“You comforted her, made it alright.”
“No. I didn’t. It got by me.” William sees guilt in her eyes. “I didn’t realize until later when she hadn’t come out for a kiss goodnight. She cried herself to sleep William and by the time I realized it Lucas came. He made it right for her, comforted her.”
“You think you failed her.”
“I know I did, I should have realized she’d be upset.”
“Maybe, but you didn’t fail her. You kept her safe, her and Amina, if they’d been in that class room…” He didn’t like to think about it. “You’ve had to handle a great deal by yourself since the attack on Earth. You shouldn’t have had too. I should have been helping instead of adding to it.”
“William…” Gentle fingers silence her lips.
“I have. I’ve been very selfish. My need for you, desire for you. It’s added to the weight you’ve been carrying, when it should have been lightening it.”
“You’re not a weight William.” Kissing his fingers she looks at him. “When Lucas was here he wanted to know how we dealt with it. I told him by knowing we had each other, by remembering what we lost but being grateful for what we’d found. I found you. It’s a gift. It makes what I lost bearable.”
“You were sobbing. I couldn’t help. I didn’t know what was wrong.” His heart twists remembering.
“I know. But you did help. You held me, let me cry. Tori is safe, you’re safe. Everyone I’ve come to care about is safe.” She takes a deep breath. “My family didn’t survive, but I found you. I’d never have found you if the Regulians hadn’t attacked Earth. They died and I found my soul mate.”
“You had no control over any of that.” His voice won’t let her take any blame.
“No, I didn’t. I know they’d what me to be happy. But sometimes…”
“It sneaks up on you.”
“Yeah.” William rolls pulling her under him to frame her face.
“I’m here when it sneaks up on you. I’ll hold you as you cry for what you’ve lost. I’m not letting go Cassandra. I can’t. We’ll find a way, together. We’ll have the life that we want, with our children. I promise you.” He seals his promise with a kiss.
Returning his kiss she slides her hands down his back under his waist band to pull him closer. She needs this man, needs him in every way possible. Bringing her hands around she eases his pants past his rapidly thickening shaft. Lifting her hips she presses her entrance against his tip.
Releasing her lips William slowly presses into her, watching the passion build in her eyes as she takes in more and more of him. As he moves to withdrawal she groans, tipping her head back, she hooks her ankles behind his legs.
His mouth attacks the neck she’s exposed, causing a trembling to start deep inside her.
“William!” Something is different. She doesn’t know what she just knows she wants it.
Driving into her William pins her lower body to the bed with his. Lifting his head from her neck he looks at her with violet eyes more turbulent then any storm.
“I love you Cassandra, with everything I am, I love you. Accept me, accept everything I am. Accept me as your life mate for you are mine.”
William watches as Cassandra’s eyes widened then become an even darker blue as he makes his request.
“I love you William. With everything I am, I love you. You are my life mate, there will never be another.” Pulling him to her she kisses him, sealing her vow.
The trembling inside her is growing William can feel it as he grinds his hips against hers. It pulls at something very basic in him, the animal need to mate completely with her. Lifting her hips he can feel the teeth of his desire demanding he take her, to make her his, and only his. Breaking off the kiss William tries to regain some control. Looking into his life mates eyes destroys any chance he might have.
Cassandra’s eyes are blazing, there is a need deep inside her, fighting to break free. She needs to make this man hers, and only hers. She needs him more than her next breath.
“Please William.” She cries as her legs try to pull him deeper. “I need you.”
The animal breaks free as he rams himself into her, deeper than ever before. Then withdrawing to do it again, her cries of passion captured in his mouth as his hands rip open her shirt to claim her breasts, his hands bruising, marking their territory.
Cassandra’s legs wrap around his waist, she must have more, must have all of him. Her nails dig into his back, marking him as her hip piston up to meet his.
Sweat pours off both of them as the passion grows, the need between them a living thing. Gripping her hands over her head, William’s mouth scorched a trail down her neck to furiously suckle from her breast, the actions causing her to viciously tighten around him. Exploding together William empties everything he is into his life mate with Cassandra accepting everything.
Minutes pass with heavy breathing the only sound. William finally manages to roll to his side, pulling her close. How had he ever thought he could give her up? Just thinking about it causes him to pull her closer.
Rising up on her elbow Cassandra looks down at her life mate. His violet eyes satisfied, his handsome face relaxed. Reaching up she caresses his cheek. Turning his head he kisses her palm.
“You should get some more sleep.” He starts to tell her stopping when she smiles at him. “What?”
“You are always trying to get me to either eat or sleep. I think you want me fat and lazy.”
“I want you to take care of yourself because you’re always taking care of everyone but you.” As she opens her mouth to argue she stops, seeing the look in William’s eyes.
“How bad is the damage?” He lets the subject drop, knowing she has other concerns right now, but it won’t be forgotten.
“We lost eighteen all from the nuclear hit, twenty-eight serious in medical. We were lucky.” Cassandra watched his eyes as he tells her about his crew. An Admiral has to accept losses as part of the job, William didn’t.
“I’m sorry. But I disagree it was skill and training, not luck.”
“We knew they were coming.”
“They didn’t know you were. That’s the skill, you took away their advantage.”
“Possibly.” Looking at her he tucks a piece of hair behind her ear.
“How bad is your fleet?”
“It’s Carnot’s fleet.”
“Bull shit, it’s yours. Those are your men, your ships, how badly did Carnot mess it up?” She has no patience on this subject.
“He didn’t mess up, they simply had no time. The Regulians shouldn’t have attacked with the Retribution gone. But they did and they hit hard. The Sentinel is dead in space, no news on survivors. The rest of the fleet took heavy damage. Not all ships are stabilized. Intel is spotty. At this point the border is undefended.”
“We’re heading that way then.” He should have realized she would expect that, her protection instinct is strong.
“No, Valerian is sending three battleships to the border. They’ll be there in three days. Until then we stand.”
“The last line.” Again he shouldn’t be surprised she understood.
“Yes.”
“Why didn’t they have any time?”
“The Regulians had the fleets’ coordinates.”
“Again?”
“Yes.” Sliding out of bed William starts to pace. Cassandra sees the damage her nails had done to his back. “I don’t know how they’re getting the Intel.”
Cassandra sits up, “There was another transmission?” As she goes to button her shirt she finds she has no buttons.
“Yes.” Watching, William walks back to her, a self-satisfied smile on his face until he opens the ruin shirt to see the bruises he’d left on her. Gently he touched one. Seeing his expression, she rises to her knees, framing his face with her hands.
“I’m fine.”
“I marked you.”
“And I marked you.
“What?”
“Your
back.” William flexes his shoulders feeling a slight sting.
“That doesn’t matter.”
“And neither does this. William,” She kisses him lightly. “Do you regret what we experienced together?”
“Never.”
“Then you can’t regret this, it's part of it. I have no regrets, well you might have left me some buttons.” Smiling she kisses him again.
“I’ll try to remember that next time.” Pulling her up so her naked breasts are pressed against his chest, he kisses her senseless.
Gripping his waist she tries to maintain her balance. He’s always able to do this to her. Sliding the ruined shirt from her shoulders his comm center rings, causing them to freeze. Resting his forehead on hers, he takes a deep breath and pulls her shirt back up. With regret in his eyes he walks over to the comm center.
“Zafar.”
“Admiral, we’ve picked up another Regulian transmission.”
“Translation?”
“We don’t have it yet, the attack fried the translator, but it was sent from Carinian space.” William looks at Cassandra, who nods.
“Send the transmission to my ready room comm center, secured line.”
“But sir it isn’t translated.”
“I know that! Send it!” The Admiral is not happy. Walking to their closet Cassandra pulls on pants and shirt, giving William a slight smile as she buttons it. Sitting on the bed she pulls on thick socks, deciding against her boots. Taking a moment she watches him dress. Feeling her eyes on him William turns, pulling on a shirt, his pants still unbuttoned.
“You’re a beautiful man, William Zafar.” She tries to control the blush she feels creeping up her neck. Tucking his shirt in his pants, William walks over to her, lightly touching her reddening neck.
“You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” His violet eyes serious. “I will love you for eternity.” Cupping her face he softly kisses her. “Ready?”
“Yes.” Together they walk into his ready room.
Chapter 9
As Cassandra listens William plays the transmission. Replaying it she begins to translate.
“Where is the Light? It must be extinguished! The….”
“Replay that part.” She leans forward.
“The other is to be ignored. Find the Light…finish it.” She leans back. “That’s all is says.”
“They don’t know where you are.”
“But they still attacked the Retribution.”
“Only after they discovered we were gone. They were covering their bases. If they’d been sure they would have sent all their ships. We wouldn’t have stood a chance alone.”
“Can you send this to the comm in our quarters?”
“Yes, why?”
“I want to show you something.” Walking into their quarters she turns the lights up, the day has started. At the comm center she pulls up the results of the first three transmissions.
“It bothered me that you were unable to trace the transmissions. There has to be a way to know who sent and received them. So I worked out a program to search for identical coding in the known transmissions.”
“Cassandra do you realize what goes into sending a transmission, the layers of coding?”
“So I discovered, but while I can isolate a set of identical codes in the first three, the fourth only carries one. But I don’t know what the coding means. I need a base to compare them too. This one I’m sure is Regulian.”
“You were able to find common codes in first three transmissions?” William isn’t sure why he’s shocked. He holds up his hand before she can answer. “Show me.”As he studies the transmission coding Cassandra puts the bed in order, then sits and waits.
“This is the Regulians.” He touches the screen.
“That’s what I thought, since it’s also the coding in the Regulian ship to ship transmission that gave the fleets location. But what ‘tells’ you that?”
“Every ship has a specific transmission code. We’ve had the Regulians since the Battle of Fayal. Anyone sending has to know the code and have authorization to send to that specific ship. There are differing codes depending on the security level needed and the clearance level of the sender.”
“So another string of coding would be included if the High Admiral were to send you a transmission whether it was urgent or just to tell you happy birthday.”
“Yes.”
“But if he wanted it secured….”
“There would be yet another layer.”
“And somewhere in all that coding is not only the High Admiral’s code…but yours.”
“Yes, but to find it you first need to know the code.”
“Not if you’re comparing transmissions. I might not know whose codes they are but I will know the codes. And somewhere in there it has to tell you where it originated and where it’s going. Just like we know the second transmission that came from Carinian space was sent to the Regulian ship Cimex, we have the ship’s code.”
Listening to her, she makes it sound easy, but he knows it’s not. It’s always been a matter of pride that the Coalitions codes have never been broken.
“How does the personal coding work? Say for you. It would have to include some type of rank coding, then there’s the name, security clearance, then I would guess something to make it distinctly your own. Something chosen by you, known only to you that must be entered to verify identity, like a signature.” Cassandra paces as she thinks out loud. Standing William stops her, she’s just identified every single item needed to create a security code.
“What’s the Magellan Award?”
“What?” She’s baffled by the change in subject.
“The Magellan Award.”
“It doesn’t matter.” She tries to pull away.
“I think it does. In engineering you once said it’s not like you don’t have clearance. You wrote codes.”
“I wrote some codes to protect military transmissions. Codes that would help keep my brother safe.”
“And the Magellan Award?” Looking at him she realizes he’s not going to let this go and sighs
“The Magellan Award is…was…given out once every ten years, it’s recognizes a person’s achievements in multiple fields of study. While the fields can vary, the person must be regarded as an expert by their peers in each field. If they don’t find a worthy recipient, they wait another ten years. Satisfied?”
“How many fields?”
“William.” Giving in she answers. “Four. Physics, Language, Communications, and Ancient Sumerian.”
“You were considered an expert in all these fields.”
“On Earth, it’s not relevant here.”
“I think it is. Cassandra, in the short time you’ve been here, you’ve learned not only our laser system, but a language very few understand, even after cycles of training. You read our ancient language and have basically summed up how we protect our communications. How can you not think you’re not relevant?”
“Because I still have so much to learn! So I can fix the laser, how do I provide for Victoria? I understand Regulian, who speaks it? I can find you all the identical codes you want but if I don’t know what they mean how do I find the source?!?”
“Shhh.” Pulling her into his arms he rubs her back kissing the top of her head. This woman of his has many layers, he’s always known that, but doubt, in herself, in her abilities, is something he never thought she’d have. She always presented such a controlled front something he of all people should know is just that, a front.
“We will work it out Cassandra, together. We will provide for Victoria, she’ll be safe, and loved, and have what she needs. I know you hate not knowing, especially the things we assume you do. You need to tell me when that happens otherwise how can I help? I won’t think you stupid, fuck I think you’ll be the smartest woman on Carina too.” Framing her face he tips her face up to look in her eyes, “Our children will be amazing.”
“You’re trying to distract m
e from feeling sorry for myself, and doing a really great job of it too.” Rising to her toes she gives him a soft kiss. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“Making the award into such a big mystery, it really doesn’t matter, and not because it was on Earth.” She stops him before he can protest. “I wouldn’t have won. That’s the reason I didn’t want to talk about it, ego over some stupid award.”
“Why wouldn’t you have won?”
“Honestly?” He nods. “I don’t have a dick.” At his confused look she starts to laugh, then gently caresses his. “One of these, no woman has ever been awarded the Magellan. I wasn’t going to change that.”
“That’s wrong.”
“Yes.” Looking in his eyes she sees he’s still troubled. “It’s good you asked I needed to tell you. But now we have more important things to worry about.”
“You need to understand the codes.”
“If I’m going to track the Carinian source then yes. But I want to search on all Carinian communications. There’s something missing I can feel it.”
“We’ve been recording all transmissions from all ships in the fleet since the first transmission was found. They are here on the Retribution.”
“Can I access them?”
“Cassandra, that’s weeks’ worth of searching.”
“No it’s not. It’s not what the transmission says it’s how it was sent. That’s just a blimp on the transmission. I can find if we’ve missed any.” The gleam in her eye tells him she’s excited about the challenge.
“You’ll have the transmissions. I’ll work on the codes.” Both turn as they hear Tori’s door open. A sleepy girl with red-rimmed eyes walks towards them, reminding William that all hadn’t been right in her little world lately.
“Hey you’re up early.” Cassandra squats down giving her a hug.
“I couldn’t sleep.”
“Still sad?” Little shoulders just shrug. Cassandra looks up at William as she gives her another hug. Squatting down next to her he gently rubs the small back.
“Why don’t I call Hutu, have him get first meal started.” Sad green eyes look into his, pulling at his heart.
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