Wastes of Space

by Darcy Town

  Tasanee shrugged. “More than likely.”

  Bass came on from the raver’s party house. Theo turned their music up louder and shouted into a microphone, “Space cadets!” Everyone screamed back at him. Theo put on a new song. “Put the kids to shame! Make some noise!”

  Rake stood up and jumped along with everyone else, the sound of stomping feet became deafening. Some of the party moved to the deck. Ravil and Oro found themselves pushed out into the night.

  The music was just as loud outside as in, but outside it mingled with the music from the next house over. The air had cooled off considerably. The party next door was close enough to look into. The black lights and rainbow colored attire of the kids next door was a garish contrast to the leather, solids, and more adult attire of those on their side.

  Ravil grinned at both. She got caught up in the music and stomped in her heels along with everyone else. Oro kept a watchful eye on those nearby. He put his body between hers and the windows, blocking her from sight.

  As the song changed, most of those outside went in, giving them good cover to slip inside. Oro worked her towards the wall; those that could recognize her were across the room. Tasanee caught his eye and flashed him a thumbs up. Oro leaned into Ravil. “They’re getting lax and tipsy.”

  She looked up. “So is Rake.”

  “Rake’s had maybe two or three watered down beers. Kat’s been taking shots, so have Danny and Keto. Czar doesn’t give a fuck.”

  Evgeniy leaned over them. “What don’t I give fuck?” The tall Russian patted Ravil on the head. “Rake will be pleased, surprise gift?”

  Oro shrugged. “Sure, don’t ruin it by telling anyone, Czar.”

  Evgeniy shrugged. “My lips sealed and occupied.” Betty raked his back with her nails. He grinned and turned around, lifting her off her feet. The two melded back in with the dancers.

  Oro looked around. “Okay, I am going to get Rake away from the others, you get yourself alone.” He left her side.

  Ravil shrugged and walked outside, enjoying the cool air. Only a few others were out on the deck and they were wrapped up in each other. Ravil walked to the end, farthest from the door and stared out at the rave next door. She smiled and pulled off her hat, she shook out her white, red, and orange hair; it fell down her back in a silky wave. She smiled and leaned on the railing, her pants held just above the hips, red underwear peeked out the top.

  She looked into the sky as the smog parted and a full moon peeked through. She was filled with nervous energy. What would Rake think of her changes? She looked at her outfit, self-conscious. She frowned. What he thought of her didn’t matter, shouldn’t factor in. She played with her hair and let the thought go.

  ***

  Rake hung around by the doorway to the stairs and the rest of the house. He had another beer in hand, a gift from Tasanee. Katarina, Danny, Keto, and Tasanee stood near the wall with him. They’d moved to the door to hear each other better. Rake stepped into the light of the stairwell. Keto looked Rake over. “Are you still feeling all right?”

  Rake nodded. “Better than ever.”

  Katarina grinned. “Lucky you the meds don’t have any problems with alcohol.”

  Rake smirked. “I doubt that would have stopped me.”

  “I would have.” Keto glared at him. “Rake, you need to pay attention, you still could hallucinate.”

  “Uh-huh.”

  A few partygoers ran into them. Keto and Danny stepped aside to let them pass.

  Rake brought his beer to his lips and gazed into the crowd. He looked past dancers and those getting intimate in the dark. His green eyes locked on a flash of white through the windows. His heart skipped a beat and changed, pounding faster. Ravil.

  His focus narrowed until she was the only thing he could see. Scents and sounds faded. The people around him dropped away, meaningless and extraneous. Nothing else mattered. She was here.

  The knowledge made his blood surge. His fingers twitched, his muscles tensed. Her presence filled him with half-remembered cravings and rekindled sensations he had long since buried. He clenched his hands and cracked his beer bottle.

  He straddled the light of the party and the void that surrounded her. If he went to her, something would change in him that he would not be able to take back. He could stay here and keep his life empty and alone. Or he could go and share it with her. All he had to do was choose.

  To Rake, there was no choice.

  He dropped his beer and stepped into the darkness. People bumped against him, grabbed at him, but he did not sense them. He pushed partiers out of his way. He tripped on bottles and knocked into couples. He stepped over an amorous pairing. He stalked past Oro without noticing him. He walked straight towards a glass window and slammed into it. He was knocked back a foot.

  He touched his head. Confused, he put his hands to the glass and pressed. He could not see the window for what it was, only saw her beyond, this barrier a mystery. He tried to push through. A hand wrapped around his wrist and pulled. Rake tore his arm away and hit the glass. He had to get through it; he had to get to her.

  Oro screamed into his ear, “Use the doorway you stupid fuck!”

  A small part of Rake’s consciousness listened and he let himself be led. He did not look away from Ravil, he couldn’t. He pivoted around her, drawn in on an invisible line. He kept his hand on the glass, his palm squeaked as Oro dragged him.

  Oro pulled him out of the doorway and put him on the deck so that Ravil was in his line of sight. He let Rake go before Rake yanked on him.

  Released, Rake walked straight towards her. Couples dodged out of his way, the look on his face one of utter determination. He was going to get to his goal and if they got in his way, they might find themselves pushed over the railing. Rake would never know, he had tunnel vision. He could hear her heartbeat, her breathing, not the music or people around him.

  He stopped short behind her, a gap of mere inches between them. The smell of space was overwhelming, intoxicating, rolling off her in waves. She was a brilliant shining white light, her skin and hair luminous. She turned her head slightly, aware of exactly where he was. She waited and kept her eyes on the building next door.

  Rake took in her profile, changed from when he last saw her. He gazed at the curve of her neck, the fall of her hair. He placed one hand on the railing to her right and one hand to the railing on her left. Not touching her, but boxing in. He didn’t know if he were protecting her, or keeping her in place. He did know that he wanted to touch her, to smell her, to kiss her and hold her.

  He leaned in until his nose was just above her hair. He screwed his eyes shut. He couldn’t help himself; he inhaled and his knees went weak. He dropped his head and smelled her hair just behind her ear so that his breath reached her throat. The warmth of her skin washed over him and it was all he could do to prevent himself from nuzzling her neck. He kept his feet in place, his legs, and pelvis angled away from her, but he ached and it was a fight not to press into her.

  Tasanee and Oro blocked the doorway between the deck and the party. Katarina, Danny, and Keto stood just beyond them inside the party. They stared at Rake and Ravil through the glass. Danny glared at Oro. “Why the fuck didn’t you tell us?!”

  “Surprise!” Oro smiled.

  “This isn’t funny, Oro!”

  Oro held up his hands. “Just chill the fuck out.”

  Keto pointed at Rake. “Is he sniffing her?”

  Tasanee looked at Rake and then at Oro. “Seems very, uhm, called to her, don’t you think, Oro?”

  Oro looked at the pair. “Quite.” He turned to Danny. “Leave them alone.”

  “Tasanee!” Katarina glared at her girlfriend. “You knew about this?”

  Tasanee nodded. “Yes and I agree with Oro, leave them be or things will go badly. We’re not letting you through.”

  Oro grinned. “Not at all.”

  Outside, Ravil’s heart pounded out of control; whether it was because his was, she did not kn
ow. She broke out in goose bumps. She could feel him just behind her, not touching, not moving, he waited for something. He was not acting as she thought he would. He gave no witty remark, no hello, just an intense scrutiny.

  Ravil turned her head slightly, but kept her body stationary. She looked into his eyes and her heart skipped a beat. His green eyes met her red ones. He poured everything into that gaze and her limbs went weak. She swallowed hard; emotions previously kept under check flooded outwards with each beat of her heart. She had missed him and standing this close, the bond in her blood called to him. He was her pilot and he had returned. She wrapped her arms around him. “Rake, you’re back!”

  Rake responded instantly doing the same. He held her firmly, but gently. He wanted to tell her he missed her, that he was glad she was okay. He wanted to tell her how beautiful she looked; he wanted to ask her questions, about why she looked different, how she got there. He wanted to tell her thank you for the times she had saved him, and sorry for the times he had let her down. He wanted to tell her he had thought of her since he’d left, but all that came out was, “You have tits now?”

  Ravil blushed and spoke into his chest, “Hello to you too, Rake.”

  Rake bit his lip hard. What the hell had he said that for? Was he completely retarded? He touched her hair with one hand; the other held the small of her back. He inhaled and pressed into her. He shuddered and put his lips on her hair, kissing her forehead. He tilted her face up, his lips brushed across her cheek.

  Dead Lara spoke into his ear, “She’s fourteen remember.”

  Rake released Ravil and stepped back against the windows. He took a deep breath. Yeah, okay, now he remembered. He was sure he had been forgetting something important. He eyed her. “Well, look at you.” His eyes caught on her bare stomach, trailing up to her breasts. She didn’t look fourteen. He forced himself to look into her eyes. “Ravil.”

  “Rake.” Ravil leaned on the railing. “You’re better?” Her voice shook. She wanted him to touch her again. She squeezed her fingernails into her palms. It had been good, better than good. She’d never experienced anything like that before. Her body responded to his, her desires and his becoming intermingled, who started it she was unsure, but she didn’t care. Her skin flushed. Ravil put a smile on her face. “Right?”

  Rake nodded once. “All better, no more needles ever again.” His voice was uneven. Someone pounded on the glass behind him, but he paid them no attention. He fingered his leather collar. “So, uhm, how did you get here?”

  “Never left.” Ravil sat in the corner of the deck, she leaned back on the railing. Rake did the same. Their boots touched, both got a shock and pulled them apart. She put her hand on the floor between them and looked at him. “Oro didn’t take me. We stayed with Rat all day; he snuck me in to the party.”

  Rake put his hand near hers, nonchalantly. “Oh, that was nice of him.”

  “I thought so too.”

  They stared at each other, Ravil with confused longing, Rake with guilt-ridden yearning. He still could only see her, but the lights and sounds of the party were becoming louder as his conscience cut into his emotions. He took a deep breath and moved his hand towards hers. “How do you like it here at the house?”

  Her fingers crept towards his. “It’s very nice.”

  “Has everyone treated you well?”

  “Yes, Rake.”

  He nodded and leaned in. “I like what you’ve done with your hair.”

  “Thanks.”

  He struggled for something to say. He reached out to touch her hair then snatched his hand back. “Did Kat do that?”

  She shook her head. “No Tasanee did it. Uh, Rake—”

  “That was nice.” Rake struggled to control his breathing. He wanted to leap on her and tear her clothes off, his body wanted nothing else than to connect to hers, to be moving inside hers. At the same time, he felt disgusting, shameful, horrid, and vile. Dead Lara yelled these words into his ear without stop.

  Ravil smiled at him. “Rake, I missed you.”

  The pounding on the glass continued. Rake’s fingers brushed hers; he closed his eyes, unable to move his hand away. Pleasure locked his muscles and his groin ached pleasantly. He took a shaky breath; he had not been this aroused in a decade. He looked at his feet. “Yeah, me too.” He gulped. “I mean, I missed you too.” Had he forgotten how to speak? His tongue was heavy, his jaw locked. His mouth did not want to form words; he wanted to taste every inch of her skin.

  Ravil watched him sweat. “Rake? Are you okay?”

  Rake nodded. “Yeah, totally awesome. Never better.”

  Dead Lara leered. “Pig, cretin, foul, disgusting. Stop touching her! You’re getting off on this, you sick fuck! Your hard-on is showing! She won’t notice, because she doesn’t know what that is because she’s a child!”

  Ravil gave him a once over, not entirely believing him. She could tell he wanted something, that much she was able to sense through their link. “Do you have time to hang out and talk? I know it’s your homecoming party and all and you probably have better things to do…”

  “No, I don’t!” Rake shook his head. “Uhm, do you want to danc—” Dead Lara punched him in the throat. Rake coughed. “Have you been dancing?”

  “With Oro.”

  “He’s a good dancer.” Rake nodded. Anyone else, someone straight perhaps, and they would have found themselves in peril of a beating.

  Ravil nodded and tucked her knees to her chest, nervous. “Do you want to dance? With me?”

  Rake pulled his hand back and ran it through his hair. His body wanted nothing else, but Dead Lara told him that was the worst idea ever. “Uhm sure, right now?”

  Ravil eyed Danny smacking the glass. “Probably sooner rather than later. I might get sent away.”

  “No one is going to do that again!” Rake’s thoughts filled with violence. He took a calming breath. He needed to relax, no one was bothering them. He gazed at Ravil and found his eyes just as ensnared as the first time. He clenched his teeth; even the cravings for drugs had never been this bad. He had to get the hell away from her before he did something unforgivable. But that part of him was small and outweighed by his blood, his body, and his heart. He needed her.

  “So…did you want to dance?”

  “Uhm.” He cleared his throat. “Sure I guess, maybe in a minute?” He was afraid that if he moved, the move would be to get her in his arms and then through the dance floor. He pictured them leaving, going alone, being together, just them.

  Dead Lara sneered. “Then what, Rake? Where are you going to take her then? To your bedroom? She won’t want to fuck you, you know. Will you take her by force?” He shook his head, no; he was not going to do that. He glared at Dead Lara. He wasn’t that weak, was he?

  Ravil looked over his shoulder. Oro and Tasanee still blocked the doorway, but the other three stood on the other side of the glass. Danny held up a piece of paper that read in big letters: Get inside, the both of you, NOW. Ravil sighed. “Rake, I think Danny, Keto, and Kat are going to break the glass.”

  Rake whirled around in a crouch. He placed himself between her and the window. He glared through them, his lip curling up to show his teeth. A growl rose through his throat.

  Rake read Danny’s message and hissed in frustration. He would need to make his case for keeping her earlier than he thought. They obviously wanted her gone. He tried to stand, he couldn’t move. All the blood in his body was rushing to his heart and his dick, he made a face. That was just fucking great; he was having some kind of fuck stroke.

  Ravil moved to be beside him. She touched his shoulder. Rake ground his knuckles into the floor. The spot she touched burned pleasantly. She spoke into his ear, “Are you sure you’re okay?”

  Rake nodded and butted her head gently. He tried to get her face away from his, but only succeeded in rubbing his cheek against hers. He could feel her breath, her lips only inches away from his. His breath hitched, this was too much. Fuck the consequenc
es. He moved his lips towards hers, but she turned to look up at the glass. Danny pointed at the message and then at her.

  Ravil got to her feet and shook her head at them. She glared at Danny. They weren’t even doing anything wrong. Why could no one give them more than a few minutes alone? These Wasters were ridiculous. She scowled. “I wish we could go back to it being just you and I.”

  Rake pulled himself up the railing, trying to get closer to her. He breathed hard. He looked up to the glass and then at Ravil. “Really? Why?” His heart thudded, maybe she liked being around him, she didn’t want to go away. He wrapped his fingers around the metal railing, struggling to hold on. His legs didn’t want to work.

  She nodded slowly. “Yeah, Rake, I like you and I need you to—”

  “Oh God.” Rake sank back down to his knees. He fought not to say the exact same thing to her in response. He stared at his skirt of star charts, heavy, weighted leather to push certain boisterous parts down. He focused on getting turned off real fast. Please, possibly? He tried to think of anything but her naked on his bed and—He shook his head.

  She touched his shoulders; his anxiety leeched into her. “Something is wrong. Do you want me to leave, Rake? I can go.”

  Rake shook his head. “No! Don’t go! I’m fine, I think. Just stay.” He swallowed and looked up at her. With the moon behind her, she was illuminated, white as snow and shining like the stars in the sky. “Don’t leave me.”

  Her eyes shone red in the darkness. She held her hand out to him. “Do you need help up? Do you want to go somewhere else or back to your room to lie down?”

  Rake remembered the image of her from his dream. He frowned. “I...” Yes he did. He wanted to go with her, wherever she wanted to go, wherever she wanted to be that’s where he wanted to be too. He stared at her outstretched hand. He knew he could take it now and they could be gone in an instant, logic wasn’t playing into it, he just knew. They could be free, together.

  Dead Lara glared at him. “You sick fuck!” She scratched his face. “Leave her alone! She’s a child, you freak! Do not touch her that way, Rake! You don’t know the consequences of what you’re doing!”