“These things take a while to figure out. There’s no timetable.”
“Have you ever had someone like me before? Someone in their thirties who has never had an inkling?” Avery asked.
“All the time. I think women can succumb to societal pressures in terms of sexuality more often than men. Women can immerse themselves in their mate and, in doing so, lose touch with who they are,” Dr. Milburn explained. “Tell me, Avery. Have you ever had a crush on a woman before? An actress? A friend?”
Avery thought for a moment. “I did have a close friend in school. She wanted to branch out and be a part of a group but I only wanted the one friend. I was so jealous of the time she spent with the other girls. I wanted her all to myself. But I never thought about her in a…a sexual way. I wouldn’t have. I was too young.”
“How do you feel about this woman you’ve been seeing?”
Avery inhaled. Butterflies flitted in her belly. “I don’t know if I can put it into words. Excited. Sort of…well… Hopeful.”
“Do you imagine doing things with her outside your fetish?”
“I’ve thought about making love to her away from the office, just to see what it’s like.” Avery stopped talking as she realized just how much Darby intrigued her.
“Has she made advances of that nature toward you?”
Avery shook her head. “Her relationship with her last patient ended badly. I think Darby is concerned about becoming too intimate.”
Dr. Milburn’s lips formed a sympathetic smile. “And intimacy is the very thing you’re trying to find.”
“It hasn’t even started yet and it sounds sort of hopeless, doesn’t it?” Avery asked. “Besides, she made it clear she’s not interested in that sort of relationship between us.”
“Have you considered that you might enjoy a future relationship with a different woman?”
Avery’s lips parted. Right now, she couldn’t think past Darby and how, after only two appointments, her entire world had upended. She felt as if someone had cracked her open sexually and then scrambled her senses.
Dr. Milburn shifted in his chair. “When we began discussing your fetish, you mentioned that you’d only ever imagined a female medical professional performing procedures on you.”
“Yes.”
“I think in the coming days, you should examine this attraction and need for female attention. Is your need based on the fetish or are you genuinely attracted to other women?” Dr. Milburn asked rhetorically.
Avery nodded, trying to sort it all out even now. The women in her fantasies had never had a face until now. “Do you think my attraction to Darby might be because she’s fulfilled my fantasy?”
“That’s possible,” Dr. Milburn said. “But there are myriad possibilities in the realm of fetish sex. The relationships can be very intricate and also delicate. You must understand that as much as you desire to submit, Darby needs to feel in control.”
Avery grimaced. “I totally took control away from her today. No wonder she freaked.”
Milburn nodded. “If Darby has set up ground rules, then I’m afraid your professional relationship might be at stake with her if you cross the line. You’ve got a lot to think about in the next few days. Feel free to call me if you need to sort things out by talking.”
As he stood, Avery gained her feet along with him. “Thanks for seeing me on such short notice,” she told him as she shook his hand.
Dr. Milburn was right, Avery thought as she left. She had a lot of things to mull over but first, she felt the need to apologize to Darby.
* * * * *
Darby’s heart skipped a beat as she heard Avery’s footsteps on the front stairs. When Avery had called and asked for just a few minutes of her time, Darby had considered refusing. Instead, she’d invited her to come back over—and to come in the front door.
Now she regretted it. After what had happened between them this morning, the last thing she should be doing was inviting Avery into her living room—and into her private life.
The doorbell chimed and Darby smoothed back her hair, steeling herself before opening the door.
Avery’s perfume filled Darby’s senses immediately, derailing her already slipping control. “Come in,” Darby said, horrified by the nervous tension evident in her voice.
She watched Avery’s gaze move around the room, taking in her comfortable floral-printed sofa and the pale-green, overstuffed armchair. It bothered Darby how much she wanted Avery’s approval of this space.
“Have a seat,” Darby told her as she sat in the armchair. Normally the sofa was her favorite sitting spot, but she needed to maintain physical and emotional distance. Truthfully, all she really wanted to do was take Avery by the hand and show her the bedroom.
“Thanks,” Avery said, the tone of her voice indicating she was every bit as uncomfortable outside their usual clinical setting. She sank onto the sofa, perching on the edge of the cushion. “I had to do this in person,” she began. “I owe you an apology.”
No! It’s all right. But Avery didn’t give Darby the opportunity to say what she was thinking.
“I never should have crossed the line. You told me what your rules were at the beginning. I agreed to them. I’m sorry. I want you to know I respect you more than that and I won’t do it again,” Avery divulged.
Darby stared. And then, horrified, she heard herself uttering words that were in direct opposition to what she really wanted to say.
“It’s okay. I’m glad you came here. I really want to keep our relationship as professional as possible. For both our sakes. I’m glad you understand.”
Avery’s bottom lip trembled for a split second. “Yes. Of course. Professional.” She stood. “So, I’ll see you for our appointment next week.”
Darby stood too. Would you like to stay for a cup of coffee? She bit her bottom lip to prevent herself from issuing the invitation. “I’ll see you Tuesday at ten.”
* * * * *
Darby checked her patient’s vitals. Mr. Schneider would probably be gone by sundown, but he seemed resigned to that fact. “I’ll check back in a few minutes,” Darby said to his wife.
“Could you…could you stay for just a little while?” Mrs. Schneider asked.
There were charts to mark and other patients to see, but the imploring look in the soon-to-be widow’s eyes made Darby’s decision for her. “Sure.”
Mrs. Schneider gazed at her husband. “When I married him forty years ago, I never gave this moment much thought.”
Darby shifted her weight from one foot to the other. This moment was foremost in her mind when she met someone. The pain in the eyes of the family members haunted her. It was a day that would come for everyone. How could Mrs. Schneider not have been terrified every day that she would lose a piece of her heart when she lost the man she loved?
Mrs. Schneider’s gaze lifted to Darby’s. “Are you married?”
Darby shook her head. Suddenly, she couldn’t speak. Her throat constricted and she felt as there was a huge knot in her chest. While she’d never been able to harden herself to the act of dying as some of her colleagues had, she’d also tried desperately not to let the patients in as individuals. They were names on charts. Room numbers. Nothing more.
So why now?
“A pretty girl like you?” Mrs. Schneider asked with a wistful smile. She stood and crossed her arms over her chest. “How long have you worked on this floor?”
The question surprised Darby. “Nearly five years.”
Mrs. Schneider’s pale gray eyebrows lifted. “You should transfer to obstetrics. A lot more smiles on that floor.”
“Were you a nurse?”
“For fifty-two years,” Mrs. Schneider said proudly. “But honey, you’ve got to stop taking your job home with you.”
Darby felt her eyes widen. A shard of panic struck. Had rumors circulated about her fetish? “I’m not sure what you mean.”
“We all do it,” Mrs. Schneider explained with a wave of her hand. “But
if you’re not careful, you can let fear prevent you from having a real life, from getting close.”
At first, anger trilled in Darby’s veins. This woman didn’t know her!
The elderly lady’s gaze shifted back to her husband and she reached down to lovingly stroke his thin white hair. “I wouldn’t trade any of it. Not one minute. I love this man as much today as I did the day I married him. It hurts like the devil to let him go, but that, too, is just a part of life.”
Darby felt a tear slipping down her cheek. She blinked furiously and swatted more tears away with the back of her hands.
Mrs. Schneider leaned over and gave her husband a sweet kiss on the forehead. “There was far more joy than sadness, wasn’t there, Jim?”
Darby quickly excused herself and fled into the hallway. Her aching heart was pounding. Her eyes stung. She gulped air, trying to pull herself together. But it wasn’t grief for the Schneiders she felt. It was sadness for herself.
She’d always taken great pride in how well she handled one of the toughest jobs at the hospital, but perhaps she’d only been fooling herself. Maybe it was time to request a transfer.
And maybe it was also time to reevaluate other aspects of her life.
Chapter Three
Tuesdays and Wednesdays became Avery’s regular appointment days. She arrived on time, eagerly submitted to various exams and kept her relationship with Nurse Lovette strictly professional. A month after her first appointment, though, and Avery’s fantasies now included daydreams of making love to Darby in a bed.
Avery had resigned herself to the idea that if she wasn’t a full-blown lesbian, she was at least bisexual, with her leanings toward women stronger than those she felt for men. The idea that she could have a relationship with a woman both excited and terrified her.
And lately, the idea of having a relationship with Darby, in addition to the sexual freedom she’d discovered during their appointments, consumed Avery’s thoughts.
Avery undressed, donned her paper gown and climbed onto the examining table. After tomorrow’s session, she decided she would tell Darby she couldn’t see her anymore. It was too difficult being attracted to a woman who either didn’t want to, or couldn’t, return Avery’s affection.
While Avery thoroughly enjoyed the fantasy of her medical fetish, for the first time in her life, she truly longed for something more. A real relationship based on mutual attraction.
A knock sounded on the door and Nurse Lovette entered the room. She flipped through the chart, made a couple of notes and then pulled on her gloves. “Lie on your side. Time to check that temp.”
Avery’s pussy clenched as she assumed the usual position. Left side. Knees up. Her blood heated as Darby’s practiced hands inserted the thick, lubricated shaft of the specially designed thermometer. Avery moaned as the instrument filled and stretched her to capacity. She clutched the side of the table, needing to rock, needing to be fucked.
Darby must have sensed her desire because she began slowly pistoning the thermometer. In to the point of taking Avery’s breath, and then out, slipping just past the rim before intruding once more.
During the last few visits, Nurse Lovette hadn’t allowed Avery to come early on. Instead, the naughty nurse tortured Avery, taking her on a tension-rife ride until pleasure crashed over her with such intensity, she lay panting on the table for several minutes until she could gather her wits about her once more.
“Get on your knees,” Nurse Lovette said, holding the thermometer as Avery twisted onto her knees.
“I’m going to compare your vaginal temp to your anal temp,” Nurse Lovette told her, and Avery jolted as something long and hard and cool slid into her pussy.
Avery’s body shook as she adjusted to the alternate push and pull going on between her legs. The anal probe entered and the one in her channel withdrew and then vice versa, until Avery lost herself in the rhythm. It felt…perfect. Wonderfully perfect. An immaculate blend of pain and sheer pleasure. Her legs trembled as she strained to accommodate both probes.
This time, Avery didn’t have to wait for bliss. Her focus fixed on both thermometers, to those moments when both were inside her at the same time, just an inch or so deep. She felt her bottom suddenly relax and suddenly an orgasm racked her frame. A low, keening moan escaped her lips and she could do nothing to silence herself. Her fingernails dug into the leather covering on the table. Perspiration broke out along her spine and heat inflamed the back of her neck.
Both her pussy and her ass constricted around the probes, intensifying and drawing out her pleasure. Avery took it, fighting the need to beg Darby to stop. It was so good, it was almost too much.
“Darby…” she moaned before she could prevent herself. “Oh sweet—” This time, Avery managed to stop herself short of crying out her nurse’s name again.
The probes slipped out and Avery wilted on the table. She lay there catching her breath as Darby wiped her bottom free of the generous lubricant. Avery’s heart pounded. She needed to kiss Darby, to hold her and tell her how wonderful she’d made her feel. But Avery knew she couldn’t. She’d made a promise.
“Turn over on your back now. I’m going to examine your breasts.”
Avery slipped her gown off and rolled onto her back. Her gaze met Darby’s as the nurse’s warm hands plumped one of her breasts. Avery knew she should look away. She knew her expression revealed too much. Too much desire. Too much interest.
But what was that lurking in Darby’s blue eyes? And this touch… It wasn’t clinical. It was a caress. Darby pinched Avery’s nipple and tugged gently, reigniting the tremors in her pussy.
Avery sucked in a sharp breath as Darby toyed with both nipples. She plucked and twisted. Tweaked. Their gazes held for a heart-stopping moment longer and then Darby bent and took a diamond-hard nipple into her mouth.
Avery gasped. Her hands lifted off the table, instinctively moving to hold Darby’s head, but Avery caught herself. She couldn’t touch her. It would be too intimate. She’d promised.
A soft, warm tongue laved her nipple. Lips and teeth grazed and sucked—and then Darby’s mouth moved to Avery’s.
Avery’s heart ran wild as this time she did thread her fingers into Darby’s soft hair. Their mouths connected, their tongues warring. Darby moaned and Avery opened wider to the already impossibly deep kiss.
What was happening?
One of Darby’s hands slid down Avery’s abdomen, reaching lower and lower until the fingers found her swollen clit. Avery’s thighs fell open as she rocked into the touch. Don’t stop. Please, don’t stop. She wanted to cry out words of encouragement, to tell Darby how much she’d needed this, but she couldn’t. This was like a dream from which she might awaken at any minute and find herself in the cold examining room, fighting her lust for this woman.
But it didn’t stop.
The fingers pressed and circled, faster and faster. The invisible thread between Avery’s mouth and nipple and clit grew taut until Avery feared something inside her would snap.
Her need to touch Darby was almost painful. Need crackled in the air around them. But it wasn’t just physical need. It was something deeper and far more dangerous. Something that would undo a relationship currently based on preventing intimacy. Avery ached to ease Darby’s desire, to please her and bring her to orgasm—to share something more than sexual release.
Darby dragged her mouth away from Avery, who gazed up at her, dazed. Confused.
“I knew you’d shatter my self-control.” The fingers still massaged her clit, bringing her closer to the brink once again. “It’s my fault. All mine,” Darby said, and covered Avery’s mouth with hers again.
This time, Avery reached for Darby’s breast, cupping the soft flesh and squeezing gently.
“I’m gonna make you come again,” Darby whispered against Avery’s lips.
“Yes,” Avery arched, grinding against the fingers circling her clit.
Darby’s hand pressed a little harder and stroked a f
raction faster. Avery couldn’t close her eyes. She wanted to watch, to see everything. Her thighs quivered. Her breasts shook. Darby’s hand on her pussy blurred. The fingers tormenting her nipple tightened. Avery’s eyelids grew heavy, wanting to close, wanting to…
“Oh God!” Avery cried, her voice strangled. “Oh God, I’m coming!” The breath stuck in her throat. Her channel contracted and her clitoris pulsed but Darby didn’t let up the pressure. Avery spiraled, sinking into the depth of her release, knowing an irrevocable change had happened between them.
No matter what Darby wanted, and no matter how hard Avery tried, they had torn past their self-imposed barricades. They were more than patient and nurse now.
Still shuddering, Avery lifted her chin, seeking Darby’s mouth. Tears dampened Avery’s eyes as this time she claimed Darby’s lips, burrowing her fingers into the woman’s silken hair, holding her close as she poured her need into the kiss. She ached to get closer. What was this emotion driving her to risk everything? She suddenly felt a desperation she’d never known before. She’d certainly never felt anything like this for either of her husbands.
Was she driven by the fetish or was this something more?
She’d give anything to find out.
Darby drew away. Interest sparkled in her blue eyes.
Avery quickly put a finger over her lips. “Don’t say anything. Don’t.” She couldn’t bear another rejection. “I want to make another appointment.”
Darby’s chest rose and fell with a deep breath. She gave a little nod. “Get dressed and come out to the front desk,” she said, assuming her professional air once more.
After Darby left, Avery climbed down from the table and cleaned herself up with tissues before dressing then washing her hands. Her entire body still sang with the intensity of her orgasms. She still tasted Darby’s kiss on her lips.
Nurse Lovette Page 4