“He’s at an interview for a job.” She sounded odd, like this bothered her.
I disregarded the twisted feeling I was getting in my stomach. I got it every time her name was brought up. It was a thousand times as bad when I was confronted with direct contact, “Well, how about you come out to my house then? Leave Alex a note and wait on the garden path. I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”
“OK, Silvia. Thanks. Bye.”
“Cheers!” I clicked the phone closed and turned around in the road, already dreading what I had just done.
She was standing at the edge of the garden when I came up. Goodness she was pretty. She looked like a clip from a film scene you'd see on a poster at a theatre, perfectly still with the setting sun illuminating her corn silk hair. I gave her a wave and she smiled. She closed the gate when I stopped and was in the car in two steps. “Hi,” She said brightly. “Thanks for coming!”
“Hello! No problem!” I began to drive.
We were both quiet for a minute. “So you and Oliver have been married for a long time?”
“Almost eight years.”
“Wow! You did marry young!”
“I have no regrets,” I smiled as I drove.
“They’re identical.” Melissa shifted her weight in the seat. With the belt pulled across her I could see the bump of her belly. “Those two, I can’t tell them apart. It’s like…it’s incredible.”
“They’re actually not identical. They’re mono-zygotic twins, yeah, but if you look, Oliver is a bit taller than Alexander and his shoulders are broader, too. He has larger feet. Alex’s eyes are a little bigger. He has a scar here,” I pointed to my ear. “Oh, and if you never noticed, Alex is left handed and Oliver is right, which only matters if they’re not trying to fool you, because they always remember to switch hands if they’re up to something.”
“Wow. You’ve done your research. I hadn’t noticed any of that.”
“It’s subtle, most people don’t. They sound just alike, though. I can’t even tell them apart if I’m not looking. They’ve fooled me more than once on the phone. They’re funny, those two. They’re so different, but then they’re so much alike at the same time. Their brains operate more or less the same way, but they behave singularly. Oliver is the more outgoing one. Alex is loads more quiet than Oliver, but both are quick witted and clever. Equally as dangerous, I’d say. Put them together and leave them to plot and anything can happen. They’ve proved that more than once,” I pulled off the main road and started on the many paths that led to our home. “Oh, and their tempers are something to mention as well. Alexander’s temper is far hotter than Oliver’s, but either of them can be a fiend if you get them angry enough. It’s best to know when to draw back with Alexander. Oliver will walk away from a fight, but Alex will take out his fork and knife and keep at it until he’s had his fill.”
“Tell me more about him.”
“Alexander?” I found that a curious request, “What do you want to know?”
“Everything.”
“May I ask you something? How long have you known Alex?”
“Eight months,” She answered quietly.
“Do you love him?”
Melissa snapped her head toward me, “Yes!” She didn’t say it like it was a reflex. She said it more like she was insulted that I had asked her. I was impressed with her sincerity.
Neither of us said anything else until I drove up the path to the cabin. Duncan had come out of the house through the dog door and came bounding down the hill to greet me, running in circles beside the car. “This is it,” I told Melissa, grabbing my books from the back seat, “It’s not much, but it’s home to us!”
“Alexander told me about this place,” Melissa said as she got out of the car and closed the door. Duncan ran to her and sniffed her shoes. He growled softly, “He thinks this is the best place on earth.”
“I agree.” I paused, sizing her up. I had no idea what she was getting at, but that feeling of mistrust was still boiling in my gut, “Melissa, what do you want to know about Alexander that you can’t ask him yourself?”
Her lids fluttered. “I just,” She glanced down at the dog and then back at me, pulling her jumper tighter around her. Her mouth went rigid. “I want to know more.”
I wished Oliver was home. He was so much better than I was at knowing the right things to say and when to say them. He could read people as if he were inside their head listening to their thoughts, “Come in. I’ll make us some coffee.”
I took Melissa into the house. “You have a beautiful home," She told me as she sat on the sofa while I made coffee in the front room. Melissa could be so sincere at times. It was truly an endearing quality and it set me back from time to time from being convinced that she was pure evil. The fire cracked inside of the stove, giving off warmth that took the chill right out of the room. I watched her look around as if she were lost. She had an expression of deep wanting in her big blue eyes. There was something about her that resonated sadness. A deep, endless sadness that I recognised and knew I'd felt before myself. It was loneliness. Melissa was alone.
Part of me felt sorry for her and wanted to be her friend, but every time I thought of reaching out that sickening crunch would go through my stomach and I pulled back. That feeling had never failed me when there was something wrong. I had learned to trust it.
“Thanks. We’ve worked hard on it. I don’t have decaffeinated coffee, sorry,” I told her, handing her a mug, “But a little caffeine won’t hurt you in your condition.”
“No, a cup or two is OK.” She smiled and took sugar from our coffee table, “Thank you.”
“No worries," I sat in Oliver’s chair. Duncan jumped up on to my lap and sat looking curiously at Melissa, “So,” I began the conversation, “What do you want to know about Xan?”
Her eyes were huge. “Everything! Tell me about when he was a kid!”
“Well, I’ve known him since we were fifteen,” I began to tell her everything I knew or could remember. I told her stories about what went on at Bennington, minus his womanising, about how he had become so interested in architecture while helping us build on to the cabin, and about him and Oliver and how close they were. “Alexander is my best friend. He’s a bit on the crusty side, but he’s the only brother I’ve ever had and beside my husband, I think he is the most wonderful man alive. You’re very lucky to have him.”
“I know. He’s great.” She had that wanting look again.
“Are you troubled about something, Melissa? Can I help you?”
“It’s just I feel weird,” She pulled her long hair back with one hand, “I know I know you and everything,” I almost laughed out loud remembering Oliver’s imitation of her in the car, but I maintained myself, “And here I am at your house asking you to tell me all about the man I’m married to like I don’t know him at all or something!” She shook her head. “It’s weird.”
“You love him right?”
“Yes!” She set her cup down, “I’m so in love with him! He’s smart and he’s funny and,” She put her hands in the air, “He’s absolutely everything I ever imagined I’d want in a husband!”
“I believe you!” I said, but I wondered now if she was being sincere or trying to convince me, “If you love him that should be enough to put it right in the end. Whatever it is.”
She seemed to relax a bit, “It’s not Alexander that’s the problem. It’s all just been so fast. Like, he’s got those dark eyes that look right through you, but in a good way. It’s hard to know what he’s thinking, though.”
“Actually, Alex is very easy to read. When he’s affectionate and funny, he’s in a good mood. When he’s stormy and brooding, he’s set off about something. If it’s you, he’ll let you know, otherwise just let him be set off. He’ll cool down. And when he’s quiet, he’s feeling snowed under and he’s looking for a cave to go hide in where he can be by himself and let the feeling pass him by. Alexander is really quite simple. All you need to know is when
to love him and when to leave him alone.”
Melissa either wasn’t listening or had missed the point, “How am I supposed to know that if he doesn’t tell me? He’s so intense all the time and then he goes off with Oliver!”
“They do everything together, Melissa. You can’t get jealous. There’s no competing with Oliver in Alexander’s mind, just like I can’t compete with Alex in Oliver’s. Those two are twin souls as well as twin brothers. They‘re tight as a dog with two tails.”
“I’m not jealous of Oliver!” Despite what she said, she seemed very threatened, “It’s just that I don’t like being alone! I can’t handle it! I’m used to having lots of people all around me all the time! Sometimes, though,” She was whining now, “I just want Alex and nobody else, but he’s always busy!”
“He’s trying to build a career,” She was really annoying me. I was not sure at all of what she was playing at. She just seemed jealous and needy to me. Not at all the kind of woman Alexander required. “I promise all he’s doing he’s doing for you. Have you told him you feel like this?”
“No, he should know he can’t just leave me alone!”
“He’s a man, Melissa. You’re lucky he can read a book. He certainly can’t read your mind.” I paused. I really didn’t like her, but I wanted to help her for Alex’s sake. “You know, Alex has always needed a lot of space. He gets claustrophobic when he’s crowded and he goes off alone. You have to trust that he’ll come back. He will.”
“Well, do you blame me for worrying? He’s my husband! I don’t know where he goes or what he does! You said yourself lots of girls have tried to get him,” Her voice was rising, “How do I know they’re not still trying? He’s so handsome! We run into women all the time and he knows every one of them by their name!”
“It’s a small area,” I mumbled.
“And some man made a comment about me nailing Alexander down! He said he never thought he’d see him married, he thought that someone would kill him over their wife or girlfriend first! What am I supposed to think?”
I hesitated on responding to that one, “Alex was…” How was I going to put it? “Not quick to settle on any woman for a while. He…” Oh, I wished Oliver was there! “Dated quite a lot,” I finished uncertainly.
“I bet he did! You’re married to his twin! You know how sexy he is!”
“They’re beautiful boys,” I agreed, “Inside and out. Alexander has his faults, Melissa, but he’s loyal to those he loves. He knows a lot of people, but, really, he keeps a small circle…”
She wasn’t listening to a thing I was saying, “Well, why wouldn’t they be trying? Oh my God! All my girlfriends at home wanted him! The way he talks! Well, maybe you’re used to that accent, but…Oh, my God!”
“We’re in Wales,” I was thinking that she was one of the stupidest people I had ever met, “He doesn’t have an accent here.”
She just kept talking. “When I met him, I fell in love with him like immediately. I was over the moon. I couldn’t believe a guy like that would choose me! I’d never been so excited about anything in my life. It was so perfect, Silvia! He was thoughtful and romantic and he listened to me when I talked…”
Wow, I thought, Alex really does love her. I was ready to shove one of Duncan's chew toys into her gob just to shut her up.
“And then,” She suddenly sounded very sad, “I missed my period.” She looked at her hands and shook her head, “I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t call him for a week, even though he was blowing up my phone. I thought for sure he’d freak out, you know? I figured he’d drop me and go running back to Wales, but he was so calm. He was like, ‘OK, so we’re pregnant! I was going to ask you to marry me anyway! Didn’t plan it like this, but all right!’ He wasn’t even fazed. I’m still fazed. I mean, I love him, but this all just happened so fast.”
There was an uneasy silence. “Their dad always says make your holiday choices and pack a lunch,” I said quietly. I really did want to comfort her. She seemed so hurt. It was like trying to reach out to an injured animal that you were almost certain had the inclination to bite you for your effort.
“Huh?” Her eyes flashed back to me.
“It means you can make plans, but you usually take the scenic route to see them through.”
“Ya think?” She laughed, but not as if it were funny, “I never thought within a month of graduating the culinary academy I’d…number one, be married…number two, be pregnant…and number three, most of all, I never thought I’d be living in Wales! I didn’t even know where Wales was!”
“Did you think he’d stay in the States?” I asked her seriously. I knew Alexander well enough to know he would never live that far from Oliver. Not for long anyway.
“He said he wanted to go back and I knew eventually we would. I guess I just thought it would be down the road or it would be like six months here, six months there.”
“Did he tell you it would be like that?”
“No. He told me that he had to go home as soon as he got his degree and his visa was up. I just didn’t think he meant it. I thought he’d want to stay for at least awhile. At least until the baby was born.”
“Alexander is usually pretty clear with his intentions,” I sighed, “But I can sympathize. You are very far from your home.”
“Ya think?”
I really wished she’d stop saying that. “It seemed a long way from Scotland when I came to Wales. And the Welsh are unique. The Welsh are…very Welsh. You don’t know what that means unless you come here.” I sat back and thought for a minute, “I imagine that you feel very much out of your comfort zone. But you married Alexander. He should be your home.” She began to cry. I knew I had said the wrong thing, but I was not sure why it had been wrong. “It’s OK, Melissa. It seems even with Alex you’re quite lonely…”
“I love him so much! I want to be with him, but I’m homesick already and I’ve only been here a month!” She sobbed, “Oliver has been very nice and Alex’s parents have been very nice…everyone’s been very nice, but this place…like, it’s not home. You all speak English, but it’s not English! I can’t understand half of what anybody’s talking about! Alexander talks about a going up a wooden gwelly and I don’t know he wants to go to bed! So I just sit there like a jerk! And I’m supposed to be a chef, but chips are crisps and fries are chips and prawns are shrimp! All I want is a bag of sour cream and onion potato chips and all I can find are shrimp flavoured ones! Gross! And all the food looks the same, but tastes different! I can’t get anything to taste right! Even chocolate tastes like crap here! And the other night Alexander took me out to dinner and they had peanut sauce on the plate with my meat! I almost puked!” She was obviously very frustrated, “And, like, I buy the shampoo I buy at home, but it smells weird. And I can’t drive! I’m always on the wrong side of the road! I feel like a moron!”
“You’re not a moron. You’re an American. We all expect you to be backwards. There are a lot of American tourists who come here and drive down the wrong side of the path, no one’s shocked by you doing it. Don’t be so hard on yourself. And not one of us you’ve met speaks the Queen’s English,” I told her. I was trying to be soothing, but at the same time I didn’t comprehend how she could not understand that when you’re married your husband is your home. For whatever reason Duncan chose that moment to snarl at a shadow on the wall. I tapped his shoulder to get him to stop as I continued, “And not one of us speaks American, either. You’re in Wales dealing with Welshmen. It’s a completely different lingo. I had to learn it, too, but you have to understand that to us, it’s you who sounds strange. We just all have to be patient.”
“That’s just it! I don’t fit in!”
“You fit in with Alexander.” I suggested desperately.
“I miss my mom!” She wailed.
“Have you called your mum?” I handed her a tea towel to wipe her eyes. “Have you told her how you feel?”
She nodded. “Yes. She and my sister are flying out in a few
weeks when she can get time off of work.”
“Well, that’ll be lovely!”
“They’re excited,” It seemed to cheer her up just a bit, “They’ve never been to Europe.”
“Wales is very beautiful. Powys is breath-taking in spots. Oliver took me to see secret places when we were younger, places that aren’t in the tour books. Alexander knows them and I’m sure he will take you there as well. ”
“Alexander said he’d take us to England, too, and Scotland if we want to go,” She looked at me hopefully, “He says we can drive there.”
“You’re not far from England where you’re sitting right now. You could walk to it if you were determined enough. A little more than two hours’ drive will get you to London. The English countryside is quite lovely. And Scotland is a hop, but not a terrible one. I’m biased, but Scotland is amazing. You’ll have a wonderful time! You can ferry to Ireland like!” I still almost felt bad for her, but for some reason I couldn’t quite get there. Duncan growled again, “Listen, Mel, I know how lonely it feels to be in a new place and know no one really, but you’ll find friends. And you already have a best friend in your husband. You two are doing all right?”
“We are!”
I looked her straight in the face. I didn’t care what Oliver said about her, she was a beautiful girl, even if I did agree her mouth was a bit fat and oddly shaped, “It’ll take some time, but we’ll be your family, too, soon enough, if you let us. And I know Alexander well enough to tell you that he’ll not hold you captive in Wales. Once you have that baby you’ll go back to the states often as you can manage the time and the tickets.”
She smiled. “I’m not miserable, really, I’m just…”
“Hormonally challenged?” I offered, “I can only imagine what you’re going through,” I looked down at her belly, “It’s OK, Melissa. That’s a Dickinson you’ve got growing inside you. One of those is enough to put anybody over the edge at times, much less two.”
“I’m glad you answered the phone,” Mel wiped her eyes, “I think I’d die if you didn’t.”
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