by Judy Baer
“Don’t sound so happy about it. Consider it a loan from my account. My car died in my garage, and it’s starting to smell.”
“Maybe you can get it fixed and use it until I find a new one?” She sounded as though she hoped that wasn’t possible.
“Not this time. Ken told me so. Something very large and important seems to have fallen out of the bottom of the car.”
“Like your muffler?”
“He said something about the transmission.”
“Oh, my.”
“So I have to buy a new car…an old new car, that is, something to get me around. I’ll pay myself back as I can. How much car do you think I can afford?”
“How do you feel about an entire dealership?”
I ignored her. “Nothing older than a 2000, I think. I’d like four doors because of Winslow.”
“How about an SUV?”
“Great room, but lots of money.”
“Oh, go hog wild, Cassia.” And she named the amount of interest income I’d earned since the day of the lottery.
“Oh, my.”
It felt weird the next afternoon walking into the apartment building and going past Adam’s apartment without either hurrying past to avoid him or stopping to talk. I hadn’t realized how big a part of my day that had become until it was gone. I felt a wave of confusion and loneliness wash over me as I stood there, helplessly staring at the door.
Then I heard a thump from inside the apartment. A thump, a clatter, a hiss and a meow. Was Pepto still inside? Surely Adam would never leave Pepto to fend for himself if he were going to be gone long—would he? I didn’t think so. Then again, I don’t know anymore.
Deciding to listen for Pepto in the morning and make sure that he hadn’t been cruelly abandoned like me, I went upstairs to bed.
CHAPTER 26
“You mean it? You want me to actually help you pick out a car?” Randy sounded like a kid on his birthday.
“It’s not that exciting,” I assured him. It’s actually a desperation measure on my part. I need something to get my mind off Adam’s absence. It’s been only two days since Adam left, and already I’m feeling the enormous gap in my life.
“Not for you, maybe. It is for me.”
It isn’t just about the car. Randy had been less blatant than Ken about courting—Mattie’s word—me, but had he been the successful businessman that Ken is, I would probably have double the flowers around my place.
“Can I pick you up? When we’re done at the car dealerships, we can grab a bite to eat.”
That had the ring of “date” to it, but I let it pass. I have to get over my skittishness sometime, and Randy hasn’t misled me…yet.
“I’ll wait out front.”
It feels good to have somewhere to go. I don’t get much pleasure from being a hermit, but it’s easier these days. If I run into anyone who recognizes me, I have to repeat the same conversation I’ve had a hundred times. “No, I haven’t decided what to do with the money yet…no, I don’t plan to keep it…no, I haven’t lost my mind…. Have a nice day….”
I grabbed shades on my way out, hoping to disappear behind them.
At the bottom of the stairs I paused at Adam’s front door. All was silent inside the apartment. Had I imagined Pepto crying in there? There wasn’t a single noise coming from the other side of the door now.
Randy was prompt and obviously delighted by this turn of events. He jumped out of the car, ran around to my side and gallantly flung open the door.
“This is great, Cassia. Thanks for asking me to help you.”
“You’ve been nagging me to get a new car forever. How could I choose one without you?” I settled into the seat and noticed a map on the dashboard. It was circled and marked with what I guessed were dealership locations.
I turned to grab my seat belt, and as I looked over my right shoulder I noticed a movement in the window of Adam’s vacant apartment. I did a double take and then felt my jaw drop. Pepto was sitting in the window staring out at me. His expression was unpleasant and disgruntled, as usual.
Why had Adam left the cat alone? Unfortunately, that was no longer any of my business.
The longer I live in the city, the more of a mystery it becomes. Since many of the car dealerships Randy had chosen were in the suburbs, we passed Oak Street, Cherry Boulevard, Elm Lane and Pine Avenue. How ironic—people cut down trees to make room for houses then, in honor of the trees, they name streets after them.
“I’m bored.”
Randy stared at me as if I’d lost my mind. “How can that be? We’ve only been shopping for an hour.”
“There was a nice car at the first place we stopped. A red one.”
“What make and model?”
“Red. Four wheels.”
Randy shook his head in amazement. “You really don’t care, do you?”
“Not beyond the basic questions—does it work, is it safe and is it cheap? Otherwise I really don’t.”
Randy grabbed my hand and pulled me toward another row of cars. As we walked, I caught a glimpse of something in my peripheral vision—a Hummer, like Adam’s. I stumbled and was grateful Randy was there to catch me as I fell.
After the embarrassing hubbub I created in the car lot, I decided I’d procrastinated too long and was in danger of making a serious fool of myself over my reluctance to buy a new car. Once I made up my mind to just do it, buying the car didn’t take long at all.
“It’s between this one and this one. Do you like red or green better?” I stood back to study the pair of midsized cars I’d test driven and parked together in front of the dealership for a final look.
“It’s not about the color, it’s about what’s under the hood,” Randy said patiently.
“Then you pick it out. You’re the one who’s been under there.”
He rolled his eyes and began to tick off the pros and cons of each car on his fingers.
“Fewer miles, cleaner, tires worn…”
After waiting patiently for him to finish, I said, “So having said all that, which one would you buy?”
Wearily he pointed to the car on the left.
“Great. I’ll take it.” I was pleased with his choice. I like the red one better anyway.
“I made dinner reservations,” Randy said after we delivered the car to my front door. I would have been content with a sandwich, but Randy had planned something pretty elaborate.
At the restaurant we had more waiters fussing around us than cats around a dish of cream. And enough silverware spread out to do brain surgery. “I feel like a princess, Randy. You didn’t have to take me to such a lavish place.” I placed my hand on his and gave it a squeeze. “Thank you.”
“Thank you, Cassia, for agreeing to come.” He smiled shyly and ducked his head. “For giving me a chance.”
“Now quit that—you’re going to make me all gushy.” And I pushed away from the table and hurried to the ladies’ room before Randy could say what I suspected was on his mind.
“I keep thinking I’m going to wake up and this evening will have been a dream,” he said when I returned. The expression in his eyes grew soft and warm. “I love being with you. I don’t want this to end. I know you’re on your guard now, but that can’t last forever, and I’ll be there waiting when you’re finally ready.”
He must have seen something in my eyes that I really didn’t mean to convey, because he took my hand in his and said, “Don’t worry. I’m not going to pressure you right now. I just had to say it so you know how I feel.”
Okay, no pressure, uh-uh—other than a sort of till-death-do-us-part promise.
I felt resentment boil up within me. This money is ruining everything. I don’t dare trust the men who care for me.
Worse yet, I care for the man I don’t trust.
After a turn around a small carnival we discovered set up in the parking lot of one of the malls, Randy won me an enormous stuffed pink flamingo and a teddy bear the size of Rhode Island.
�
��You’ve made my childhood dream come true,” I said as I peered over Mingo’s—as in fla-mingo’s—head. “I would have given my eyeteeth to have these guys in my room back then.”
“I’m glad you didn’t have the opportunity. You look very nice with your eyeteeth intact.” He stuffed the teddy bear into the trunk and put Mingo in the backseat.
“I’ve had a lot of fun this evening, Randy. Thank you.”
“No, thank you. You’ve made one of my dreams come true, too.”
Fortunately, we arrived at my building and I didn’t have to respond. The bird and the bear were all either of us could manage.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to walk you in?”
“Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. There’s a security pad that we punch at night. Just wait until I get inside.”
He looked disappointed. I knew Randy wanted to be invited to my apartment, but I didn’t make a policy of that. Besides, I had some investigating to do. It had bugged me all evening. Why was Pepto still in Adam’s apartment? I noticed a dim light burning—the small lamp Adam kept on one of his bookcases. Curiouser and curiouser.
I dragged the giant toys upstairs and propped my two new best friends next to my door. Then I walked downstairs to stare at Adam’s door. Pepto hadn’t exactly looked as if he was suffering as he sat on the window ledge, but even if he were being fed, it must be terribly lonely….
Wait a minute. It’s Pepto I’m worrying about. He doesn’t even like people.
Still, he likes me. Maybe he needs me.
I should have been having my head examined instead of creeping up to Adam’s door like a cat burglar and putting an ear to the door. There was no mewing, no rustling of kitty litter being scratched in his box. I leaned closer until my ear touched the door.
That was, of course, why I tumbled into Adam’s apartment when the door opened unexpectedly. I lay sprawled at the feet of a gorgeous, faintly-familiar looking man with dark blond hair and mesmerizing blue eyes.
This was not Adam, but physically he was definitely of Adam’s caliber. He wore camel-colored slacks, a dark blue shirt with the collar open and a cream-and-blue tie loosened around his neck. His feet, I noticed because of my proximity, were bare.
Why the earth didn’t just open and swallow me up, I don’t know. How embarrassing.
“I, uh, sorry. I was just listening for Pepto. I saw him in the window when I left earlier, and the landlord said Adam was out of town….” Well, that certainly sounded lame.
Then a beautiful dark-haired woman with warm eyes and a ready smile glided out of what I assumed was Adam’s bedroom. She was securing the belt of her robe around her waist as she walked. Her hair was tousled and her beautiful face makeup free.
“Chase? What’s going on?” She stared at me for a moment, gathered her composure and said, “Hello. May we help you?”
“Let’s help her to her feet, first thing,” said the man called Chase. He picked me up off the floor as if I were a feather and set me back on my wobbly legs. “Are you okay?”
“Fine. Everything but my pride, that is. I feel like an idiot.” My cheeks were burning. When I’m embarrassed, I look like scalded carrots. Not a pretty sight.
Although I would have preferred to skulk out of the apartment never to return, manners were one of my mother’s favorite hang-ups. I stuck out my hand. “I’m Cassia Carr. I live upstairs. The landlord told me Adam was gone. I heard Pepto earlier today and then saw him in the window when I went out this afternoon. I just wanted to know he was okay.” I felt my cheeks redden even more. “I didn’t mean to, you know, fall in on you like that.”
“I’m Adam’s cousin Chase Andrews.”
So that’s why he looks familiar. Family resemblance.
“And this is my wife, Whitney. My wife’s office isn’t far from here, so rather than take Pepto out of his home, we decided to stay here with him.” He smiled at his wife and looked at her as though there was no other woman on earth. I felt a whisper of envy.
“It’s our minivacation,” Whitney added cheerfully. “I get to eat out every night this week.”
I liked her immediately. There was a glow and a…something…about her that felt special.
At that moment Pepto sauntered out of the bedroom, saw me and leaped into my arms. We both nearly toppled, but I staggered against the wall and he stuck all his claws into my shirt and skin and hung on. As soon as I regained my footing, I gathered him close, and he began purring like a semitruck. To everyone’s surprise, he licked the hollow of my neck.
“I see now why you were concerned about him. You two are best friends,” Chase said pleasantly. “He loves Whitney, too. For a cat, Pepto has great taste in women.”
“Can you sit down?” Whitney asked. “I just made tea.” Without waiting for my answer, she went to the kitchen, put an extra cup on the tea tray and brought it to the sitting area.
“I really shouldn’t….” But I want to.
My loneliness, my desire to hold the purring Pepto for a bit longer and the impulsive desire to learn more about Adam’s family propelled me into a chair.
The dimness of the book-lined room, lit with candles and small lamps I’d barely noticed when Adam was here, was snug and inviting. What’s more, I felt soothed when embraced by his personal effects. It often seemed that we’d known each other forever, so comfortable were we when cooking together, discussing the pets or what to do about the lottery.
Ah, the lottery. Proverbs 23: 5.
For riches can disappear as though they had the wings of a bird!
Where was that bird when I needed him?
“Where do you work, Cassia?” Whitney asked. Her eyes twinkled as though she would be delighted with any answer I gave her.
“I’m not currently employed,” I ventured. “Something has come up, and I’m not able to work right now.”
“Is it your health?” Chase asked. “I’m a doctor. I could steer you to one of my colleagues. I know the best doctors in the city.”
“Thanks, but I’m not sick, although this stuff is making me feel pretty squeamish.” I looked at their puzzled faces. “My money, I mean.”
“Your money is preventing you from working?” Whitney still looked puzzled.
“I and some of my office mates won the lottery. You might have heard about it.” Everyone else has.
“You’re one of them?” Whitney and Chase both started to laugh. “No kidding?”
“’Fraid not—wish I was.”
“You don’t sound very happy about it,” Chase observed.
I explained the circumstances, and that gambling of any kind went against my belief system.
“A Christian, I suppose.” Whitney clicked her tongue in mock surprise. Then she grinned and brightened a notch or two. “Welcome to the club.”
“You are? Then you understand!” Relief poured through me.
“Chase and I talked about it, didn’t we? What we’d do with that kind of money if it were dropped into our laps.”
“I’ve been trying to get rid of it, but it’s not working very well. I spoke to the pastor of the church I attend and two national ministries before I began to get the idea that this money is a problem for more than just me. No one wants to send the message that they’re approving any form of gambling—including the lottery—because it can trap people in addictions or encourage them to spend money they don’t have. It’s a role model thing, I know.” I paused before adding with a heartfelt wail, “But I want to be a role model, too!”
I leaned back in the chair feeling disgruntled. “I wish He’d hurry up and spend His money.”
“Does Adam know about this?” Chase asked.
The hackles on the back of my neck rose. “Yessss…”
“He’s the great philanthropist—a human rights, save-the-children-and-the-whales kind of guy. He’d be a great one to talk to about it.”
I know.
“But I need to talk to someone who understands my faith as well as my situation. It’s co
mplicated for most people to grasp that I don’t consider the money mine.”
“Another Christian, you mean? Adam is…was…well, I guess we don’t really know where he stands anymore. Adam and I grew up in a huge extended Christian family. We were pretty much on the same page with our faith growing up, but…” Chase frowned. “Adam has seen and experienced some pretty awful things in his work as a journalist. It’s changed him, made him doubt that there is a God. After his recent trips we’ve noticed a shift in what he says and thinks. These things he sees and experiences chip away at his soul.”
Was that what had happened? Had Adam lost his soul? Had he decided to use my circumstances for his own benefit because he no longer believes both good and evil exist in the world…just evil? It makes as much sense as a crossword puzzle without clues.
“I haven’t known Adam very long,” Whitney added. She smiled shyly at her husband. “Chase and I have only been married a few months. But I do know that he’s one of the most decent, straightforward, trustworthy and honorable men I’ve ever met. Chase’s family is very proud of what Adam does with his life. That’s what’s so puzzling about the changes we see in him.”
Puzzling? They didn’t know the half of puzzling. How could I reconcile what Adam did to me with how his family and friends see him?
With Pepto now snoring on my shoulder, I settled back and listened to Chase regale Whitney with his and Adam’s childhood exploits.
CHAPTER 27
Give ’em an inch, they try to take a mile.
“Cassia, it’s Randy. I was wondering if you’d like to go out after work and grab a bite to eat.” He’s called me every evening since I bought the car five days ago.
“Thanks, but I think I’ll stay home tonight.”
“What’s wrong, Cassia?”
“Oh, nothing.”
There was a long pause on the other end of the line. When Randy spoke, I heard caution in his voice. “Did you say that in woman-speak or man-speak?”
“What do you mean?” Now I was the nonplussed one.
“When a man says, ‘Oh nothing,’ you can take it literally. One the other hand, when a woman says, ‘Oh, nothing,’ it usually means, ‘Oh, something.’”