“She was just a little biased.” Cassandra informs her.
“But you were up for the Magellan Award!” Tori persisted.
“Victoria enough! Give it a rest, please!” Hearing the strain in her Aunt’s voice Tori stops.
“I’m full. Can I go study?” Cassandra looks at her nearly empty plate.
“You’re sure?” Tori nods. “Okay for a little while.” As Tori moves around the table Cassandra pulls her in for a hug. “I love you Victoria Lynn.” Drawing back she continues, “Never doubt it.”
Tori smiles at her, “I don’t.” She moves to the couch.
William’s mind is whirling as he tries to follow this conversation. It normally took a good six months to a year for an exceptionally bright Carinian to get through the program he’d given Cassandra. How had these two gotten so far? Victoria said the ‘brightest light’. The Regulians are looking for the light. What is this Magellan Award Cassandra didn’t want talked about. She said she’d screwed up earlier today. What is that about?
“Sorry.” Cassandra brings his attention back to her. “Not quite the dinner conversation you expected when you invited us over.” He turns in his chair to look at her.
“It doesn’t matter, as long as you’re here. Eat.” He points to her nearly full plate. Once they were both done William picks up all three plates taking the tray back into the ready room, while Cassandra checks on Victoria.
“So how’s it going?”
“Not too bad,” Tori looks up at her Aunt. “You were right. I need to know this better before we go on.”
“So you study it and tomorrow we’ll see. Okay?’
“Okay. Are you going to go talk to the Admiral?”
“Why?”
“I think he has some questions.” Cassandra looks towards the connecting door.
“I’m sure he does.”
“I’m sorry.”
“For what sweetie?”
“For arguing with you.”
‘Oh please, families argue. Didn’t your dad and I argue all the time?”
“Yeah.” Tori smiles remembering. “You always won. It used to make him so mad!”Cassandra smiles at her niece.
“I didn’t always win. Your dad was one tough cookie.”
“Yeah, he was.” Tori turns back to her writing. After a quick kiss on her head Cassandra goes to find William.
He’s standing in front of the painting of the three setting suns when she closes the connecting door. She doesn’t think this is a conversation for Tori’s ears. Turning when he hears the door close, he raises an eyebrow.
“You said we need to talk.” Walking over he pulls her close, feeling her arms go around him.
“What did you think you screwed up today?”
“What?” William put a hand under her chin so she’s looking at him.
“When I called, you’d been upset. You thought you’d screwed up. What happened?”
“I just should have realized that’s all, given Tori more attention.”
“I’m not sure that would be possible. Cassandra, you give her everything. You think about what she needs before she does. What didn’t you do?”
“I didn’t let her know that I missed her parents too, that I missed my father. I was so damn busy trying to be strong and brave for her that I didn’t let her know that it was okay for her to cry for them, to miss them. I should be smarter than that!” Putting her hands on his chest she tries to push away. Gripping her upper arms he gives her a shake.
“Stop that!” He isn’t going to let her do this to herself. “You haven’t screwed anything up! You can’t think of everything, be everything, all the time!”
“Why not?!?” She demands. “She needs me to be! God she’s just a little girl! She shouldn’t have to go through something like this. To lose everyone she loves!”
“She didn’t! She has you!” William tightens his grip bring her to her toes. “You shouldn’t have had to go through this either! But you are! Give yourself a break, you lost too!” The eyes that meet his break his heart.
“How do I make this right for her?” She whispers.
“You can’t.” He needs to use the truth to get through to her. “You can’t bring her parents back Cassandra. You can’t get the Earth back for her. All you can do is be there for her while she adjusts to the world she’s in now. That’s what you’ve been doing, damn well too.” Resting he’s forehead against hers he finishes. “I’m here. You don’t have to do this alone. Hang on to me. I’m not letting go. What can I do?” Cassandra puts her arms back around his waist hanging on.
“Just what you’re doing,” Leaning back she looks at him with sad eyes. “She thought if she cried it would mean she wasn’t brave. Brave like me, because I never let her see me cry. Brave like you and Lucas for fighting the Regulians. If she missed my father, her parents, then she was letting us down.”
William’s throat tightens at the thought of any nine cycle thinking they needed to be that strong. Not knowing what to say he leans down to kiss her. “We’ll figure something out, together, because we are together Cassandra, never doubt.”
“I’m working on that.” She replies. William’s serious eyes reminding her that he’d had something on his mind earlier.
“So what is it that I need to know?”
“What?”
“This isn’t the conversation you had in mind when you came in tonight. There is something you need to tell me. What?” The connecting door opens before William can reply.
“Aunt Cassie?” He lets her slip out of his arms.
“Hey, what’s up?”
“I’m tired.” Cassandra shots a look to William.
“Well then I’d say it’s time we get you home and into bed.”
“Okay, I already picked up my work.”
“Wow without me telling you too?” That gets a tired grin out of her. William walks over and squats down.
“Do you mind if I carry you to your quarters?” He can’t to call it their home. Tori shakes her head and steps trustingly into his arms.
“I’ll go get her things.”
By the time they arrive at quarters she’s fast asleep. William puts her in the bed as Cassandra secures the door. Removing her shoes she covers her, lowering the lights. Turning to William she takes his hand leading him to the couch.
“So Admiral, what did you need to tell me?”
William hasn’t had time to decide how to tell her. Should it be the straight out truth that he’d been irresponsible? Would she ever trust him again? Would she be upset?
“William?” She’s starting to get nervous.
“Did I ever tell you about Salish?” His voice, quiet enough not to wake Victoria.
“Your wife?” Cassandra’s taken by surprise.
“Past-wife.” He corrects.
“There’s a difference?”
“Definitely! We concluded our union ten cycles before she was killed.”
“Oh.”
“I’ve never talked about this Cassandra. No one knows about it, not my sons’ not even Quinn.”
“William, you don’t need to tell me.”
“You’re my life-mate, you have the right to know why I had a union with another.” Not sure what to say she remains silent.
“We met when I was stationed at Annam, on Carina. Her father owned the rathskeller next to the base. I was twenty-five and full of myself. I’d just come off my first three cycle tour and thought I was invincible. She was twenty-four and the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. Every man wanted her. I was the one she gave herself too.” William is caught up in the past and doesn’t notice how still Cassandra’s become.
“We were together whenever I was off duty. After a month she tells me she’s conceived. It crosses my mind that she shouldn’t have I’d been taking the Ollali juice. We unite within the week. Then I have to leave for six weeks. When I get back I don’t worry about the Ollali Juice since she’s already conceived. Five weeks later she tells me she’s w
ith child.” At Cassandra’s shocked breath he final looks at her, noticing her intense blue eyes and still body.
“She lied to you.”
“I allowed myself to be lied too. There’s a difference. I knew I was on the Ollali Juice, but didn’t question her. By the time she told me, she’d conceived Lucas and it didn’t matter. She was still having my child.”
“So you stayed.”
“Yes.”
“I take it this Ollali Juice is some type of birth control.”
“Birth Control?”
“So you can’t get or in this case cause someone else to conceive.”
“Yes, it is the male’s responsibility.”
“Really? On Earth it was mostly the woman’s since she’s the one that gets pregnant…conceives.”
“Where’s the man’s?”
“There if he wants to be.”
“Doesn’t sound like much of a man.”
“Sometimes you’re right. But it’s the woman’s body. She has the right to say what happens inside it.” William looks at her.
“That’s what you believe?”
“Yes. You have control over your body with the Ollali juice. Why shouldn’t a woman have the same?” William just looks at her then continues.
“Not long after Lucas we had Kyle. Salish stayed on Carina with the boys. She wanted to be near her family.”
“They didn’t go on tour with you?”
“No.” He sees Victoria is still sleeping.
“After one extended tour I came home and discovered that there was nothing left of our union except our sons. So we concluded it.”
“I’m sorry William.” That startles him.
“Why are you sorry?”
“Because it still hurts you,” She leans in to put a hand on his cheek. “You think you failed. You don’t like to fail. But you didn’t, she lied to you, but you did the honorable thing. You didn’t fail.”
“Most life mates wouldn’t see it that way.”
“I’m not most life mates now am I.” She gives him a slight smile. “What she did was wrong. But what I know is this, if she hadn’t tricked you into a union then you’d never of had Lucas. If you hadn’t had Lucas then he wouldn’t have crashed on Earth. If he hadn’t crashed then you wouldn’t have come to save Victoria and me. If you hadn’t done that then I wouldn’t have found you. So while I think what she did is absolutely wrong I’m thankful she did.” Cassandra leans in to finish her little speech with a gentle kiss. William, stunned, pulls her closer.
“So why did you want me to know this?” Leaning back she looks at him. Taking a deep breath William is ready to tell her when her comm center rings.
Jumping out of his arms Cassandra moves to silence the ring before it wakes Victoria. Picking up the headset she answers.
“Chamberlain. Just a minute, it’s Quinn for you.” Handing him the headset she steps away.
“Zafar.” He watches Cassandra. “I’ll be right there. I need to leave.”
“I gathered that.” She walks him to the hatch.
“Cassandra, we need to finish this. There are things you still need to understand.”
“But not now, now you need to be the Admiral. We’ll talk later.” She opens the hatch, securing it as he walks away. William is half way down the corridor before he realizes he hasn’t kissed her goodbye.
Turning from the door Cassandra’s mind is racing. What’s really going on here? Why did William want her to know about Salish? Just to know? Or is there something else? He’s an honorable man, she’s always known that. This just reinforces it. Unable to come to a satisfactory conclusion Cassandra changes and climbs in next to Tori. Tomorrow will be here soon enough. Maybe she’ll find the answers then.
During breakfast Cassandra answers her comm center to find Javiera on the other end.
“How are things going there?”
“Pretty good, we’re just finishing first meal.”
“Well Amina has been begging me to call to see if Victoria would be up for a visitor this afternoon.” Cassandra looks at Tori.
“I think that would be a great idea. She’s starting to climb the walls here.”
“Great! It’s a date then. We’ll see you around 1500.” Cassandra turns to Tori.
“Well it looks like we’re having company this afternoon.”
“Yes!”
“So we’ll study for awhile, then after lunch see how your feeling.”
“Aunt Cassie. I’m fine.”
“We’ll see. Done?”
“Yes.”
“Then let’s get started.”
Before they know it, Hutu was at the door with second meal. After they eat it’s Cassandra that’s feeling tired. She does some quick math and realizing it’s time for her cycle.
“Crap!” She mutters. How is she supposed to handle this? She knows her body. She’s going to be in for a lousy day and a half. Most women had a five day cycle every twenty eight days. While Cassandra is lucky to only have hers every forty five days, she pays the price by having the five days condensed down into just thirty six hours. On Earth she had all the supplies she needed. Here…
“Is something wrong Aunt Cassie?” Victoria looks at her.
“No honey nothing’s wrong. So you want to take a rest before Amina comes or work a little longer?”
“Let’s work a little longer.”
At 1500 Javiera is knocking at Tori’s door. Opening the hatch Amina goes rushing by to find Tori.
“Amina, manners!”
“Sorry. Hi Cassie” Amina says as she hugs Tori. Javiera smiles an apology to Cassandra as she comes into the room.
“She all but ran here.”
“That’s okay, Tori’s been the same. She’s pretty sure I’m taking Dr Bliant too seriously.”
“But you’re not.” Javiera says in a knowing mother’s voice. Cassandra gives her a grateful smile. “Are you okay? You’re not looking very good.”
Cassandra looks to see that the girls were chattering away on the bed. Does she confide in Javiera. Could she not?
“Javiera, what do Carinian women do when they have their menstrual cycle?”
“Their what?” Cassandra is trying to figure out how to explain.
“When you conceived Amina, you knew because…”
“Well my first clue was I missed my flow….oh…so which is it?” She asks.
“Which?”
“Have you conceived or…”
“No!” The girls look over then return to their conversation.
“No.” Cassandra says in a lower voice. “My ‘flow’ is starting. I don’t have anything to…”
“Understand. Why don’t I just run back to our quarters, get you what you need.” Cassandra gives her a grateful look. Surprisingly what she brought back wasn’t that different from what she was used too. Carinian and Earth woman seemed to have very similar biology.
“Thank you again Javiera. You’re a life saver.” Cassandra says opening the hatch.
“Please, we woman have to stick together. I’ll show you where you can get your own supplies sometime when we’re out. Now you get some rest. You’ve been through a lot lately.” Securing the hatch Cassandra looks at Tori. The little girl is starting to fade.
“What do you say we eat dinner here tonight? I’ll let Hutu know, than we can have an early night.”
“What about the Admiral?”
“I’m sure Hutu will let him know.”
“Shouldn’t we?” Tori persists.
“Tori, if I knew how to get a hold of him I would. I can’t just call the bridge asking for him.”
“Why not?”
“Because he’s the Admiral, that’s not something you do. Please. Enough.”
“Okay.” A little while later Hutu arrives with their meals. Cassandra’s looking ill enough for Hutu to notice.
“Are you alright?” He asks as Cassandra walks him to the hatch.
“I’m fine.” She insists as she secures the door. Picki
ng up her forc she finds she really has no appetite.
“Aunt Cassie? What’s wrong?” Cassandra looks at her niece. Does she tell her the truth? Had Cyndy ever talked to her about these things?
“Aunt Cassie, are you sick?” Tori’s voice wavers.
“No honey, no.” She has to calm her fears. Setting down her forc she looks at Tori. “I don’t know if your mom ever told you about what happens to your body when you become a woman.”
“You mean your menstrual cycle?”
“Yes.” She closes her eyes relieved.
“Yeah, we had this whole talk about it last year. Mom showed me all the ‘stuff’. It was weird. So that’s why to don’t feel good? Your cycle?”
“That’s about it.”
“Wow. I didn’t know it could do that. I hope I never get it.”
“Sorry kid you will, but not for awhile. Now you eat. I’m going to take a shower.”
In the Admiral’s quarters Hutu delivers a single meal. William looks at the solitary plate and realizes that less than a week ago he wouldn’t have noticed. Now it looks wrong.
“I took the ladies their dinner at 1800 sir.” Hutu hesitates.
“What is it Hutu.”
“Cassie looks ill sir. She said she was fine but… I thought you should know.”
“Thank you Hutu.” William’s gut clenches. Is she already having conception side effects? Why hadn’t she called him? Going to his comm center he rings their quarters.
“Hello.” Victoria answers.
“Victoria, this is the Admiral.”
“Hi Admiral.”
“I need to talk to Cassandra.” He realizes he needs to hear her voice.
“She’s in the shower, she’s not feeling good.” The shower shut off. “Sounds like she’s done, you want me to get her?”
“Yeah.” It takes several minutes but he can hear Cassandra telling Tori to get in. Finally she picks up the headset.
“Hi.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Wrong? There’s nothing wrong here.”
“You’re not feeling well.”
Cassandra's Challenge Page 14