by Belle Malory
“Are we ever going to talk about this?” Rex asked uncertainly.
“Talk about what?”
He tilted his head sideways, letting me know he knew I was being evasive. “This thing between you and me,” he clarified.
“I didn’t realize there was a thing,” I said coldly. “You spent a long time trying to convince me there was no thing.”
He nodded, allowing my words to sting him. “Okay. I probably deserved that.”
I looked away, not knowing what to say or do. I was so incredibly angry with Rex, and I’d known that, but I hadn’t known the extent of that anger until this very moment. “Why did you tell me you wanted me? Why now?” I shouted. “You’ve ruined everything!”
Rex stepped back, overwhelmed by my sudden outburst. Then, he took two steps forward, standing directly in front of me.
I refused to look him in the eye, was purposefully dodging his gaze, but his fingertips were suddenly beneath my chin, gently turning my face upwards.
“What did I ruin?” he whispered softly.
Slowly, my anger deflated. “I think maybe it’s just not as special, you telling me all this now.”
He nodded, understanding where my hurt stemmed from. “It’s not that I didn’t want you before, Estelle,” he said. “In fact, I tried hard not to want you. You knew it and called me out on it.”
“You wanted Tatiana more,” I accused. The image of her, burned into his soul like a fiery brand, haunted every waking moment.
He craned his neck to the stars, as if they were to blame for everything. “It’s a curious thing to know I’ve been alive so long, remembered each day, each life-lesson. You’d think I’d be a wise, old man by now, wouldn’t you?”
When I didn’t answer him, he met my gaze again. “Tatiana was simply a mystery I was never able to figure out. She was the one that got away, I guess.”
I looked away, feeling the words burn me like hot coals. The one that got away. “Well, she’s here now,” I said, not wanting to hear anymore.
“But,” he said, the word hanging in the air while he forced me to face him. “When I finally found her, I realized she was never really what I was looking for.”
Tentatively, I asked, “So then what were you looking for?”
He shrugged. “A purpose, maybe. Something to live for. The last time I felt like I made a difference in this world was during the life I shared with Tatiana.”
“Oh,” I murmured. My gaze traveled downwards dejectedly. I wasn’t sure what I’d hoped to hear, but that definitely wasn’t it.
Rex was in front of me again, holding my face between his hands and running his fingers through my hair. Unable to help myself, I closed my eyes and leaned against him, inhaling the faint scent of evergreen soap.
Rex bent down, his warm breath on my ear. “Whatever it was I felt for Tatiana all those years ago could never share the same galaxy as what I feel for you right now.”
My eyes fluttered open. Those were words I wanted to hear. Those were words I felt wrenching their way into my heart.
“And you talk about me not wanting you?” he asked, almost as if it were a joke. “I can’t stand in your presence without thinking of all the things I’d like to do to you.”
A rush of heat found its way to my face. I burrowed my face into Rex’s neck, trying to hide it from him. Teasingly, I asked, “Do you think there’s a box of markers somewhere in the castle?”
Rex stayed silent for a second, dazed, and then burst out laughing. I don’t think I’d ever seen him laugh so hard.
It surprised me the most seeing myself etched into Rex’s gaze. He was telling the truth. I could see that the one thing he wanted was me.
As his laughter dissipated, Rex gently rested his forehead against mine. “Tell me you love me, Estelle. Tell me before I shrivel up and die.”
I rolled my eyes. “I doubt you’ll die.”
“I will,” he assured me.
I smiled. “In that case,” I paused, realizing I was finally willing to let the words come out. “I love you, Rex.”
An unsteady breath escaped his lips. Rex drew his face away from mine, searching my eyes. For all his joking, he stared at me now as if he desperately needed believe what I told him.
“I mean it,” I said seriously. “I finally dreamed of my past lives. I don’t remember everything.” I stared out into space, a wave of old memories spilling over me. “But I know I’ve never felt this way about anyone.”
His mouth curved into a large smile. His happiness was infectious, too. I was sure the sparkle in his eyes dusted into mine.
Gently, he brushed his lips across mine, but I pulled back, feeling the moment was incomplete. I shook my head. “Aren’t you forgetting something?”
He arched a brow. “Exactly what am I forgetting?”
“You’re supposed to say it back, you jackass. It was bad enough I had to say it first.”
He grinned, as if he knew something I didn’t. “I said it first, actually.”
Crossing my arms over my chest, I waited for him to explain, wondering how he was going to weasel his way into claiming dibs on who said it first.
Seeing my disbelief, he said, “It’s true. You were right over there.” Rex pointed to a nearby bench.
It was the same bench I’d fallen asleep on a few weeks ago, on the day Salazar requested his hearing. “I thought I’d been dreaming,” I murmured. “But that was when you first came to Redwood Forest.”
He nodded. “I knew even then,” he told me. “I desperately wanted to seek you out, but I had to keep up the pretense with Tatiana. When I saw you lying there, looking so peaceful, I knew I needed to do everything I could to keep you safe.”
I shook my head, wondrously. I’d thought it had all been an illusion of my subconscious, me portraying myself as Tatiana in my dream, someone I believed Rex loved. And yet…it had been me the entire time. Half-awake and groggy from sleeping in the sun too long.
I wrapped my arms around Rex’s shoulders. “You can kiss me now,” I said, smiling.
“About time.” He grinned.
His kiss was made of intoxicating stuff, full of love and passion.
Thirty-Eight
Later that night, King Gabor requested to meet with Lola in private. She’d come out of the meeting, looking completely relieved. “He let me off the hook,” she said, smiling. “Apparently he only wanted to be assured that you are not the oracle. Once his spies confirmed your lack of abilities, he decided a hearing wasn’t necessary.”
“That’s great,” I told her happily.
She nodded. “We can leave first thing tomorrow morning.”
The news struck me hard. Leave?
Just hours earlier I’d been looking forward to leaving. Somehow Rex’s confession had shifted my attitude entirely though. Now I felt a weakening in my heart at the thought of not being here, in this wonderfully enchanted forest.
And then there was Rex. I would have to go home to Calabasas, but Rex’s home was in Florida, all the way on the other side of the country. The thought of not seeing Rex was even worse than any reservation I had about missing Redwood Forest.
That night I tossed and turned in my room. As hard as I tried, I couldn’t sleep a wink. Rex hadn’t said anything to me since Lola shared her news. I couldn’t stand it, not knowing what would happen, not knowing what he was thinking. It was killing me. I wished I could seek him out just to put an end to my torment, but had no idea where his room was. Unless I went about the castle, sneaking into to every bedroom until I stumbled upon the right one, I would have to suck it up and wait until morning.
Ironically, sleep finally invaded my body just as the early morning rays of sunlight spilled through the window. Not long after, the sound of Abby’s barking woke me again. I groaned, hearing the cause of her barks. Someone was knocking at the door.
“Come in!” I moaned, too lazy to get up from my bedroll. A moment later, Lola burst through the door.
“What is
it?” I croaked, my voice still heavy with exhaustion.
“Our plane leaves in two hours,” she replied. “You have to get up.”
I groaned, reluctant to leave the comfort of my pillows.
Lola plopped down beside me. “Didn’t get much sleep?”
“None at all,” I grumbled.
Lola walked to the window and opened the blinds, allowing the full shock of sunlight to pour inside. I pulled the blanket over my head, wishing she would leave.
Randomly, Lola mentioned, “Rex shaved this morning.”
I pulled the blanket back down and looked up at her. She was grinning mischievously. “His clothes are neatly pressed, too. I have to admit, he looks quite dapper. . .”
“What’s this about, Lo?” I asked. “It’s not like you to beat around the bush.”
Her grin deepened, causing her blue eyes to almost twinkle in the sunlight. “Oh, nothing,” she said, in a sing-song voice. “I just thought I might come in here and find you glowing just as much as he is. Thought maybe you might’ve had something to do with his good mood.”
I sighed, figuring it was useless to pretend like nothing was going on. “We talked last night,” I admitted.
“And?” she prompted me.
“And some words of love may have been exchanged.” I smiled.
Lola squealed. A few moments later, she asked me, “So why do you look so gloomy? You should be up and about, singing with the bluebirds and whatnot.”
I sighed, remembering what was in store for today. “Because we’re leaving,” I complained in a low voice.
“Oh,” she murmured. “Well, Redwood Forest will always be here. You can come back one day."
“That’s not what I meant exactly,” I fidgeted with one of the pillow’s cords. “Florida and California are a long ways away from each other. Opposite ends of the country, you know?”
“Ah,” she said, getting my drift. Then, she quickly waved that aside. “If I know Rex, he’ll find a way to be with you.”
“Do you really think so?” I asked hopefully.
She nodded emphatically. “I know so.”
I smiled, relieved by her reassurance.
Lola slapped my leg through the blanket. “So get dressed,” she ordered. “We’ve got a long day ahead of us.”
Miserably, I dragged myself away from the bedroll and headed towards the shower. I rushed through it, wary of the time. I spent the trip here passed out, so I had no idea how long it took to get to the airport.
Someone had collected my things from my previous tent, which I was grateful for. I slipped on my Levi’s and a pair of suede boots. I reached for a gray sweater to complete the ensemble, then suddenly changed my mind. I decided to wear my red tunic instead. My wardrobe seemed to be allowing room for color these days.
The very minute I was through packing, I heard a light tap at my door. Rex came into the room a moment later, brightening when he saw me.
Lola was right about his appearance. He was freshly showered, clean-shaven and wearing a pressed navy button-up. He immediately moved towards me, sliding his hand beneath my hair, drawing my face to his. His lips softly touched mine, lingering there for only a few seconds.
After pulling away, he gently ran his thumbs across the skin beneath my eyes. “Circles?” he asked curiously.
“I didn’t get much sleep,” I admitted.
I thought maybe he would suspect something was bothering me, but he didn’t question me about my lack of sleep. Instead, he said, “Well it’s a long plane ride. You’ll have plenty of time to make up for it.”
I arched a brow, knowing Rex was not this dense, which could only mean one thing. He didn’t want to ask me what was wrong. Was he not ready to have this conversation? I wondered.
Rex reached for my bag. “You ready to go?” he asked.
I nodded, scrutinizing his features to see if there was something he was hiding. “I can carry my own bag.”
He grinned, hooking his free arm around my waist. “But it makes me happy to do it for you.”
When we reached Henri Coanda Airport, I found out our flight had a scheduled layover. First, we would land in Paris. From there, I would have to take a different flight back to the states.
I boarded the first plane with slow feet. I kept turning back to watch the last images of Romania fade behind me. Rex gave me the window seat once we boarded. I continued to stare out of its tiny block of glass, reluctant to turn my eyes away for even one moment. I wanted to remember this place, to have every detail sketched within the pages of my memory so I could hold on to them forever.
Rex still refused to speak about the giant elephant sitting with us in the cabin of the plane. The longer he waited, the more anxious I became. He was torturing me, tearing me up into a thousand little shreds inside. My worries, as troublesome as they were, could not elude sleep a second time. Rex pulled me against him and I snuggled into the crook of his arm, dozing off.
I slept so deeply, it seemed as if only five minutes had passed, when in actuality, I had slept the entire plane ride. Groggily, I sat up, glancing out of my window. We were already descending into Paris. The structures of old buildings sharpened into view below us. I sighed dreamily, wishing I had time to explore Paris before going home.
Wasn’t it supposed to be considered the city of love? I wondered gloomily. If that were the case, I shouldn’t be flying out of its borders heartbroken.
I walked with everyone to their terminal after we landed. My layover was over an hour’s wait anyway, so I’d just be waiting around. Boarding was prompted almost immediately after we arrived, much to my further annoyance. I only had a few minutes left with Rex. The realization that he’d be gone soon was unsettling. It was on the tip of my tongue to ask him when or if I’d see him again, but the words were lodged in my throat.
I hugged Lola and Gabe, squeezing both of them until they could barely breathe. “Promise you’ll come to our wedding?” Lola asked me tearfully.
I nodded. “Promise.”
After I said my goodbyes to Lola and Gabe, I turned to face Rex. He stood there casually, both hands resting in his pockets as if he didn’t have any worries in the world.
I promptly burst into tears.
Chuckling, Rex reached for me, hugging me close. Over the top of my head, he said, “You cry way too much, my love.”
I ignored his attempt to make light of the situation. “When will we see each other again?” I demanded.
He sighed, taking on a more serious tone. “We’ll see each other soon,” he promised. “I’ll visit you in California.”
“Really?” I asked, hopefully.
“Did you think I wouldn’t?”
I eyed him warily, wondering why he acted as if being apart were no big deal. “I didn’t know. You haven’t said anything.”
He tilted my chin up. “We’ll make this work. We’ll Skype, talk, text, email, whatever form of communication there is, we’ll do it.”
I nodded fiercely. “Okay,” I agreed.
“And maybe you could look into Florida colleges?”
I smiled. “Definitely.”
The last call to board was announced. Lola and Gabe waved before heading towards the gate.
Rex leaned over me. He wiped the tears from my cheeks, using the sleeve of his shirt, reminding me of the day we spent on the mountaintop.
Bending down, Rex brushed his lips across mine. He started to move away, then changed his mind. He kissed me again, urging my lips apart, his tongue searing through me, biting my lip and pulling me closer. I wrapped my hand around the back of his neck, holding him tightly. The kiss was far too intimate for a public airport.
I didn’t care. I wished he’d keep kissing me forever, right there in the middle of the terminal. It didn’t matter. As far as I was concerned, we were the only two people there.
When Rex finally released me, I was dizzy and reluctant to let him go. I knew if he didn’t go soon though, he’d miss his flight.
“Goodbye,” I said, despising the word.
“It’s not goodbye,” he assured me.
I nodded sadly, trying to believe him. He moved away from me, and walked towards the gate. I decided it would be best not to watch him leave. I forced myself to turn around, heading in the opposite direction.
The airport blurred as hot tears sprung to my eyes. I wiped them away before attracting unwanted attention. Trying to focus, I pulled out my boarding pass. Except when I dug around in my purse, I couldn’t find it. Don’t panic. I pulled out my original ticket, looking over it.
My flight was four days away.
Okay, now was a good time to panic.
I stared at it without blinking, hoping I’d read it incorrectly. The time was correct, an hour from now, but the connection wasn’t for another four days.
Lola made a mistake. She mixed up the dates and now I was stuck in Paris with no money and no place to stay. I fanned myself with the tickets, feeling enormously hot.
The sound of running footsteps advanced from behind me. I turned at the sound of my name being called.
Rex stood there, smiling brilliantly.
“Rex, you’re going to miss your flight,” I said.
“Nah,” he said unworriedly. “My flight doesn’t leave for another four days.”
I flinched, confused. “But Lola and Gabe just boarded the plane.”
“Yeah, they did.”
I looked down at my ticket and then back at Rex. “Did Lola make a mistake when she booked our tickets?”
He shrugged.
Something fluttered inside my stomach. I felt a smile slowly creep to my face. I covered my mouth with the ticket, hiding my shame along with my beaming smile. I can’t believe I didn’t catch onto Rex’s charade sooner.
“I figured you probably didn’t need to go home to your evil mom and sister just yet,” Rex said, pulling the ticket away from my face. “What’s a couple more days, right?”
A surge of excitement rushed through me. Was this really happening?