by Jane Matisse
She realized she’d been staring and quickly composed herself, hoping that the dim lights kept him from noticing the blush spreading up her neck and into every part of her face.
“Ankle?” she asked absentmindedly, then realized he must have been the one who’d caught her before she had a chance to hit the ground. “Oh! I’m so sorry about that! I tend to naturally be very clumsy and these heels definitely don’t help with that problem,” she explained with a small, nervous chuckle.
The guy smirked a little at the sight of her red heels. “They really are nice.”
Penelope blushed again. “Thank you.”
They went back to watching the game of pool, silence taking over for a few moments before he spoke again.
“Do you play?”
“Uhh, I played once with my uncle and I somehow managed to beat him, which was a surprise.” She chuckled. The guy merely smiled and turned his attention back to the game. Penelope had the sudden urge to talk with him. He was one of the most attractive guys she had ever met. Someday when she was old and gray with her dozens of dogs, she’d be able to look back at this moment and remember how accomplished she’d felt for being able to hold a handsome man’s attention with conversation.
“What I don’t get about it is the betting. How do they know when to bet another dollar?” The guy leaned closer to her as she talked in order to hear her. Penelope’s senses were on high alert.
This hunk smells wonderful!
She would have completely melted on the floor during the next few moments if she hadn’t been trying so hard to look unaffected. She felt his breath against her ear as he explained. “Every time the player up is going to hit the ball, they bet another dollar. Whoever gets rid of all their balls wins the game and the money.”
All Penelope could manage was a nod. God, she hoped she smelled good. It didn’t help that she was already feeling small droplets of sweat beading on her forehead. After a few moments, a cheer broke out around the pool tables.
“Who do you think won? Even or odd?” the guy asked, nodding toward the game.
Penelope looked at the table. All the balls left were odd. “Even,” she replied.
“Good girl,” he said, smiling straight at Penelope.
My God, he’s breathtaking.
She did her best to smile in return.
CHAPTER TWO
Being a hermit in training isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. You miss out on the world outside. Doesn’t matter if you’re happy with your own company, and a pet—though a wonderful companion—can’t be what a human being needs to feel complete. Now, if only I could convince myself to listen to my own advice.
DIARY OF A WALLFLOWER: Blog Entry 75
“So, got your eye on anyone?” Jack winced internally. He hadn’t meant to ask something so personal. He just wanted to have a decent conversation with the girl. Goodness knew he wasn’t really interested in her. She seemed nice, and his theory about her being drunk was obviously not true. There was something somewhat pleasant about her. It wasn’t attraction, of course. She was a bit too pudgy for his taste. And even though the dress she was wearing was pretty revealing and the heels screamed sexy, he found her too innocent for him.
Inexperienced.
He shuddered. His kind of woman needed to scream confidence, not chubby field mouse. Yet, he somehow couldn’t bring himself to walk away.
“No. I’m here with my friends, although they’ve completely forgotten about me,” she replied, pointing toward the dance floor where a brunette and a blonde were each grinding up against hulking men.
“Well, they seem like they’re having fun. Why aren’t you joining them?” he asked.
The girl turned toward him with a matter-of-fact expression. “Do I need to remind you what happened when I was merely walking in these heels?”
Jack chuckled. He was feeling more at ease since talking to her, and it seemed her wall of insecurity was slowly crumbling. “I’m Jack, by the way.” He reached out for a handshake.
“Penelope,” she replied, taking his hand and firmly shaking it.
“Penelope. Now that’s a name I haven’t heard in a while.”
She laughed. “All my mother’s idea. My younger sister was the one who lucked out in the name department. She was named after a color.”
“Well, she was named after a color while you were named after Odysseus’s faithful, and not to mention beautiful, wife. My guess would be that you were the one who lucked out. I took a few mythology classes in college,” he explained at the quizzical look on her face.
“No, I wasn’t wondering how you knew the origin of the name. I was just surprised someone complimented it. It’s a bit out there.” She wrinkled her nose, which Jack thought endearing. “My mother is Nicaraguan, but she swears our ancestry reaches back all the way to the Greeks, which makes absolutely no sense because there’s proof that our ancestors were indigenous to Central America.”
“Oh, I see.” Jack chuckled. “Well, it’s a beautiful name. Very fitting.” He mentally kicked himself a few dozen times. The more he spoke to her, the more foolish lines spilled out of his lips. And to top it off, he noticed her blush return. The lighting in the bar did nothing to hide the fact that her cheeks turned pink every time he complimented her. He couldn’t remember the last time any one of his girlfriends or conquests had blushed, unless they were in the throes of passion. But that was a very different situation.
“So what brings you here?”
“It was Friday night and I had nothing to do, so I said what the hell and accepted my friends’ invitation to come and drink the night away.”
“But you haven’t been drinking,” Jack responded. He hadn’t smelled a single hint of alcohol on her breath. On the contrary, whenever she spoke, he was hit with the scent of peppermint. Penelope smiled at him. It wasn’t breathtaking, but it was... pleasant.
“Well,” she began, “I’m not really much of a drinker.”
“Oh, come on. You’re at a bar, might as well drink,” he replied, suddenly feeling like it was his duty to show her a good time.
“Yeah, I guess so.”
“So, want to be my partner?” Jack asked, standing and stretching his arm out toward her. She looked at his hand for a few seconds, a startled look on her face, before placing her hand in his.
“Okay,” she shyly accepted, and Jack suddenly felt his night get a little better.
* * *
“Wait a minute! You fell off the bike and the handle hit you straight in the mouth? That’s crazy!” he exclaimed enthusiastically.
Penelope didn’t know how long they had been sitting at the bar. She had drunk three watered-down vodkas, but even so she felt dizzier than she should’ve. Her body wasn’t used to the alcohol. She stared at Jack’s face. He’d been pretty nice all night, and he seemed to genuinely listen to everything she said.
“Yeah, I did! Almost lost my two front teeth in the process!”
Jack gently touched her upper lip, pulling it up slightly so he could get a better look at her teeth. Penelope giggled like a madwoman and swatted his hand away.
“I said almost!”
Jack was a little buzzed, as far as Penelope could see. Of course, he had drunk much more than she had. “That had to have been one of the clumsiest moments of my life,” she commented. Penelope opened her clutch to sneak a look at the time on her cell phone.
1:00 a.m.
Time did certainly pass when she was having fun. She found it unusual that her friends hadn’t come by to talk to her or steal her from Jack to go dancing. Penelope looked around the dimly lit bar and spotted them where they had been a little over an hour before. Both were busy dry humping their meatheads on the dance floor.
Traitors. Well, she couldn’t really complain, could she? With a handsome guy giving her some attention, she doubted she’d let anything get in her way. He had been approached by one too many gorgeous women, yet he always politely refused them, saying he was with her.
Speak of the devil— “Hey, sexy.” A tall, red-haired beauty slid her hand around Jack’s shoulders.
“Hey, lovely,” he responded, just like with all the rest. He smoothly grabbed her hand from his shoulder and held it in between both of his. Of course, Penelope was once again ignored by the female. Shocker.
“Wanna dance?” the redheaded model asked.
“I’d love to, but I was just about to ask Penelope here if she would dance with me,” Jack said, a small pout on his lips for show, and turned to Penelope. It took her a few moments to finally realize he was asking her.
“Oh, umm, sure?” she replied, a little buzzed from the drinks.
“Great! Let’s go!” Jack grabbed her arm and pulled her onto the dance floor without another word. She clumsily followed, tripping over her heels a couple of times.
“What was that about?” Penelope asked once they were away from the model. She was ready to let his hand go, but she found he wouldn’t loosen his hold. Instead, he placed both her hands on his shoulders and grabbed her by the waist. She was beginning to feel a little uncomfortable. She was sure he felt at least a little weird holding her thick waist. She was bound to be at least twice as large as the models he was no doubt used to dating. But Penelope didn’t want to dwell on her stream of self-consciousness. At least, not for tonight.
He had asked her to dance. Not the other way around. For tonight, she would not let anything ruin her fun.
“I really don’t feel like working tonight.”
“Working?” Penelope asked.
“Chicks like that require too much work. They want the world at their feet.”
“Whereas girls like me don’t?”
That seemed to stump him. “No, I didn’t mean it like that. I—well—I only meant—” He looked down at the tiny smirk threatening to turn into a smile on Penelope’s face. “You’re teasing me,” he stated, shaking his head.
Penelope let out a hearty laugh.
“So,” Jack began, “no boyfriend I have to worry about?”
Penelope scoffed. “I’ve never had one,” she stated flippantly.
“Never?”
“You seem surprised.”
“Well, yeah.”
Penelope laughed as if he’d made some joke. “Come on, you’ve seen me. I’m not really capable of attracting anyone from the opposite sex.” She somehow couldn’t stop the word vomit that had taken over her.
“Wait a minute. I’m here with you now, aren’t I?”
“And why you are I’m still wondering myself,” she said, looking up at him curiously.
Jack looked unsure what to reply, and Penelope tried to think of something to make up for her awkwardness.
“So, no boyfriend ever.”
A shake of the head was her response.
“But you have dated before?”
Another shake of the head. “I haven’t even been kissed,” Penelope blurted out. She silently cursed her wagging tongue.
Why can’t I stop this diarrhea of the mouth?
Jack suddenly stopped swaying to the rhythm of the music. He didn’t say anything, and neither did she. She was looking around, trying to avoid his gaze, afraid to find ridicule or humor in his eyes. She figured she might as well make a quick jest of it before he could.
“Want to be my first?” She put on a teasing smile and looked up at him.
There was no humor. The expression on his face was anything but humorous. Her smile slowly faded and her eyes widened in horror as she wondered what he might be thinking of her. “Why are you looking at me that way?”
Jack slowly leaned in to Penelope until she could feel his warm breath tickling her ear. “Can I be your first in bed, too?”
Holy shit! Where did that come from?
Penelope’s knees buckled, but she did her best to keep her composure as much as she could with a vodka-muddled brain.
* * *
“Stop fooling.” She nervously laughed, slightly smacking Jack’s arm.
God, he wished he were. He didn’t know why he had asked her to join him for drinks. She wasn’t even his type, but something about the innocent look on her face or the way she carried herself pulled him to her. It didn’t make sense, but hell, he wasn’t going to put much thought into it. He was beginning to feel a massive headache. At the moment, he was trying not to explode in his jeans. It was getting extremely uncomfortable down there, and he didn’t want to scare poor, innocent Penelope with his sexuality.
“I wasn’t.”
“Yeah, yeah,” she replied uncomfortably. “Anyway, it’s never been my priority to g—”
Something in Jack snapped, and before he knew it, he had placed his lips on Penelope’s. He felt her surprise at first but then she seemed to slowly give in to his embrace. It wasn’t spectacular. There weren’t any fireworks, but it had to be the sweetest kiss he had ever experienced. It reminded him of a simpler time. A time when life wasn’t overwhelmed with rules and responsibilities.
It was different from any kiss he had ever had.
He slowly pulled away from her lips and looked down at her dazed face. She finally opened her eyes and looked straight at him.
“Thank you,” she whispered, so softly he almost didn’t hear her.
“My pleasure,” he responded.
“Would you do it again, please?”
And with that, Jack swept down again. This time his lips pressed a little more firmly against hers. He slipped his tongue out of his mouth and teased the seam of her lips until she opened for him. She tasted like the vodka she had been drinking with the slight hint of peppermint he had smelled earlier that night.
Penelope held Jack a little tighter and whispered against his lips, “I might as well come right out and say it before I chicken out. Be my first.” She looked up at him with expectant eyes.
* * *
“Oh shit.” Penelope had startled herself. Was she really going to go through with it? Sex was no game; neither were STDs. She’d have to make sure they took the right precautions when the time came. Her lips were still burning from his kiss. It hadn’t been what she had imagined a first kiss would be, and it had been better than the crap her sister told her:
“You need to kiss a lot of toads in order to find your prince.”
Jack was definitely not a toad, and that kiss was anything but awkward. She watched him take care of the tab at the bar, and then he was in front of her, taking her hand in his and leading her toward the exit.
“Penny, where are you going?” Stephanie came out of the crowd on the dance floor.
“I’ll call you later,” Penelope mouthed, miming a pretend phone with her hand.
Stephanie looked at her, then looked at Jack, her eyes widening. She gave her a thumbs-up, and mouthed to text her later. Penelope’s escape was easy enough. God, if only her head weren’t such a mess. Well, this was the chance she had been waiting for. Something spontaneous that she could hold on to for the rest of her life. And if Jack turned out to be not so nice, she had a can of pepper spray in her clutch.
Jack held the taxi door open for her and she climbed inside. She stumbled a little, but immediately felt his strong hand at her lower back, holding her steady.
“Longfellow and Sixth, please,” Jack instructed the driver as he sat beside her. Despite the space in the back of the cab, his body was pressed against her from shoulder to thigh.
“Is that where you live?”
“Yeah, it’s my apartment,” Jack replied, then hesitated. “Unless you wanted to go to a hotel?” he asked, although he didn’t look like he really liked the idea.
Penelope shook her head and was hit with a sudden shyness.
“If you don’t want to do it anymore, it’s okay to say no.”
When Penelope turned to look at him, he kissed her again. She responded with great enthusiasm. He trailed his lips and the tip of his tongue along her jaw and down to her neck. Penelope could hear her heartbeat pulsing in her head, and the sound of their heavy breathing w
as like music to her ears.
“Oh God, Jack. I-I don’t usually do this,” a breathless Penelope whispered.
“Shh,” he whispered. “I know.”
It took them almost ten minutes just to get to Jack’s apartment door. Penelope found she’d drunk a little more than she had initially thought. Or maybe it was the combination of the kisses and the drinks that had her on cloud nine. It took them a long time to get the key into the keyhole, distracted by kisses and earlobes that just needed biting, and then they stumbled into the apartment. Once inside, Jack turned on the light.
Penelope looked around the apartment. It was surprisingly clean for a bachelor pad. Her eyes rested on Jack as he placed the keys on the coffee table, his gaze never leaving hers.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
A tiny smile adorned his face. “You probably won’t believe me, but I don’t think I’ve brought anyone here before.”
Penelope nervously laughed. “You’re not going to chop me up into little pieces now are you?”
“No, I’m not. Not before I give you a drink at least.” He chuckled, walking over to his minibar. Penelope was suddenly hit with a wave of self-consciousness. A drink might just be the boost of confidence she needed. She wasn’t a big drinker, but tonight she was going to need all the confidence she could get. And if that meant drinking, then by God she would get shitfaced. She watched as he poured amber liquid from a decanter into two glasses with ice.
“Take one,” he offered as he put the glass decanter away.
“Thank you,” Penelope replied, taking the glass. She waited for Jack to take the first sip before she sipped from hers. She pointedly stared at everything in the room, avoiding Jack’s gaze.
He began to chuckle. “Why so nervous now? You were enthusiastic about this just a few minutes ago.”
“I’m a virgin in all aspects of the word except for one.” Crap, there was the word vomit. Penelope glared at the alcoholic beverage in her hand. Stupid alcohol.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“Well, it’s not like I haven’t had an... orgasm.” She whispered the word as if there were someone other than the two of them in the apartment.