by Jane Matisse
“You okay?” he spoke first.
Penelope nodded, not trusting her voice.
“You sure? There’s nothing you’d like to talk about? Your sister is a smart one, but she chooses not to pay attention to your bullshit sometimes.” Bryan smirked.
Penelope’s eyes widened. “What bullshit?”
Bryan gave Penelope a pointed look. “Your nose is red and you look a little dazed. Maybe it’s because of the unshed tears in your eyes,” he explained quietly.
Penelope was a little defensive. “I thought men weren’t supposed to notice anything. I thought you guys only thought about sports, beer, and boobs all the time.”
Bryan laughed. “Why do you think your sister is so keen on marrying me? I’m one of a kind!” He smiled, but just as quickly as his smile had appeared, it faded. “But seriously, what’s going on? You haven’t been yourself lately.”
“Ugh. Now apparently everyone knows what I’m usually like. Girl issues. Nothing to worry about, Bryan.” Penelope waved the topic off, making sure he understood she wasn’t about to talk about her emotions with him.
He lifted a solitary brow. “It wouldn’t have anything to do with a certain guy named Jack, would it?” Penelope’s head shot up, her eyes wide. “Or maybe it does.”
“How— What— what do you know exactly?”
“I don’t know any facts, only what I’ve seen. You’re head over heels for the guy, Penelope. I can tell.”
“You can’t say anything to Celeste, please,” Penelope pleaded. What was the point in denying it? Bryan had proved to be smarter than she gave him credit for.
He threw his hands up in mock surrender. “Hey, I’m not here to share anyone’s secrets. What you do, or rather who you do, is none of my business.”
Penelope’s face heated like a stovetop. “Is it that obvious?”
“Maybe not to the naked eye, but then again I’m more of the outsider looking in. Celeste never thought about it that way because she would never think you’d go for a guy like Jack. I was a little surprised myself, to tell you the truth.”
Penelope had no words. She didn’t know what to say. “I-I—”
“Look, I know we’re not really close, but we’re going to be family in a few weeks. I just want you to know that you can confide in me as a brother if you need anything. I know I’m in no position to really lecture you on anything you’re doing, but for the sole fact that you’re my fiancée’s sister, please be careful. Jack is a likeable guy and all, but he’s not really the kind of guy you should fall for. You need someone who is willing to give you love. Whatever happened between you two is none of my business, but as your brother-in-law, I just don’t want you to get hurt.” Bryan held her hands tightly between his, looking at her with sympathy. Celeste called out for him from the living room, and with one more squeeze to her hands in comfort, he walked out of the kitchen.
“It’s too late, Bryan,” Penelope whispered, a single tear falling down her cheek.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
I’m not one to care much for physical appearances, but sometimes it’s nice to wear something that makes you feel good. Clothes can definitely give you confidence or take it away. Just don’t make the mistake of choosing something to wear to impress someone else. It’s for you, so do it for yourself.
DIARY OF A WALLFLOWER: Entry 171
“Did you make up your mind? I kind of like this one on you.”
“It’s too damn short! You know what happened the last time I wore a dress this short?” Penelope was trying to pull the hem of the body-hugging dress so it wouldn’t ride up any higher on her thighs. The huge mirrors right outside the dressing rooms gave her a good view of her every angle. Unfortunately, the dress made her feel like she was enclosed in plastic. She was suffocating!
“What? I love it! Jazz was right about this one,” Stephanie explained, trying to take a picture of Penelope in the damn thing.
“Hey! Enough of that! Don’t you dare post it online!”
“You’re no fun.” Stephanie playfully pouted, but Penelope knew she was secretly saving the picture on her phone.
“Here, try these babies on,” Jasmine commanded, handing Penelope a pair of black pumps.
Penelope gave her a death glare, looking at the pumps as if they were snakes ready to attack. Jasmine didn’t wait for her to grab them, quickly dropping them on her outstretched hand. Without another choice, Penelope caught them and placed them neatly on the floor. She put one foot in, then the other, all the while praying that she wouldn’t fall and break her neck.
Jasmine let out a wolf whistle. “Look at that sexy momma right here! You go like that to the rehearsal dinner, and the guests will be talking about you the whole night.”
Penelope started shuffling her feet a little, trying to get used to wearing such high heels. “Why the hell would I want the guests to—” With an unlikely squeal, Penelope bumped into another body, causing her to immediately lose balance. She was waiting for the impact with the floor when she realized she was in the arms of a person. A very nice, muscular person.
Penelope blinked, trying to make out the face of her rescuer.
“Penelope?” the person holding her asked.
Her eyes made out each facial feature on the stranger until her brain caught up and realized who it was.
“Nick?”
“Penny?” the guy asked, holding her upright. “What a small world! How are you?”
Penelope smiled. “I can’t believe you’re here. I’ve been fine. Just tripping over myself like always.” She giggled nervously.
Nick helped her find her balance. “Yes, I can see you’re still the same ol’ Penny.” He smiled, his eyes skimming her body from the heels she was wearing to her face.
She blushed furiously, trying to laugh it off. “What are you doing here? I thought you moved to Boston after graduation?”
“I actually came to visit my grandma in LA.”
“That’s right!” Penelope exclaimed, unable to hide the smile on her face. “Does she still live in that house that looks like a log cabin surrounded by trees?”
Nick laughed. “She sure does. She asked for you. Well, she always asks for you whenever I talk to her.”
“That’s too sweet. I’m glad she’s doing great.”
Penelope returned his smile, remembering their friendship from college.
Then someone cleared their throat.
“Uh, Penny. Mind introducing us?” Stephanie spoke suggestively.
Penelope immediately became flustered. She’d completely forgotten her friends were sitting on the bench right there, watching the whole scene.
She cleared her throat, looking away from Nick. “Jazz, Steph, this is my college friend, Nicolas. Nick, these are my friends Jasmine and Stephanie. I met them at a writers’ convention and we’ve been friends ever since.”
“Very nice to meet you, ladies,” Nick responded, taking each girl’s hand and gently placing a kiss on their knuckles.
“Goddamn, Penny. I swear, where have you been hiding this beauty of a man?” Jasmine exclaimed enthusiastically.
“Jazz! You’re so embarrassing!” Penelope reprimanded just as Nick began to laugh.
“I’m flattered,” he replied, smiling.
There was a short moment of silence before Penelope spoke up. “Uhh, I’m gonna go change back into my clothes before I do any damage to these.” She walked back into the dressing room.
When she came out, Nick was sitting by himself on the bench.
“Where did those two go?”
“They told me they would meet up with you later. I’m grateful for it too. I want to know what you’ve been up to since college. It’s been what? Over three years since I last saw you?”
“Yeah, it has. Gosh, how time flies,” Penelope replied, taking in the sight of Nick. He looked thinner, more muscular, his coffee-brown hair clean-cut as opposed to the shoulder length he used to sport in school. He was wearing a white dress shirt with a pair of
perfectly fitted jeans. Boy, had the guy changed. Despite the difference, Penelope had always thought he was attractive, even with the unruly skater look he used to embrace.
“Working at a publishing house has definitely changed you,” she confessed, giving him a friendly smile.
“And you look amazing as always, although I kind of liked the ensemble you were wearing before.” He winked in good humor. They’d never been romantically involved. Their friendship was something valuable to them both.
Penelope laughed, shaking her head. “Take a walk with me,” she suggested as they fell in step with each other.
“Were you dressing up for a hot date?” Nick asked.
Penelope laughed heartily.
“I wasn’t trying to be funny,” he said, confused.
“Sorry, it’s just that I don’t date. I was actually looking for something to wear to the rehearsal dinner.”
“You’re getting married? Some friend you are! Who’s the lucky bastard that beat me to the punch?”
“You’re such a dork.” Penelope chuckled. “You can change the way you look, but you’ll always be the goofy skater boy I met in college.” She smiled. “Celeste is the one getting married.”
“Well, my congratulations. She deserves all the happiness in the world. When is your wedding?”
Penelope let out a whistle. “It’ll be snowing in LA the day I get a marriage proposal.”
He laughed and endearingly pinched her nose. “You always had a tasteless sense of humor,” he replied, a playfully reprimanding look on his face.
“You always loved me for it,” Penelope teased, smiling cheekily. “So what about you? Still talking to that pretty TA?”
“Alyson. We tried doing the long-distance thing for about two months before we realized it just wasn’t going to work out.” He shrugged. “We parted amicably, no drama included.”
“Glad to hear it wasn’t messy.”
“I’m sure you’re happy to hear I’m single. Now you’re allowed to seduce me all you want.”
Penelope couldn’t stop the bark of laughter that bubbled out of her throat. For the past few days she had been too busy sulking to actually laugh.
She’d met Nick her first semester of college. They’d sat next to each other in British Literature 305 and had partnered up to study. They’d become best friends for the rest of their college years. After graduation, they had to resort to phone calls once Nick left for Boston to work at one of the biggest publishing houses. Their phone calls turned to texts until they were both so caught up with their own lives that things tapered off. She’d forgotten how much she missed his boyish charm and easy smile.
“How long are you staying in LA for?” she asked.
“I actually have a few projects I’m working on while I’m here. So, technically I’m not on vacation even if I’m visiting my abue. Meeting up with a few clients, reading manuscripts, that sort of thing.”
“Geez, I’m jealous,” Penelope confessed, thinking about how much she would have loved to work at a big hotshot publishing house, if only she didn’t love LA so much.
“What do you do?”
“I’m a freelance editor. Work with authors on my own, create my own hours, most of the time my own deadlines.”
“And you’re the jealous one? You get to take your work everywhere.”
She smiled. “Well, I guess we both ended up doing what we wanted.”
Nick glanced down at his watch. “Oh, crap. Unfortunately for us, I have a meeting in about an hour. If I were free, I’d have stolen you from your friends to spend the rest of the afternoon with you.” He smiled apologetically, grasping her hands in his. “Well, it’s been fun catching up with you, Penny. We’ll have to get together before I fly back to Boston.”
They exchanged numbers, and with a quick hug, parted ways.
“Why didn’t you ever mention that hunk of a guy?” Jasmine snuck up on Penelope, Stephanie not too far behind.
Penelope looked between the two women, bewilderment in her face. “Were you two following us?”
“We weren’t following you. You guys were just walking where we wanted to walk is all.” Stephanie grinned like a Cheshire cat.
Penelope merely shook her head in defeat.
“So, why haven’t you mentioned him before?”
“There’s nothing to say. He’s just a friend from college.”
“I cannot believe you stayed a virgin when you had the opportunity to jump in bed with him!” Jasmine exclaimed, playfully nudging Penelope with her elbow.
“We never liked each other that way. Besides, he had a girlfriend.” Penelope shrugged.
“You mean had? As in past tense? As in I have a chance to snag him before anyone else gets an opportunity?”
For about the thousandth time that day, Penelope slapped her palm on her forehead. It was going to be a long afternoon.
* * *
Despite the awful way Jack had left the morning after their second night together, and the blow to her self-esteem, Penelope hardly had any time to think about him. Maybe it had to do with the fact that for the past few days Nick had been keeping her busy. He’d invite her to have coffee, which would then turn into lunch, and then dinner at his grandmother’s house. She was a sweet woman who loved her only grandson dearly. Conversations with her consisted of how proud she was of her querido Nicolas and a handful of Spanish proverbs about life and love.
“When will you and Nicolas finally realize that you were meant for each other?” she asked Penelope in Spanish one afternoon.
“Abue,” Nick quietly warned the woman.
“When your grandson finally realizes I’m the only woman for him,” Penelope playfully responded, winking at her friend.
Penelope smiled, remembering Nick in his college days. Although it wasn’t all that long ago, it seemed like ages since she’d last seen him, with his long skater hair, tattered sneakers, and ripped jeans. He was responsible for helping her overcome the damage high school had done to her. He always praised her successes and without knowing, enabled her to set goals for herself. Nick’s friendship had helped Penelope work on her self-esteem issues.
“Will you be my date for my sister’s wedding? Not as anything weird, just as friends,” she finally asked him at lunchtime on Friday. It was only a few hours before the blasted bachelorette party, but she was too busy watching the movie playing on her TV and eating her frozen yogurt to even bother getting ready.
“Really? Sure, I’d love to go. But I was under the impression you had a date already, as the maid of honor?”
“Nope. I’m not the maid of honor.”
Nick’s expression turned to one of confusion. “Then who is?”
“You might want to sit down for this one.” Penelope retold the story of how she came to meet Celeste’s friend “Jackie,” and their adventures as they worked together to get the wedding preparations done. She purposefully left out the fact that she had slept with the guy. Twice. And would probably do so again if given the opportunity.
“And where in that whole story did you fall in love with him?”
Penelope looked at him in surprise, her mouth full of cookie crumbs and frozen yogurt. “Who said I was in love with him?”
“No one has to say it out loud. It’s evident in the way you softly sigh when you mention his name, the way your eyes contain an added spark. I’m surprised the guy hasn’t asked you out. He should be your date to the wedding.”
Penelope laughed, shaking her head incredulously. “You’re hilarious. The guy is built like a Greek god. Those kinds of men go for the gorgeous, tiny-waisted supermodels with long legs. Which is just fine by me,” she added hastily, trying to hide the fact that she really did kind of care.
“Penny, you’re just as beautiful as the best of them.”
Penelope smiled and leaned toward him to kiss his cheek. “Thank you for always saying the right thing.”
“I only speak the truth,” he replied theatrically.
&nb
sp; She chuckled, turning her attention back to the TV.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
If you’re going to gamble, make sure you’re prepared to lose. If you’re going to take risks, make sure you’re prepared to tumble and fall. If you’re not a person who can stand to lose, play it safe. Sometimes the outcome isn’t what we want it to be, but loss is just another part of life. You just have to deal with it.
DIARY OF A WALLFLOWER: Entry 174
It was Monday again. A week had passed, yet Jack didn’t feel any better than he had a week before. He hoped the party had been a success, and despite the way things had turned for the worst between him and Penelope, she’d enjoyed every moment of their success.
“Is something wrong?”
He turned his head to catch the concerned look of the beautiful woman in the seat next to his, and forced a smile on his face.
“Everything’s fine. Why?”
“You look like you’re concentrating really hard on something. What’s got you thinking so much?”
He sighed. “Nothing, Amanda, just really happy you get to accompany me to this wedding.”
Amanda smiled all too knowingly. “You look like you’re preparing yourself for battle.” She chuckled. “Tell me what’s really on your mind.”
“I just left a few things unresolved a couple weeks ago.” His smile felt more like a grimace. All he wanted to do was jump off the plane. All because of a petite, curvy Latina with her light complexion enhancing the brown in her eyes and hair. Hair that was so thick and smooth. He could remember the aroma of lavender in his nostrils, and the feel of her hair surrounding him as she rode him.
The last night they’d spent together, Penelope had insisted on waking him up an hour after they’d had sex by sitting on top of him, rubbing her clit against his hardening cock. He’d been so surprised and excited that he was in danger of coming before she even got a chance to take him inside her. He forced himself out of his daydreams. It would be awkward if he were to get a hard-on with Amanda sitting next to him.