by Emery, Lynn
“Okay, Lanessa, you want the truth?” Jade shouted at her, her frayed nerves giving way. “I didn’t even suspect, didn’t have one clue that you were addicted. I was wrapped up in seeing what you wanted me and the rest of the world to see.”
“I’m not addicted to anything. I drink because I want to. When I decide to stop, I will.”
A crystal clear realization flashed into Jade’s mind. “Then why didn’t you quit for Alex? I think you finally realize he’s the one man who loves you for who you are, not what you look like or what you own. He didn’t want to lose you.”
“You have no right to say these things to me. No right.” Lanessa’s voice broke.
“Lanessa, let’s face this together.” Jade took a step toward her.
“You don’t get it. There is nothing to face.”
“Then going in for an assessment won’t hurt, will it? Let’s make an appointment now.” Jade went to get the phone book.
“No! I’ve put up with your self-righteous attitude long enough. Who the hell do you think you are anyway? I don’t have a problem with alcohol. My prescriptions are for migraine head-aches.” Lanessa snatched the phone book from Jade’s hands. “Now leave.”
“Stop hiding from the truth.” Jade could see that she had failed to reach her sister. The elegant cocksure Lanessa, her facade of control in place again, was back.
Lanessa lit a cigarette and took a long pull from it. “It’s past your bedtime. Go home,” she said in a taut voice.
“Okay. But I’ll be back. There is nothing you can say or do to make me stop loving you. And if that means making you mad, so be it.” Jade kissed Lanessa on the cheek despite her rigid stance. She looked back one last time before walking out the front door.
Lanessa’s mouth trembled as tears came down within minutes of hearing Jade’s car start. “Don’t be so sure you can forgive anything, Jade-girl. Don’t be so sure.”
Chapter 14
“Thanks.” Jade took the cup of coffee from Damon and smiled up at him. She concentrated on the dark liquid.
Jade suppressed a sigh. Dinner had been strained with conversation coming in spurts punctuated by awkward silences. Thoughts of how to bring up the subject of Rachelle without sounding like a jealous woman kept her distracted most of the evening. She decided not to bring it up in the restaurant, but now that they were alone in her apartment her tongue was frozen.
“So how is work?” Damon still held his mug without drinking.
“Hectic.” Jade felt a little relieved to have an excuse to discuss something else. “But we can finally start working on the budget now that Dumaine is off our backs.” She eased back against the cushions. “Bill handled it well, I thought.”
“Dumaine hasn’t asked for more documentation?”
“Not yet. Guess he’s preparing for the session, too. Thank goodness. We don’t need him snooping around.” Jade thought of the mountain of forms coming in from all the offices with requests for new budgets. “We’ve got our hands full.”
“What about the hearings? I understand there are going to be hard questions asked. I’m planning to testify about the funds the center gets.” Damon chose his words with care. “Bill’s name keeps coming up.”
“Bill hasn’t taken one step over the line.” Jade waved a hand in a dismissive gesture. “Just sour grapes because he’s smart and accomplished.”
“So there is nothing to the rumors?” Damon studied her expression.
“What have you heard? Wait, don’t tell me. That Bill is somehow setting himself up to benefit, and funds are being funneled to his pals.” Jade recited the rumors in a singsong voice.
“Something like that.”
“Baloney. Bill and I have spent hours together. He’s never suggested we do anything but follow the rules.” Jade brushed back her hair. “No, Bill’s doing the right things.”
The simple gesture of smoothing back her hair while referring to Bill Lang set Damon’s teeth on edge. Damon had an image of Rachelle tossing her long hair unconsciously while she lied without batting an eye.
“Yes, but maybe he’s not telling you everything.” Damon clutched his mug tightly. “I don’t think all these rumors are about nothing, Jade. Are you sure there isn’t at least some truth to them?”
Jade shrugged. “Bill is a charmer who enjoys skirting convention. But so far it’s only been to help the poor people who depend on us for services. We’ve come up with some innovative approaches.”
“Yeah, he’s a real charmer.” Damon sat still next to her. “Must have made all that overtime easier to take.”
Jade came back from her musings with a jolt. “Say what?”
“I mean, there are questions being raised about some of the decisions coming out of that office. And you keep defending him,” Damon said in a taut voice.
“I’m defending him because he hasn’t done anything improper from what I can see. And just what are you implying?” Jade kept her voice even.
“Working long hours with the man, sometimes at night, isn’t a good idea, Jade. In fact, it’s a real bad idea. Those rumors you’re so ready to dismiss aren’t going away easily. I just think—”
“You just think what, Damon?” Jade’s voice was stretched taut. This was the man who’d laughed with and touched his ex-wife with such intimacy. And he had the nerve to question her behavior!
“I don’t like all the late nights you’ve been hanging around with him,” Damon blurted out.
Jade moved an inch away from him on the sofa. “I haven’t been hanging around with him, I’ve been working. Or don’t you believe me?” Her brown eyes glittered with fury even though her voice remained even.
“I do, it’s just... Look, the man isn’t known for honesty. I just don’t want you to get caught up in nasty talk. Bill Lang is well known for chasing women.” Damon gazed at her. “And your decisions coming out of the department have been mentioned in some rumors, too.”
“So I’m a slut?” Jade gave him a look that could melt steel.
Damon put his mug down with a bang. “Honey, of course not! I’d never say such a thing about you—”
“Oh, so you don’t think I’m a slut, just stupid,” Jade said in a flat voice. “And possibly dishonest.” She wanted to toss the hot contents of her cup into his lap.
“You know I don’t think you’re stupid or dishonest.” Damon floundered for a way to untangle himself from his own words. “But maybe you put too much trust in the man. You said yourself he’s charming.”
“So I’m gullible enough to be taken in by his charm, which is only one step away from being stupid as far as I can see.” Jade turned away from him.
“Jade, listen, let’s back up. I approached you the wrong way.” Damon rubbed his forehead in frustration. He was digging the hole deeper by the minute.
“Now that’s the first thing you’ve gotten right so far,” Jade retorted.
“Not only do I care for you but I have the utmost respect for you as a professional,” Damon pressed in order to make her see he was sincere.
“I see.” Jade was unmoved.
“It’s just that sometimes appearances give a bad impression.”
“I know exactly what you mean,” Jade snapped. “Who you spend time with can cause people to speculate about your actions.”
“It’s not always fair, but you’re right. So you understand where I’m coming from?” Damon’s handsome face brightened, but only for a second when he saw the storm gathering in her brown eyes.
“Oh, yes, I understand perfectly.” Jade faced him with a sharp turn that made him jump. “For example, I could have concluded that you were still having the occasional fling with your ex-wife when I saw you having lunch with her.”
“Now wait—”
“Oh, you were in a public place all right. She must have been especially amusing the way you were laughing it up. Some might say your hands were all over her like a cop doing a body search. But of course the fact that you didn’t think I’d see
you had nothing to do with your behavior, did it? I mean, it wouldn’t be fair to assume because you’ll be seeing her again that something is going on.” Jade spoke in a rapid-fire delivery.
Damon’s jaw muscles worked for several moments before he spoke. “Rachelle’s marketing firm is doing work to help expand our customer base. That was business.”
“So is my work with Bill Lang,” Jade replied. She returned his gaze.
“After the times we’ve spent together, how could you think I’d lie to you?” Damon said in a quiet voice.
“How could you believe gossip? You must have assumed some of it was true, or you wouldn’t have asked me about it,” Jade replied.
“Look, I’m sorry. I was out of line to bring up those rumors.”
“Yes, you were.” Jade still wore an unyielding expression.
“I never meant to suggest you’ve done anything questionable.” Damon took a deep breath. “Let’s just end this discussion right now. I don’t want an ugly argument.”
“Neither do I,” Jade said with conviction.
She’d had too many dramatic scenes with Nick. Once they were divorced, she vowed not to get involved in any relationship that included shouting matches and accusations. The arguments never solved anything anyway. Damon seemed to read her thoughts.
“I’ve had my fill of finger-pointing in relationships,” he said in a tired voice.
Jade could think only of how he cut off discussion once the subject of his being with Rachelle was brought up. It was fine to dissect her relationship with Bill, but it seemed he was anxious to avoid a closer look at his feelings for his ex-wife. She felt a taste of bitter loss at the notion that the beautiful promise of love was an illusion. Wrapped in sadness, she turned away from him. Once the seeds of suspicion were planted, things went sour. Eventually she would find out the truth. There was no smoke without fire. Arguing was useless. How she had wanted this time to be different.
“I have an early day tomorrow. A lot to do.” Jade’s voice was dead, dry of expression. A long moment of silence stretched between them.
“Yeah, I’ve had a long day, too.” Damon gazed at her with a look of expectation. When she did not return his gaze or speak, he cleared his throat. “Guess I’ll let you get some rest.” He rose from the sofa.
Jade nodded. She could not trust her voice. A voice in her head screamed don’t let him walk out! But the image of all the times she gave up her pride to hold on to Nick cut through as a strong force holding her back. No, she’d had her fill of compromising her pride for a few moments of affection. The short-term payoff never equaled the long-term misery.
Damon did not move. He seemed poised, waiting for something. “Good night, Jade.”
Jade stood and walked to the door. She steeled herself not to react as he passed her. Yet the smell of his skin, a mixture of soap and aftershave cologne, delivered a solid blow to her resolve. His physical effect on her had not diminished. How could she live without feeling his solid body molded to hers? The image of them entwined in a love knot, hips moving in concert, caused a sharp hunger to slice through her. She sensed this was an ending. If he walks out this door, girl, you’ll lose so much. Jade gripped the doorknob. A combination of lust and romantic illusion would not be enough. I will not be a fool twice.
“Good night, Damon.” Jade managed to glance into his eyes for a moment before looking away. And he was gone. The soft sound of her front door lock clicking into place seemed to echo through her head.
* * *
Damon sat in his car in the parking lot outside her condo. He was in a mild state of shock. The words it’s over played in his head like a broken record. How had this happened? Sure, he’d avoided an ugly shouting match. But this ending had been more painful in a way. As crazy as it seemed, he now began to think Jade’s quiet reaction meant she did not care enough to waste energy being outraged. Man, you’re outta your mind. Go home. He drove away, all the while wrestling with the urge to stay. Maybe it was better this way. No, maybe he should go back. Maybe... The blast of a horn brought him up sharply. Damon slammed on the brake in time to avoid ramming into a car. He’d gone through a stop sign. Damn, get it together! Damon steadied his nerves and drove on. To hell with this. Jade had defended Bill Lang. And she had always said, even bragged that she was ambitious. She seemed determined to stick by Lang. Every conversation they’d ever had about her work and Lang took on a new meaning. Damon slapped the steering wheel with the flat of his hand. He’d been blind once again. Now all he had to do was forget about her. Just the thought made his body react. Longing took hold in his groin. Her sweetness flooded back to him. Jade had been more than a luscious body. She was thoughtful, caring, the kind of woman he wanted to talk to at the end of his day. Or at least he’d thought she was that woman. Now it’s over.
* * *
“You can forget that little tryst in Hawaii.” Kathy cackled. She waved her glass of wine in the air. “The Senate committee isn’t cooperating these days, Billy boy?”
Kathy leaned against the open door to his office at home. She was dressed in a pale pink satin lounge pant set, the tunic shirt open at the throat. Bill shuffled through papers on his desk.
“What the hell are you obsessing on now?” Bill threw an irritated glance at her before resuming his search for something among a stack of files.
“I wasn’t dumb enough to think you wanted to attend another conference on the less fortunate. You don’t give a damn about anybody else but yourself.” Kathy came into the room and wandered around, gazing at the books in the wall-to-wall bookshelf. “Amazing how you’ve risen to power in a state agency that has nothing but social welfare type program,” she said as though thinking aloud.
“I worked hard to help start the most innovative services in this state. I’ve done volunteer work since college to help nonprofit agencies aid disadvantaged groups.” Bill held up a file then pushed the others aside and sat down. “Based on my brains and hard work, I’ve advanced.”
Kathy put down her empty wineglass and clapped her hands. “Bravo. Your delivery is perfect, Bill. As usual.” She slid down into a chair of rich dark brown fabric.
“And your harping is getting on my nerves as usual,” Bill retorted in a gruff voice. “Please leave. I’ve got work to do.”
Kathy ignored his remark. She wiggled into a more comfortable position in the stuffed chair. “That article in the paper wouldn’t be the reason your wonderful trip is canceled, is it?”
“What do you mean?” Bill tapped a finger on the manila folder in front of him. His jaw clenched.
“A few not so flattering facts about you have been uncovered.” Kathy lifted a shapely shoulder. “Some of it could make people think you’ve been up to no good.” Her lips twitched in an obvious expression of suppressed delight.
“Is that how you see it?” Bill said.
“Uh-huh, and apparently I’m not the only one. Senator Murray seems to be a bit peeved about some hospital certificate thingy.” Kathy picked up her wineglass from the table next to the chair. She frowned at the small drop of liquid left. “
“You seem to know quite a lot about the details of in the article.” Bill stared down at the scatter of sheets before him.
“All I know is what I read in the papers,” Kathy said with a grin. She stood on unsteady legs. “I’d love to continue this fascinating conversation, but I’ll need to get a drink first.”
Bill crossed the room in three long strides and grabbed her arm. “What have you been doing? Huh?” He shook her like a rag doll. “It hadn’t occurred to me until now that you could have been his source.”
Kathy tried to break free of his hold. “Let go of me! I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Like hell you don’t! In the third paragraph, he talks about my ties to Franklin and mentions a deal that I never discussed at the office. We met here two years ago, Kathy. Right in this office. How long have you been spying on me?” Bill squeezed her arms.
; “Leave me alone.” Kathy pushed him away. She tugged at her clothes and brushed her hair back into place.
“I want an answer.” Bill glowered at her.
“Oh, now you want to talk to me,” Kathy said with a snort. “Now I’ve got your undivided attention. Lucky me.”
His face twisted with rage, Bill raised a fist to strike her. “I’m going to—”
“My father will see to it that you can’t get a job selling shoes in this state. My brothers would beat you to a pulp.” Kathy watched him with cold, fearless eyes.
The full import of her words brought him up short. “You’re not worth dirtying my hands.” He stepped back from her. “And your little scheme to ruin me won’t work.”
“Don’t be so sure,” she snapped. “Unless of course you’re agreeable to renegotiating how this marriage works, you’re going to be the subject of even more articles.”
Bill gaped at her. “You did all this because I haven’t paid enough attention to you? I always knew you were nuts. With the stuff they’re raking up, I could go to jail for malfeasance in office.”
“On a good day, you ignore me. Most of the time you treat me like nothing, less than nothing. You stopped pretending to care about me right after the honeymoon. You married me for my family’s money and influence.” Kathy’s angry voice sliced through the air like a knife. “The worst part is I didn’t care. I wanted you so much, I didn’t care.”
“Now you hate me and want revenge.”
Kathy wiped tears away from her face. “Yes, I want revenge, but I don’t hate you. But just once I want to be in control. You’re mine, bought and paid for.”
“Why you cold-blooded...” Bill murmured. A lustful gleam came to his eyes. “I’ve never seen you like this.”
“First, you’re going to get rid of Jade Pellerin. You know the drill. Your assistant acted without your knowledge. Agency bigwigs have used that line to wiggle out of trouble for years.” Kathy gave a short, hard laugh. “She’ll probably end up as a file clerk.”