“Sorry. Aimee—are you okay?” Matt climbed through the fence and tried to help her up.
Whether it was anger at the fright he’d given her, William and Daisy or that he’d caught her out on her secret of learning to ride, she couldn’t say, but suddenly she was so angry with him, she couldn’t stop the verbal attack she rained on him. “Get your hands off me.”
“I was worried about you. I thought you couldn’t ride. I didn’t want you to have an accident.”
“You caused the accident. But wait—that’s what you like to do isn’t it?”
Chapter Sixteen
They stood so close that Matt could feel the anger vibrating from Aimee. Perhaps a similar anger that he’d felt a moment ago at the idea of her being hurt. She’d lashed out just as he had, saying things that weren’t meant. Although, she wasn’t wrong, he was an idiot.
He’d had a lot of time since they’d been back from Heaven Bay to think about everything Evan, Ben, his mother, and most importantly, Aimee, had said. Then holding sweet William he’d had an epiphany.
He wanted to be a good uncle, but he wasn’t a natural. Did that mean he wouldn’t try?
Not at all. Finally, he recognized his sabotage techniques for what they were. If he couldn’t be the best at something, he wasn’t interested, yet none of those thinks he’d risked his neck for were important.
He knew what was, and pushing Aimee away was no longer an option. She was all he thought about. She was the one who saw through his BS and called him on it. Usually in a nicer way.
Her arms crossed under her breasts and she glared at him. “What do you want from me?”
Sarah had headed back to the house with William, so they were alone.
“I was about to ask you the same question.”
She was taken off-guard, but rallied well. “Absolutely nothing.”
“What about us?”
“There is no us that isn’t about nurse and patient. I made that clear from day one,” she huffed.
“And yet you managed to put that relationship aside several times over the last few months, especially the last one.”
“That was an aberration I don’t intend to repeat. I think we’re done here.”
She began to open the gate but he grabbed her arm and pulled her to him. “We need to talk about this.”
“I’m done with talking.”
Her eyes fixed on his hand and he let her go, shocked by his forcefulness. “Look I said some things I didn’t mean. I’m sorry.”
“Are you truly sorry, or is that something to say to get your own way?”
He gave her a rueful smile. “I confess, I do want you to stay, and I am sorry. I’m not good with words.”
“That’s funny—I thought you did that for a living.”
He looked at her blankly. “Did what?”
“Told people how they should think or feel.”
“You think I’m shallow and dictatorial.” He was shocked.
She frowned. “Don’t put words in my mouth.”
“Then tell me how you really feel about me.”
“I’m not playing this game.” The words came out clipped, while her cheeks turned the color of his mother’s roses, the ones she’d grafted with tender care. Ridiculous as it was, he’d take that as a sign.
His heart filled with hope which caused words to spill out of his mouth. Words he wasn’t aware he was capable of. “It’s not a game to me, Aimee. I love you, and I want to be with you. If you don’t feel the same way then I won’t force you to stay.”
She’d taken a step away, now her body stiffened as she faced him. “You’ve changed so much since I came here a few months ago. You were a scared boy in a man’s body, with a penchant for being a daredevil, a love of fast cars, and anything else that could kill you. While you’ve grown up in a lot of ways, some of those characteristics are still with you.”
“I’m not sure how to respond. Thanks?” He saw the twitch to her lip, but kept quiet about that.
“I’m not in love with you, Matt, but I do like you a lot, so I refuse to wait around to watch you try to kill yourself, and one day potentially succeed.”
“You don’t love me, yet. Maybe one day you would.”
“Don’t hold your breath for that, and I won’t hold mine.”
“For what?”
She gave him a pitying look which bothered him more than her words. “For you to change into someone who’ll care enough about the people who do love you—not to scare them to death on a day-to-day basis.”
“I’m me. I can’t pretend to be anyone else, but I can try to be better.”
“I don’t want you to change for me. Do it for yourself. Goodbye Matt.”
As he watched her slip out the gate and walk down the driveway, a pain in his chest threatened to bring him to his knees. There was nothing he could say that could fix this. Nothing he could do to change her mind, because he was—
“You’re a fool.”
He turned at the scathing voice. “Go away, Ben.”
“Do you think I want to be talking to you about personal stuff? Again.”
The pain in his voice was real, but Matt wasn’t interested in another lecture right then.
“Seems to me the issue is that you are.”
His brother shrugged. “Sometimes choices are limited. I could walk away and leave you to wallow, like Aimee just did, but we both know how that ends.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’ll take off on your bike, and hope that the speed and danger will wipe her from your mind.”
Matt led Daisy back to her stall with Ben on his heels. “My bike’s totaled.”
“Like that would stop you. You’ll buy another or you’ll use a car, a boat, a plane. Whatever fits the bill at the time.”
“Shut up, won’t you? I’ve changed.” Matt removed the saddle and blanket.
“I grant you that. The question is—have you changed enough?”
Matt followed his brother’s gaze down to his own hands. They were clenched so hard, his knuckles shone white. The veins in the back of his hands stood out in stark relief, blue and bulging. His heart was beating too fast; sweat making his skin feel clammy.
Aimee had given him the tools to beat his anxiety. As much as it irked him, Ben was right. If he was going to beat his demons, he had to actually confront them. Jumping into danger was like running away. He had a reason not to this time. Or at least, it was a reason he felt he wanted to fight for.
“What can I do? I love her.”
Ben grinned. “Baby brother, that’s been obvious to the world for a couple of months. All you have to do is be the man that she needs.”
“What if I can’t be him?”
“Matt, you are him. Just get your head out of your backside and live the life you want. All those childish things that enabled you to cope with losing Dad and having to grow up too early, you don’t need them anymore.”
He shook his head. “I can’t believe you’re saying all this.”
Ben gave a wry grin. “There’s a certain redhead who won’t put up with me worrying about you and not doing anything about it. I daresay she’s a lot like Aimee. Anyway, Jenna made me come today. I had no idea things were going to blow up the way they did with you and your nurse,” he winked. “And, maybe I wouldn’t have said things the same way, ordinarily. But I stand by it. Are we good?”
Matt was a little choked up. “We’re good.”
They looked at each other for a moment, then, as if someone had yanked on a piece of string each of them was attached to, they stepped forward and hugged.
It lasted briefly, and when it was done, they stood back to awkwardly shake hands. Knight men didn’t hug, they rarely showed emotion, and in the space of a week, his two brothers had both hugged him. If he had to, Matt could get used to it.
Ben pushed him through the door. “Go get her, Tiger.”
“What? Now?”
“Not this minute, but when you have somethin
g to offer her that isn’t a lie.”
“Like a commitment?”
“I’m not saying a proposal, just something she can believe in.”
He wasn’t sure exactly what he could offer Aimee, but he knew now that he had to find a way. He wasn’t a coward any more, hiding behind danger, so that he didn’t have to worry about his shortcomings. He was a man in love with a woman.
Not just any woman. One who’d shown him how to be a better man, and he wasn’t going to give up.
Chapter Seventeen
When Aimee left the Knight’s residence, she felt her justification slip a little with each passing mile. Had she made a huge mistake?
Sure, her heart ached a little right now, and maybe she’d lied a little about not loving him, but damn it, she couldn’t stay with Matt and worry about him. Watching her mother kill herself over a lost love was enough angst for one lifetime. What was a little heartache now compared to the devastation that he’d leave in his wake?
At that moment, Aimee realized that she wasn’t headed home. On the outskirts of San Francisco was a large cemetery she visited regularly. She pulled through the ornate gates and drove to the far end where the poorer graves were.
After parking, she slowly walked to her mother’s plot. A small headstone held the name Rebecca Parker, the date of her birth, and when she’d passed away. It was all Aimee had been able to afford. She wished she’d thought to bring flowers.
“Hey, Mom. It’s just me.” Her hand caressed the stone. “I miss you.”
It was a simple truth, because despite the pain of having to deal with her mother’s mood swings, which at times had been embarrassing and hurtful, there had been times of love and happiness. Aimee chose to cherish those times and not dwell on the negative ones.
Kneeling, she weeded, and finding a tissue in her bag, she wiped some moss from around the stone. This section of the cemetery wasn’t tended as well as the more affluent area. She really should visit more often.
It was always bittersweet, but by the time she was ready to leave, she felt calmer. Her mother’s illness had made Aimee exceptionally good at compartmentalizing things.
Now Matt would be another part of her life that she could pull out from time to time. A reminder that you could love someone, but let them go, because they weren’t capable of loving you the way you needed to be loved. Because their illnesses, and yes, Matt had an illness, was winning, and they weren’t strong enough to fight it.
In the car, she rested her forehead on the steering wheel. Was she a hypocrite? The truth was that she wasn’t strong enough to stay. She slapped the wheel and sat up straight, her vision slightly blurred. She’d done her share. She needed to have her own life and not be a nurse twenty-four hours a day. It was too much to ask, twice in one lifetime.
Her determination was fine, until she arrived at her flat. Andy had given her the new keys some time ago, but she hadn’t felt the need to come home. Had perhaps even avoided it.
Even a beautiful new door with three shiny locks, could not detract from the smallness that had been okay before, because she was only there to sleep most of the time, now seemed claustrophobic.
Due to her being gone for so long, the curtains were moldy and the place smelled damp. She threw open the windows, but locked the door.
While Aimee might have conveniently forgotten how ugly the place was, she hadn’t forgotten that the neighborhood wasn’t particularly safe, especially since Andy having pointed it out to her so vividly.
She unpacked and was making a shopping list when she saw someone pass by her window, then there was a knock at the door. The new door had a peep hole, and Matt stood outside, looking sexier than ever, if that was possible.
Her heart skipped a beat. She told it to stop messing around, as she reluctantly opened the door.
“Hi, Aimee.”
Her mouth was dry and she had to lick her lips. “What are you doing here?”
“I’ve come to take you home,” he said, nonchalantly
She frowned. “I am home.”
“This is where you lived. Home is with me.”
His certainty rocked her, but she lifted her chin. Sweet talk wasn’t going to work. “We’ve been through this. I can’t take care of you.”
He stepped through the doorway and held her chin gently, looking deep into her eyes. “I want to take care of you this time. When I think of never seeing you again, it hurts so bad. I don’t want to do all the things that drive everyone crazy any more. All I want is you.”
She took his hand from her chin, yet seemed unable to release it. “It can’t be that easy. Sooner or later you’ll get bored and do something that could kill you.”
“If I find myself needing a bit of stimulation, then we’ll do things together.”
“You know I don’t like those kinds of things.”
He smiled, a naughty glint shining in his eyes. “We’ll do other things. Now you’ve flown once, we’ll travel and see things I’ve only glimpsed fleetingly because I worked too many hours. I’d like to see them through your eyes. And, I’ve made a huge decision, one that was staring me in the face all this time. You made it happen, Aimee. I’m going to take over running the Stables. The way it should be, as a going concern. Breeding racers is something I know a lot about, and I promise,” he added the last quickly. “I won’t be racing them.”
She was shocked. She’d tried everything she could think of to make him see sense, but by himself he’d found the one thing he would be happy doing instead of all that other stuff. It had been staring her in the face. His love and passion for the stables had been there all along. She should have seen it, because it was there when he looked at her.
Damn-it really was. But it wasn’t the only issue. “It sounds wonderful, but it’s a dream. You and I are too different.”
“Maybe so, but together, we work. You know it’s true, Aimee. You don’t have to do anything that makes you feel uneasy. Keep this apartment, rent it out, but come home. Give us a chance at least.”
She walked away from the look in his eyes. Her heart had decided, but her head knew how it could end and she was scared. Too scared?
His hand on her shoulder made her turn. “I love you Aimee. I think you love me. Be as brave and as fearless with this as you are with everything else. We’re worth it.”
Those blue eyes filled with love for her were her undoing. Her heart raced inside her chest. She wanted him. More than she’d wanted anyone. More than anything. Flying, sailing, and riding horses, wasn’t as frightening as what he was asking her to do, but she’d done them. For him? What did it matter in the end? He loved her.
She licked her lips once more. “We could give it a try.”
His eyes widened then he grinned like a loon and let out a whoop. Best of all he kissed her the way she wanted. Long and deep, he took everything she had to offer. When they finally came up for air, she tilted her head back to gaze at him, unable to believe what was happening.
He kissed her nose, her eyelids, her lips. “You’ve made me the happiest man alive. I hope you’ll be happy at Knight Stables until I can find us our own place.”
“You could always move in here.”
He looked around as if he was seriously considering it. “It might be a bit small for two people, but if that’s what you want.”
He truly was incredible. “Well, I’ve just finished unpacking, so it would be easier.”
He nodded. “Okay.” Then he saw her grin. “You’re going to keep me on my toes, aren’t you?”
“I’ll try.”
He lifted her off the floor. “This is the handful I prefer.”
The kissing led to other things and when they were done they lay face-to-face on her double bed. He ran a finger down her cheek, his eyes so close to her own.
“I’ve signed up for some therapy as well.”
Aimee gasped. “Really?”
“I need to make sure I’m whole, for both our sakes.”
“I’m so prou
d of you, Matt. It takes a strong man to admit his weakness.”
“With you, I don’t need fast and scary. With you I have everything: excitement, amusement, exhilaration, and love. You are my weakness, and the only one I don’t want to be cured of.”
Aimee felt a tear slip down her cheek. Matt had just given her the one thing she’d been so afraid of. Love.
She thought she’d experienced every feeling and emotion with the man in her arms, but a feeling so strong pushed through every cell of her body. She loved Matthew Knight.
She whispered the revelation into his ear, reveled in his delight, then she showed him the truth of it.
Thank you
Thanks so much for reading Reckless Billionaire the fourth book in my Billionaire Knights Series. If you enjoyed Matthew’s story and you haven’t read the others then you can find the links on the next page.
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About the Author
Cheryl Phipps is a USA Today Bestselling Author.
‘Never forget to laugh at yourself.’
As a young mother with three small children, Cheryl Phipps escaped the daily chaos of motherhood through her beloved romance novels. She loved being whisked away from nappies and wiping noses to exotic locations filled with suave heroes and feisty heroines, and wonderful small towns with heart-warming tales of strong family ties and life-affirming true love.
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