“You want to go look for him?” Brad asks with a solemn expression. I nod. “You sure about this?”
Brad is clearly drawing the same assumptions I am. The beer settles in my stomach like rotten milk, and a layer of slime coats my tongue, but I nod again. This is no time for backing down.
We leave Kal and Keaton in the living room, squeezing past sweaty bodies as we maneuver a path through to the kitchen. There’s no sign of Ky in here or outside, so Brad guides me out through the back of the kitchen into a long wide corridor with a myriad of closed doors on either side. Moans and groans filter through the air, twisting my insides into knots. I grind to a halt, smoothing a hand across my belly, unsure if I have the gumption to go through with this. “You want me to check?” Brad asks, intuitively knowing what I’m thinking. It’s cowardly but I bob my head in acquiescence.
I keep my eyes trained on my gold-tipped black stilettos as Brad checks one door after another, apologizing profusely as a multitude of colorful language is leveled his way. Someone even throws a shoe at him, but he ducks in time, narrowly avoiding impact. “He’s not in any of the bedrooms,” Brad confirms, sidling up alongside me a few minutes later.
“What about the upstairs bedrooms?” I inquire.
“Upstairs is sealed off so all partygoers are restricted to the lower level. These are the only bedrooms down here.”
I slump against him as sweet relief washes over me. “Maybe he decided not to come after all.” I hate how pitiful my voice sounds. Tellingly, Brad doesn’t reply.
I push off the wall and straighten up. “Come on, let’s check out the front of the house.”
Heat pumps off Brad as he follows behind me. Butterflies are having a field day in my chest, and I’m still on the verge of chucking as we exit the corridor and head around the front part of the house. It’s quieter here, sounds of the music muffled by the thick floor-to-ceiling solid stone walls. The only lights are from a few carefully positioned lamps casting fleeting rays of illumination over the couples making out on all available surfaces. Every couch and chair in sight is occupied with boys and girls kissing, straddling, and dry humping one another. Lustful whimpers and cries suggest some are taking things further, and I hurry through the room, only glancing fleetingly at every couple, my heart pumping with much-needed hope when I fail to identify Ky.
Perhaps I’ve been jumping to wrongful conclusions. A calmness starts to soothe my insides as I reach the top of the room, passing by the alcove under the stairs to my right. A breathy moan stops my progress in a nanosecond, and my heart starts slamming around my ribcage in clear panic.
“Don’t look,” Brad whispers, slinging a firm arm around my waist from behind and attempting to shelter me with his body. All that does is crank my curiosity to the max.
Summoning courage, I turn my gaze to the hidden space under the stairs and the two bodies meshed together in the dark shadows. I’d know Ky’s body anywhere, and my heart rate spikes to coronary-inducing levels while I watch him grinding his hips against Addison as he claims her mouth in a searing kiss. Addison’s back is to the wall, and she has one of her legs hitched up to his thigh level. Her hands clutch at his back through his shirt. His lips leave her mouth to fit to her neck, and she emits another needy moan. “Oh, yes, Ky. Like that, baby.”
A strangled cry escapes my lips before I can stop it. Brad’s arm curves around my waist as Addison turns calculating eyes in my direction. When she recognizes me, her lips flick up into a wide smile. Reaching down, she grabs Ky’s ass and pulls him even closer to her. Every muscle in Ky’s body has gone stiff, and he’s frozen in place.
“Don’t do this here,” Brad pleads in my ear, attempting to tug me back.
“Stop.” My voice is loud and commanding, like ice and steel.
Addison cups the back of Ky’s head. “Ignore her.”
Ky reaches up and removes her hands and her leg, setting her carefully on the ground. Slowly, he turns around and faces me with a carefully constructed mask in place. “I need a minute,” he says over his shoulder, not giving Addison any time to object before he stalks toward me.
He pulls me away from Brad, keeping a firm grip on my elbow. “Leave us.” Brad opens his mouth to object but thinks better of it when Ky pierces him with a venomous glare. Ky lugs me back the way I walked and out through the front door. “You shouldn’t have come here! I left explicit instructions!” He drags his hands through his hair, conspicuously avoiding looking at me.
“I’m glad I came. I needed to see it with my own two eyes, or I’d never have believed it.” As I stare at his beautiful face, I swear I hear my heart split in two. “I know it’s not real, that she’s behind this,” I whisper, appealing to him to throw me a lifeline. I’d rather accept that than the alternative. “What’s she blackmailing you with this time?”
A sad, pitiful look appears on his face as he finally looks me straight in the eye. “She’s not blackmailing me, Faye.” His voice is quiet and firm.
I put my hands on my hips while my heart tries to take flight out of my chest. “Don’t try and tell me you genuinely want to be with her?” I snort.
He nods without hesitation, his pale blue eyes betraying no hint of emotion, and something inherent dies inside me. “I don’t believe you.” It isn’t true. I know it isn’t. I hate how my voice trembles, how my resolve starts to weaken. “She’s doing this. I know she is.”
A brief flicker of emotion skates over his face, but it’s gone before I can fathom it. “I know the truth is hard to accept, but you’ll have to find a way. You and I are finished. I’m back together with Addison.” He absentmindedly kicks at the dirt under his shoe as my heart shatters into a million pieces.
“No! Why?”
He batters his forearms. “You come with too many complications, Faye.”
His words gut me, all twisty and hurtful, but I still can’t give up the fight. “You don’t know that! It’s only a little over a week until we have the test results—would it have killed you to wait? To do that for me? For us?”
He sends me a simpering sympathy look. “Even if you’re not my sister, you’re still my cousin, and people will never accept that. This is for the best, and if you thought about this rationally, you’d see that too.”
Ignoring his cruel barb, I step right in front of him, putting my face in his. “So, you’re settling for her for an easy life?”
“I didn’t say that.” He is quick to disagree. “She understands me, and we have too much history to throw away.
“This is complete and utter bullshit.” I glare at him. “And what about what she’s done to Kal? She is as much responsible for his situation as Lana is!”
“You aren’t apprised of all the facts.” He grinds down on his teeth.
I plant my hands on my hips. “So, enlighten me.”
He shakes his head, exhaling deeply. “It doesn’t matter. It won’t change a thing. Get a grip of yourself, Faye. I’m with Addison, and the sooner you accept that, the sooner you can move on.”
“What about everything you said? You told me you loved me. I …” I stop talking before I say something else I’ll regret. I’ve already made a big enough fool of myself. I’m shivering profusely, and the frosty night air isn’t responsible.
He doesn’t reply either way, pointedly averting his eyes, and I hate how that fills me with hope. “Are you saying everything we shared was a lie?” I reach out and touch his arm. “Tell me you didn’t mean any of it, and I’ll walk away without a fight. Without further argument.”
His eyes caress mine as he stares at me and through me. My heart is thudding in my chest as a million different emotions, thoughts, and sensations fill the gap between us. His eyes touch every part of my face in turn, and it’s torture being this close to him and not being able to touch him. The silence is deafening, but every second that he doesn’t reply increases my fragile hope. I�
��m clinging on by a thread, silently praying to hear the words I need to hear.
He meant everything he told me.
I’d stake my life on it.
This is all part of some manipulation on Addison’s part and nothing more.
That’s all this is.
I shiver some more, closing my eyes briefly as I beg him to speak. Anxious adrenaline swamps my system and my legs turn to jelly. I clamp my hands against the wall at my back to steady myself.
“It wasn’t real,” he says, his voice gruff. “Those feelings were fleeting.” His detached tone spins my insides into a raw, sodden mess. “My feelings for you don’t compare to how I feel about Addison.”
Unshed tears fill my eyes, and I can’t open my mouth to speak. I’m afraid to. In case the whole dam bursts and I make an even bigger show of myself. I’m a complete mess. It’s as if my entire world is collapsing around me again. Grief and heartache surround me like a suffocating blanket.
I need to get out of here.
With my mouth set in a displeased line, I acknowledge him with a terse jerk of my head. With great effort, I walk away from the house in measured strides, holding my head up high even though inside I’m in complete bits. I keep walking, my head churning, my heart pounding, and my limbs aching, but I don’t stop. I have sole-minded focus—to put as much distance between me and him as I can.
I hear my name called, but I don’t stop, I can’t stop. I pick up my pace, jogging now, pushing my legs as fast as they will carry me in these heels. I’m pounding the pavement along the side of the driveway, about halfway to the front gates, when a car pulls up, tires screeching and rubber burning. I stop, bunching over and pressing my palms to my knees as I attempt to recalibrate my breathing.
“Get in,” Brad says, flinging the door open. Ignoring him, I straighten up and start walking again. Shrouded in a cloud of denial, I’m walking on auto-pilot, hurt lancing me on all sides. Suddenly, I’m lifted off my feet and carried to the car. I stare numbly ahead, incapable of putting up any kind of resistance. Brad locks my seat belt in place and runs around the front of the SUV, sliding into his seat. The engine roars as he steps on the pedal.
“Stop,” I say, when we reach the gates. “Turn around.” What the hell am I doing? Running off and letting him win? Letting her win? I can still see her smug, condescending face in my memory, and I latch onto it, letting rage and anger replace the heartache and pain.
Brad pulls on the brake, and turns to face me. “What?”
“I don’t want to leave. Bring me back.”
His brow furrows. “Why?”
I pull my knees up to my chest and stare straight ahead as I talk. “He’s chosen her over me, because, apparently, I’m too ‘complicated.’” I make air quotes with my fingers. “If I leave like this, he’ll think I care. She’ll think I care, and I’m fecked if I’m leaving that impression.”
“You do care.” Brad’s tone is sincere and without pity. He’s merely stating a fact.
“I do, but I’m not going to forever, because if he doesn’t care about me, then I’m not going to care about him either.”
I tilt my face up to Brad’s. “I’m not giving either of them the satisfaction of knowing how much they’ve hurt me. I don’t run. I’m not running. So, please, turn the car around, and take me back.”
Chapter Fifteen
“What’s the plan?” Brad asks, parking in the same spot outside the mansion.
I smooth my hands down the front of my dress, fluff up my hair, and apply a fresh coat of lip gloss before replying. “I’m going to party.” A devilish glint glistens in my eye. “I’m going to get drunk and kiss a boy.” I shrug nonchalantly. “I’m just going to cut loose and see what happens.”
“Em, Faye.” He worries his lower lip between his teeth. “You can’t. Do the kissing another boy part.” He looks at me knowingly. “I’m your fake boyfriend, remember?”
I drill him with a look full of intent as I open my door. “How exactly is that a problem?”
I slam my door and stalk toward the house, flicking my hair confidently over my shoulder as Brad hurriedly locks the car and chases after me.
I storm through the room like a tornado, swanning past the alcove where I last saw Ky and Addison without a glance, charging into the kitchen and helping myself to two beers. Brad takes my elbow and steers me out into the main room, weaving across the floor as he looks for my other cousins. Keaton and Kal aren’t where we left them, so I figure they’re in the midst of the crowd moshing on the makeshift dance floor. I chug my beer, draining half of it in one go. I offer the second bottle to Brad, but he shakes his head. “Designated driver, remember?”
“Oh, goody. More for me.” I proceed to finish my beer and waste no time getting stuck into the second one. I can tell Brad isn’t down with this plan, but I appreciate he doesn’t try to stop me.
I swipe another bottle of beer right out of a boy’s hand as he walks past. “Hey!” he protests, before turning his interested gaze on me, his eyes latching on my chest.
“Like what you see?” I give him a half-wink as I raise the bottle to my mouth. My lips slide up and down the neck of the bottle and his eyes glaze over.
“Get lost.” Brad sends him a death-glare. “She’s with me.”
“Good luck taming that one!” He chuckles, daringly slapping my ass before walking away.
Brad curses under his breath, and I throw back my head and laugh. I like this new plan far better than my old one. I haven’t felt this out of control in a long time—like I want to peel off my skin and adopt a new persona or bleach my brain and free it of all the things reminding me of Ky. The image of him rubbing up against Addison surges to the forefront of my mind, cleaving a line straight through my heart.
I drain my third beer without stopping, and my hips start swaying to the alluring beat of the music. I stretch my arms up over my head and wiggle my hips, doing a sexy little shimmy to the floor. I’m well aware of the heated stares I’m picking up from several corners of the room, and that spurs me on. I’m buzzing and loving the feeling. Sure beats feeling rejected and heart sore. With an upsurge of confidence, I press against Brad, circling my hands around his neck as I pull him closer. “Kiss me.”
I lower one hand, trailing it slowly up and down his back. “Come on, Brad. I know you want to.” I lick my lips, and his conflicted eyes follow the movement wantonly. Leaning in, I dart my tongue out and run a line from the bottom of his neck to his jaw, scratching the line of stubble with my cheek. “You want to kiss me so kiss me.” I slap a hand against his firm ass and groan.
“Dammit, Faye.” He closes his eyes, shaking his head. “Can’t believe I’m going to do this,” he mumbles. Removing my hands from his body, he steps back, creating some distance between us. “This isn’t going to happen.”
Rejection hits me hard and I switch to defensive mode. Narrowing my eyes, I plant my hands on my hips. “You’re rejecting me?”
“No!” His knuckles are pressed against his brow.
“Then you’ll kiss me?” I bridge the newly formed gap, sliding my hands up his chest.
He sighs in exasperation. “Will you stop touching me. Please.”
I remove my hands in a flash as a fresh wave of pain assaults me. “If you won’t kiss me, then I’ll find someone who will.” I spin on my heel, but before I can move, Brad has hauled me back to his side.
“You don’t know what you’re doing, and you’re going to regret this in the morning.”
I laugh. “I know exactly what I’m doing, and if you don’t want this, I’m sure there are plenty of boys who’d be happy to take me up on my offer.”
“Undoubtedly there are plenty of guys in this room happy to take advantage of you, Faye, but I’m not one of them, and I’m not going to let that happen. You’ll thank me tomorrow.”
I prod him in the chest, sn
arling. “When did you become such a bore? And you don’t have any claim over me. You’re not even my real boyfriend, and I don’t need you. I don’t need anyone. Now, get out of my way or I’ll make you.”
Veins protrude in his neck, at odds with his calm expression. Gently, he takes my wrist. “Please, Faye. I know you’re hurting, but this isn’t going to make you feel better. Let me take you home.”
I push him away, smoothing my hands down the front of my dress. “I’m going to dance. Alone.” I pierce him with another scathing look. “Until I’m not.” I straighten my shoulders and walk toward the dance floor, snatching another beer from one of the buckets on my way.
The dance floor is teaming with sweaty, writhing bodies, and I thrust myself into the middle of the crowd, shaking my hips and letting the music take over, eradicating the confusion in my mind and blanking everything out. All I’m aware of is the euphoric thrumming of blood in my veins, the blissful sway of my limbs, and the enhanced buzz as the alcohol races through my system helping me to blot everything out. Heat waylays me as a warm body presses into me from behind. “Hey, gorgeous,” a sultry voice croons in my ear. “You want some company?”
I turn slowly around, peering into the grayish-green eyes of the guy looming over me. His broad shoulders and strong physique give his footballer status away. He looks vaguely familiar, but I can’t remember if he’s on Brad’s old football team or his new one. Not that it matters. Judging by the way his hot gaze is roaming my curves, I’m figuring it won’t take much to seduce him. “Do I know you?” Tossing my beer aside, I slide my fingers up over the planes of his ripped chest. With his strong jawline, dark hair, and mischievous eyes, he is darkly attractive, and he’ll more than meet my immediate needs. I don’t feel guilty that I’m using him to avoid reality because I know his type. He’s never going to be boyfriend material, and that suits me just fine. I’m only interested in one night, and this guy fits the bill perfectly.
His hands land loosely on my back. “Do you want to?” he asks in a husky voice.
Losing Kyler (The Kennedy Boys Book 2) Page 14