Hold On

by Hilary Wynne

  Julian: Anything for you. Be good.

  Alexa: Good?

  Julian: Yes, good.

  Alexa: I’ll try :-).

  By good I’m assuming he’d prefer I don’t get hammered. I don’t ask though. I have every intention of being good.

  It doesn’t take me very long to get ready; I’ve been thinking about what to wear since we decided to go out. I’m wearing a pair of off-white shorts that have a yellow, brown, and green floral print around the hem. I’m also wearing a sheer black, loose-fitting, gauzy top with thin straps that hang off the shoulders. I have a black bra underneath that covers what it needs to but the shirt is pretty revealing. I’m wearing a pair of nude, patent leather, Jessica Simpson heels with black, elastic straps that cross at the ankle. There’s a single strap above my toes which helps keep my feet in the 5 1/2 inch heels. They’re platforms and easier to walk in than most shoes that high. I feel super tall in them. I pull the top part of my hair back, pouf it up a little, and secure it with a tiny clip that blends into my hair. I leave the rest down in natural waves. I add a long gold chain, a few gold bangles, and some hoop earrings. I look in the mirror for a few minutes and admire my outfit. I look good and wish Julian was here to see me.

  Jenna and Lauren are waiting in the living room when I walk in. Everyone but Jenna has a glass of wine in their hands so I pour myself a glass as well. We chat for a little while so we can all finish our drinks. Jenna offers to drive. We usually take turns being the DD. It really is my turn but I get off the hook because I have set up a VIP night. Well Julian did, but it’s because of me. Not to mention I was the DD many times during the year I was a recluse.

  Our only stop is the hotel. Nobody was in the mood to go out to eat beforehand so we just headed to the hotel. We park in Julian’s spot like he said to. As usual there’s already a line and it’s such a bonus to be able to skip it. Marty sees us before we even get to the front and waves at me. “Hello, Alexa. Julian told me to keep an eye out for you. There are six of you?”

  I bet he told him to look out for me. “Just five, Marty.”

  He opens the rope and lets us walk through. I hear comments from people in line about how unfair it is we get to cut the line. It makes me smile. I want to turn around and tell them I get to cut the line because the owner loves me, but of course I don’t. I think it though and it makes me feel great. We immediately head to Stellar and when we walk in the door, Ruben is there to meet us. He kisses me on the cheek like we’re old friends and shows us to the table Julian reserved for us. It’s all very hoity-toity and not really our style but we roll with it. Ruben lets us know we have an open tab and can order anything we want. As he walks away, I hear the girls giggling.

  “Holy shit, Lex. If you don’t want Julian, I do. I could get so used to this.” Jenna is looking around and feeling important.

  “Easy Stewart, he’s all mine.”

  A waiter comes by to take our order and we collectively decide to do a shot of tequila to get the night started. We also agree we aren’t going to do more than one shot. Pretty soon one shot turns to two and when Jenna says she’s done because she needs to drive home in a few hours, we all really agree to stop the shots. I’m having a great time but I can’t stop thinking about Luke. It feels so weird to not be able to go up to Orion and see him. I try not to let it get me down and decide to stay in Stellar for the night. I grab the girls and we head out to the dance floor and get lost in the throngs of people. I’m dancing and feeling good when I feel someone’s hands around my waist. I spin around quickly on my heel and find Danny standing next to me. Spinning wasn’t a good idea in these shoes; I stumble a little.

  His hand is still on my arm and he holds me up. “Hola, Lexie. Are you okay?”

  I roll my eyes at him. “Hi, Danny. I’m fine. Are you here to spy on me?” I’m only half kidding. I have no doubt Julian asked him to stop by.

  “No. I’m here with Steve and Marco. Having a good time, just like you.”

  He’s not a good liar. “So that’s your story?”

  He laughs and knows he’s busted. “Sí, and I’m sticking to it.”

  I move off the floor where we can talk. “Where’s Gabby?”

  He looks uncomfortable. “Not here. We’re kind of taking a break.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that.” And I am. I like Gabby.

  He changes the subject. “Who are you here with?”

  I introduce Jenna and Lauren to Danny, Steve, and Marco. Marissa and Shannon give them all hugs. I immediately see sparks between Jenna and Marco and he asks her to dance. I also see a flash of something cross Danny’s face when he looks at Lauren, who looks great in a very tight, very short, black mini dress. He’s attracted to her. Ugh. I don’t want to get involved in this. I turn to talk to Steve when Lauren grabs my arm and spins me around to look at her. I almost fall again. Fuck.

  “What the hell?” I right myself as I ask the question.

  “Incoming, Lexie. Serena is walking this way with two girls. She’s headed right for us.”

  My heart starts to race a little and I take a deep breath to calm down. That girl is a serious buzz-kill. I swear she’s here because she heard me say I was coming. I move in and whisper to Danny, “Serena is headed this way with two other girls.”

  He looks behind him and when he turns back around, his smile is gone. He grabs my hand and starts to pull me in the other direction. What the hell is going on? I pull my hand back. “What’s going on, Danny? I can handle her, stop freaking out.”

  “She’s with Yvette, my cousin … and Alejandra …”

  The name of Julian’s ex-fiancé dangles in the air and now I get why he was trying to help me escape. Fuck, fuck, fuck! I’m not ready for this. Unfortunately by the time I get my feet to move, it’s too late and they’re standing right in front of us. I try not to look at Alejandra, focusing on Serena instead. She looks a little trashy in a too small, too red halter dress. Her red lipstick makes her look like a clown and I want to tell her so but I restrain myself by biting my lip inside my mouth.

  I start to turn my head to look at Danny for help when I’m hugged by the one I assume is Yvette. Yvette is tall, like Julian and Danny, and shares the same brown hair, green eyes, and perfect skin. Her smile is all straight white teeth and she sounds sincere when she introduces herself to me. “Alexa, it’s so nice to meet you. I’m Yvette, Danny and Julian’s cousin. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

  Yeah, from Serena I bet. I pull out of her embrace, which has made me extremely uncomfortable. I look at my friends and they’re all speechless. “It’s nice to meet you Yvette. These are my friends, Marissa, Lauren, and Shannon.” She glances at them, smiles a little, and lands her gaze on Danny. He looks mad and I’m sure he knows this is so uncomfortable for me. Yvette looks back at me and introduces me to her friends.

  “Well, you know Serena already. This is Alejandra.” She emphasizes the name as if to say, the Alejandra. You know, Julian’s ex-fiancé.

  I’m finally forced to look at her.

  Alejandra Garces isn’t at all what I’d imagined. She’s strikingly beautiful, which isn’t surprising, but she’s tiny, like really short and very voluptuous. My perception might be clouded because I’m wearing super high heels, but even with her heels on, she must be only like five-three. I don’t know why this surprises me except that every single one of the other women I know Julian has been with are tall and skinny. I thought I was the short, not skinny one. Alejandra has long, thick, jet-black hair that hangs straight down her back and big brown eyes. She looks so Latina, and I don’t mean that in a bad way. Again, I haven’t seen Julian with any Latinas and I’m a certified gringa and totally blonde. We couldn’t look any more different which makes me happy. I’m thinking all of these things as she reaches her hand out to shake mine. She offers a little smile to go along with her hand. “It’s nice to finally meet you, Alexa.”

  Um okay. I’m not feeling it. I’d be happy to have never met her and I’m sure if
she really did want to meet me, it was only to see who managed to keep Julian’s attention for more than five minutes. I really don’t feel friendly, especially with Serena glaring at me, but I turn the fake on for the benefit of Yvette, who is Julian’s family.

  “It’s nice to meet you too, Alejandra.” I can’t say I’ve heard a lot about her because I haven’t and I’m not going to let her know I just found out about her three days ago. An awkward silence follows the introductions. It lasts a few moments until Steve comes to my rescue and grabs Alejandra’s hand and brings her to the dance floor. I thank him with my eyes and he smiles. Danny grabs my hand and walks with me toward the table. My friends follow. So do Yvette and Serena. When Danny notices them he lets go of my hand and pulls Yvette to the side. They’re still standing close enough so I can hear the conversation.

  “You need to go hang out some place else, Yvette.”

  She pouts and shakes her head. “Why? I didn’t do anything.”

  “Really? Do you think Lexie wants to hang out with Alejandra or vice versa?”

  “We can all be adults, can’t we? Maybe I want to get to know her better.”

  “Then call and invite her to lunch, Yvette. I know you and you’re up to something. Julian is going to be pissed.”

  “Who cares if Julian is pissed? He has no reason to be mad. Why is he hiding her anyway if they’re serious like you said? It’s all so hush hush.”

  “Just go away and take Serena and Alejandra with you. I love you but your taste in friends is questionable at best.” He leans in and gives her a kiss and I see real affection between them.

  “Fine, for you, Danny, and because I don’t feel like getting shit from Julian.”

  She turns, sees me looking at them, and smiles again. This time it isn’t so sincere. Whatever. This isn’t a battle I feel like fighting tonight. Danny joins us again after she walks away. I kiss him on the cheek. “Thank you.”

  “Sorry about that. I think it was planned. Did you tell them you were coming?”

  “It’s not your fault. Serena overheard me talking about it.”

  “Well, Yvette knows Julian is out of town and I’m sure they thought it was a great opportunity to come see you.”

  I don’t hide my sarcasm. “Well, I’m glad I dressed for the occasion.” He chuckles. “Should I be flattered they made the effort?”

  Danny looks at me seriously. “Lexie, Julian hasn’t been with one woman for more than a few weeks in close to ten years. You really are different to him. So yes, you’re a little bit of a novelty.”

  I shake my head and go sit at the table with my friends. Jenna is still out on the floor with Marco and Danny asks Lauren to dance. When they leave, Marissa, Shannon, and I recap the encounter.

  “Damn. I’m completely sober now. Total buzz-kill.”

  “Then let’s do another shot.” I look at Marissa through squinty eyes. She’s never the one to suggest shots.

  Shannon and I agree and one more turns into two and when we hit the dance floor a little while later, my buzz is back and so is my good mood. I see Yvette, Serena, and Alejandra across the dance floor from time to time but I don’t focus on them and don’t let them ruin my night. Danny and Lauren are nowhere to be found and neither are Marco and Jenna. Oh well, I’m not in charge.

  I’m proud of myself for not getting all bent out of shape about Julian’s ex-fiancé being here. A few weeks ago it would’ve sent me right over the cliff. I don’t like seeing her or thinking about her but I’m determined not to get caught up in my insecurity trap. We’re about to leave the dance floor to get a drink when Robin Thicke’s Blurred Lines comes on. I love this song. It’s got a great beat and its fun. We continue to dance and when I turn around, I see something that makes my heart drop … in a good way.

  Julian, my man, is leaning against the bar a few feet away. He has one arm on the bar and one leg crossed over the other in a very causal pose. He’s wearing dark jeans that make his long legs look like they go on forever and a very form-fitting, black button down. Fuck. He’s so hot. I actually get butterflies looking at him. He doesn’t exactly smile when he sees me but he does bite his lower lip a little. I can’t read his expression. He looks a little irritated, a little flirty, a little nonchalant, and a whole lot of hot all wrapped up into one gorgeous image. When he sees I’ve spotted him, he crooks his finger and motions for me to come closer. Um okay … on my way.

  The song is still on and I’m feeling the lyrics. I’m also feeling a little bit buzzed and horny. Julian has that effect on me and I’m not embarrassed to admit sometimes I just need to look at him to get turned on. I walk over to him and when I’m in front of him, I continue to dance seductively and mouth the words to the song:

  I know you want it

  I know you want it

  The way you grab me

  Must wanna get nasty

  He looks at me with an amused expression on his face. He lets me do my thing for a minute and then pulls me in close and whispers in my ear, “Fuck yeah I want it, Alexa, and so do all the other men watching you shake your sexy ass on the dance floor. Thanks for reminding me why I shouldn’t let you go dancing alone.”

  I lean into him and put my mouth to his ear. “I only want to get nasty with you.”

  I hear the sharp intake of his breath and it sends a warm rush of desire through my body.

  Julian puts his mouth on mine and nips at my lower lip. “Is that so, Corazón? I’d love to get nasty with you. Lista?”

  Am I ready? I was ready the second I saw him. “I’m always ready for you, Julian. If you put your hand between my legs you’d see just how lista I am.”

  Julian is still holding me close and I can feel the effect my words and my body are having on him. He’s ready too. “Mmm. You’re something else. I’m not sure I want to wait to get back to my condo. I’ve missed you. I’ve missed this.” He runs his hands down my sides and leaves one of them on my ass. He squeezes it softly.

  “Who drove?” And just like that, Julian is back to being Mr. Responsible.

  “Jenna, but I don’t know where she is. She went off with Marco and Lauren went off with Danny. Last time I saw Steve he was with Yvette, Serena, and Alejandra. Marissa and Shannon are dancing.” I ramble the words off in my “distracted by his hotness state”, not remembering Julian has no idea I met Alejandra tonight.

  Julian pulls away and looks at me like I just spoke in Swahili. “What did you just say?”

  Oops. “You heard me right. Don’t freak out, because I didn’t. Serena, Yvette, and Alejandra are here and I had the pleasure of meeting your cousin and your ex-fiancé. She’s not what I expected.”

  Julian is never speechless but now he’s speechless. My back is to the dance floor and when I look up at him, I see a dark expression cross his face. I assume he sees them and isn’t happy about it. I turn around and see I’m right. They’re all standing a few feet away, staring at us. He steps to the side of me and starts to walk towards them. I grab his arm and discreetly pull him back.

  “Don’t. Please. You’ll make me look stupid if you run over there and make a scene. It’s all good. I promise. I handled it … with Danny’s help. We can talk about it later, after you show me how much you missed me.” I keep my tone flirty in the hope he lets it go. He looks down at me and I smile. “Seriously, I’m fine. You don’t need to say a word to anyone. Except Danny maybe, who seems to have broken up with Gabby, and is getting busy with one of my good friends.”

  Julian chuckles a little and gives me a sweet kiss. Good, I’ve distracted him.

  “Danny is a big boy and I’m sure Lauren can take care of herself. Danny and Gabby are on and off all the time. He won’t commit so she leaves. He can’t be without her so he goes back and she takes him. It’s been going on for years. It’s not my business or yours.”

  I shrug my shoulders. He’s right. I have enough difficulty managing my own life. “Okay. I’m out of it. Let me tell the girls I’m leaving.”

  We walk
over to the table where Marissa, Shannon, Jenna, and Marco are now sitting. Julian shakes Marco’s hand and gives the girls a kiss on the cheek. “Anybody sober enough to drive?” I look around at the glazed look on everyone’s face, including Jenna’s, and can answer the question for them.

  “No. They’re all buzzed.”

  Julian looks at me with a smirk. “You too, Lexie?”

  I pinch my fingers together. “Un poquito.” He raises his eyebrows and I defend myself. “I was never going to drive.”

  He shakes his head like he’s a dad disappointed in his kids. “Do you girls want to spend the night here? I can either get you a room or get you a ride. You aren’t driving home.”

  They look at each other and then at me. I shrug my shoulders as if to say I have no control over Julian. He does this and it makes me feel like a little girl in some respects, but in others it makes me feel taken care of. That he cares about my friends means a lot to me too. He gets they’re my family and he treats them that way.

  “If you don’t mind, Julian, it’s probably a good idea.” Marissa is slurring her words a little and it makes me laugh. It also makes Julian give me a dirty look. He turns his back to us, makes a call, and gets a room for them. He turns around but not before he whispers something about us not being very responsible. I just shake my head. He’s the buzz-kill now. I’m not even close to drunk and what these girls do isn’t his business.

  “We’re almost sold out tonight so I just got one room. I hope that’s okay. Go to the front desk and see Gloria. She’ll take care of you.”

  They thank him for the room and for the night. Julian smiles at them and turns to Marco. “Y tu? Donde vas a pasar la noche?” He wants to know where Marco is sleeping. I look at Jenna, who doesn’t speak a word of Spanish. She has a drunk smile on her face and looks happy.

  Marco looks at me before he responds. “Todavia, no lo se.” He doesn’t know yet. He’s waiting to see if he’s getting lucky. He smiles at me and shrugs his shoulders. I think about what Julian said, they’re all adults, and I have, or he has, done his part to make sure they finish the night in one piece.