toads.
NESTOR [aside] Yet he loves himself. Is’t not strange?
160
ULYSSES Achilles will not to the field tomorrow.
AGAMEMNON What’s his excuse?
ULYSSES He doth rely on none,
But carries on the stream of his dispose,
Without observance or respect of any,
In will peculiar and in self-admission.
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AGAMEMNON Why, will he not, upon our fair request,
Untent his person and share the air with us?
ULYSSES
Things small as nothing, for request’s sake only,
He makes important. Possessed he is with greatness
And speaks not to himself but with a pride
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That quarrels at self-breath. Imagined worth
Holds in his blood such swoll’n and hot discourse
That ’twixt his mental and his active parts
Kingdomed Achilles in commotion rages
And batters down himself. What should I say?
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He is so plaguy proud that the death-tokens of it
Cry ‘No recovery’.
AGAMEMNON Let Ajax go to him. –
Dear lord, go you and greet him in his tent.
’Tis said he holds you well and will be led,
At your request, a little from himself.
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ULYSSES O Agamemnon, let it not be so!
We’ll consecrate the steps that Ajax makes
When they go from Achilles. Shall the proud lord
That bastes his arrogance with his own seam
And never suffers matter of the world
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Enter his thoughts, save such as doth revolve
And ruminate himself – shall he be worshipped
Of that we hold an idol more than he?
No; this thrice-worthy and right valiant lord
Must not so stale his palm, nobly acquired,
190
Nor, by my will, assubjugate his merit,
As amply titled as Achilles’ is,
By going to Achilles.
That were to enlard his fat-already pride,
And add more coals to Cancer when he burns
195
With entertaining great Hyperion.
This lord go to him? Jupiter forbid,
And say in thunder: ‘Achilles, go to him’.
NESTOR [aside to Diomedes]
O, this is well. He rubs the vein of him.
DIOMEDES [aside to Nestor]
And how his silence drinks up this applause!
200
AJAX If I go to him, with my armed fist
I’ll pash him o’er the face.
AGAMEMNON O, no, you shall not go.
AJAX An ’a be proud with me, I’ll feeze his pride.
Let me go to him.
205
ULYSSES
Not for the worth that hangs upon our quarrel.
AJAX A paltry, insolent fellow!
NESTOR [aside] How he describes himself!
AJAX Can he not be sociable?
ULYSSES [aside] The raven chides blackness.
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AJAX I’ll let his humorous blood.
AGAMEMNON [aside] He will be the physician that
should be the patient.
AJAX An all men were o’ my mind –
ULYSSES [aside] Wit would be out of fashion.
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AJAX – ’a should not bear it so. ’A should eat swords
first. Shall pride carry it?
NESTOR [aside] An ’twould, you’d carry half.
ULYSSES [aside] ’A would have ten shares.
AJAX I will knead him; I’ll make him supple.
220
NESTOR [aside] He’s not yet through warm. Farce him
with praises. Pour in, pour in! His ambition is dry.
ULYSSES [to Agamemnon]
My lord, you feed too much on this dislike.
NESTOR [to Agamemnon]
Our noble general, do not do so.
DIOMEDES [to Agamemnon]
You must prepare to fight without Achilles.
225
ULYSSES Why, ’tis this naming of him does him harm.
Here is a man – but ’tis before his face;
I will be silent.
NESTOR Wherefore should you so?
He is not emulous, as Achilles is.
ULYSSES Know the whole world, he is as valiant –
230
AJAX A whoreson dog, that shall palter thus with us!
Would he were a Trojan!
NESTOR What a vice were it in Ajax now –
ULYSSES If he were proud –
DIOMEDES Or covetous of praise –
ULYSSES Ay, or surly borne –
DIOMEDES Or strange, or self-affected.
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ULYSSES [to Ajax]
Thank the heavens, lord, thou art of sweet composure.
Praise him that got thee, she that gave thee suck;
Famed be thy tutor, and thy parts of nature
Thrice-famed beyond, beyond all erudition!
But he that disciplined thine arms to fight,
240
Let Mars divide eternity in twain
And give him half; and for thy vigour,
Bull-bearing Milo his addition yield
To sinewy Ajax! I will not praise thy wisdom,
Which, like a bourn, a pale, a shore, confines
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Thy spacious and dilated parts. Here’s Nestor,
Instructed by the antiquary times;
He must, he is, he cannot but be wise.
But pardon, father Nestor, were your days
As green as Ajax’ and your brain so tempered,
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You should not have the eminence of him,
But be as Ajax.
AJAX Shall I call you father?
ULYSSES Ay, my good son.
DIOMEDES Be ruled by him, Lord Ajax.
ULYSSES There is no tarrying here; the hart Achilles
Keeps thicket. Please it our great general
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To call together all his state of war.
Fresh kings are come to Troy; tomorrow
We must with all our main of power stand fast.
And here’s a lord – come knights from east to west,
And cull their flower, Ajax shall cope the best.
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AGAMEMNON Go we to council. Let Achilles sleep.
Light boats sail swift, though greater hulks draw deep.
Exeunt.
3.1 Music sounds within. Enter PANDARUS and a Servant.
PANDARUS Friend, you, pray you, a word. Do not you
follow the young Lord Paris?
SERVANT Ay, sir, when he goes before me.
PANDARUS You depend upon him, I mean.
SERVANT Sir, I do depend upon the Lord.
5
PANDARUS You depend upon a notable gentleman; I
must needs praise him.
SERVANT The Lord be praised!
PANDARUS You know me, do you not?
SERVANT Faith, sir, superficially.
10
PANDARUS Friend, know me better: I am the Lord
Pandarus.
SERVANT I hope I shall know your honour better.
PANDARUS I do desire it.
SERVANT You are in the state of grace?
15
PANDARUS Grace? Not so, friend. ‘Honour’ and
‘lordship’ are my titles. What music is this?
SERVANT I do but partly know, sir: it is music in parts.
PANDARUS Know you the musicians?
SERVANT Wholly, sir.
20
PANDARUS Who play they to?
SERVANT To the hearers, sir.
PANDARUS At whose pleasure, friend?
SERVANT At mine, sir, and theirs that love mus
ic.
PANDARUS ‘Command’, I mean, friend.
25
SERVANT Who shall I command, sir?
PANDARUS Friend, we understand not one another: I am
too courtly and thou too cunning. At whose request do
these men play?
SERVANT That’s to’t indeed, sir. Marry, sir, at the
30
request of Paris my lord, who is there in person; with
him, the mortal Venus, the heart-blood of beauty,
love’s visible soul –
PANDARUS Who, my cousin Cressida?
SERVANT No, sir, Helen. Could not you find out that by
35
her attributes?
PANDARUS It should seem, fellow, thou hast not seen the
Lady Cressid. I come to speak with Paris from the
Prince Troilus. I will make a complimental assault
upon him, for my business seethes.
40
SERVANT Sodden business! There’s a stewed phrase
indeed.
Enter PARIS and HELEN attended by musicians.
PANDARUS Fair be to you, my lord, and to all this fair
company! Fair desires, in all fair measure, fairly guide
them! – especially to you, fair queen. Fair thoughts be
45
your fair pillow!
HELEN Dear lord, you are full of fair words.
PANDARUS You speak your fair pleasure, sweet queen.
[to Paris] Fair prince, here is good broken music.
PARIS You have broke it, cousin, and, by my life, you shall
50
make it whole again; you shall piece it out with a piece
of your performance. – Nell, he is full of harmony.
PANDARUS Truly, lady, no.
HELEN O, sir!
PANDARUS Rude, in sooth; in good sooth, very rude.
55
PARIS Well said, my lord. Well, you say so in fits.
PANDARUS I have business to my lord, dear queen. – My
lord, will you vouchsafe me a word?
HELEN Nay, this shall not hedge us out. We’ll hear you
sing, certainly.
60
PANDARUS Well, sweet queen, you are pleasant with me.
– But, marry, thus, my lord: my dear lord and most
esteemed friend, your brother Troilus –
HELEN My Lord Pandarus, honey-sweet lord –
PANDARUS Go to, sweet queen, go to – commends
65
himself most affectionately to you.
HELEN You shall not bob us out of our melody. If you
do, our melancholy upon your head!
PANDARUS Sweet queen, sweet queen, that’s a sweet
queen, i’faith –
70
HELEN And to make a sweet lady sad is a sour offence.
PANDARUS Nay, that shall not serve your turn, that shall
it not, in truth, la. Nay, I care not for such words, no,
no. – And, my lord, he desires you that if the King call
for him at supper, you will make his excuse.
75
HELEN My Lord Pandarus –
PANDARUS What says my sweet queen, my very very
sweet queen?
PARIS What exploit’s in hand? Where sups he tonight?
HELEN Nay, but, my lord –
80
PANDARUS What says my sweet queen? My cousin will
fall out with you.
HELEN [to Paris] You must not know where he sups.
PARIS I’ll lay my life, with my disposer Cressida.
PANDARUS No, no, no such matter, you are wide. Come,
85
your disposer is sick.
PARIS Well, I’ll make’s excuse.
PANDARUS Ay, good my lord. Why should you say
Cressida? No, your poor disposer’s sick.
PARIS I spy.
90
PANDARUS You spy? What do you spy? – Come, give me
an instrument. [He is handed a musical instrument.]
Now, sweet queen.
HELEN Why, this is kindly done.
PANDARUS My niece is horribly in love with a thing you
95
have, sweet queen.
HELEN She shall have it, my lord, if it be not my Lord
Paris.
PANDARUS He? No, she’ll none of him. They two are
twain.
100
HELEN Falling in after falling out may make them three.
PANDARUS Come, come, I’ll hear no more of this. I’ll
sing you a song now.
HELEN Ay, ay, prithee. Now by my troth, sweet lord,
thou hast a fine forehead.
105
PANDARUS Ay, you may, you may.
HELEN Let thy song be love. ‘This love will undo us all.’
The Arden Shakespeare Complete Works Page 512