Wastes of Space

by Darcy Town

  Ravil shoveled soup in her mouth. She swallowed and made a face. “Okay when it’s just me in space. Landing, taking off, docking, it’s hard. I lost count how many times I killed us.”

  Katarina nodded. “No doubt. We had to practice on those for years before they’d let us get in a real plane.” She traced her spoon through her soup. “You know, we have a place in Bombay where our younger washouts reside. They’re your age and a little older, Charlie still keeps ‘em practicing. You could go there, learn to fly that way. You’d fit right in I bet and make a lot of friends.”

  Tasanee eyed her.

  Katarina kept her eyes on Ravil. “What do you think?”

  Ravil finished off her bowl and got up for water. “That’s okay, I don’t need to learn. It’s why I have Rake for my pilot. He can fly.”

  Katarina stared into her soup bowl. “Your pilot? Where’d you get the notion that he was your pilot?”

  Ravil poured water. “He told me so.”

  Katarina white-knuckled her spoon. “Rake flies solo.”

  Ravil frowned. “But it’s a two-person cockpit. Do you guys want any water?”

  Katarina stood and pushed her soup away. “No.” She looked at Ravil. “He only flies alone.” She stomped out of the kitchen.

  Ravil frowned and retook her seat. She looked to Tasanee. “Did I say something bad?”

  “Pilots don’t like change. They have their routines, their patterns, and flight teams. That’s all.” Tasanee patted her hand. “Don’t worry about it.”

  “Okay.” Ravil drained her water glass and yawned. “I’m exhausted!”

  Tasanee stood up and ruffled her hair. “You earned a goodnight’s sleep, go pass out. I’ll do the dishes.”

  Ravil smiled and grabbed a roll to take with her. “Can I work with you tomorrow?”

  “Of course, I’m going to make you a master mechanic yet!” Tasanee watched Ravil run up the stairs, she heard Rake’s door close. She leaned on the wall and put her forehead against the paint. The muscles in her face worked as she struggled not to yell, cry, or swear. She made her hands into fists, smiled, and started on the dishes.

  A knock on the front door startled her. She opened it to see Oro on the front porch. “What are you doing here?”

  Oro flashed a smile. “Danny told me I should come over, didn’t say why.” He stepped inside. “I bet it’s for a party.”

  “Party for what?” Tasanee headed back to the kitchen.

  “Rake of course.” He followed her. “A coming home party. I already started making calls.”

  Tasanee toweled off clean dishes. “You don’t know if that is what you were called for or even when he’s coming home.”

  Oro shrugged. “Well we can have a party tomorrow night either way. We haven’t had one since Kat’s birthday party.”

  “Rake can’t be done already, can he?”

  Oro grabbed a bread roll and bit it in half. “The new stuff they have out there works great at detoxing. I knew a guy who did it in a day, twelve hours actually, totally cleaned out. You still have to take the pills for awhile after to keep the cravings off, but you lose all the side effects of being an addict quick.”

  “Is twelve hours typical?”

  Oro shook his head. “I don’t know.”

  “Rake must have been bad off if it is.” Tasanee frowned. “I really hope he gets out tomorrow.”

  “Why?”

  She caught him watching her. “Because I miss him! Kat misses him!”

  He eyed her. “She still carrying a torch?”

  Tasanee cleared her throat. “Honestly?”

  “Yeah.”

  She nodded and put bowls into the cupboard.

  He picked her up from behind. “Don’t be frowny, Rat!” He bounced her around. “Be happy! Happy, happy, happy Rat, loves the pussy known as Kat!”

  Tasanee elbowed him. “Shut up, you are so annoying, Oro! Why can’t you be like your dad?”

  “He’s a stiff.” Oro put her down and turned her around. He leaned into her. “You know, in another life, if I didn’t like men, if you didn’t like women, we’d be the perfect couple.”

  Tasanee burst out laughing. “The best!”

  Oro grabbed a beer out of the fridge. Bass rocked their walls. He glared at the rave house through the windows. “My mission is to put them to shame.”

  Tasanee snorted. “Good luck.”

  “You doubt my prowess?” Oro looked offended. “This is for Rake, it has to be the best, unless he doesn’t show up, I’ll accept second best if that is the case.”

  Tasanee grinned. “If he’s a no-show it can be the practice run.”

  “Good idea.” Oro pulled out a piece of paper and laid it out on the counter. “So this is what I was thinking.”

  ***

  Danny left Rake’s side for a trip to the bathroom. Marx slipped in through an open window. He leaned over Rake and extended his last empty claw.

  Rake made a face in his sleep. He smacked his lips and opened his eyes. “I knew you were back, my mouth itches again. Why am I hallucinating you?”

  Dead Lara sat next to Rake. “This is real, Rake.” She looked worried.

  Rake looked at Dead Lara. “Really?”

  Marx looked at where Rake looked. “Who are you talking to?”

  “Hallucination.” Rake gave Marx a once over. “You make me tingle, Marx.”

  “Odd.” Marx drew a claw of blood. “Sorry about this, I lost my other sample. Be seeing you.” He rolled off Rake and slipped out the window into the night.

  Danny came back in from the bathroom. He caught sight of Rake’s bleeding face. “How did that happen?”

  “Karl Marx did it. He was just here.”

  Danny sighed. “Why are you hallucinating Karl Marx?”

  Rake shrugged and yawned. “I don’t know. Why does he have claws in his hands or yellow eyes? Important life questions, Danny.” He faded into sleep. Danny stared at him with a frown on his face.

  ***

  Ravil stretched in her bed, waking up from a night of solid sleep. The windows let in light, mid-morning already. She yawned and pulled ear buds out of her ears. She’d fallen asleep to The Empire Strikes Back. She wrapped the headphones around the player and set it on the bed. Her muscles ached in her back and arms, strained from working the day before.

  Ravil picked out a day glow orange tube top and a pair of blue shorts. She grabbed a red bra and panty set and a pair of neon yellow stockings. With clothes in hand, she opened her door a crack and looked out. She didn’t hear anything.

  Ravil padded up the stairs quietly and rapped on Danny’s door. “Danny? Can I use your shower?” She walked in and flicked on the light. The room was empty, bed not slept in. She closed the door behind her.

  Ravil passed Danny’s wall of pictures. She stopped and looked at them, recognizing Rake, Katarina, Oro, Keto, Mica, and Danny. There were a few others she did not recognize; three girls stood out in the older pictures, two blondes and a brunette. The blondes hung around Katarina and Rake almost exclusively, the other, the brunette stayed tied to Oro and Mica’s side. They all looked very excited to be wherever they were, some kind of military school, they wore matching uniforms. Ravil smiled at the young looking Rake.

  She stepped into the bathroom and locked the door. She set her clothes down and examined her hair. She measured it by sight. It had not grown overnight.

  Ravil leaned into the mirror and checked out her irises, dark, but not darker than the day before. She let out a breath. She’d halted, staying in this stage. Ravil smiled. “Stage complete.”

  She stripped off her shirt and poked her flat stomach. She eyed her perky breasts, nothing like Katarina’s full bosom, but good enough for her subspecies. She had no complaints. At least she wasn’t in that prepubescent stage anymore, that had been an awkward place to get stuck at for years.

  She hopped in the shower and grabbed for the soap, she loved the way it smelled, a mixture of clean and fresh. Ravil c
losed her eyes and let her mind slip. She reached out with her senses, searching for Rake, he had not moved from his current location. Her heart fluttered.

  Ravil frowned at the ache and excitement buried in her skin. Why did she feel that anytime she thought about him? She wanted him to be all right, and she wanted to know how he was doing. But that was a Navigator thing wasn’t it? The bond with a pilot came with emotional attachments, the caring kind.

  What if it wasn’t that? Ravil shook her head. No, she couldn’t possibly have those kind of feelings for him. Rake liked men, so what was the point? Add to that, he was a Waster and her kind did not breed outside their subspecies.

  She pictured him in the shower when she’d first met him, drunk but attractive. Her cheeks heated up to light pink. She put her head in the spray of water; she wished she had someone to talk to about all of this. Tasanee was fine, but she didn’t understand what it was to be a Navigator.

  Ravil did not know if these feelings were normal between a Navigator and pilot or if this were something else, something more. If it were something more, she frowned, well that just wasn’t possible. She ground her teeth. That’s what she had thought about jumping with him too, and look where that had gotten her.

  She dispelled the thought and stepped out of the shower. She squeezed her hair out and dried off, focusing on the task. There was no point in thinking about Rake now. He wasn’t here, he was still sick. She thought instead on what she would do today, fixing more ships, perhaps practicing flight again. She looked forward to the work; she enjoyed the tasks, they kept her mind occupied. Ravil slipped into her clothes. She eyed her rainbow outfit, appreciative of the bright colors.

  Ravil skipped downstairs, she could smell breakfast, hear people talking. She liked this family. The concept was novel, but steadily growing on her. She jumped down the last few steps and landed on her feet. Katarina, Oro, and Danny looked up from the table in the dining room, no one spoke.

  Ravil grabbed a banana from the table. “Where’s Rat?”

  Katarina spoke softly, “She’s working on her ships.”

  Ravil nodded and peeled the fruit. “Oh, okay.” She walked towards the door. “I’m going to go help her. Bye!”

  Danny got up moved towards the door. “Ravil, wait.”

  “Yeah?” She looked back. Oro stared at his feet, and Katarina stared at her breakfast. Ravil looked at Danny. “What’s going on? Is Rake hurt?”

  “No Rake’s fine, Ravil.”

  Ravil ate half of her banana in one bite. She spoke through a full mouth, “Oh good.”

  Danny edged closer. “Ravil, we think it would be safer if we moved you.”

  Ravil swallowed. “Where?”

  “Bombay.”

  Ravil nodded. “Rat and Kat told me about it yesterday. The other haven for pilots, right?”

  Danny brightened. “Yes, it’s a great city, you’ll love it. There are people your age there, other pilots.”

  Ravil grinned. “Great!”

  Danny was visibly relieved. “I promise you’ll enjoy it.”

  Ravil finished her banana and nodded. “When do Rake and I leave?”

  Katarina stalked into the kitchen, out of sight. Oro watched her go. Ravil looked confused. Danny sighed. “Only you’re going. Rake is still sick.”

  “But he’ll come after?”

  “No, Ravil, he’s staying here.”

  Ravil looked between Oro and Danny. “Why?”

  “It’s better if you two are apart.”

  Ravil took a step back. “No it’s not. Why would you think that?”

  “Ravil—”

  “We can’t be apart.”

  Danny looked at Oro for backup, but the young man didn’t say anything. He turned to Ravil. “Rake needs to recover on his own. Besides that, you don’t need to hang out with a recovering drug addict or any of us, it’s dangerous here.”

  “I can deal with danger, Danny. It’s all I’ve ever had.”

  “I’m offering you a place without danger, Ravil. You can get an education, social interaction, and protection. You’ll meet people your own age, girls and other boys. Everything you need is there in Bombay.”

  Ravil frowned. “The only thing I need is my pilot and Rake is my pilot.”

  Katarina stormed out of the kitchen. “No he’s not!” She was red in the face. “Look, Danny’s right, you’re making Rake worse. Danny and Keto have told us what he’s been saying about you. All the weird—”

  “Katarina!” Danny glared at her. “Be quiet.”

  Ravil looked between them. “I’m making him worse? I thought he was quitting for me?”

  Katarina ignored Danny. “Yeah, he’s quitting needles and apparently leeching onto you instead!”

  Oro stepped in. “He can’t overdose off a girl, Kat. Look, I don’t think we need to do this. Ravil isn’t in danger—”

  “Shut up, Oro!” Katarina glared at him. “What do you know?”

  Oro jumped out of his chair. “I know that you’re in love with him and see little jail bait there as a threat and that’s why you’re going along with this! And who is the sick one in that regard? He’s not Sammy! You can’t switch twins just because you want to!”

  Katarina clenched her jaw. “Don’t talk about Sammy!”

  Oro gave her a shove. “You chastise Rake for replacing Lara, but you replaced Sammy with him. That’s the only reason you love him.”

  “I do not love him! Not like that, he is my friend! I just want him to get better!”

  “Uh-huh, Rat knows better!”

  “Fuck you, Oro! Stay out of our relationship!”

  Danny got in-between the two before it came to blows. “Stop! This is just for his health. Ravil, he needs to be able to get better on his own. Oro is going to take you to Bombay so that Rake can recover without having to worry about you.”

  Ravil took a step back. “I do not take orders from you. Only my pilot has the right.”

  Katarina gaped at Ravil. “You’re crazy. None of us are pilots anymore!”

  Danny pushed Katarina to the side. “Ravil, you’re leaving with Oro. You’ll like it in Bombay and once Rake is better, he can visit you. If you really want to learn to fly, Charlie has actual flight simulators there. I told him a little bit about you. He said he’d like to meet you—”

  Ravil balled her hands into fists. “You Wasters don’t understand anything!”

  Katarina scowled. “We understand what we need to get along! Our family has to heal, Ravil. We need to be here for him and you need to not be in the way.”

  “Oh yeah? You didn’t stop him from shooting up in the first place, so what’s to say you can help him now!”

  Danny ground his teeth. “Regardless Ravil, he doesn’t want you around when he is getting better.”

  Her chin trembled. “He didn’t say that.”

  Danny stared her right in the eye. “He asked me to remove you so that he didn’t have to see you when he gets back. Even he recognizes that what he has with you isn’t healthy, that it should stop before it develops into something worse.”

  “Isn’t healthy?” Ravil wrinkled her nose. “What are you talking about?”

  “Your, friendship, it’s not right.”

  “Why?”

  “He’s twenty-seven Ravil, you’re…”

  Ravil stuck her chin out. “I’m what?”

  “Young.” Danny folded his arms. “Too young to be friends or anything meaningful to each other. To think otherwise is foolish. He’s not a parental figure, so anything else you’re looking for is—”

  “He could teach me things.”

  “He’s not a teacher, Ravil, he’s ill. He’s not in a state to do anything for anyone. He has to think of himself right now. You’re a burden he doesn’t need. I’m sorry.”

  Ravil looked at Oro. “Fine, take me to Bombay. I don’t want to hear anymore of this lying shit.”

  Oro ducked his head and took her hand. He spared Katarina and Danny a glance, sighed and walk
ed out of the house with Ravil in tow.

  Oro led her to a compact car he had parked a few blocks away. Ravil glared at the back of his head as he unlocked the passenger side door. He held the door open and took in her expression. “Look, Ravil, this wasn’t my idea, I’m really sorry.”

  “Sure.” She picked flakes of chipping gold paint off the side of his car. Fear made her heart race. “You’re still going through with it.”

  He frowned. “I don’t have much of a choice. But Bombay really is a great place. Charlie is an amazing pilot and commander, and you need a place to stay.”

  She looked up at him. “Where do you stay? Can I stay with you?”

  He shook his head. “No, where I stay is not safe for little girls. Come on, hop in.” She didn’t move. He leaned on the car. “Look, if you think Rake wants to see you, then he’ll come to Bombay to see you. If you don’t think that, then why would you stay? What keeps you here?”

  Ravil shook her head. “You don’t understand. It doesn’t matter if he despises me, if he never wants to see me again. I can’t go.” She shivered in the heat of the day. “I can’t leave, he can leave. I can’t!”

  “Why?”

  “You won’t understand. None of you understand anything!”

  Oro smiled. “Just try me.”

  “Fine! I am a refugee in a resistance movement against a space-faring empire!” Ravil punched the car door. “That empire is blockading this entire planet looking for me because I can open holes in space and move ships, people, and supplies. The Resistance brought me here, but I bonded with Rake. Now he is my pilot, I am his Navigator. I am under a physical compulsion to stay with him! To do otherwise is to incur pain and eventually death. So I can’t go!”

  Oro frowned. “Say that again.”

  Ravil bolted towards the field.

  Oro came to his senses. “Shit! Ravil, wait! Ravil, where are you going?”

  Ravil sprinted down the street and leapt up the chain-link fence that surrounded the field and Tasanee’s workshop. She dove from the fence into the grass and brambles. She did not take the path Tasanee had shown her yesterday. Having been to the location, she knew exactly what direction it was from her.

  Oro reached the path. He did not see her. “Ravil?” He looked at the metal gate and climbed over the top. He dropped to the other side and ran down the path. “Ravil!”