by Meg Collett
“Her water is gross! I said come with me.” Stevie grabbed his arm and propelled him out of the house.
Just like that, Kyra was alone with Hale. Her eyes drifted back to him. “Hey,” she said again, almost whispering.
“Hey.”
She took a deep breath. “Hale, I’m sorry.”
“Why are you sorry?” he asked, his expression dark as he slowly walked into the kitchen.
“Because you had to find me like that. I know how badly that must have hurt you,” Kyra said. She knew from her therapy she shouldn’t apologize for hurting herself. She just had to accept what she’d done and move on with forgiveness, but that included righting the wrongs of those she’d hurt.
“I’m glad I did.” Hale stopped a foot away from her.
“Me too. Thank you.”
He reached out and lightly touched her arm. “Why didn’t you tell me? I could’ve helped.”
“You can’t fix me, Hale. I have to do that myself.”
“I know, but…well…” He stopped himself, clearly struggling, and took a deep breath. “Do you feel better now?”
“Some days are hard, but I’m taking some medicine now to help. And Dr. Clemens is really great. I’ll see her twice a week for a while.”
“That’s good.” He nodded his approval. “You need to get better.”
“I will,” she whispered. She closed the distance between them and hesitantly put her hand on his chest. “Hale, I…”
“No, wait.” He took her hand off his chest and held it. “Kyra, I love you. I meant it when I said it, and I mean it now. But I can’t go through something like that again. When I found you, it was…it was unbelievable. I don’t understand why you couldn’t just tell me. Why did you think you had to carry that yourself?” He didn’t give her a chance to answer. “I can’t do that again. I didn’t know if I should even come tonight, but I had to tell you that what I said that day was true. I do love you. I love you so much, Kyra, but you scared the hell out of me. I don’t know if I’m a strong enough man for you.”
Kyra closed her eyes. His words burned her. He thought he had to be strong for her. But she could understand his fear and uncertainty. She focused on the fact that he’d said he loved her.
“I can be strong enough for myself,” she said, giving the words strength and meaning. She repeated them silently to herself. She may not believe it completely now, but she would with time. “You don’t have to be that for me.”
“I want to love you,” Hale said quietly. His expression was wide open and raw, always honest, always true. “But I’m scared.”
“I love you too,” she said, smiling at him. She had an idea. “But what if we forget that we love each other?”
“Wait, what?” Hale’s brow drew together in deep, worried lines. His eyes snapped with fear, and he stepped even closer to her. “No.”
“I mean, what if we just date for a while? We can get to know each other even better, and I can work on my therapy. We won’t go too fast, and we can just heal together without all the extra pressure. And then, when we’re ready, we can go back to where we were, letting ourselves love each other once we’re certain everything else is okay.”
Hale quietly thought about it for a moment. He was silent for so long that Kyra’s stomach began to flip with nerves. It was a solution she’d been proud of, but now she doubted herself. Taking a deep breath to calm her nerves, she told herself she could handle whatever he decided; she was strong.
Slowly, he smiled, flooding her body with relief. He lowered his head to hers until his lips were an inch away from hers. “You’re asking me to fake it? You know I hate people who do that.”
Kyra laughed, but Hale caught the sound with his mouth. He kissed her deeply and clearly with all the love he felt in his body. She pulled back slightly.
“Just for a little while,” she murmured, their lips still grazing.
“For you, I’ll be the biggest faker this world has ever seen. I’ll have you convinced I don’t love you. I’ll fake it so good that you’ll wonder if I’ll even call the next day.”
“Okay,” she said, laughing again. “Let’s not get carried away.”
He kissed her again. “Tell me one last time to carry me through.”
“I love you,” Kyra whispered.
Hale smiled, lowering his forehead against hers. He seemed to breathe in her words, absorb them into his soul. Finally, as Stevie and Cade clambered up the porch steps, making as much noise as possible, Hale stepped away from her.
“Eh. I think I probably just like you, but I’ll give it a shot, I guess.”
His grin was the cheesiest, fakest grin she’d ever seen in her life, but she loved it the most.
epilogue
Once upon a time,” Kyra began, tucking the pink-colored princess sheets around the little girl in a canopy bed. “There was a little princess named Anna. She was the prettiest princess in all the kingdoms, and her laugh was the brightest sound in all the lands. Her smile was more shining than the sun—”
“The sun?” Anna asked, her huge green eyes blinking up at Kyra with enthrallment.
“Yes,” Kyra said, grinning. “More shining than the sun. And Anna lived in a castle with her mommy and daddy. And her Grandmother Florence and Grandfather Garlan lived close enough to visit every day. And her crazy Aunt Stevie lived just next door, and Anna had to promise to never repeat the dirty words her crazy aunt said.”
From the bedroom’s door came a snort, but Kyra ignored it and went on. “And her Grandmother Annabelle, who had the same name as the little princess, lived in Heaven, but she watched the little princess every day. All these people and all the people in the kingdom loved the little Princess Anna with all their hearts. She was the most loved princess in all the kingdom.
“She would grow up to become a queen one day. She would be the smartest, funniest, prettiest queen there ever was. And her future king would love her more than he’d loved anything. Together, they would rule their kingdom.
“And there would be hard times, but the little princess would remember that she was strong. And that everyone has to weather some storms. Though there would be shadows sometimes, the little princess would find the sunshine inside of her to light the way.
“And she would live happily ever after.”
Anna was snoring softly when Kyra finished. She tucked the blankets tighter around her daughter and positioned her favorite stuffed unicorn next to her in bed. With a final goodnight kiss, Kyra stood from the bed and walked to her husband.
“I don’t think her habit of repeating Stevie’s curse words is going to stop just because you worked it into her bedtime story,” Hale grinned at his daughter from where he stood, propped against the doorframe. His eyes flicked back to Kyra as she approached.
“One can hope.” She stood up on her tiptoes and kissed him lightly.
“But they would probably just be faking it.”
dear reader
I hope you enjoyed this story. And I also hope you don’t struggle with the same issues that Kyra and Stevie do. But if you do, know that you are not any less of a person because a darkness plagues you. Know that something is not wrong with you. Know that the things that keep the darkness at bay may not be the healthiest way of coping. Asking for help is not a weakness. It’s strength and courage. It’s the best thing you can do for yourself.
If you enjoyed this book, please consider leaving a quick review. It would mean the world to me!
At the end of this book is the first chapter from the bestselling release, The Suit, by B N Toler!
You will want to check out this awesome new romance!
about the author
Meg Collett lives deep in the hills of Tennessee where there the cell phone service is a blessing and the Internet is a myth of epic proportions. She is the mother of one giant horse named Elle, one giant dog named Wylla, and one little dog named Mandy. Her husband is a saint for putting up with her ragtag life.
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Other Books by Meg Collett
End of Days series
The Hunted One
The Lost One
The Only One
acknowledgments
Thank you to my team of people who help me publish. It’s a long journey to publish a book, and my first stop is always with my fantastic critique partner, B N Toler. Without your enthusiasm for this project, I would have convinced myself I couldn’t tell this story. To my amazing street team turned beta readers: you all rock epically. Elizabeth Phelps, thank you for your wonderful editing. And as always, a big thanks to Crenel Publishing for formatting my books so perfectly every time. Thank you to Calista for being the friend who I could always talk to. You know my darkness, and you stick with me through all the bad days. And finally, thank you to Nate. Your love saves me every day.
preview the first chapter of BN Toler’s The Suit!
Chapter One
Earl’s, Holly Springs’ local bar and grill, is pretty busy tonight. A few people that attended the funeral today are drinking beer and eating burgers, still wearing their dress clothes. I couldn’t wait to get out of my dress and throw on my favorite jeans and just get a moment alone.
“Oh, Edie. I’m so sorry for your loss.” Elma Hart takes my hands in hers and squeezes them as she plants a hard kiss on my cheek. I was just heading back to my table from the restroom when she caught me.
“Mom, it’s Edie…like, Edeeee,” her son, Jason, lets the last syllable of my name drag on in emphasis, correcting her for me. I give him an appreciative glance.
She nods her head and backs away. “That’s what I said,” she retorts as she cuts him a stern glare, and he shakes his head as he gives me an apologetic look.
“Thank you, Ms. Hart. I appreciate your kind words,” I offer, not wishing to watch them hash it out. They both give me a friendly nod and head toward the exit.
I plop down in the booth with a sigh and pick up my pint glass.
“How’re you holding up?” Nikki, my best friend asks as she bumps my shoulder with hers.
“Honestly…” I pause. A large part of me wants to completely unload on her, share my hurt, pain, and fear with someone, but I can’t. It’s not Nikki’s fault that the last thirteen years of my life has been filled with losing anyone that means anything to me. I swear my life sounds like something that came out of some steamy, tragic romance novel—except it’s missing the steamy romance part. Besides, Nikki’s been dealt her own shitty hand in life, with a mother that ran out on her and a father who seems he couldn’t care less if she existed or not. “Beer’s helping.” I smile before taking a large gulp.
“You sure?” Nikki gives me worried look.
“Don’t worry. I’m not going to become an alcoholic because I’m sad. But, I might get hammered tonight,” I warn her.
“Then we should eat first.” She smiles. “Then get hammered,” she says, as she pulls her long, blonde hair over one shoulder.
“Always the voice of reason, Miss Reese.” I nudge her with my shoulder.
“With a troublemaker like you, someone has to be,” she jests. We both giggle because if you asked anyone in this town about me, they’d tell you I was as good and wholesome as they come. Edie James, sweet as apple pie and loving granddaughter of Bud James. While this description is kind, I’ve always hated it a little bit. Deep down, there’s a part of me that wants to go wild, live a little. Do things that nobody thinks I will.
Two hours later, Joey Harris and Dierk Reynolds sit across from us, and have us giggling like two idiots. I don’t even know what they’re saying, I’m that drunk, but whatever it is, it’s funny.
Joey has been a longtime friend and works on my grandfather’s farm—or my farm now. He always looks out for me and I kind of think of him like a brother. Nikki and Dierk have this ongoing flirt-fest every time they’re around each other, but never do anything about it. Nikki, the town beauty, and by beauty I mean, she’s won all the pageants growing up; homecoming queen, prom queen—you get the picture—and has a reputation for being a bit of a tease. Dierk is smart enough not to completely fall for her antics, but that doesn’t stop him from indulging in her games. Most men couldn’t help but go crazy for her; blonde hair, blue eyes, big boobs, tiny waist…basically she’s Barbie.
“When are you going to ask me out Dierk?” she giggles before biting her lower lip. I roll my eyes at Joey, and he just smirks before taking a sip from his beer. Joey and I have had to bear witness to this exchange between Nikki and Dierk one too many times.
“As soon as you get down on your hands and knees and ask me to, Nik,” he says before sipping his beer. Dierk is equally as good-looking as Nikki. Black hair, blue eyes like I’ve never seen, and a body you can tell he tortures daily at the gym it’s so perfect. They’d make beautiful babies together, for sure, but both of them are the types that never work for anything. If it doesn’t fall in their laps, they don’t get it, but as it goes for most wealthy, good-looking kids growing up, they seldom go without anything they want; except when it comes to each other. They love torturing each other, and neither will ever give in.
“I guess that means it’ll never happen, huh?”
“What a shame, too.” Dierk leans toward her over the table. His incredible lips—yes, I’ve noticed them—quirk into a slight smirk. “I think I could show you a thing or two.”
Joey snorts and Dierk cuts him a sharp look.
“Mighty confident,” I interrupt. Men always talk like they’re God’s gift to sex and women should tremble in their presence. I’m not the most experienced in the sex department, my lover tally totaling…wait for it…one. I can’t say sex was bad with Mick—my ex, but it wasn’t so good I’d beg for a repeat performance. My fantasies when it comes to men are far and vast from what’s available here in Holly Springs. Nikki says it’s because I read too many crap romance novels and it’s made me create this image of a man that doesn’t exist. Maybe that’s true, but I’d rather wait for a chance at perfection than settle for mediocre.
Dierk leans back, his gaze lingering on me. “You just haven’t been with a real man, Edie. I wouldn’t mind showing you a thing or two.” He licks his lips and scans me seductively. Dierk speaks like this to everyone, but I know deep down he’d show me exactly what he’s offering if I let him. Believe me, I’ve thought about it a time or two, but so has every other girl in town and the only difference between me and them is I haven’t acted on those thoughts.
“Jesus, Dierk,” Joey punches his arm. “Her grandfather just died. Keep it in your pants.”
“I’m sorry,” he replies and holds his hands up in mock surrender. “But if you need a shoulder to cry on, I’ve been told I can really drive the blues away,” he says, with a confident smile, and Joey groans.
“Dierk…” Nikki pauses, shaking her head as if she’s unsure of where to begin. There are so many things wrong with his lame attempt at sexual innuendo.
“As tempting as that sounds,” I say, sardonically, “I think I’ll pass. I’ll go get us a few more drinks,” I tell no one in particular as I slide out of the booth. Nikki doesn’t even notice I’m leaving as she texts on her phone.
I meander up to the bar and wait until Earl approaches me, his brows furrowed in sympathy. I’ve been getting that look from everybody these days. ”How’re you holding up, sug?” Standing at six feet tall, Earl is a towering man whose life is plain to see as it stretches across his face in wrinkles. He and my grandfather were good buddies, fishing partners, and I know he will miss him almost as much as me.
“Beer’s helping.” I smile and look away from him. I haven’t cried since the day Daddy Bud died, three days ago. He asked me not to mourn him. “One good cry, baby girl, then chin up,” he’d made me promise. If I stare into Earl’s worrisome eyes much longer, I might breakdown and at this moment my buzz is the only thing getting me through my pain.
“I’ll get you another pitcher,” he mumbles, and head
s down the bar toward the drafts. Guess he caught my attempt to not discuss it. I slide onto a barstool and stare at myself in the mirror that lines the wall behind the liquor bottles. I’m only twenty-two, well, twenty-three in a month, but damn if I don’t feel old. Life has somehow worn me down in a way I know it shouldn’t have. Not when I’m so young.
“What are you going to do now?” I ask myself—I think quietly—but apparently my buzz is altering my ability to judge my own volume.
“I think the entire town is wondering that,” a smooth, deep voice answers, and I jerk my head in its direction. The first thing I see is a perfectly angular face, cut jawline, and amazing brown eyes. But then…I see the rest of him. Dressed in a black suit that fits him exquisitely, accentuating his broad shoulders, the stranger peers down at me and heat blankets my skin as I take all of him in. Why is my heart beating so fast? I’m not sure I’ve ever reacted this way at the sight of a man before. Holly Springs isn’t Podunk, we have a variety of folks, including ones that wear suits so it’s not like I’ve never seen a guy in a suit before, but the stranger, he doesn’t just wear his suit. He owns it; like he was born to wear it; he looks like some kind of freaking suit model or something. To top it off, he’s severely attractive, clean shaven, and tall.
Shit. I’m staring. Stop staring, Edie.
“And how would you know what the town is wondering? You’re not from around here,” I ask him casually as if his extreme hotness isn’t making my skin tingle.
“I don’t have to be from around here. It’s all anyone is talking about. Poor Edie James. I hate to tell ya, most of them think you’re going to go mental.” He gives me a look of sympathy before sipping his highball.
My head rears back. Who in the hell does he think he is talking to me like that? Suddenly the haze of his hotness that I’ve been entranced by fades. Maybe it’s the alcohol or the fact my week has been crap, but I’m not in the mood for someone’s assumptions or pity, especially from a complete stranger—incredibly hot or not. With a smile as saccharine as I can muster, I ask, “I’m sorry, you are?”