"Yes, they've been waiting anxiously for over an hour, the poor dears. I've given the servants a week off, with pay, and soon I'll have six guards posted outside, so that we aren't disturbed during our stupor. It's a common enough practice among the wealthy. Now, let me see Kodo."
Kren put the head on a table, and put the rest of his booty in a drawer. The head looked at Bronki, scowled, and blinked. He tried to open his mouth, but was hindered by the tie-wrap. A severed Mitchegai head is capable of staying alive for hours, as is that of an Earthly turtle.
"You see, Kodo dear, trying to kill me was not a nice thing to do, and you are being punished for it. I suppose that you could call it a learning experience, but we will do the learning, and not you. Kren, could you please take the skull plates off of him, so I can get at the brain? I might as well do the dissection myself, and make some use of that doctorate of surgery."
She was marking neat, black lines directly on Kodo's bright blue brain, and labeling two of them for herself and five to give Kren Kodo's knowledge of architecture, business, and biology when Dol walked in unexpectedly.
"It's a problem I never expected to have," she said. "Even though I got the largest denominations of currency possible, my safe is completely packed solid with money! I've had to put a lot of it under my mattress, but that makes it very uncomfortable. I suppose that I will just have to put it all in the bank, but that will make the information available to the chancellor's accounting department, and then they'll make me pay taxes on it! But for a few day's Kren, do you suppose that . . . that . . . That's Kodo, the director of the College of Architecture, isn't it?"
"I'm afraid so," Kren said, his hand on his sword.
"And I suppose that you're going to dissect the brain and eat the parts with your name on them, a capital offense. And since I am a witness to your crime, the most practical thing might be for you to eliminate me, as well."
"That thought had occurred to me, yes."
"May I respectfully suggest an alternative, sir."
"You may, if you do it quickly."
"Right sir. Instead of killing me as an unwanted witness, why not make me into a second coconspirator? I mean, I see Bronki's name on two of the bits there. Now, Kodo had a doctorate of engineering, something that it would take me six more years of study to obtain on my own. Let me eat that part of him, and then both of you are safe from any threat of my betraying you."
Kren said, "Bronki?"
"Oh, I suppose so. Dol, I had completely forgotten that you were here. I mean, I had sent the servants away, and you used to be a servant, and, oh well. No harm done, I suppose. You'd better order another juvenal for dinner, though. You can start by helping us with ours, and then we'll help you with yours when she gets here," Bronki said, drawing in two more sections and writing Dol's name on them. "You see, Kodo? Everybody wants you. I don't think that you've ever been this popular before."
Kodo continued scowling and blinking, but that was the extent of his possible repertoire.
The door gong sounded, and Bronki said, "That's probably the guards. Would you please take care of them, Dol?"
Dol returned to report that they now had six guards, stationed in the hall, and around the main staircase.
"Shouldn't we have some out on the balconies?" Kren asked.
"Those windows are structural glass, Kren. It would take some extremely heavy equipment a long time to get through, and one of the neighbors would be sure to notice," Bronki said. "You'll understand all about it in a week or so, when you absorb your new Doctorate of Architecture."
"Then let's begin, shall we?"
Bronki said, "I'm ready," and was about to start cutting, with Kodo still scowling and blinking at her furiously, when they heard a commotion on the stairway. "Now what could that possibly be?"
"That is a minor battle going on, with at least a dozen combatants," Kren said.
"Oh, my. Well, we'd better arm ourselves, in case the guards can't stop them," Bronki said.
Bronki reached inside her cloak and drew out her pistol, and some spare clips of ammunition.
"Do you always carry that thing?" Kren asked.
"Generally."
Kren picked up his spear, in addition to the sword, which he was already wearing. "Were you wearing it when I attacked you at your retreat?"
"Of course."
"Then you could have easily killed me."
"That was plan B, if you didn't listen to reason. But it would have left me on the floor out of reach of my telephone and my computer. Come, there isn't much time."
He gave the spring spear to Dol, saying, "Just put this thing against someone's body, and press this button."
"And then, what do I do?" Dol asked.
"Then you run away."
"Couldn't I do that first?"
"Come on. That sounds like the door is breaking," Kren said.
Bronki had positioned herself four yards in front of the door, standing behind a sturdy, waist-high chest. She had four clips of pistol ammunition neatly arranged on it.
Behind her, both of the party snacks were screaming mindlessly.
"That door won't hold. They're going to break through, so we might as well surprise them. Dol, stand over there, and then open the door very quickly when I tell you to. Kren, you take that side of the door, and do what you can about any of them who make it inside, but don't either of you dare to get into my line of fire. Ready? Open it, Dol."
The door quickly opened, leaving four startled Greenie fighters standing there with a battering ram in their hands, rather than their usual weapons.
Four shots rang out in quick succession, and all four of the Greenies holding the battering ram dropped with head wounds. Three more shots were fired into the crowd behind them, killing one and wounding two others.
Then a throwing star came flying out of the crowd, heading directly toward Bronki.
She fired her last bullet at it and was lucky enough to make a direct hit. It drove the poisoned throwing star back into the crowd, killing the surprised thrower, but it also shattered her bullet into a gross of slivers. Some of these small bits managed to hit Kren and Dol, wounding both of them slightly, and didn't do a half dozen of the Greenies any good, either. The heat generated by the impact burned them, but it also vaporized any traces of the poison, and thus probably saved the lives of Kren and Dol.
"Ouch!" Dol cried.
While quickly reloading, Bronki said, "I don't think that I could do that again if I practiced for a month!"
The rest of the Greenies charged the open doorway. Kren caught the first one in the neck, decapitating him. The second was killed by Dol, who was actually able to put her weapon against the Greenie's side and push the trigger.
It worked, with the blade severing the fighter's spine and coming out the other side.
Just penetrating the chest cavity would not have been debilitating, since the ribcage is rigid in the Mitchegai, and the volume in it contains little more than the esophagus, blood vessels, and four independent lungs.
The Mitchegai spinal column is centrally located, not at the back as in humans. This spinal column allows for more flexibility, more efficient use of musculature, and less massive vertebrae, but when severed, as in this case, it is just as disastrous as it would be with a human.
Kren gave Dol an assist by decapitating the crippled Greenie impaled on her spear.
"May I run away now?" Dol said.
Bronki put eight more carefully placed rounds into the Greenies, and then said while reloading, "I think that's the lot of them, but why don't you go out and make sure, Kren. I'll back you up. Dol, you'd better phone the captain of the guard. Tell him what happened, and have him send over six ambulances for his men, plus we'll be needing six more guards, if he has them."
Kren went through the carnage, chopping the heads off all that seemed to need it except for the six guards. Judging from the wounds, the guards had been able to kill three of their opponents before they were overwhelmed.
"I make it
twelve Greenies, six of our guards, and four students in Architectural uniforms," he said. "The guards didn't do too badly, considering the odds."
"That's probably all of them, then. Greenies usually work in groups of six or a dozen, and those four others are Kodo's guards. I recognize them. Let's make our guards as comfortable as possible, and then we'll flush the brains of the rest of this trash down the toilet. This had to happen just when I'd given the servants the week off, so we'll have to do all of the work ourselves. Oh, yes, and strip the academic garb off of those four. We wouldn't want to embarrass the College of Architecture."
Sorting through the carnage, Kren had a problem when he found two heads near one guard's body, and he wasn't sure which belonged to the guard and which belonged to a nearby Greenie body. Fortunately, the sergeant of the guard knew his own men well. Although he had been disemboweled and was in a great deal of pain, he was able to identify his own man.
"You did good," Kren told the sergeant. "You'll all be resurrected, I promise, and you'll probably all get commendations."
The sergeant grunted.
Kren put the guard's head on its own body, and chopped out the Greenie's brain.
The ambulances arrived, and took the guards off to the hospital. Kren figured that most, if not all, of them would need resurrection.
The captain of the guard phoned and said, "A new squad should be there in less than an hour, Bronki. How did my troops do?"
"They did you proud, Captain. They were terribly outnumbered, but they made a good showing for themselves, and they all died fighting."
"Good. They all deserve resurrection, then?"
"Absolutely. You may bill me for it as our contract stipulates. You can list me as a reference, if you want to. I'll even write you a testimonial letter."
"Thank you. I appreciate that. Please have the next bunch call me when they get there."
Bronki next called the Sisters of Charity, telling them that there was a large supply of meat here waiting to be distributed to the poor, and could they possibly pick it up tonight? Also, Bronki needed a receipt, so she could deduct the donation off of her income taxes.
Her next call was to the building's housekeeping department, telling them that she wanted the floors around the stairway on her level cleaned within two hours, and yes, she was well aware of the fact that it was Friday night.
There was a major pile of assorted weapons on the floor of Kren's room, and four bloody architectural uniforms hanging in his closet. Kodo's guards had also had their identifying shoulder brands cut off and flushed down the toilet.
Kren was stacking headless bodies out near the stairway, with a neat stack of brainless heads beside them.
Students and junior faculty members would occasionally scurry up and down the steps, pretending not to notice anything unusual.
The brander that they had tortured a few weeks before ran up the steps out of breath, came up to Kren, and said, "This is where Bronki lives, isn't it?"
He recognized her, but felt that he did not need further problems tonight.
"We're a little busy just now," he said.
"But she's got to help me! They're after me! There's no place else I can go, and she said she'd help me!"
"I believe that she was referring to academic help."
"You don't understand! There is a squad of KUL killers right behind me!"
"Would you please open your eyes and observe what I'm doing, lady? Do you see all of this fresh meat? This used to be a KUL hit squad. We have already killed them. You can go home now. You are safe."
"This can't be the same bunch! They're behind me, I tell you!"
"Okay, come on. I'll take you to Bronki. Maybe she can talk some sense in your head."
But as they went inside, Kren locked the battered but still functional door behind them. You never can be sure, after all.
Bronki was reloading her pistol clips. She started to hide what she was doing, and then decided to hell with it. The damage was already done.
The brander said, "Bronki, your friend here won't believe me, but there are a half dozen KUL killers after me! They're on their way here now!"
"I heard you talking to Kren in the hall. Don't worry. They are all dead now."
"But these can't be the same bunch! For one thing, I only had six of them after me, and you have two or three times that number piled out there. For another, they were three or four gross yards behind me two miles from here. I think that I was gaining on them, but . . ."
There was a loud crash at the door.
"Company is coming!" Dol shouted. She picked up her recocked spring spear and took up her old position by the door.
"Places, everyone!" Bronki said.
"Give me that," the brander said, taking the spring spear from Dol. "It's mine!"
Kren tossed Dol his military spear. "Take this. It works just the same way, only it's the manual model, without the button."
"Open the door, Dol," Bronki said.
There were four greenies there with a very familiar-looking battering ram. They had apparently found it in the hallway and had decided that a fast attack is a good attack.
Bronki's timing wasn't as good, this time. On the last round, the door had been opened immediately after the ram had struck it. The Greenies were taken when they were on the back swing. This time, it was opened just as they were about to strike the door again, and four of them piled into the room.
Bronki took out the front two, but as the next two fell on top of them, she opted for killing the two who were behind them, and were armed. Again, all four were head shots, the surest way to put a Mitchegai out of action, at least temporarily.
The two Greenies who had fallen came up on the bounce. Kren took out the one closest to him with a chop straight down on his head. Dol and the brander got the last one, putting two spears into her simultaneously.
When this last Greenie started to raise her sword, Kren took her head off.
"All part of the service, ladies," he said, with a smile to the others.
"Okay, everyone," Bronki said. "You know the drill. Kren decapitates and stacks, Dol, search them and put everything you find in Kren's room. And you, young lady, get to chop and flush the brains down the toilet. It would be nice if we could get this job done before the new guards get here. Fewer explanations would be needed."
"Yes, madam. And thank you for this help. Where's the toilet?" the brander asked.
"That way," Bronki gestured over her shoulder as she went about picking up her empty magazines and ejected cartridge casings.
Dol was carrying a double armful of strange weapons into Kren's room, when she found the brander staring at the head on the table.
"This isn't the toilet, is it?"
"No, this is Kren's room."
"And that was Kodo, wasn't it?" the brander asked. The head was staring at her, and scowling again.
"He still is. I think he's still alive. At least I hope he is," Dol said. The eyes on the disembodied head turned to Dol and blinked, so Dol continued, "Yes, I see that he is indeed alive and as healthy as possible, given the circumstances. Well, sir, you will be interested to know that we were recently attacked by two separate groups of KUL fighters, and I am delighted to inform you that we killed them all, losing absolutely none of the good guys, except of course for our six guards. Now you just sit tight, and we'll get back to you as soon as we can."
"I'm glad that Kodo is dead, or soon will be. He was a horrible person. But his brain has all of these lines drawn on it, like I saw once in a medical book, and some of those parts have all of your names on them. Does that mean what I think it means?"
"I'm afraid so. We'd best go talk to Bronki," Dol said.
On hearing what had happened, Kren drew his sword and said, "I suppose that I'm sorry, but we really weren't friends anyway."
Bronki said, "Now, none of that, Kren. Good artists are too rare to waste. But you see our problem, young lady. The rest of this killing tonight is simple self-defense, an
d we won't be punished for it. It's not even likely to land us in court. But the law views vampires a bit differently. Now, my suggestion to you is, would you like to join us? Kodo had a doctorate in fine arts. Would you like to have such an education? You could stay here until you recover, and in a week or two, you could be a very well-educated person."
"Given the alternatives before me, I would be delighted to join you in this endeavor," the brander said.
"Good. Now, let's all try to get everything done before our new guards get here."
"What I don't understand is why this second group just came charging in here, after seeing all those bodies in the hallway. You'd expect that such a sight would at least give one pause to think," Kren said.
"Quite possibly they thought that we must have been all dead or badly wounded after a fight like that one. Who would have thought that we could come through it with barely a scratch? But it's more likely that they actually couldn't think," Bronki said. "These KUL teams take a lot of heavy and illegal drugs before they go out on a hit. It makes them more aggressive."
"How stupid can you get?" Kren said as he went back to chopping, stripping, and stacking.
"One good thing is that I never got around to ordering another party snack," Dol said, as she went about her work. "I want to eat that first one I killed. I've never killed anybody before, not an adult anyway, and it was kind of fun! Do you want the other one that we killed together, uh, what is your name, anyway?"
The brander opened up her robe, showing them the collection of deep brands running down the front of her body, and said, "I think that from now on, you can call me Brandee."
"Well, I think that they are lovely," Bronki said, "and so are you. Now, hurry up everyone, because right after we have it all done, we get to eat!"
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
FROM CAPTURED HISTORY TAPES,
FILE 1846583A ca. 1832 a.d.
BUT CONCERNING EVENTS OF UP TO
2000 YEARS EARLIER
How Much Is that Duchy in the Window?
Kren awoke after over a week of strange dreams, relieved himself, and took a long drink of water. He sat down in the early morning light at the large table in his sitting room, where Dol was carefully cleaning, polishing, and sorting a big collection of strange weapons.
Kren of the Mitchegai Page 18