by Leona Fox
“I suppose you're ready when you feel you can give them every bit of your heart and soul, and you can trust them with any secret you've ever had. I also think that being afraid of emotional pain isn't a good reason to cut yourself off from people, because we need that pain to make us appreciate all the good things.”
It wasn't much in the way of advanced philosophy, Ellen thought, but it would have to do for now. She hoped she had helped Kelly in some small way but it was clear Matthew wasn't the only one with a lot on his mind. Shortly after this conversation they reached the address of Susan Martin and pulled up outside.
“Let's see what this one has to say,” Kelly said as she rapped loudly on the door.
Echoing footsteps could be heard beyond the door as they heard a latch being pulled. The door opened slightly, but was still kept on a chain. Two beady eyes peered out at them. Ellen introduced the two of them. Then she explained they were working with the East Pender police on a case involving Gary Speed, and they'd like to ask a few questions. Upon mention of the man's name the door opened and they were faced with a pale, thin woman.
“What is it? Is he okay?” she asked, chewing her lip fretfully. Ellen glanced at Kelly. This was the part of her role she hated the most.
“I think you'd better sit down,” Ellen said, and followed Susan into the lounge where she perched herself on the edge of a seat.
Ellen recounted the fact that Gary had died and as she said it Susan burst into tears. Kelly went to the kitchen to fetch a glass of water and placed it into Susan's hands. She proceeded to take small, birdlike sips.
“I knew it. I knew it. I told myself I was worrying over nothing and that he'd come back but I knew that something had happened to him,” she said. “Oh God, this is all such a mess. How did it get up to this?”
Neither Kelly nor Ellen had an answer for her. They waited patiently as Susan digested the news, and when she had caught her breath they launched into their questions.
“Some of this might be difficult to hear,” Ellen began, “but we have to be honest with you and we need you to be honest with us if we're going to get to the bottom of this case.”
“I understand,” Susan said, nodding.
“Can you tell us how you and Gary met?”
“Sure,” Susan said, shifting her position and running her hand through her thin hair. Ellen got the impression it once had been lustrous but a lifetime took its toll on Susan's beauty and her glow had faded through the years.
“It was, um, okay, don't think bad of me, but it was when I took my husband there for counseling. Eric, that's my husband, he'd always had a temper but it had been getting out of hand and one night he'd been drunk and attacked someone over...something stupid. I don't even know what,” she said dismissively, with much bitterness in her voice. It was clear she had little affection for the man to whom she was married.
“But we'd heard good things about Gary and that he actually was able to help people. Of course Eric didn't want to go at first. He said it all would be a waste of time but I talked him into it, and it seemed to go pretty well. I only met Gary in passing back then but Eric spoke really highly of him. One evening I guess I was hanging around and Gary came out to get something from the vending machine. I asked how my husband was doing. Gary said he was doing fine and then...I can't remember what…the vending machine wouldn't work. I think he was trying to get a Twix. He made some joke about it and it just made me laugh. Given everything that had been happening with me and Eric it had been a long time since I'd done that.
I don't know...something just clicked between us, I guess. It was ironic, really. After Eric started counseling he said he wanted to continue because he wanted to repair our marriage but I started seeing Gary. At first I told myself we were just friends, and that it was going to help me to know my husband's therapist. But I was lying to myself.”
“Did you know he also was seeing someone else in East Pender?” Ellen said. Susan nodded slowly.
“He told me he'd been with someone there but he ended it. I know you must think I'm an idiot but it had been a long time since anyone had made me feel desired, and the way he treated me...it made me feel like I was young again and could make up for all the lost years. We spent as much time together as we could but it never seemed enough. I was going to leave him, you know, my husband. Gary and I were going to start a new life together. He said he had it all worked out.”
The realization that the life she had planned for herself was not going to happen now brought tears to her eyes again and she began sobbing. Ellen knew she wouldn't be able to get much more information out of her but she had a couple more questions to ask.
“Did your husband know of your affair? And have you seen him recently?”
Susan nodded. “I think so. He never told me outright but he could sense I was pulling away from him. He'd seen me and Gary together when he'd been to counseling. And no, I haven't seen Eric for a while. I thought he understood since we decided to break apart. He wanted us to work things out but I told him that we couldn't. That's why Gary and I wanted to leave, because we wanted to get away from Eric.”
“Did he threaten you?” Kelly asked.
“No, but he didn't have to. I know what he's like. Gary and I just...we just wanted to start a new life together. We made each other happy, in a way that I think we both needed. Gary just said he needed to sort out a couple of last things in East Pender and then we would be happy. And ever since he left I had this dreadful feeling in the pit of my stomach that something would go bad. Now I don't know what I'm going to do.”
She collapsed in tears and her head fell into her hands. Her body shook and trembled but although it pained them to do so, Ellen and Kelly had to leave. They tried comforting Susan as best they could, but what use was comfort when a future had been torn apart?
“That was rough,” Kelly said.
“Yeah. Strange, isn't it? A man like Gary, who pretty much everyone said couldn't get along with anyone else, ended up getting caught between two women. But I think we have our murderer,” she said as she turned the key and began the drive back to East Pender, where Andy was waiting for them.
Chapter 8
Andy was waiting at the station for them, ready to hear what they had to say. First, he thanked them for going all the way out to West Callow.
“You really could have told me you needed to go out there and I could have sent someone,” he said.
“You know what she's like when she gets excited,” Kelly said, referring to Ellen.
They quickly briefed him on what they had learned from Susan and gave their thoughts. Both of them now were convinced Susan's husband was responsible for Gary’s murder.
“You don't think Diana could have done it? He was just about to embark on another life with someone else,” he said.
“I think Diana felt sad more than anything. I don't think she had the strength to be angry with Gary,” Ellen replied, and that perhaps made her feel more pity for the jilted woman than she would have liked to feel.
“But Eric...he had more than enough reason to feel angry and betrayed. Given his track record with violence I can't see that it could be anyone else. Right now we just need to find him.”
“I can call the West Callow police and have them detain him for us,” Andy said. “I'll also get them to send over his files so we have a clearer idea of who we're dealing with.”
Kelly and Ellen got some coffee while Andy went through to his office and called his counterpart in West Callow. It was a short conversation, very businesslike, and when Andy returned he said the West Callow officers were en route to Eric’s last known address. Apparently he'd been renting a motel room on the edge of town after he and Susan had separated, and all they had to do was wait. But about half an hour later Andy received another call from the West Callow police chief, who spoke with a very apologetic tone. Andy had a grave look on his face as he put the receiver down.
“What's wrong?” Ellen asked.
“Eric wasn't there. H
is room was completely cleared out and they had some other bad news for us. Something Susan neglected to tell us. Her ex-husband used to be in the army, specializing in ground combat. There's no sign of him in West Callow but they're putting a protection detail on Susan just in case.”
“But if he's not in West Callow then...he's still here?” Kelly said, looking between Andy and Ellen with wide eyes.
“They think he's probably reverted to his training. He knows he's being hunted now so he's going to take measures to protect himself.”
“He'll be out in the forest. What better way to hide himself? And if we don't catch him soon it'll be the perfect alibi. He can't be convicted of the crime if there was no trace he was ever here,” Ellen said, and the enormity of their task slowly became apparent to the three of them.
It had been only a few days since Gary had been murdered and Eric could be anywhere in the forest. It was a wide-ranging forest that stretched in a ring around the town, acting as a natural barrier to the outside world. Now it, too, had become the enemy, hiding Eric, who was lurking in its green shadows. If the man was not apprehended soon, then who knows where he would strike next? If he snapped then, given his training, anyone else could be in danger, and if he did make it out to West Callow, so was Susan. If he got away, then a murderer would have escaped without punishment and Ellen wasn't about to let that happen.
“We have to find him,” she said.
Andy quickly summoned his men and divided them into teams. A huge map of the forest was spread out on a table. Kelly drove Ellen back to where Matthew was looking after Scampy so she could pick up her dog. Ellen and Matthew shared an awkward glance but Ellen quickly gathered up Scampy.
“We're going to need your help, boy. Are you ready?” she said. Scampy barked in response and wagged his tail energetically.
“What's going on?” Matthew asked.
“We think we know who the killer is but there's a problem. He used to be in the army and we think he's in the forest, trying to hide from us. He thinks he's being hunted..,” Kelly replied.
“He is,” Ellen said grimly.
“Are we ready to go?” Kelly said.
Ellen looked at her and then at Matthew, who had a pained look on his face. A look she knew well. There was so much worry etched on his face, and yet she knew he wouldn't voice his concerns for fear of being seen as too over-protective. Instead, Ellen pulled Kelly aside and spoke in a low voice.
“I think maybe you should stay here with Matthew,” she said.
“What? Why? I'm a part of this as much as you and you can't cut me out now, not when it's about to end.”
“I'm not trying to cut you out; I just think the two of you should talk about your feelings. Look, this is dangerous and we don't know what Eric is really capable of. There could be traps in the forest or...or anything! And we've already seen what happened to Susan when the man she loved was taken from her. Can you imagine what it would be like if something happened and you weren't able to be open with Matthew before it was too late?
You asked me how you knew if you were ready to marry someone and I think a lot of people over-complicate it. It's about trusting each other with your fears, being vulnerable with them. You've got something good here, it's time to trust him. Please, just take this moment to talk with him. We have enough people searching, one body isn't going to make the difference there, but it could make the difference to you.”
Kelly was about to argue back but upon seeing the plaintive look in Ellen's eyes her anger was quelled. In that moment she realized Ellen only wanted the best for her, and that it must have been important if she was willing to tell Kelly not to join in on the search. After she looked at Ellen she glanced over at Matthew and saw the worry in his face. She knew it wasn't fair of her to keep running around into danger, especially not when she had been keeping her distance from him. For all of Kelly's worries she did care deeply for Matthew, and appreciated Ellen's insistence that she confront her feelings. She walked over to Matthew and told him she was going to stay with him.
Ellen inwardly breathed a sigh of relief as she wanted the two of them to talk and this seemed to be the opportune moment. She hoped that after seeing the devastating effects secrets had had on Gary's relationships, Kelly would open with Matthew and, in turn, he would feel comfortable talking about his feelings as well. Then the two of them could come to a better understanding about where they stood in their relationship. Ordinarily, Ellen wouldn't like interfering like this but Kelly needed a prod, and had influenced Ellen's relationship with Andy. So Ellen decided turnabout was fair play.
Ellen left the couple to talk and she went away with Scampy to rendezvous with Andy at the police station. When she got there she saw a number of people getting ready with all manner of gear for searching. Andy was coordinating everything but he spared a moment to welcome Ellen with a kiss. She smiled. There had been a time when they would have been too embarrassed to display their affections publicly but now it seemed natural, and nobody else batted an eyelid.
“We sent word around town just in case anyone had seen any sign of him but nobody has. It's going to be potluck. We're looking for a needle in a haystack,” he said.
“We'll find him. With everyone here working together, we'll get him,” Ellen said, and Scampy barked as if to agree.
It didn't take long before everyone was ready. They all moved out to a starting point, the most likely place the experts had decided Eric would have escaped from the town. Dusk was approaching and long shadows stretched across the ground. Ellen glanced at the dipping sun and chewed her lip worriedly. If another night passed, who knew where Eric would end up? The green forest stood before them, its lush green foliage Eric's armor, covering his movement. The bushes and leaves melted together to form a web that was treacherous to cut through. He had killed already, both in combat and in cold blood, and his state of mind was such that being here was dangerous. Yet there was nowhere else Ellen would rather be. This is what she lived for now, to bring criminals to justice.
Even so, it was difficult not to have sympathy for Eric. He evidently had been through a difficult time in life. He had served in the army, given his time to defend the country against its enemies, been encouraged to fight and use his instincts to kill and destroy in the name of protecting his country. Now he was doing the same thing and yet it was illegal, wrong, and it must have been confusing for him. Right and wrong were blurred in his mind. He had gone to Gary to try getting better, to heal his psyche and repair his failing marriage but the two people he had trusted the most had betrayed him. His wife and his therapist had embarked on an affair. Ellen felt great pity for the man, for she couldn't imagine the disappointment and sense of sheer despair that followed from knowing that all he had worked for, all he had striven for, was worthless.
Yet it was not her place to make moral judgments on these matters. Gary and Susan may have made mistakes and they may have done wrong by Eric but that was no excuse for murder. There was no excuse for murder. In her youth she thought the world was cast in black and white and everything had a right and a wrong answer, that there were two clear, distinct paths leading away from each other. But as she had grown older she realized there were shades of gray in between. Moral questions and issues got muddled, but there were some things she knew to be inherently wrong, some things that were etched into her soul just as The Ten Commandments were etched into stone tablets, and one of those was that murder is wrong. To take someone's life, to take away everything they had and everything they were going to be, was a crime against nature itself.
As much as Ellen felt pity for the circumstances surrounding Eric Martin's life, she could not excuse his actions in killing Gary. No man deserved that fate, and as she looked around at the men and women around her, ready to embark on a search into the heart of the forest, she only hoped Eric would see reason and give himself up before there were any other deaths.
“Come on boy, let's go,” she said, wondering if Scampy knew the dangers
that lay ahead.
He was a brave dog, and she was glad to have him by her side. The hunting party swept through the forest in a line, and Ellen's heart was in her mouth. It was quite possible they would find Eric at any moment, and it was equally possible they could comb the forest for days without finding any sign of him. Ellen was determined to keep going. Even as the dead of night closed in, she fought to continue even though the others were telling her it was hopeless. Eric Martin remained free another night, much to Ellen's frustration.
Chapter 9
After Ellen had left, Kelly and Matthew stood awkwardly with each other. Despite their affection for one another there was a tension between them that was difficult to acknowledge but impossible to ignore. It stemmed from the fact they had not been open with their feelings. Often in relationships there comes a point where it is too late to say the things that need to be said. Sadly, for Kelly and Matthew they were fast approaching that point of no return.
“I have to say, I'm glad you're not going with them,” Matthew began.
Then he moved to the sofa where he took a seat, although his body was rigid with tension. From the way he spoke it seemed as though there was always something else he wanted to say, but the words he ended up speaking were mere replacements.
“I suppose I am, too, but sometimes I feel like I never do enough. I want to be involved more. I like helping Ellen and Andy, but sometimes I feel like I'm just...like I'm a sidekick,” Kelly said.
She remained standing and turned away from Matthew. Ellen had wanted her to stay so they could talk about the things that really mattered but now that she was alone with him she didn't know if she could. It had been so long since she had been with anyone that to cross that bridge was a daunting prospect. Kelly was unsure if she had the fortitude to take those first steps.
“I think we both know Ellen couldn't do it without you. I'm just glad that in this instance you're kept safe. I'll never understand it myself, putting yourself in danger like that. It's bad enough to know there's a killer on the loose and he's so close by, let alone going out there to look for him,” Matthew said.