by Maya Carnage
When it's time for Tracy to leave, I offer to walk her to the garden.
"I'm going to walk with Aaga. She wants me to fill her in on how it's going," said Tracy.
When she turns away, striding toward the mage's house, "Tracy?" I shout.
She turns back.
"Just so you know, I would still be with you even if we were both hunters."
She looks at me, confused by my words. "Umm, thanks?"
"I'll see you later, my friend." Tracy walks away with me smiling at her back like a fool.
Chapter Eleven
Tracy
It's been a couple weeks since I decided to take a break from the mating trials with Lorth. He's been great about it all. Honestly, I don't think he could be any better. I don't know if he's a better mate or friend. He does both so well. Sometimes I forget that is what we are now: friends.
It's what I wanted. I realized that I need to let go of my life back on Earth, it was the only way I could fully live this new life. Thinking about the future during this time, it has made me look forward to a life with Lorth.
It's been hard letting go of my family. I've remembered them more often than I was let myself in the beginning. It's only been two weeks, but it's gotten easier. It is like Lorth said, it still hurts, but I'm learning to live with the pain.
I sit cross-legged on the ground. I watch Karen train with Gher. He's been teaching her how to use the spear in long distance and up close if she should ever be in a situation where it would call for her to defend herself.
It's interesting watching Gher show Karen how to fight, he's usually so boyish, but here he's all serious and stern. Karen's already told him to fuck off five times. I'm just waiting for her to strike him, that seems to be the obvious course of action next.
She shoves the hair off of her sweaty face, glaring at Gher. He ignores her. To show her how to hold the spear when she is lunging with it, he moves in front of her. When she still doesn't do it correctly, he moves behind her to help her get the right stance. When his hands land on her shoulders, she drops the spear and shakes him off. She flips him the bird. Gher stares after her as she storms away from him.
Poor guy, he just isn't catching a break with her.
"You ready to go? Kate wanted us to pick some fresh vegetables from the garden for dinner tonight," she panted.
When I get up, I shake my legs out. I must have sat there too long. Once the numbness is mostly gone, I walk with Karen.
She grumbles under her breath. Low enough that I can't make out what she is saying. Her face is dripping sweat and red.
"You good?" I asked.
"Yeah, just pissed," she said. "I can't believe that Piper is still missing. I thought that they had the best trackers looking for her? Well, they can't be that fucking good if they haven't found her, yet."
We heard back from the hunters a couple days after I got back from the woods. It wasn't all good news.
Fiona gave birth to the egg. It can take a while before the baby is here. She and Graviel are excited to meet their child. It is a monumental moment for all of us, really. It's going to be the first child born to someone in our group. It's the start of our future here.
They've had no luck in finding Piper even Druxen is having a hard time picking up her scent. Fiona said that he managed to track her to the edge of the Desert tribe's land, but then he lost it. So far he hasn't picked it up again, but he's been out there every day since she was taken. They are trying their hardest to find her, but we just wish she would be found already. It isn't easy waiting to see what her fate is.
"It might take time, Karen. There's a lot of places to search, and if she was taken by the rogues, they know the empty lands better the the chiefs," I said.
"Whatever, it still seems like bullshit to me. She just ups and disappears in the middle of the night, and none of the experienced hunters hear anything? Yeah, that's hard to believe," said Karen.
"Maybe they aren't as good as they make themselves out to be."
"Ha, that I can believe."
I take a bucket from the shed. Karen and I pick vegetables for dinner tonight. When it is filled to the top, Karen stands up, places her hands on her hips. "It's been a while since I've come out this way. You guys really have the place looking a hell of a lot better than it did when we first got here," said Karen.
We've been working hard at increasing the amount of plans that we grow. It hasn't been an easy task. I know that we improved the garden now that there are three of us working constantly. Looking at it through another persons eyes, you can tell that it's in better shape now than it was before.
"Yeah, it does. Doesn't it?"
She nods.
She carries the heavy bucket to our house. It is not a short walk back home, and if I had to carry it, it probably weighs about twenty-five pounds, I would have been out of breath and near collapse by the time I made it to the front door.
Karen barely reacts to hefting the heavy bucket home. All that training is most definitely paying off.
Kate has the front door open. We walk on through, and Karen sets the bucket down on the table. "Why's the door open?"
"It's getting hot in here, I needed some fresh air," said Kate. "One of you can wash the vegetables off, and the other can start cleaning the place up. The floors need to be swept again, and the table scrubbed clean. I already got the plates and bowls from the pottery shop."
Karen takes the job of washing the vegetables. I get busy cleaning the house. Within an hour, we have the house cleaned and the vegetables ready to be cooked.
We chop them up, while Kate adds the seasoning to the large slab of meat she is roasting across the fire.
"What are these for?" Karen asked.
"I'm going to boil them with some seasoning for a side dish," said Kate.
Karen grabs a pot and goes outside to fill it with water. I finish chopping the vegetables up, and when I'm finished, I ask Kate which seasonings did she want.
"The two bottles sitting on the counter over there, just add them to the water." She points behind her to where we placed the spice rack Helencia got us.
Karen brings the pot filled with water into the house. We add the vegetables and seasoning. Kate makes room over the fire for the large pot. It takes the both of us, to lift the pot up, and place it on a rack above the fire.
"Did you want our help with the meal?" I asked.
Kate shakes her head. "I've got it."
Before Kate even speaks, Karen has already reclined on the couch, taking up the entire length. I sit down in one of our chairs. I cross one knee over the other, tapping the foot on the ground.
"How's it going with you and Lorth?" Karen asked.
"All right. It's been better than I thought it would have been, though sometimes I forget that we're just friends right now," I said.
She raises her brows. "Like how?"
"When you're dating someone, you're more intimate with them, you know?" I said. "I always find myself leaning into embrace Lorth, we're friends so it should be fine, but I don't want him to take it the wrong way. He's been great with all of this, more than patient, he's been supporting, and that's something I need. Also, I've almost kissed him once or twice. I play it off by saying, I thought there was a bug in his eyes, but eventually, he's not going to believe that."
"I don't even think Gher would believe that shit for long," said Karen. "How long is this break going to go on for?"
"I don't know, I guess as long as it takes." I've not thought about how long it would take to come to terms with losing my family. I mean it's not going to happen over night. Even months later, I still find it hard living without them. It has gotten easier to live here on Ghegion, but it will take time for me fully feel at home.
"I grew up in foster care, in and out of homes my whole life," Karen starts. "My parents dropped me the fuck off at a laundry mat. They skipped town, and they ended up in Nevada. I was six, so it wasn't like I couldn't remember them." For the first time, I actuall
y see Karen look sad.
"My mom could sing really well. She used to go to these bars on Friday nights, she'd take me with her because no one else could watch me and Dad had to go with her. She would get up on this stage, and to me she looked glamorous, just like all the country singers I saw on tv. My dad would always swing me up into his every day after he got off work. It was a Monday, schooled was just let out, and they came to pick me up in their old station wagon. It was sunny outside, and I remember them whispering to each other in the front seat. I stared out the back window at the clouds. They pulled into the laundry mat's parking lot, they didn't even bother pulling into a space, just right up along the building. They asked me to go inside and wait for them. They said they had to go back and get the bag of dirty clothes. The last time I saw them was through the front window. They didn't even look back or wave, nothing. I sat there until closing, then the lady who sat at the front office called the cops."
I'm left speechless. I always knew there was a reason for why Karen acted so hard with the world. Why she didn't let the rest of us get close to her, but I never imagined this. I didn't want to. Who wants to think that parents would be so heartless as to abandon there daughter?
"Karen... I'm so sorry, that had to be terrible," I said.
"It was. If I think hard enough about it, it still is. Some things in life you don't get over, no matter how long you give yourself," she said. "Tracy, I'm not going to tell you what to do. I'm the last fucking person who needs to be giving someone advice. All I'm going to say is, don't waste your time trying to fix something inside of you. You're not going to get over losing your family, that's impossible. Why? Because you loved them and they loved you, that doesn't go away, no matter how much you wish it would."
I stare at her for a moment, stunned into silence. I open my mouth to speak, but Helencia, Lucia, and Jessa come barging in.
"Hey! We're here, now let's party!" Helencia shouted cheerfully.
Jessa settles a jug of mule on the table. "I brought the liquor, happy housewarming."
"Hey, Tracy," Lucia says to me.
"Hey, how was the garden today?" With the preparations for the dinner, I didn't have the time to work today. There isn't much to do right now, only weeding and watering. There won't be any plants ready to transplant for another few weeks.
"It was kind of slow. Hexxil brought one of her friends with her today, so there were four sets of hands out there this afternoon. It made the workload lighter," said Lucia.
"The food is done," said Kate.
Karen, Lucia, and I get up and grabs ourselves a plate of food. We all sit down together in the living room. It's a tight squeeze since we don't have as many seats as the other women do. Jessa, Kate, and Lucia sit down on the couch. Karen takes one of the chairs, while Helencia and I share the larger seat across from Karen.
"Wait! I want to say something before we start eating," said Helencia. "It would've been great, if we all were here right now. I know we're all thinking about Piper, and worried sick about whether she's safe or not. We're all tough women. I don't know if you all know that or not. What we've been through could have broken us, but it didn't. Instead, we're going with the flow and starting lives here! I'm excited! None of us know what tomorrow holds, this world is filled with so many possibilities. We can do anything we want. So, I know that wherever she is, Piper is strong and she'll come out on the other side. Let us all embrace this new life to the fullest!"
We give a round of applause for Helencia's speech before we start eating the food Kate made for us.
The dinner is spent laughing and talking about what we've all been doing the last month, or who Helencia has been doing in the last month. She's upset that she never made it back to Havrick, though she did sleep with Gallan again.
They all help us clean up when everything has been eaten. Karen and I walk out with them since she wants to get in some exercises with Gher before it gets too late. I want to stop by to talk to Lorth.
Not wanting to wake Lorth's father just in case he is asleep, I pick up a few pebbles from the street, and toss them at Lorth's bedroom shudders. I toss one after the other until the pile I had in my hand is gone. What's taking him so long? I know he has to be home, he doesn't do anything besides gardening and working at his father's shop. Sometimes he hangs out with his friends, but that isn't often. Right when I'm about to call it quits, the shudders swing open.
But it isn't the face I wanted to see.
"Well, hello there. I knew this would happen. You've grown tired of my brother, haven't you?" Havrick leans against his window jamb, arms crossed over his chest, and wears a cocky grin.
"I thought this was Lorth's window," I said.
"His is that one, but you don't have to lie, it's all right, Lorth will understand." He points at the window next to his.
"Could you let him know I'm here? I don't feel like getting more stones."
"Sure," said Havrick. He leaves the window. A few moments later Lorth comes from around the back of the house. I jump when I see him.
"Damn! You scared me. I thought you would just stick your head out the window," I said.
"I was about to come out here anyway. I couldn't sleep," said Lorth. "It's getting late, why are you here? Did something happen at dinner?"
Lorth looks worried. Knowing him, he's probably thinking of the worst. "It was fine, better than fine, actually."
The breeze picks up, causing the loose strands around my face to whip through the air. I tuck the wayward strands behind my ears. Lorth leans against his house.
"I wan..." I begin.
"I'm glad you..." Lorth says at the same time. "I'm sorry, continue."
"No, you go ahead," I said.
Lorth clears his throat. "I was saying that I'm glad you're here. I've thought a lot about it, and I think this break was for the best. I might have rushed into the mating trials, and now we'll have more time together without the pressure of matehood."
Ugh! I should have spoken first. Right when I am ready to get back together and finish what we started, Lorth decides what we're doing now is suiting him better. That's just my luck.
"What were you going to say?" Lorth asked.
"The same thing," I said.
Lorth sits down, his back against the side of the house. He pats the ground next to him. I sit down on the spot he gestured at, facing him.
"How was the dinner?' Lorth asked.
"It was fun. Karen and I finished cleaning the house, while Kate cooked. It was nice having everyone over at our house. I'm glad that it is finally done, I didn't think I would hate shopping so much, but after running around the village several times looking for the perfect rug, it stops being enjoyable," I said.
Yawning, I lay my head on Lorth's shoulder. "How's Exxil? Has it gotten easier having Lucia around?" Lucia started working for Exxil a week ago. She likes it and says that the kids are great. Her and Hexxil have become considerably close. Hexxil probably loves having a woman around the house. It can't be fun for a teenage girl to be surrounded by nothing but males, especially when you get to Hexxil's age.
"He's coming around. He said that it is odd having someone there, that's not Pops, Havrick, or me. The children love her. They can't stop talking about Lucia, all through dinner they were telling us what she did throughout the day. Even Rexxil likes her, and usually, it takes him some time before he trusts a stranger," said Lorth. He puts his arm around me.
I take a deep breath of his masculine scent. Damn, I miss being close to him. I should just tell him I'm ready to start the mating trials again. That's what I want to do, not this, but Lorth has been giving into my needs since the beginning. It's always what I want. He puts me first, no matter how he feels. He didn't want to take a break in the first place, but he went along with it.
So I swallow my words. I'll let Lorth decide when we get back together.
"Lucia's having fun and so are the kids. Exxil will eventually come around he might even become good friends with her, you never
know," I said.
Lorth tells me about working at the shop with his father and brothers. He says that he doesn't usually do it this often, only when they need the extra help because they have too big a workload. "It's beginning to get cramped there, for all of us," said Lorth.
I get it. When I lived with Mom and Tommy, we all had school or work, so we weren't all home together at the same time. When we were, it became tense quickly. Everyone needs their space, and sometimes that means having separate lives outside of the family. Lorth is used to working away from them, and they are used to working without Lorth. The dynamic has changed, and that can be stressful.
"Why are you working there? I didn't think they had that much work to do. Karen hasn't mentioned the hunters ordering new weapons or repairs, at least not a lot." The hunters are the blacksmith's largest clientele. Some of the other tribesmen order weapons and repairs, but not as often as the hunters do.
"Umm... I'm heling Pops, that way he doesn't have to work so hard," said Lorth.
That's nice of him, thinking about his father like that. His dad doesn't seem the type to take it easy, though. It must be hard for him, letting Lorth take over some of his work. "I'm glad he's taking a rest. He deserves it, that's for sure."
Lorth nods, staring off into the distance.
I rub my hands together, clearing my throat. "I'm pretty sure Helencia moved on from Havrick," I said. Lorth doesn't respond he doesn't even turn his head toward me. It has gotten windier since coming out here. Maybe he didn't hear me. I lean in closer to him.
At the same time, Lorth turns his face toward me.
Our lips brush.
Lorth quickly pulls back, an apology on his tongue.
Fuck it. It won't hurt to steal one kiss. We're friends, not hermits. I press my mouth to him again before he gets a chance to utter a word. It would have been wasted anyway I don't want a damned apology. I want my man back.