He turned around and let the water stream over his back. He would just try to act normal, and rational, when he was around her, which didn’t have to be too often. He had a ranch to run, he couldn’t spend time trying to seek her out. Although, there was today he had to get through, if she came down to the stables. Maybe it would just be better if she didn’t.
He tried to make sense of his reaction to her. Sure, she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, but he wasn’t a man who went crazy for a woman just because she looked good; she had to have personality to match. Well, she did. Last night at dinner was the best time he had had in long time, and it wasn’t even just the two of them. His friends were there, and she fit in so well. She was smart, funny, and caring. She tried to draw Jake out of his awestruck state, and the fact that Jake was completely mooning over her didn’t seem to faze her. She could’ve been the kind of woman who basked in such male attention, but she didn’t.
Hell, she was everything he ever wanted in a woman, wrapped up in the body of a goddess, and he couldn’t touch her.
Chapter Four
Snow was falling gently again as Abby made her way over to the stable, deciding to walk over and get some exercise. As she approached, a group of dogs ran over to greet her, a mix of Australian Cattle dogs and Border Collies, and they ran around in circles, as if trying to herd her. Abby laughed at their antics, and stooped down, letting them sniff her. She loved dogs, wanted one, but Steve thought they were dirty and had always said no when she had asked for one.
“That’s a pretty sight.” Ben commented when he walked over to where Logan was standing, a booted foot up on a corral fence. Logan looked at him, then looked back at Abby, crouched down among his herd dogs. She had on a tan Carhart jacket and Wrangler jeans, her hair in a ponytail with a ball cap on her head. She didn’t look society today, which was a low blow in Logan’s eyes. She looked even more attractive now than she did this morning, all sleep tousled and angry.
“Well, it’s a hands-off sight.” Logan mumbled and turned to walk into the shadows of the stables. Ben followed, laughing.
“Jake said this morning you didn’t come home last night. He was all broken up over it. Want to talk?” he leered jokingly. Logan rounded on him, and he backed up a step. Logan was angrier than he had ever seen him, and Ben shut his mouth, an uncertain smile still on his lips
“I’m only going to tell you this so you can pass it on to Kassey and tell her not to prod into Abby’s life.” Logan took a deep breath, wondering if he should tell Ben everything.
“Abby is here to try to rebuild her life after what was apparently a very bad marriage and an even worse divorce.”
Ben stilled, the smile disappearing from his mouth. His ice-blue eyes darkened in anger.
“Was he an abuser? Did he beat her?” he asked softly.
“No, but he’s been running around on her for two years.” Logan replied, running a hand through his hair. Ben was much like him, running to a damsel in distress.
“Hell, that’s almost as bad. What’s she gonna do? Go home to her parents?”
“She’s trying to decide whether or not to go back to Boston and take up what life she had there.”
Ben grimaced.
“She can’t do that. Why would she want to go back to a place that she was only living at for her ex? She should at least go back to her parents place.”
“She didn’t really say. You get used to a place after a while though, so it probably feels safe to her, has routines that she’d used to.” Logan paced over to a stall and braced his hands on the door. Despite how he felt, he still didn’t think that was a good enough reason for someone to stay in a city that would only serve as a reminder of what was lost. It wasn’t as if she was from there, or had family out there. Did she? He didn’t know, he didn’t know her well enough.
“Hell, that’s no reason to stay.” Ben replied, reading Logan’s mind.
“That’s what I told her.” He took a deep breath, then mumbled, “That’s when I kissed her.”
Ben’s mouth dropped open.
“God, I didn’t want for that to happen, it just did.”
Ben snapped his mouth shut. Logan was clearly torn up, so he didn’t think humor would be good here.
“Did she kiss you back?”
Logan glared at him. “What’s that got to do with it? She was hurting and was just looking for comfort and I took advantage.”
“Just answer the question.”
“Yes, she did. And it was fantastic. And now I hate myself. She’s hurting and vulnerable and I took advantage.”
“You’re too much of a do-gooder Logan. The bastard cheated on her, she had the good sense God gave smart women and got out, and he lost all rights to her when he cheated on her. I believe in good manners and opening doors for women, but that kind of chivalry is dead.” Ben said.
Logan turned on him, his hackles up. Ben was a good friend, probably his best friend, but what he was suggesting…
“Ben, to pursue her in the condition she’s in isn’t about chivalry, it’s about being a decent human being and I thought you would understand that.”
“Whoa, take a step back, why don’t you. I’m not saying you should throw her down in the hay and do the deed, but if the attraction is there, and your both consenting adults-“Ben stopped, seeing the look on Logan’s face. “Hell, son, you’re in love with her, and you don’t want to be just some rebound, is that it?”
“Don’t be stupid, I am not in love with her, I just met her 2 days ago and barely know her.”
Ben chuckled and shook his head. “Logan, I’ve known you for 10 years and better. We used to cat around together before Kassey and I finally hooked up, so I know you. I watched you at dinner last night, watching her. I ain’t never seen you look at a woman like that. And when you weren’t watching her, she was watching you. That’s all I’m saying.”
“Well, you better stop saying, ‘cause here she comes.”
“Just so you know, I’m going to tell Kassey so she’ll keep her mouth closed and not go prying. We’ll talk later, though.”
“Christ Ben, I thought I could trust you to keep your mouth shut. And no, what we’re going to do is drop it. I’ve said what I need to say. You draw your own conclusions.” Logan growled and walked away. Ben chuckled again to himself and went off to find Kassey. She was gonna love this.
Abby raised a tentative hand as Logan walked towards her, his long legs carrying him closer to her. She had resolved to tamp down the attraction she felt for him, hoping she was woman enough to just forget it, but the sight of him turned her insides to jelly. She would just have to push it aside and nurse it in solitary.
“Hey, Logan. I’m sorry about this morning. A little left over whiskey talking I guess. No hard feelings?” She stuck out her hand when he stopped in front of her, looking up at him.
He knew what would happen when he touched her, so he tried to prepare himself for the jolt that her touch caused, but it still hurt him to his toes when he took her hand in his and gave it a quick shake.
“We sure do apologize to each other an awful lot. Let’s just try to forget everything that happened, okay?” That was the last thing he wanted to do.
“Sounds good. You got a horse for me to ride?”
She could forget her name faster than she forget what happened and how he felt to her. Logan turned away and walked up the row of stalls, and Abby followed him. He didn’t sound angry, but he was different, held away from her.
Memories of the night had started to come back to her in the shower, and she remembered how they had talked most of the night. Despite the wild attraction between the two of them, she had thought maybe they could become friends at the very least. The only other person she ever spent the whole night talking with was Joyce, so naturally she had thought she and Logan could get past the night. Now he was a little cold, a little aloof, and it puzzled her.
Logan figured that if he treated her like a guest, it would be easi
er, but it would definitely be a challenge.
“This is Ellie, and she’s a champion. I usually don’t let guests ride her, but since I know your background, I figured I could trust you with her. I’ve got some things to take care of at the office and then I have to run some fences. The tack room is over there and you can use any saddle you want. Ellie’s bridle is marked with her name. Ride anywhere you’d like, just watch for bears. If you’d feel better, I’ve got rifles in a gun case in the tack room. You do know how to shoot right?” Logan finished, turning his gaze toward her, a black eyebrow quirking up.
Abby just nodded. He turned away from the hurt in her eyes, and walked away. Abby listened to the sound of his footsteps as they faded away, then turned toward the horse that was nuzzling her shoulder.
“I hate men.”
Logan kicked himself for treating her the way he did, but it had worked. Oh, he still wanted to lay her down and bury himself so deep in her that they both screamed, but he had been able to quiet the need to a low roar somewhere around his groin. But he didn’t know if he could keep up the cold attitude. The hurt in her eyes had almost killed him, and if she looked at him again like that, he might just fall into a gibbering mess at her feet, groveling for forgiveness, and how would that look? No, he was just going to be aloof, keep her at arm’s length and not get caught up in those green eyes.
Abby took Ellie out of her stall, and hooked her up to the crossties. She would just turn her attention to the horse, and enjoy her ride. She went into the tack room and found a curry brush and hoof pick, and settled down to an old habit she didn’t realize she missed so much.
Ellie was a good mare, and obviously loved the attention Abby was giving her. She fell asleep in the cross ties as Abby ran the brush over her glossy chestnut coat and brushed out her tail. Abby lost herself in the movements, then bent down to pick Ellie’s hooves, then put the pick in her back pocket. She went back into the tack room, and grabbed the saddle and saddle pads and hefted them over the mare’s back, remembering from long ingrained habit the intricate details of tacking up a horse. Concentrating on her task, she didn’t realize that she wasn’t alone.
“You do that well, for a city girl.” Kassey said, sticking her head out of a stall.
“Jeez, you scared me!” Abby said as she spun around. Kassey came out of the stall she was in, leading a gray gelding.
“Sorry. I didn’t know whether or not to wait until you left. Then I decided I wanted to talk to you. Do you mind if I join you on your ride?”
Abby looked at her. She couldn’t decide yet if Kassey was friend or foe. Abby had always gotten along with men better than women, but since Logan had defected, she really didn’t want to ride alone.
“Yeah, that’s fine.”
“Let me get Raffy saddled up, and I’ll meet you outside.”
Kassey looked over at Abby, who rode amazingly well, and grudgingly admitted that she probably was a good sort. At the dinner table last
night, when she had talked of her life on the cattle ranch, Kassey still thought she might be from one of those huge cattle ranches that were more like a wealthy enterprise than a true cattle ranch, where if you had a bad winter and lost a lot of cattle, you could lose your ranch. True, Logan was wealthy in his own right, but he had made the money, money hadn’t made him.
Kassey was also like Ben, very observant, and she had seen the looks Abby and Logan had been giving each other, watching when they didn’t think the other was looking. The attraction they had felt was almost palpable, and had kept her and Ben up late talking about it, long after Logan had chased after Abby. Logan was like family to her and Ben, and they watched out for one another, so when she had seen a newly divorced woman making cow eyes at her friend, she went on the defensive again.
Then she had heard Ben and Logan talking about why Abby was here. Her opinion changed fast. A woman shouldn’t put up with it, was her opinion, and she thought Abby should just get over the bastard, chalk it up to a lost cause and get on with her life. No matter whose fault it was, if you were unhappy in a marriage, you got out. No need to go chasing skirts behind your wife’s back.
They slowed their horses to a walk, and Abby turned in the saddle to look around. They were almost to the Yellowstone, the mountains jagged peaks in front of them.
“I’d forgotten how beautiful it is here.” Abby breathed, awestruck by the beauty around her.
“How long have you been away?” Kassey asked, guiding her horse to a stop.
“Too long. I haven’t seen my parents in almost three years, and even then they came out to Boston to see me.”
“Is it nice back East? I’ve never been out of Montana.”
“It’s nice in its own way, but it’s tame compared to this. And the mountains out there are foothills compared to here.”
Kassey took a deep breath and decided to confront the issue she had brought Abby out here for.
“Look, Abby, Logan told Ben why you were here. Do you want to talk about it?”
Abby was silent for a moment, staring off into the distance. Kassey rushed on, “He didn’t tell him just to gossip, he told him so that Ben would pass on to me a message to keep my mouth shut, but they should know me by now. I have something to say, I say it.” She fabricated it a little, but Abby didn’t know that.
“Kassey, since the moment I walked through the door, you’ve been judgmental of me. I don’t know what Logan told Ben, and what Ben told you, but my business is my own. Why should I tell you anything?” Abby said, turning to face her, her expression cold.
Kassey bristled a bit.
“That’s fair, I guess, but I don’t have much use for the “girly” type. I’m guessing you’re not a princess after all, and that’s my mistake. Ben told Logan that your husband was cheating on you, and that’s why you got divorced. Do you want to talk about the rest?”
“The rest of what? My husband cheated on me, we went through a long year of a contentious divorce and the phone call I got was to tell me it had been going on for two years, not just the one time that I knew of. What else is there?”
“Well, I know Logan didn’t come home last night, and he was in an awful mood this morning. I saw how you both watched each other last night at dinner. When you ran out, I told him to go after you to make sure you were okay, but he was already running out the door after you. I’ve known Logan a long time, Abby. He wants you, and he’s miserable about it.”
Despite the cold temperature, Abby felt a warmth inside of her at Kassey’s words, but it turned to ice in the next moment as she thought about the way Logan had treated her this morning; impersonal and irritated, as if he couldn’t take the time to talk to her. She looked at Kassey again, and relented. She did need someone to talk to, after all.
“Nothing really happened last night. We kissed, and then we both felt embarrassed and guilty. Then we got drunk and spent the night talking, but that was it. I want him, that’s for sure. But I also need to figure out if I’m going back to Boston, to try to work rebuild my life there, and I don’t really need to get involved with someone. I had a life in Boston.”
Kassey snorted, then nudged her horse into a walk. Abby frowned, nudging Ellie to follow behind Kassey.
“Why’d you snort? What’s so funny?”
“Why would you even consider going back?”
“I know I don’t know you, or Ben, but you seem to have a good marriage. If Ben cheated on you, and you divorced, would you leave here, just because of that?”
Kassey let out a bark of laughter.
“Honey, I’ve been in your shoes. That’s how I met Ben.”
Abby was shocked. The way Ben and Kassey had been at dinner, she would’ve thought they had been together forever. They were easy with one another, nothing like the cold politeness that was the basis of her marriage to Steve. When Abby didn’t say anything more, Kassey went on.
“I was married to my childhood sweetheart. Right out of high school, we got married. We had dated since freshm
an year, and we moved up to Missoula. About a year after we got married, I saw him going into the local hotel with Susan Hanks, the prom queen our senior year. Idjit didn’t even think to go to the next town over. I was hurt, and humiliated, but I stayed. Confronted him about it, made a lot of noise about leaving him, but he swore he would never do it again and broke it off with Susan. Six months later I saw him again, this time going into her house. I left him a note on the dining room table, and moved back down here with my parents. I didn’t want to go back to Missoula; there was nothing there for me but heartache. Everywhere I went, I would remember us together going to that diner, or that grocery store. I met Ben in a bar two weeks later, and have been with him ever since.”
She let Abby digest it, saw her mulling it over in her mind. They walked the horses in the silence, watched the snow falling, then Abby spoke.
“I just don’t know. I’m not a quitter, but I don’t know if I even love him anymore. Not just because of this, but I think it’s been leaving me for a while now. I doubt that he loved me, or if he ever did. If I didn’t still love him, wouldn’t all this mess I just went through hurt less? ”
“A man can do this to a woman, especially one like you, he doesn’t need to be loved. And of course it was gonna hurt; you had built a life together, and after all, you weren’t the one who cheated. You’ll probably love him for a long time, or at least remember the love you had for him.”
Abby grinned over this, what was sure Kassey’s first complement to her.
“Well, it’s a moot point. Logan may feel attraction for me, but I think he has a strong sense of honor, and that won’t let him approach me. He has this idea in his head that I have to go through this grieving period for a relationship that apparently was only one-sided to begin with.”
“Ben said something to Logan in the stable, before you came in, and it made sense. It’s probably what he felt when he met me.”
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