by Kyra Lennon
Richard gave another nod. “Whenever you’re ready.”
We both stood and I hoisted Jessica onto my hip. Richard hugged me. “Thank you for coming in. I know I’m asking a lot but I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t think it was a good idea.”
“I know. I just need to let the idea settle and see how I feel.”
“Come on.” Richard slung an arm around my shoulder. “There’s time for you to go say hello to everyone before I start busting their asses again.”
Part of me wasn’t sure that was a good idea, just in case people asked what I was doing there; this was certainly not the time or place to discuss the job offer. I quickly shrugged the concern away, though. I’d dropped into the training ground on more than one occasion; no one would find it strange.
When we reached the pitch I felt another rush of familiarity and happiness. Man, I really loved the place. Richard headed off to chat with Ethan and I made my way towards Radleigh and Bryce who, amongst others, were sitting on the field, taking a break.
Radleigh’s eyes brightened as we approached, and he stood up, smiling. My stomach flipped over, and as we reached him he kissed me softly and I handed Jessica to him. “We thought we’d surprise you,” I said.
We sat down on the grass and Radleigh hugged Jessica to him and put his other arm around me. “Funny you should mention surprises…”
Bryce laughed and I turned to him. He was leaning back on his hands and smirking. I rolled my eyes. “What’s going on?”
“Can you set another place for dinner?”
“That’s not a surprise, Bryce.” I laughed. “That’s just a regular week day.”
I wasn’t mad that he’d invited himself over; as I’d said, Bryce at our house was a regular occurrence. Since he’d split from his wife, the dark-haired muscle man had been a semi-permanent fixture. In fact, McCoy Manor – I still hadn’t stopped calling it that in my head – was often the meeting place for our friends, and that night we were expecting Jesse and Kayla. The plan was for Kayla and me to talk about bridesmaid stuff since she’d missed the previous day’s lunch and shopping trip, and Radleigh and Jesse would hang out in the games room. Having one extra person made no odds to me. I loved cooking, and having a full house was way better than having an empty one.
“I broke up with Bethan,” Bryce said, sitting up and rubbing his hands together to get rid of the dirt. “Or more to the point, she broke up with me.”
My eyebrows pulled together. “Why are you smiling about this? I thought you were really into her? What happened?”
Bethan was a hot, petite blonde Bryce had met a few months back, and honestly, she was a vast improvement on his ex. Where Sarah was cold and standoffish, Bethan was warm and bubbly. I’d liked her right off, and Bryce had appeared to be pretty taken with her. As far as I knew everything was good between them. New, but good.
Bryce shrugged. “I liked her, but she decided she liked her ex more than me. It’s not a big deal. It’s not like things had gotten serious.”
I looked into his brown eyes, checking he really meant what he said. Not a hint of hidden sadness so I shrugged too. “Fair enough. And of course we can make room for you tonight.”
“Thanks, Leah.”
“Anytime.” I drew in a sigh. “I suppose I’d best go home and let you guys get back to work.”
I smiled as Jessica babbled away in baby talk and Radleigh nodded, engrossed, and when he caught my grin he smiled too. “See. I do listen.”
I gently took one of Jessica’s hands in mine and leaned in closer. “Hey, Jessica. How about you tell Daddy to pick up his socks.”
She frowned at me and threw some more baby talk my way. I glanced up at Radleigh. “Clearly she’s leaving that job to me.”
Radleigh chuckled and slid his hand around to my stomach. “I think we should talk about having another one soon.”
“Ha! One thing at a time, super sperm. When the wedding’s over we’ll talk about that.”
Truthfully, I did want another baby. In fact, we both wanted a house full of kids, but with Richard’s job offer on my mind, it was hard to consider planning for another baby. If I said yes to the job, getting pregnant again immediately wouldn’t exactly go down well.
“Can I order a boy this time?”
I laughed out loud and Radleigh grinned. He wouldn’t have changed Jessica for the world but I knew there was a whole lot of truth behind what he said. He wanted a son and I was certain we’d have to keep trying until we got one. It was a legacy thing. Radleigh’s father and grandfather had both been world class soccer players, and he wanted to keep the tradition going. God only knew what would happen if we had a boy who wanted to be a ballet dancer…
“You can try,” I said. “But no promises.”
Chapter Four – You’ve Got To Be Prepared For The Consequences
“Oh my God, Leah.” Deanna stared at my wedding dress, tears filling her eyes. “It’s beautiful.”
I’d laid it out on her bed for her to see and we were both mesmerised by its beauty. I still couldn’t believe it was mine, and that in four months I’d be wearing it to marry Radleigh. Butterflies flapped around my stomach as I closed my eyes, picturing myself in the stunning gown, walking down the aisle towards him. Sometimes it still floored me to think this was really happening.
The dress had brought Bree, Freya and I to tears when we found it in one of the many shops we’d been to. I’d always heard that you just know when you’ve found the right wedding dress, and that had certainly been the case for me. I saw it amongst all the others and it made me shiver a little as I touched it for the first time. But it wasn’t until I tried it on that I truly knew. It was dainty and classic, the kind that could be handed down through generations; pretty without being over the top. The white dress was embroidered with the most stunning floral detail that ran from the V-shaped neck down to my hips, and then down the front and half way down the back of the train. It wasn’t a huge meringue-type train but a soft floaty train. The dress hugged my figure for the most part, but was looser at the bottom, giving me room to move my legs. The shoulder straps were made from delicate white lace and the back was open, with tiny white buttons to fasten it up the bottom of my spine.
I nodded and smiled. “I can’t wait to wear it.”
Deanna turned to me, shaking her head in amazement. “It’s so perfect for you.”
“I know. I couldn’t wait to get over here to show you.”
She smiled, pulling me into a hug, and a happy sigh left my lips. “You’ve been a part of the family since the moment Radleigh brought you home, but I’m so proud that I’ll soon be able to officially call you my daughter-in-law.”
A tear slipped down my cheek – clearly my emotions were all over the place. “Thank you. I can’t wait either.”
Deanna was the best mother-in-law I could have asked for. As much as I loved my mum, we were never as close as I hoped we’d be. She never understood me, or my need to break out of life in the remote Cornish village I’d grown up in. She was a homebody, loving life in the English countryside, and I’d wanted… more. I wanted everything I now had. Deanna got me. She didn’t try to make me fit into a mould. While my own mother had tried to make me feel guilty for wanting to break away, Deanna understood and encouraged me to be who I am.
“Look at us getting all emotional.” Deanna laughed, wiping away a tear as she let go of me. “If this is how we are now, we’re going to be a mess on the day!”
“I know.” I chuckled. “I’ve already told Bree my make-up needs to be waterproof otherwise I’ll look like some kind of zombie when I walk down the aisle!”
“Bree’s very talented. How’s her new job going?”
I smiled. “It’s great. I think she’s actually a little sad she’ll have to give it up for a while when the baby comes.”
That was an understatement. She’d recently begun working at a small television studio, applying make-up to local news reporters so they looked flawless on camera. She still worked
occasionally at the photography studio where she’d once done work experience, too. Her ambition was to work on movie sets, and with her skills, I figured she’d achieve that dream with ease.
“So she’s going back to work when the baby’s born?” Deanna asked, as, with a sigh, we began carefully putting my wedding dress back inside its protective cover.
The question hit me harder than it should have in light of my conversation with Richard. Deanna’s question was conversational rather than judgemental, but I couldn’t help but wonder about her opinion of working mums.
“Yeah, she is.” I carefully slid the zip up, watchful not to snag the material. “I think she spent so long not working that even with a baby, she’d still prefer to at least work part time. She really loves her job.”
“Good for her.” Deanna smiled as I handed her my now fully enclosed dress. She turned and headed for her walk-in wardrobe to hang it up, and raised her voice so I could hear her from the depths of the closet. “Seems like working was the best thing she ever did. I can understand why she wouldn’t want to give it up completely. Besides, she’s not the kind of girl who should be stuck at home waiting for her husband to come home. She’s got way too much personality to waste it lounging around the house.”
I laughed as Deanna came back into the bedroom. “You’re right about that. But… do you think… I mean, I know it’s not wrong for women to work when they have kids, it’s just…” I trailed off, unsure how to end the sentence. Shaking my head, I said, “It doesn’t matter.”
Deanna tilted her head to one side. “Do you want to talk about something?”
“I don’t know. I should probably talk to Radleigh first, I guess.”
She knew me too well. My hesitation was genuine, but we both knew I could trust her not to tell him anything I divulged, so she smiled and walked towards me, resting a hand on my shoulder. “Come on. It’s time for coffee, pastries and a talk.”
I nodded. I popped my head into Jessica’s room – yes, although she rarely stayed over, Deanna and Mitch had given her her own room, and since she was asleep, I’d placed her in her crib so she’d be more comfortable. I scooped up the baby monitor and we went downstairs to the kitchen.
Within a few minutes, Deanna had made the coffee and put our pastries on plates. We sat down at the kitchen table and tucked in.
“So, what’s going on?” Deanna asked in between mouthfuls of pastry.
“It’s not really a big deal until I figure out what I want, and if it would even work, but… Richard offered me my old job back.”
Deanna’s eyes widened. “That’s a pretty big deal.”
I shrugged. “It is and it isn’t. I love that he asked me but I’m not sure if it’s the right thing to do. I feel guilty for even considering it, to be honest.”
“Why?”
“Because the job involves so much time away from home. It would mean leaving Jessica for a couple of nights every couple of weeks or so for most of the year. It would mean not being able to put her to bed every single night, and just… not being there for her all the time like I swore I would.”
“You want the job?”
I blew out a breath. “I’m not sure. I haven’t had enough time to process it just yet.” I looked up Deanna. “I loved working for the Warriors. Loved the job and the people and the travelling. But things aren’t the way they used to be. Before, I was free to do all those things because I didn’t have a family to think of. It was just me. Now there are a lot of things to consider.”
Deanna smiled. “I’ll take that as a yes.”
I shook my head. “I’m a terrible person, aren’t I? First hint of a job offer and I’m ready to throw away all the promises I made to myself and to Jessica and Radleigh. I want to be good mum to her.”
“Being a good mom doesn’t mean you can’t have a career. You can do both.”
“I don’t know if I can. Not with this job. I also don’t know if I could stand leaving her. Saturday night was amazing, and it was so good to have some time with just with Radleigh, but I missed her so much. And then there’s the drama of finding someone we trust to take care of her.”
And who I can trust not to hit on Radleigh. I didn’t mean to sound paranoid, but I read the newspapers. I’d seen stories of childminders hired to look after the children of famous people who abused their position. Whether it was by hitting on the father of said children, or stealing things from the house, or making up horrendous accusations about the family who paid their wages. I liked to think the drama in our lives was over. Could I really consider inviting more in?
“We’ll take her, Leah,” Deanna said. “Mitch and I promised you we’d do whatever we could to help you, and we love having her here. So… if that’s one of the things that’s worrying you, please don’t.”
I’d never loved her more than in that moment, and I reached over and squeezed her hand. “Thank you. I appreciate that. But it is a lot to ask of you.”
She smiled. “It’s no trouble at all. Just take some time to really think this through before making any decisions. But don’t let a misplaced sense of guilt colour your choice. If you want to go back to work, do it.”
I really thought about what Deanna said for the rest of the day. She was right, as always. I shouldn’t let my fears about how I’d be perceived, or how I would perceive myself, dictate what I chose to do. Of course I could go to work and still be a good mother. I could make it work if that was what I wanted. And the more I thought about it, the more I thought it would be great. To be back in the job I’d loved more than any other, with my best friends. Plus, in a weird way, being on the road again would give Radleigh and I more time just for us. In between work, we’d have time to sit down and have dinner together, and we’d have more nights like Saturday night – just the two of us with no interruptions.
I needed to talk to Radleigh about everything but it would have to wait until much later. We had guests, and when Radleigh and Bryce walked through the door it was immediately clear he wasn’t in the mood for talking. He wandered into the living room to kiss me on the cheek, but his posture was all wrong - his face stony, his jaw tense. His dark hair was spiked up at the front as if he’d just run his fingers through it.
“Are you okay?” I asked, uncurling my legs from beneath me and placing the magazine I was reading on the sofa beside me.
He forced a smile that didn’t reach his eyes and nodded. “Yeah. Fine.”
He didn’t look directly at me, but before I could question him further, he turned and left the room. My eyes followed him then landed on Bryce who stood just outside the door, his dark eyebrows drawn together.
“What the hell?” I asked, standing up.
Bryce shrugged. “I’ve no idea. He was fine all day, then we showered and changed and he got out before me, and when I joined him outside… he looked like he wanted to murder someone. I asked him what was up and he just got in the car. Hasn’t said a word.”
My eyes narrowed. Radleigh could be a moody git at times, but not so moody that his attitude changed in the time it took for him to shower and change. And if something was bothering him, he would almost always tell either me or Bryce, so the fact that he was being grumpy with both of us took me by surprise.
“Take a seat,” I said, nodding towards the living room. “I’ll go check on him. Do you want something to drink?”
“A coffee would be good.” Bryce rested a supportive hand on my shoulder before I headed to the kitchen. The smell of the roast beef I was cooking wafted down the hallway, making my stomach grumble and I hoped Jesse and Kayla wouldn’t be too long because I was starving. Radleigh was leaning against the kitchen table, a half empty bottle of water in his hand. He stiffened as I walked over to him and rested my hands on his waist. He still wouldn’t meet my eye.
“What’s going on?” I asked, slipping my arms around him. I tilted my head up in the hopes he’d acknowledge me, but he didn’t make any move to touch me or look at me.
“Nothin
g’s going on.”
“Radleigh, come on.”
“It’s just been a long day, that’s all.” Finally, he lowered his gaze to me and as his eyes met mine he gave me a small smile, a little more genuine than the last. With a sigh, he placed his free hand on my cheek before sliding it to the back of my neck, my own tension lessening ever so slightly with his movement. “Sorry for being a grouch.” He leaned down and pressed his lips to mine.
I could still feel my eyebrows pulling together in confusion, but I kissed him back, glad he’d at least partially snapped out of his weird funk.
“I’m going to make some coffee,” I said, and Radleigh shook his head.
“I’ll do it. You carry on with dinner. Jesse and Kayla will be here soon.”
“Thank you.” I placed another kiss on his lips just as the doorbell rang, signalling their arrival, and I smiled. “I’ll get the door first.”
Thankfully, Radleigh’s mood fully shifted over the course of dinner; apparently food and fun with his friends was enough to cast away whatever had bothered him earlier. Once we’d eaten, Kayla and I left the boys to do the washing up, and we went upstairs to talk bridesmaids’ dresses.
The two of us sat on my bed and Kayla was practically giddy with excitement. I chuckled at her enthusiasm as she grappled my phone from my hands to look at the photos from my shopping excursion with Freya and Bree. Kayla was sixteen now, and getting more beautiful every day. Not only that though, she’d grown a lot from the shy, under-confident girl I’d first met. I knew this was, in part, thanks to Bree’s influence on her. Much to Bree’s amusement, Kayla looked on her as a role model, and watching Bree transform from housewife to make-up artist seemed to have inspired Kayla.
“This is so unfair,” Kayla said, scrolling through the photos we’d taken of our favourite dresses. “How am I supposed to choose?” She looked up, her face serious. “I’d like to recommend all of them, and we just change through the day so we get to show them all off.”
I laughed out loud. Yeah, she was starting to sound like Bree too. “I think Radleigh might kill me if I spent that much money on dresses.” He was generous with the budget but with seven bridesmaids and five favourite outfits, he’d most certainly think we’d taken things a few steps too far. “If it helps, we all liked the purple and blue the best?”