by Erica Penrod
“I know, but don’t worry. Brynna was right there and heard everything. She even threatened to move in with him for a while if he doesn’t follow the doctor’s orders.”
“That should do it then, at least for a while. After the baby, she might have her hands full trying to mother two at once.”
They looked at each other. “Naahhh,” they said at the same time, then laughed.
“Brynna’s never had a problem bossing more than one person around at a time,” Jaxon said.
“That’s why she’s a schoolteacher.” Janie sat in a chair. The way their conversation flowed lifted something from her back. “I thought maybe teaching kids would curb her appetite for control, but I don’t think it’s worked so far.”
Jaxon took the seat across from her on the other side of the bed. He didn’t say anything for a moment, and she waited.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t here,” he said. The laughter in his voice was gone, and compunction spoke. “I don’t know what I would’ve done if he would’ve—” He stopped and gulped back a sob.
Janie jumped to her feet, hustled to him, and knelt beside him. “He’s okay. Don’t beat yourself up. No one can predict these things.”
“I know, but I was so stupid.” He put his head in his hands.
Janie stood up. “Why don’t we go get something to eat? Have you eaten anything?”
He shook his head. “No. I just got in.”
“Kyle looks like he’ll be sleeping for a while longer.”
Jaxon got up and picked up his hat. Janie grabbed her purse and met him as he hobbled to the door.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
He held the door open. “I’m fine. Just got bucked off. Nothing that won’t heal.”
As she passed through, the energy between them pulled at her as her hand accidentally brushed his. The connection that bound them together as young kids still held on—by how many threads, she didn’t know, but it was still there. She touched her stomach, hoping that whatever was left between them would be enough to raise a child.
Following the signs, they walked down the hall side by side.
“So, where were you?” she asked.
Jaxon pulled the cafeteria doors open. “Why don’t we wait until after we’ve eaten to talk about that. I don’t want to ruin my appetite; I’m starving.”
* * *
Race tapped softly on the door, and Kyle answered with a raspy voice. He stepped in, and Kyle’s face lit up. His smile reached his eyes, and Race saw the man that his mother had once cared for. “It’s good to see you,” Kyle said, and Race’s heart steadied for the first time since he got the call from Janie.
“You too,” he said, and he meant it. Janie relayed the message that Kyle would be okay before Race landed in Utah, but he was still worried. Even though he knew very little about the man in the hospital, he appreciated him as his biological father. It scared him to think he might never get the chance to know him.
“I’m glad you came,” Kyle said.
“Of course I came,” Race said, moving closer to the bed.
Kyle scratched at his IV. “I’m not sure I would have in your shoes. I haven’t exactly given you a good reason to want to know me.”
Race smiled at his father. “Well, let’s change that.”
* * *
Jaxon put his hand on the small of her back as she walked in. She should’ve stepped away, but she didn’t want to. It didn’t mean anything, she told herself. Muscle memory. They’d spent so much of their lives together, their bodies reacted without thought.
“I’ve never known anything to ruin your appetite,” she said.
“Believe it or not,” Jaxon said, grinning as he took a tray. “I think I’ve taken too many knocks to the head, and my emotions are calling the shots.”
Janie followed close behind him as he piled his plate with cheesy eggs, hash browns, and bacon. “I don’t think that’s anything new,” she said, grabbing a yogurt. “You know that act before you think thing you do?”
“That’s not what I mean,” he said. Jaxon threw a piece of bacon into his mouth.
“You mean your body may finally be reacting to your erratic behavior.”
“Ha, ha,” he said, as he paid for their meal. “That’s funny … but yes. That’s kind of what I mean.”
They found seats next to each other. “So what you’re saying is that you may actually be becoming a mature adult with a conscience?”
“Easy there, pony girl.” He touched the ends of her hair. “I wouldn’t go that far.”
Janie felt her insides tighten at the sound of her nickname. His touch made her skin ripple, because she missed feeling him so desperately. At moments like this, she wanted to forget about the reality show, forget it saved the ranch but destroyed their marriage. She could do it, at least for a while; take him back, pretend everything was like it used to be … until she remembered it wasn’t, and she wanted all of him. Which was something he didn’t seem capable of giving. They ate in silence.
“Are you finished?” she asked a few minutes later. “We’d better get back. I don’t want your dad to wake up and not have anyone there. You know he can’t stand being here.” She piled her trash and his onto one tray. She wiped the crumbs from the table with a napkin. Jaxon took his last bite as she pulled his tray away.
“It’s good to see some things haven’t changed,” he said, tossing his napkin onto the pile. “We better hurry if we want to get there before Brynna does.”
Janie tossed their garbage into the can and stacked the tray. She pulled some antibacterial lotion from her bag and offered some to Jaxon. He stuck out his hand, and she squirted the lemon fragrance onto his palm. She wished she didn’t know his hands like the back of her own.
“Ouch,” he said, waving his hands in the air. “That stings.”
“It never ceases to amaze me that you can hop onto the back of a bucking horse, break a bone or two, and then whine over hand sanitizer.”
“I don’t whine,” he said, rubbing his palms together.
“Yes, you do,” another voice said, and they turned to see Quade coming down the hall. “I thought I might find you here.” He pointed to the cafeteria sign and gave each of them a hug. Jaxon winced in pain. “Sorry, bud,” Quade said.
“How’d you know we were here?” Janie asked.
“Brynna called last night to tell me about Kyle. I texted Jaxon this morning, and he said he was on his way to the hospital. When you weren’t in the room, I figured I’d try the obvious choice.”
“My dad wasn’t awake, was he?” Jaxon asked, as they started back to the room.
“No. He was out.”
“Good. I want to be there when he wakes up,” Jaxon said.
He walked close to Janie, and his hand brushed hers. Part of her dared him to take it just so she could yank it away. Anger at him was easier to handle than aching for him, and she knew that if she didn’t do something to stop all this touching, by tonight she’d be back to miserable from wanting him again.
His fingers flitted across hers and he looked at her while Quade rambled about his latest girlfriend. Quickly she put her hand in her pocket, and she saw the confused look on his face melt into sadness.
“Anyway,” Quade said, “I don’t think she’s the one for me. What do you think Janie?”
“What?” she said, reaching up and smoothing her ponytail. “About what?”
“Jeez, are you even listening to me?”
She shook her head. “Sorry.”
“I said, I don’t think Haley is the one for me, which is partly your fault.”
“My fault?” she asked.
“Yeah. She doesn’t understand why you and I hang out so much.”
“What?” Janie said.
“Wait, you guys hang out a lot?” Jaxon asked. Janie saw the muscle in his jaw tense up.
“I told her it’s because my best friend, who’s an idiot—” Quade said, and looked to Jaxon. “Offense intended.” Then h
e looked at Janie. “—left you brokenhearted and pregnant.”
“Careful, buddy,” Jaxon said. “Those are fighting words.”
“Not for us,” Quade said. “I call it like I see it. Anyway …” he looked over at Janie, “Haley was almost cool with me being a tall, handsome shoulder to cry on, until she saw you, and that ended that.”
“What do you mean, until she saw me?”
They stopped in front of Kyle’s room.
Jaxon chuckled and shook his head like he and Quade got a joke she hadn’t heard. “Because you’re beautiful and all,” Quade said.
Jaxon put his hand on Quade’s arm. “Again, those are fighting words.”
“She is beautiful, but she’s also like my little sister, so give me a break.”
“All right,” Jaxon said. “As long as you don’t want to kiss your little sister.”
Janie’s temper flared, and she was glad Jaxon gave her a reason to step away. “For the record, I will kiss whoever I want, and if I choose to kiss Quade, there’s nothing you can do about it.”
“Do you want to kiss Quade?” Jaxon asked. He acted like he’d been slapped in the face.
“No, but that’s not the point.” She shoved the door open. “I can kiss whoever I want.”
She stormed into the room and right into Race, whose startled face said he’d heard her kissing declaration.
Well, shoot.
Blushing wasn’t her favorite thing to do, but Janie turned hot pink when she saw Race’s face light up like she was the celebrity.
* * *
Race saw the door open a second before Janie crashed into him. He put his arm around her quickly to steady her. He tried to pretend he hadn’t heard her. This wasn’t how he imagined running into her again, his hands trembling like a schoolboy.
“Sorry,” she said. Her cheeks matched the nurse’s scrubs, but it didn’t seem to be a happy shade of pink. Jaxon and Quade were right behind her. While he had a hard time deciphering Janie’s expression, there was no mistaking Jaxon’s thoughts when he saw Race’s arm around Janie. Race took a step back, the tension between the brothers forcing him into the corner.
Janie scowled at Jaxon while she pulled the chair up to the bed, where the nurse checked Kyle’s vitals from the other side. “How are you feeling?” she asked.
“I’m fine,” Kyle said, pulling his sleeve down when the nurse removed the pressure cuff. “Hoping to get out of here soon.” He glanced up at the nurse. “No offense. Hospitals aren’t my thing.”
“None taken. I think there’s a good chance you’ll be able to go home today, once the doctor makes his rounds. He’ll give you some instructions and let you know how soon he’ll want to see you in his office.” She entered a few things on her tablet. “If you need anything else, you know how to reach me,” she said, pointing to the button on the side of the bed.
Kyle smiled beneath his moustache. “Thank you.”
Race leaned against the back of the wall and wondered whether he’d made the right decision coming here. The last thing he wanted was to upset Kyle in any way, and with Jaxon here, upsetting him was a huge probability.
Quade came over and shook his hand. “Good to see you again.”
“Thanks,” Race said. “You too.”
He could see Jaxon watching them from the corner of his eye and felt the weight of what happened between them. He touched his jaw, where only a bit of discoloration lingered, but the memory was still raw.
Even though Race was struggling to know his place, he could tell by the way Jaxon couldn’t hold still that he wasn’t alone. There was a complicated history between Jaxon and Kyle. Maybe Race understood where some of Jaxon’s attitude came from.
“When did you get here?” Kyle asked Jaxon.
“This morning, but I didn’t want to wake you,” Jaxon said. He glanced at Race and then back to Kyle.
Their father nodded his head once and then turned to Janie. “Did Layne get the chores done?”
“Yes,” she said. “No need to worry. Everything’s been taken care of.”
“I’ve got a few days before I head to Wyoming,” Jaxon said. “I can take care of chores and look after you.”
“Race is going to be staying with me, so you don’t need to worry about it. I know how busy you are.”
Great. He knew enough to know getting between them wasn’t a good idea.
“Jaxon can stay. I’ll get a hotel room. Besides, I’ll need to get back to Atlanta by the end of the week.”
“You’re not getting a hotel room,” Janie said. “You can stay with me.”
“No,” Jaxon said to Janie. “We can both stay at the ranch.”
Janie rolled her eyes. “Yeah. That sounds like a great idea.” She stood up and faced Jaxon. “Your dad needs rest, and I don’t see how that’s going to happen with both of you staying there.”
The way they stared at each other, Race imagined the years between them that no one could know but them.
“It’s fine,” Kyle said. “Jaxon will mind his manners, won’t you, son?”
Jaxon said yes like a child on time-out in the corner.
Quade leaned against the wall, his arms folded. He bumped Race with his shoulder. “Looks like you’re in for a good time at your slumber party.”
“Yeah,” Race said. “I guess so.”
Maybe his mom was right. This was a lot to process, considering he’d just met these people a little over a week ago. He might have changed his mind had he and Kyle not had the conversation they did before everyone came in.
As Race looked at Jaxon, he knew his relationship with Kyle would be complicated by his brother’s lack of acceptance.
“Race?” Janie said. Her voice caught his attention.
He looked at her and noticed everyone watching him. “Yes?”
“Do you need a ride or did you get a rental car.”
Race cleared his throat. “I didn’t get a chance to get a car yet.”
“How’d you get here?” Jaxon asked.
“Brynna called before I left and said Layne would pick me up.”
Jaxon cocked an eyebrow. “Of course she did.”
Ignoring Jaxon’s attitude, Race continued. “He dropped me off and said he’d be back later after he took care of things at the ranch.”
The door opened, and Brynna came in. She saw Kyle, and her eyes brightened into a springtime green. “Quite a crowd you got here.” She made her way to the bed. Jaxon stepped aside as she bent over and wrapped her arms around Kyle. She kissed his cheek, and Kyle squirmed beneath the affection. “You scared me, Dad. Don’t do it again.”
Rain showers clouded her eyes, and Kyle looked like he was about to be caught in a storm. “Jeez,” Kyle said. “Those pregnancy hormones must be working in overdrive.”
Brynna dabbed her eyes. “Quiet, old man,” she said, and grinned. Digging into her purse, she took out her phone. “Now, I’ve been doing some research on eating heart healthy, and I’ve made a list of groceries.” She scrolled through her phone. “Also, we’ll need to get you something to exercise in as soon as the doctor says you’re ready.”
“Now hold on,” Kyle said. “If I can’t do it in my boots, then I’m not—”
“Oh yes, you will,” Brynna interrupted him. “And I’m going to come stay with you for a little while to make sure you’re following doctor’s orders.”
“No, you’re not.”
Brynna’s face matched her hair, and her eyes narrowed. “I am too!”
Jaxon touched his sister’s shoulder. “We’ll work it out. I’ll stay with him the first few days, and we’ll go from there.”
Race noticed Brynna’s perplexed expression, but didn’t contemplate it for long because Janie said, “Yeah, and Race too.”
Brynna looked over at Janie and grinned like the Cheshire Cat. “Now this ought to be interesting.”
Chapter 12
Jaxon lay on his twin-size bed, his head pillowed by his arms. He was staring at a picture o
f his childhood idol, World Champion saddle bronc rider Billy Etbauer, that hung on the opposite wall. His mind sifted through all those nights when he’d closed his eyes and imagined his own face on the poster.
Nothing had changed in his room except the years of dust. It was as if he’d left yesterday with only enough gas money to get him to the next rodeo. Pictures hung by his grandmother in their wooden frames speckled the walls. Yellowed mats with watermarks surrounded black-and-white photographs of his father and grandfather in their glory days. Jaxon saw himself in their expressions, read their thoughts as they gripped the rope rein, and heard the timing as the horse’s rhythm became their own. Since his very first ride, old cowboys had told him he rode like a Davis, which made him walk a little taller. He knew he had big boots to fill.
Swinging his legs over the bed, he sat up and stretched, his ribs protesting beneath his shirt, but at least he could walk without a limp. He leaned over and pulled on his boots. It was only one o’clock in the afternoon, and it had already been a long day. Up at six to get the livestock fed, he then spent the next couple hours on the swather, cutting the alfalfa in the lower fields, leaving Race to keep his dad company.
After lunch he had decided to take five minutes for himself and decompress. Brynna left a menu, and after sharing a green salad over the kitchen table with Race and his dad, he could still eat a couple of cheeseburgers. He wasn’t excited about upsetting his dad any more than he already was about living on rabbit food, so Jaxon didn’t mention his craving for red meat. Race ate without complaint and actually seemed satisfied by the meal. That figures.
Jaxon wanted a basis for his argument against his older sibling, and Race wasn’t helping in any way. He wanted a legitimate excuse not to like him. Everyone else adored him, and it made Jaxon want to climb on the rankest bucking horse he could find.
He went down the hall and saw Kyle asleep on his bed. Jaxon crept in and pulled a light blanket over his father. The house was cooled by the central air Jaxon had installed last year and by the two large maple trees in the backyard.