by Mike Befeler
When my shopping tolerance gave out, I let Marion continue while I sat on a bench to watch the mob scene of scurrying humans, buses, trains and helicopters. The temperature was in the fifties and people were outfitted in every combination of shorts, jeans, jackets and T-shirts. The buildings had fresh coats of paint, brightly decorated in yellow with green trim, reddish brown with yellow trim, rust with olive trim and navy blue with yellow trim. I guessed in the middle of twenty feet of winter snow you could pick out the right second story by the color combination.
A man plopped down next to me on the bench. “Phew,” he said. “I can’t keep up with my wife when shopping.”
“I know what you mean,” I replied. “I ran out of gas after three stores, but Marion is still going strong.” As he leaned toward me, I noticed his shirt read “Oldster from Reno” and remembered something from my journal. “I sat next to some folks from your group at a bingo game.”
He chuckled. “There are fifty of us on this cruise. We’re everywhere.”
“Do you travel in a herd like this often?”
“Once a year we have a major expedition. Last year we went to Hawaii and the year before the Caribbean.”
“So Alaska is the recipient of your presence and tourist dollars this summer.”
“Yup. And we’re taking the forth-ninth state by storm.”
“Do you know Julian Armour?” I asked.
“Yes, indeed. He’s one of our ringleaders.”
I didn’t mention that I thought Julian should be left in a cage rather than allowed into a ring.
He spotted some other members of his group and charged off to join them.
I continued to reconnoiter the street scene, glad that I had the reprieve from shopping. I watched a small boy with a huge smile on his face hug a stuffed moose. Ah, the wonders of youth, when a stuffed animal could provide so much pleasure. Kind of like when I enjoyed a morning when I knew who I was and what was going on. Maybe I could have a custom-made stuffed moose with a recording inside that played when I pushed its stomach, “You’re Paul Jacobson and you remember squat overnight unless you’ve had a little hanky-panky with your wife Marion the night before. Stay away from dead bodies.”
Other people collected stamps, coins or model trains. I seemed to be collecting crime accusations. But the bright sunny Alaskan summer day was too nice to allow me to feel sorry for myself. I had to count my blessings. How many old farts my age could still be wandering around on two solid legs, newly married to a young thing in her seventies and being chased by a bear at a glacier? I had to be grateful for my life, however much was left of it. Time to suck it up and get on with figuring out who had killed Inese. I decided to check in again with Ellen Hargrave when we returned to the ship. I had to understand more regarding this long-lost niece and whether it was Inese.
Marion appeared, having sprouted numerous shopping bags from both arms.
“Did you buy out the whole town?” I asked.
“I found presents for everyone,” she replied with a smug smile.
“I’m glad you took care of that. We have a perfect division of labor. I provide the Social Security check and you spend it.”
“I bring in my fair share as well,” she said with a pout.
“I’m not complaining. I’m delighted that I don’t have to take care of shopping details.”
I unloaded some of the bags so Marion could stand up straight again, and we headed back to the ship. As we approached our home-away-from-home, Marion accosted a fellow traveler and asked her to take a picture of us. After displaying my pearly whites, Marion showed me the picture. There were our smiley mugs in front of a huge white object that seemed like a face with its two sets of windows that looked like horizontal eyes, a bow for a nose, a red-painted design above water line that reminded me of lips and antennae for hair. Behind rose the peaks across the bay. With this last souvenir of Skagway, we picked up our parcels and re-embarked.
Once back in our snug little cabin, I placed a call to Ellen Hargrave.
“How are you feeling?” I asked.
“I seem to be fully recovered.”
“Good. Can you join us for a nightcap after the show tonight?”
“I’ll meet you in the Rendezvous Lounge.”
“I’ve been wondering about this long-lost niece of yours. What exactly have you learned?”
“Not very much. As I mentioned before, she grew up in Europe.”
“Do you know precisely where?”
“Some city in Latvia.”
Chapter 13
My heart started thumping like I was being chased by that bear again at hearing that Mrs. Hargrave’s long-lost niece had lived in Latvia. “And what led you to the discovery that she was working on our ship?”
“The detective I hired tracked down a childhood friend who had received a phone call saying she was working on the Scandinavian Sea Lines Sunshine.”
“Then she should be easy to identify.”
Ellen shook her head. “Apparently she changed her name, because no one I’ve spoken to knows an Ann Hargrave on this ship.”
“And the childhood friend didn’t know her new name?” I asked.
“Apparently Ann didn’t divulge it to her . . . Whoops. I have to run to meet Gladys and my niece and nephew. We can continue our discussion tonight.”
I immediately called Andrew. “A new piece of information from Ellen Hargrave. Her long-lost niece came from Latvia. It’s very possible that the niece was Inese, who also came from Latvia.”
“Wow. That is an interesting coincidence. Let me make some more inquiries. Do you and Marion want to meet for dinner tonight?”
“Sure. I’ll fill you in on the bear butt we saw today.”
“That sounds interesting.”
“It was.”
On our way to dinner, I decided to do a little detecting on my own. I noticed that the crew members wore name badges with their name and country. There was still a possibility that there might be another woman in the crew from Latvia, so I surreptitiously stared at each woman’s name badge I passed. I squinted at one well-endowed maid and made out the name of Angelina from Hungary.
She came to a stop and gave me a strange look.
As we continued on, Marion elbowed me in the ribs. “That’s not like you to blatantly stare at a woman’s breasts, Paul.”
My cheeks turned warm. “Oops. I was checking out her name tag. I’m trying to see if there are any other female crew members from Latvia.”
She rolled her eyes. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. You may get slapped next time.”
At dinner we met Andrew and Helen in the waiting area. As a hostess led us to a table, I checked her out, so to speak, and spotted a country of origin of Brazil. She didn’t catch me ogling her.
Over lamb chops, Andrew filled me in on the latest. “The important thing I learned is that only one woman on the crew is from Latvia, the murder victim Inese.”
Marion smiled. “That will save you from a sexual harassment charge, Paul.”
Andrew looked perplexed. “What do you mean?”
I grimaced. “I started looking at name tags of female crew members earlier to see if I could find any listing Latvia. I can’t help it that they wear their nameplates on their breasts.”
Andrew chuckled. “Paul, you find the most interesting ways to get into trouble.”
“Yeah, my next thought was to break into the quartermaster’s office to steal a crew list.”
“Fortunately, you won’t have to do that.”
I sighed. “So odds are Inese is the long-lost niece, but before Ellen Hargrave could hook up with her, someone stuffed a hot stone into her mouth to choke her to death.”
Marion looked thoughtful and then said, “If Andrew could track down that Inese was the only crew member from Latvia, someone else could have done the same.”
“I don’t know,” Andrew said. “That information is pretty closely held. I had to call in a favor to find it out.”
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“Still, someone must have learned it,” Marion said.
“And the people least excited about Ellen finding a new heiress would be Gary and Gina,” I added.
“You’re right,” Marion said. “When that topic came up at dinner last night, Gary in particular didn’t look pleased.”
“Maybe I should have a heart-to-heart chat with Gary,” I said.
“I don’t know if that would be a good idea,” Andrew said. “He’d only deny any accusation. We need some proof.”
“I wonder if Grudion and his security people found any fingerprints on the hot stone or anything else in the room where Inese was killed.”
“I’ll suggest Grudion check out Gary and Gina,” Andrew said.
“Good idea. He’ll listen to you more than to me.”
With that decided, I relaxed and enjoyed the crème brûlée.
“Do you realize our cruise is half over?” Marion said.
“I was just starting to get my sea legs. That means I have only a few more days to clear this whole mess up.”
“We’ll keep helping you, Paul,” Andrew said.
“And I appreciate that. In any case, I’ll have to face Detective Bearhurst of Seattle’s finest when I return.”
“Maybe he’s made some progress on that other murder.”
“I sure hope so. I wouldn’t want him and Grudion fighting over who had the pleasure of drawing and quartering me.”
We all adjourned for the show.
“What do we have on tap tonight?” I asked.
“It’s a magic show.” Marion squeezed my arm. “Maybe you’ll be invited on stage again.”
“I think I’ll settle for being the audience, but maybe the magician can make my troubles disappear.”
Frederick the Magnificent was good. He made a rabbit, a cage of doves and his lovely assistant Madeline all disappear. In addition, he levitated Madeline, which was especially amazing since the ship was rocking at the time.
It was a good thing I wasn’t invited on stage since he probably would have made me disappear through a hole in the floor where I would have slid into the brig.
Frederick ended with a routine where he invited three male passengers up on stage, wowed them with a sleight of hand card trick and then showed them that he had also lifted their wallets. They all checked their billfolds and found a coupon for a free drink in one of the lounges.
“Not bad,” Andrew said.
“And I still have this guy Julian Armour accusing me of stealing his wallet.”
“Except you’re not that good, Paul. You only picked up his coat to return it.”
I looked at my watch. “Time to meet Ellen Hargrave. Andrew and Helen, do you want to join us?”
Andrew looked toward Helen, and she said, “No thanks. I’d like to go out on deck for some fresh air and then retire.”
“Okay,” Andrew said. “Paul, will I see you on the walking track in the morning?”
“As long as I’m still alive, I’ll be there.”
Marion swatted me. “Don’t even say such a thing.”
“Hey, at my age, I have to be realistic.”
We waved goodbye and headed to the Rendezvous Lounge.
“Since I can’t remember Ellen Hargrave from a hole in the wall, do you see her here?”
Marion looked around the room. “No. She hasn’t arrived.”
We found a table and shortly a portly woman using a cane waddled in.
Marion waved to her, and she came over to join us.
“We’re so glad you’re feeling better,” Marion said.
“Yes. That put a scare in me. I take medication for high blood pressure and somehow the medicine got switched. The doctor said if I hadn’t been treated immediately, it could have been fatal.”
I had a bad feeling. “How did you discover that the medicine was switched?”
“After I came to, the doctor asked what medication I took. I had wrapped a pill up in a tissue and put it in my pocket to take again after dessert.”
“Why didn’t you just bring the whole bottle with you?” Marion asked.
Ellen gave an indulgent smile. “I didn’t want to take my purse so I just slipped one pill and my key card in my pocket. When the doctor saw the pill I showed him, he turned red and said it was medicine to increase not lower blood pressure.”
I put my hands on the table and leaned toward her. “Mrs. Hargrave, I think someone switched your medicine on purpose. Did you leave your medicine unattended at any time before dinner yesterday?”
“No. It was with me or in my cabin.”
“Was anyone in your cabin with you?”
“Besides the steward and maid staff, only Gary and Gina.”
I looked toward Marion. She nodded. I took a deep breath and then returned my gaze to Ellen Hargrave. “I hate to say this, but Gary or Gina might have switched your medicine.”
Her eyes grew large, and she put her hand to her mouth. “Please, Mr. Jacobson. My nephew and niece wouldn’t have done anything like that.”
“Is there any chance that they might be jealous because you’re now looking for this long-lost niece?”
She pursed her lips. “Well . . . they haven’t been as excited as I have been about the endeavor, if that is what you mean.”
“Exactly. They may see this as a threat to their inheritance.”
She gave me a dismissive wave. “They’ll inherit a large sum with or without a third heir.”
“I don’t know. Some people don’t look that kindly on having their share reduced. They might even take steps to prevent you from finding this other niece.”
“Oh, posh. Gary and Gina would never do that.”
I looked again toward Marion, who only shrugged her shoulders. I had given it my best shot, but Ellen Hargrave wasn’t open to the suggestion that her relatives might not be nice people. And besides, I didn’t know if one or both of them were causing all these problems.
Our drinks arrived, and I sipped my tall glass of various fruit juices without rum.
“I’m looking forward to seeing Glacier Bay tomorrow,” Marion said. “Sailing by the glaciers is supposed to be very spectacular.”
“I’d like to see a map of the area,” I said.
“I have a very detailed map,” Ellen said. “It shows how some of the glaciers have retreated since the eighteen century.”
“Kind of like how my memory has retreated.”
After we finished our drinks and kibitzed a little more, Ellen said, “This has been a pleasant interlude, but I’m tired and ready to retire to my cabin.”
“I think I’ll stop at the casino,” Marion said with a glint in her eyes.
“My bride has found the magic touch with the slot machines. She’s going to pay for our whole trip.”
“The trip was free, Paul.”
“See. Even if she loses, she’s paid for the trip.”
I offered to walk Ellen back to her cabin. She held my arm in one of her hands and her cane in the other.
At the door to room 11580 Ellen said, “Why don’t you come in for a moment, and I’ll show you that map of Glacier Bay.”
“Your nephew and niece nearby?”
“They have the room next door.” She inserted her key card.
When we entered, a maid was turning down the bed and placing chocolate on the pillow.
“Oh, Anita. You’re leaving me a little treat.”
The woman turned and smiled. “You surprised me. I’m sorry I’m so late tonight, but one of the other girls is sick and I had to cover both of our rooms.”
“Mr. Jacobson and I were just going to look at a map of Glacier Bay so you can continue.”
I noticed Anita’s tag that listed France as her country. “Bonjour, mademoiselle.” I gave my most distinguished bow.
Anita smiled. “Bonjour, monsieur. I will be done soon.”
Ellen retrieved the map, and I plunked down in a chair to scan it. Lines indicated where the glaciers had taken up most of the
bay in the late eighteen and nineteenth century but now had retreated to form pockets in the inlets.
“It’s supposed to be spectacular even if it’s much smaller than centuries ago,” I said.
“There are actually a few places that are growing, if you look carefully.”
I squinted and sure enough, several spots showed lines that had expanded some during the twentieth century. “Still doesn’t make up for the huge losses in the main part of the bay.”
“You’re not one of those global warming fanatics, are you, Mr. Jacobson?”
“What do you mean?”
“Do you think ice is disappearing around the world because of carbon dioxide emission heating the planet?”
“I think the evidence is pretty clear here. Look at all this lost ice.”
“Posh. That’s just the normal cycle. Throughout history there have been ice ages and then ice retreats.”
“Give me a break. This is no small change.” I thrust my finger at the map.
“Mr. Jacobson, you’re getting hot under the collar.”
“Damn right. You must be one of those people who don’t want to accept facts. Just look at this map.”
“Please, watch your language.”
“I’m done,” Anita said, looking wildly about and edging toward the cabin door. She scuttled out and closed the door.
“Now look what you’ve done,” Ellen said. “You’ve scared Anita.”
I took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I tend to get carried away.” I refolded the map and stood up. “Thanks for the use of the map. Just remember not to fall asleep on your bed until you’ve eaten or removed the chocolates.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah. I read in my journal how I inadvertently had a chocolate rather than mud bath.”
“I’ll remember that.”
“Good night. I’ll rejoin my bride in the casino now.”
I left and wended my way to the bright lights and clinking sounds of the gambling hall. I traded in a twenty-spot of my hard-earned cash for quarters. In five minutes, eighty quarters had disappeared. I had won only five along the way to my financial demise.