by Garon Whited
“I did. Remember, it went ker-flooie in the pyramid.”
“I recall you mentioning it, yes. Did the nexus jam it into your hand?”
“Huh. I hadn’t thought of that.” I looked at my hand. It seemed intact. I didn’t see how a ring could be hidden inside it. “I don’t think so. There’s nowhere to put a ring. Maybe the gems are buried in the bones, though. I suppose that could be possible. If they’re embedded completely, my regeneration might not force them out. Are hand bones hollow or solid?”
“I’m not sure. I’ve broken several, but I never examined them too closely. You think you might have gems embedded in your hand bones?”
“Could be. For all I know, I have gems embedded in a hand-bone with gold tracery inlaid all over it. If so, it might be a good way to keep an enchantment handy.”
“Oh, you’re going to pay for that.”
“I’m just trying to pull even with the hobbit pun.”
“I’ll let you get away with it,” she allowed. “If you want to bury enchanted gems inside your bones, how would you go about it?”
“That’s a tough question. I’d rather not stick my hand into a reality-bending nexus point and hope for the best.”
“Wait a second. Didn’t your ring have three gems?”
“Three functions, three gems. As a rule of thumb, you don’t put multiple enchantments in the same thing. It can be done, if you’re really pressed for space, but the difficulty and potential interactions—”
“Yes, I know. You’ve lectured on it at length. My point is, if you had three gems, you may have all three functions buried in your hand.”
“That could be—”
“Don’t say it,” Mary warned.
“—useful,” I finished.
“Better. The other thing I wonder is about the odds. Having one gem accidentally land inside a bone while your hand is pretending to be a liquid is one thing. All three would be kind of unlikely, don’t you think?”
“Yes, although I don’t know for sure if any of them are actually in there.”
“I see a way to test our theory.”
“Hypothesis. It’s not a theory, yet.”
“Please don’t make me throw sautéed onions at you.”
“I apologize. I abase myself in abject humility.”
“That’s better. Now, can you do the cleaning thing?”
I rubbed some gravy on the back of my right hand, let it dry for a moment, and attempted to access the cleaning spell. Dried gravy flaked away immediately.
“That’s two,” Mary noted. “What was the other one?”
“Skin tone. Part of my nighttime humanity disguise.”
“Was it a generic thing, or could you control it?”
“What do you mean?”
“Could you change your hands to different colors, or was it your whole skin?”
“It was my whole skin. I was more concerned with power requirements in my disguise than with versatility. Low-magic worlds, you know.”
“Fair enough, I suppose,” Mary sighed. “Next time, go for the complicated one.”
“Noted. Do you want me to develop a tan?”
“You can control the color, but you can’t localize it?”
“Yes. If it works.”
“Give it a try.”
I tried. It worked. I darkened slightly under the afternoon sun before shifting back to my daylit-pale complexion.
“Well, what does this tell us?” I asked.
“You probably don’t have gems embedded in your hand.”
“Probably,” I agreed, “but we don’t know the properties of the nexus point. For all we know, there are other factors involved. I’ll look into the bones tonight and see if there are any gems.”
“Good plan. Figured out where we’re going to go trawling for criminals?”
“Not yet, but I did see some nice stores. Would you like to buy an outfit to be caught dead in?”
“Let me finish lunch.”
Mary decided on a whole spa treatment, shopping day, whatever it’s called when a lady goes into high gear with a credit card. I went along for the ride. One place did a touchup on Mary’s red hair while Mary directed me to take off my shoes. I didn’t expect a pedicure, but it was surprisingly pleasant. It included a foot massage and wash, too. Very nice. My pedicurist seemed a bit nonplused at my toenails—they aren’t claw-like, but they’re still awfully thick and hard. I usually grind them down a bit when they start grinding through my socks.
It was a sort of vindication, to me, when the professional broke out the power tools.
Walking around afterward seemed almost like a violation. My feet were far too happy to be carrying me anywhere. It was unfair to them. Then again, life isn’t fair. They got over it.
After sunset, we emerged from our on-shore accommodations and went for a stroll. Since it’s unkind to tempt people overmuch, we were dressed in fairly low-key clothes. No expensive outfits, no fancy jewelry, nothing like that. If we were going to get mugged, I wanted to get mugged by people who did it regularly, not some first-timer who couldn’t resist the fatted calf parading in front of him.
I’m considerate like that.
The criminal classes came through for us. We found a suitably disreputable district, took a slow walk through the alleys, and were accosted no less than four times. I took care to avoid inflicting bleeding wounds so Mary could put the bite on people, then we concealed the bites by carving them up with their own knives. What blood was left in the bodies oozed its way out and crawled over to me. After our second antimugging, Mary let me go first. Then we started splitting them evenly.
There wasn’t a single taser or shock device among the lot of them. I was incredibly pleased. Knives, clubs, and a couple of pistols were the total weaponry. None of it was worth keeping.
After our evening meal, we returned to the Princess and settled in for the night. Tomorrow, we would set sail. There was a nice five-line nexus a little over a hundred miles off the coast. We could hit that and, if the weather cooperated, tag a four-line and another five-line on our way to the major nexus off the coast of Nassau.
It was tempting to ensure calm weather—judging by my early wizarding attempts, I have a talent for weather-working—but such a working might draw attention. I was getting close, very close, to jumping Johann. A few more days, maybe no more than a week, and everything would be in position.
I can hardly wait to murder him. But everything has to be perfect. He’s dangerous and powerful and I absolutely must kill him on the first attempt. I won’t get a second.
Tuesday, February 9th
One more nexus set up and ready to rumble. I have some preliminary spell-work done for the major nexus, as well, and I should finish it up at our next medium-nexus stop. I’m starting to feel a little optimistic about this. Not enough to take risks, but enough to think the final outcome might not be a total disaster.
Meanwhile, Johann is still sitting inside his one-way domes of doom. What’s he doing in there? Planning to take over the world? Or is he happy lording it over his own magical kingdom? When you have phenomenal cosmic power, do you really care what goes on outside your living space? Last I heard, he was planning to rule the world, but his scheme involved altering the thinking processes of various diplomats and leaders. Could he be going down that road? Or simply raising up and animating armies of skeletons? Or automatons along the lines of T’yl’s suit of armor?
I’d like to think Johann is sitting in his magical tower with a dozen human-looking constructs, lounging around and indulging in the various pleasures of the flesh. It seems a relatively minor use of his power, though. He strikes me as the sort to grab everything he can reach. Or was that the influence of the Evil Orb?
I hate not knowing, but I don’t have a way to peek into his realm without alerting him.
Thursday, February 11th
While I was dressing for the dive, Mary cocked her head at me, obviously considering something.
“Wh
at’s on your mind?” I asked.
“The plastic drum,” she said.
“What about it?”
“Why bother to have it? Couldn’t you go down with only a harness?”
“I could, but the drum is a safety feature.”
“How so?”
“I also carry underwater flares.”
“…and?” she prompted.
“Look, I sink like a brick. The drum—full of air—is a floatation device powerful enough to bring even me to the surface. Assuming I can’t find the cable, I need a way to the surface before dawn. I take the drum, hold it upside-down, and burn a couple of flares so their combustion gases fill the drum. A compressed-air bottle won’t do it; the pressure is too great. But twenty or so flares? That’ll start the process. If I can increase my buoyancy enough to swim upward, the higher I go, the more the gas will expand, and the more buoyant the drum gets. Eventually, it’ll be full of gases instead of water and I’ll be dragged to the surface.”
“And if that doesn’t work?”
“I’ll be near a nexus. I’m pretty confident I can put a spell on the drum to make it a floatation device. I could even open a gate to another universe and be instantly flushed by an unbelievably powerful surge of high-pressure seawater. It’s a last resort kind of thing, though. The sudden pressure change, combined with the unbalanced pressure on my body, might result in vampiric paste being washed gently away by the drainage. It’s one thing to be dropped in my tracks by a shot to the head or breaking my neck—I get better from those. But crushing me into a thin red smear is another matter. And that’s assuming I don’t wind up with a door into daylight.” I shivered, remembering the time I burnt my face off. “I’d rather use the barrel and wave a glow stick at you.”
“You really put a lot of thought into this, didn’t you?”
“You have no idea. Johann has been on my mind, or on a back burner of it, pretty much constantly.”
“I’ve noticed.”
“What do you mean?”
“You haven’t been yourself, and you’ve missed some obvious ideas.”
“Oh?”
“Did it occur to you to tell me about the barrel?”
“No. Besides, you would have worried.”
“By not knowing what it was for, I worried. You used to tell me everything,” she pointed out.
“Oh. I’m going to have to apologize again. I’m closing in on Johann and I’m probably getting more and more focused on the upcoming dismemberment.”
“Is that why you’ve been so hard to distract these last few days?”
“Don’t you mean ‘so distracted’?”
“No,” she replied, with a leer.
“Ah. Yes, that’s probably part of it.”
“And the kingdom? Is that the other part?”
“How do you mean?”
“You gave up a kingdom. I know we can go back whenever we feel like it, but you basically gave it to Lissette, didn’t you?”
I nodded. I didn’t really want to talk about it.
“And Tort?” Mary went on. “That’s something else again, isn’t it?”
“Yes. Can we talk about this after I murder Johann? I’d rather not do the psychoanalysis thing right now. I have an overdeveloped sense of vengeance I’m nursing, which I hope will see me through this. Then I can have a heart-to-heart and a complete breakdown. Is that fair?”
“More than fair,” she agreed, and laid a hand on my arm. “You know I’ll help however I can. If you need me to shut up and soldier, tell me so. You’re not in this alone.”
I patted her hand and forced a smile. How could I tell her she wasn’t coming with me?
“I know,” I replied.
The nexus was a regular one. I finished setting it up and used its power to finish constructing the rest of my spells for the major nexus. I also encountered a bunch of dolphins—are they a pod, pack, school, or group? I don’t know what to call them. I was on my way up and several of them followed the cable down out of curiosity.
They’re smart creatures with something resembling souls. If I ever talk to one, I’ll ask it what it knows about religion. It might be highly educational for me.
The adults swam down to look me over. A few smaller ones swam right up to me. One bumped against my helmet glass and chattered at me. I petted it and it laughed in delight before swimming circles around me.
Apparently, it doesn’t matter what species they are. Kids like me, the little weirdos.
Saturday, February 13th
Deep-sea diving and nexus work. This is getting almost routine, aside from the concern about getting lost on the ocean floor and being instantly killed at sunrise. The only thing of note was Captain Tillard’s weather report. We might be able to get this nexus and the major one, both, if we weren’t in a hurry about it. The weather forecast called for relatively calm conditions between one storm system and the next. If we took our time and let the first one pass, we could slip in through the window between them.
I like it that he doesn’t ask a lot of questions.
Sunday, February 14th
In the process of taking things slowly for a bit, the Captain has throttled back from full speed ahead or flank speed or whatever it’s called, timing our arrival with the clear—or clearer—weather.
Mary, on the other hand, has spoken to the staff—not the crew—about Valentine’s Day. Under her direction, they’ve gone to considerable effort to make everything as romantic as possible for us today. Candlelight at mealtimes, romantic music everywhere, champagne on ice, appropriate movies already queued up in the lounge, chocolate everywhere, the works. All we were missing was rose petals strewn about. No floating florist shops.
Mary forbade me from wearing anything more substantial than a robe. Today was a day to lounge around and do nothing but cuddle, kiss, and be happy.
You know, I think she’s good for my morale.
I wish I could enjoy it more, but the shadow of Johann is falling darker over my world. It’s hard to let go of it and do anything else. But I’m trying, because Mary wants to. I think she’s trying to help. How can I tell her I don’t want or need to be diverted from the task at hand? I can’t. All I can do is thank her and try to enjoy whatever she’s planned.
She does make me happy, though. If only I weren’t so focused…
Monday, February 15th
The last major nexus on my route is only about fifteen miles east of Great Abaco Island, in the Bahamas. It’s one of the shallower ones—less than ten thousand feet down—but it still hasn’t got a pyramid. The location is a flat stretch of ocean floor, about as interesting as any flat stretch of desert at night.
I set up my spells, tapped the nexus lightly, and kept adding power to the containment iterations. Now I knew what I was doing, so it went much more quickly. With the pre-made spells supercharged from the previous nexuses to give me a head start, the whole thing didn’t take three hours to finish.
Still, I wonder why there was a pyramid at one nexus. I’ve looked at four of the major magical centers of the world, now, and only one is contained by a piece of magical technology. It makes me wonder if I should go look at all the others. Maybe I’ll scry on them when I have time.
Now, though, I’m spending my time aboard the Princess getting my mind set for my upcoming fight. I’d sharpen my sword and polish my shield, but the sword I’m bringing is already too sharp to be believed and I don’t have a shield.
Mary is being a good sport. My toothpick-like wit, never overly sharp to begin with, is even less amusing than usual. I’m no fun and I know it. My heart really isn’t in anything else but my project.
All I can think about is killing Johann. I’ve been waiting for this for weeks. I’ve been anticipating this, looking forward to it, occasionally even clamping down on the urge to go screaming off to attack him. I want his head crushed between my hands. I want his eyeballs on my fingers like some cannibalistic version of olives at Thanksgiving. I want his spine in my hands so
I can whirl it around and see if it makes the same sound as those whirly-tube noisemakers. I want to see his face as his teeth explode, one by one. I—
—should probably not go on about it. It’s hard enough to keep calm when I know the moment of truth is coming.
Everything is ready. I’m as prepared as I can get. And I’ve got a couple of days before I can actually do anything.
We’re steaming north, well outside the military exclusion zone around Johann and Family’s shields. We’ll park at the edge of the nominal border. Properly timed, I feel certain we could penetrate the interdiction zone without being intercepted by anything short of a missile. It’s a lot of border to cover. That’s not part of the plan, though.
Once we’re on-station, I’ll set off the sequence of spells. One of the smaller nexus setups will start by launching a disruption effect missile at Johann’s first, central shield. The spell will travel to a point directly over Johann’s nexus, then detonate in a downward wave of energy to wreck the mystic lines of force forming his spells. I doubt the shield will go down, but it’s possible. Regardless, Johann will feel the hit. It won’t be some local magi knocking at the door. He’ll know it’s me kicking it in. He’ll have to defend himself, and that means sucking up power from his nexus.
I did consider trying to block the power lines leading to his nexus, and to the nexuses of all the kids and grandkids. Unfortunately, tinkering with such things requires an immense amount of power and would create obvious effects. Just experimenting with it could tip him off about someone interfering, and I’m actually hoping he thinks I’m still in Karvalen. I’m reasonably sure I could cut the power lines, given time to experiment, but there’s no way to hide monkey business on that scale. Even without touching a line leading to Johann’s nexus, the power would fluctuate as the rest of the planet rebalanced itself. I absolutely cannot risk attracting his attention until I’m ready.
Anyway, after a couple of demigod-scale attacks on his protective dome—hopefully, without breaking it—he’ll have to take action. First off, he should reinforce his defensive dome, if it’s still up. If it is, I’ll see it get stronger. If it’s down, I’ll be able to scry on his nexus point directly. Either way, he’ll be on top of the thing. I’ll know where he is; I’ll have a physical location.