafe Not to behold –
BEROWNE Once to behold, rogue!
MOTH Once to behold with your sun-beamed eyes –With your sun-beamed eyes –
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BOYET They will not answer to that epithet.
You were best call it ‘daughter-beamed eyes’.
MOTH They do not mark me and that brings me out.
BEROWNE
Is this your perfectness? Be gone, you rogue!
Exit Moth.
ROSALINE
What would these strangers? Know their minds, Boyet.
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If they do speak our language, ’tis our will
That some plain man recount their purposes.
Know what they would.
BOYET What would you with the Princess?
BEROWNE Nothing but peace and gentle visitation.
ROSALINE What would they, say they?
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BOYET Nothing but peace and gentle visitation.
ROSALINE
Why, that they have, and bid them so be gone.
BOYET She says you have it and you may be gone.
KING Say to her, we have measured many miles
To tread a measure with her on this grass.
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BOYET They say that they have measured many a mile
To tread a measure with you on this grass.
ROSALINE It is not so. Ask them how many inches
Is in one mile? If they have measured many,
The measure then of one is easily told.
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BOYET If to come hither you have measured miles,
And many miles, the Princess bids you tell
How many inches doth fill up one mile.
BEROWNE Tell her we measure them by weary steps.
BOYET She hears herself.
ROSALINE How many weary steps,
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Of many weary miles you have o’ergone,
Are numbered in the travel of one mile?
BEROWNE We number nothing that we spend for you.
Our duty is so rich, so infinite,
That we may do it still without account.
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Vouchsafe to show the sunshine of your face,
That we like savages may worship it.
ROSALINE My face is but a moon and clouded too.
KING Blessed are clouds, to do as such clouds do.
Vouchsafe, bright moon, and these thy stars, to shine –
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Those clouds removed – upon our watery eyne.
ROSALINE O vain petitioner! Beg a greater matter:
Thou now requests but moonshine in the water.
KING
Then, in our measure, do but vouchsafe one change.
Thou biddest me beg: this begging is not strange.
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ROSALINE
Play music then! Nay, you must do it soon.
Music plays.
Not yet? No dance! Thus change I like the moon.
KING
Will you not dance? How come you thus estranged?
ROSALINE
You took the moon at full, but now she’s changed.
KING Yet still she is the moon and I the man.
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The music plays, vouchsafe some motion to it.
ROSALINE Our ears vouchsafe it.
KING But your legs should do it.
ROSALINE
Since you are strangers and come here by chance,
We’ll not be nice. Take hands. We will not dance.
KING Why take we hands then?
ROSALINE Only to part friends.
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Curtsy, sweet hearts, and so the measure ends.
Music stops.
KING More measure of this measure! Be not nice.
ROSALINE We can afford no more at such a price.
KING Price you yourselves. What buys your company?
The Arden Shakespeare Complete Works Page 333