Immortal Confessions

by Tara Fox Hall

  I went outside. The night was cold, but the wind had gone, and the stars were out. The corpses were where I’d left them, frozen solid. I picked them up and moved them into a stand of trees a few yards away. After, I listened, and heard animals moving nervously in the barn. Their uneasiness was likely because they were hungry. Most likely they had not been fed today, by the growling of their stomachs.

  * * * *

  I entered the small barn. There was a cow, a small pig, a small herd of goats, and a few chickens. There were two horses, though they were not quality animals. Alas, this was a poor farm: that was to be expected.

  I was happy to see there was one room that was being used as a tannery. There was a large pile of skins that had already been processed, the fur supple and thick. There were other skins that had been stretched, and some that were in process of being tanned. Likely, the man had been trapping all winter, planning to head to the nearest town to sell his wares in another few weeks.

  The skins would fetch a good price when a fur merchant journeyed into the rural market to buy them for a client in the city. But selling them direct to a clothier in the city would give us the greatest profit. We had our money here to start our life together, if I could learn enough on my own to finish the skins in transition, and tan a few more.

  * * * *

  I fed the animals, and brought the pig’s body back in with me, after drinking its blood out of Anna’s sight and dressing it. She took it from me when I came in, thanking me. As she prepared its flesh for dinner and storage, I told her what I’d discovered.

  “Can you trap, at night?”

  “I’m not sure,” I said. “I will have to try to discover his trap line, which may take a few nights. And this one is almost over.”

  “I will do it, as you sleep,” Ann said.

  I was taken aback. “Love, your place is here, it is my duty—”

  “Stuff your duty,” she said flatly. “We don’t know that these people will not have kin nearby or be missed, when they do not show up for church tomorrow morning.”

  It was Saturday already? Must be. I tried another tack. “Love, what if you are set upon by another bear, or a wolf? I saw skins of the latter in the stack in the barn.”

  “I can shoot a gun well enough,” she said staunchly. “And I will take one of the horses. Hopefully, the horse will know the trap line. In winter, the man would have needed it, unless he wanted to spend nights in the forest, leaving his young wife alone.”

  I was still guessing daughter, but didn’t say anything, as it was a moot point. I was impressed again with her mind, that she had thought of that, when I had not. I was a little irritable actually that she had, her being a woman. I told myself with a flash of pride that this intelligence and ability to plan was why I loved her, and had not loved anyone before her.

  “Agreed,” I said, nodding. “Please return as soon as you can. Take no chances.”

  “I will leave after sunrise,” she said. “I need to use the time now to inventory what is here. I know prices of woman’s clothing and men’s, and household things. There is not much we won’t need though, Dev.”

  “I know,” I said, getting to my feet. “There is some livestock also that we can use. I’ll go now and take care of the animals.” Mucking stalls...ugh. “At least I’ll have a ready supply of blood.”

  Anna looked ill, then nodded. “You are right. They would die without someone to care for them. It is more of a sin to not make use of them. I can also use the meat. There is not much food in the larder here.”

  I nodded. “I will begin to learn how to treat the skins, so they fetch the best price. If we work together, we can accomplish more.”

  “But it will be day,” Anna said in confusion. “How can you be outside in the day?”

  “So long as I am covered, and my skin is not exposed to sunlight, there will be no danger, Love.” I gave her a kiss to reassure her.

  She nodded, and we went about our duties.

  The break of day had me at least a passable skin-worker. The materials and processes were simple enough. I was encouraged that although the bear’s skin had been soaked by snow, and then dried again, it was not too late to save. That night I finished the skins that needed a final scraping, and stretched them, and spread a mixture of tanning ingredients on the skins that had dried already. I also took stock of what was in the large skin pile. There was fox, beaver, muskrat, wolf, and many raccoon. The pile was predominantly rabbit, though, and not as lucrative as I’d hoped.

  I went back to Anna, and crawled in bed beside her. She held me for a few moments, and then got up.

  “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

  I resisted the urge to ask her to come back. “Be careful,” I said, kissing her hand. “Take the bay horse, he looks in better condition. Any sign of danger, leave everything and run.”

  “I will,” she said, and gave me a smile that said she really wouldn’t. Then she was gone.

  I slept until noon, when a knock at the door woke me.

  * * * *

  I got up, and went to the door. By the heartbeats out there, there were at least two men, maybe a third.

  “Stefan?” a voice shouted. “Stefan! Heidi! We have your shoes!”

  “This door is splintered,” another voice said. “Maybe a bear attack?”

  “There are no claw marks,” the first voice said. “Likely brigands or deserters.”

  “Should we try the door?” the first voice said, afraid.

  “They are our neighbors. Of course we must,” the first voice said, disgusted. “Get your gun ready.”

  I very quietly unlocked the door, and stood behind it. Slowly, the latch lifted.

  A man came in, another following, looking warily around. They did not see me, watching and motionless, until I acted, slamming the door behind them, leaving us in darkness.

  One man fired, cursing loudly, his bullet missing me to go through the roof, making a pinhole of light appear. The other dropped his gun, and crouched down.

  I killed the brave one first, and then the coward, snapping their necks. I greedily drank from them both, until they were cold, dry husks.

  Sitting back, I realized something. I was warm again. More than that...I could remember.

  I remembered clearly the days of my youth, my coming of age, and my first woman. My father, my mother, Danial, my dog called Petey, and my first time with a virgin. I sighed with relief when I determined I’d acted correctly with Anna.

  I looked down at the dead men. It was their blood. It had been human blood that had done it. Something in the animal blood had not had enough of whatever it was I needed to fully revitalize me.

  I didn’t bother to wonder why. I had too much to do.

  I wrapped the cloak around myself, put on my long boots and gloves, and took the bodies outside, piling them with the others. The men had come in a covered wagon drawn by two horses, and it was piled with supplies of all kinds. There was rope, and bolts of cloth, and sacks of sugar, salt, and spices.

  This rolling shelter would be much more efficient than the open cart the farm had in the barn. We could make good time, taking turns driving. My intuition told me to act quickly. The only problem might be in convincing Anna it was time to leave.

  * * * *

  By dusk, I’d unhitched the wagon, fed and curried the two horses, and written an inventory of the wagon’s goods, after driving it into the barn out of daylight. I’d also piled it with the skins and the tanning supplies that were left. I’d taken care of the animals in the barn, too, even gathering some eggs so that Anna might make bread for herself. The money and guns of the dead men were also inside, safely stored.

  Just after dusk, Anna returned, exhausted and chilled. She didn’t say anything as I took the horse from her, and slowly staggered into the house. After quickly taking care of it and the one skin in her saddlebags, I headed after her, worried.

  Anna was sitting before the fire. By her stillness, she was either upset or angry.r />
  Better to get it over with. “Men came today,” I said plainly. “They are dead, Anna. We must leave here in a day or two, at the most. More will come, especially as the weather is finally improving.”

  The sun had melted most of the snow by nightfall. What remained was mostly in drifts under trees. In short, the corpse pile was not only thawed, it was also now revealed for all the world to see.

  “I know,” she whispered. “I saw their wheel trail. I was afraid for you, until I saw their bodies beside the others.”

  I felt like I should apologize, but I wasn’t sure what for—saving myself? So I said nothing.

  “I’m sorry,” she said, still whispering. “I let them go.”

  I went to her, as she was clearly distraught. “Who, Love?”

  “The animals in the traps,” she said, brushing at her face. She turned, tears in her eyes. “There was a fox, and a few rabbits. I let them all go, save one that was dead. I skinned that one. He’s in the saddlebag.”

  “I found him, Love. Were you bitten?”

  “Yes,” she said, embarrassed. “The rabbits, they were easy to free, as the traps were not snares, but little wooden cages. But the fox was in a leg hold trap, Dev. He bit me, even as I tried to help him—”

  “Shh. Show me.”

  She gave her hand. I rolled up the sleeve to see a deep bite, oozing blood in places, and also smelling of the first stages of infection.

  I kissed her hand, once more giving her my blood in my kiss. When I let go of her hand, it was again whole. I studied her carefully, but she was unchanged. Her eyes were no brighter, and her teeth were not fanged. Relief flooded me.

  “What is it?” she asked curiously.

  “Nothing,” I said soothingly. “Did you free him, the fox?”

  “Yes,” she said tearfully. “I’m sorry; I know we could’ve used the money—”

  “Shh,” I said, embracing her, and making her look up at me. “We have enough with what those men brought today. As it is, we will have to leave some things here, as there is too much to take now, even having the wagon.” I paused. “Did you disable the traps?”

  “I broke them all, or removed the pins,” she said, sounding proud of herself.

  “Good,” I said. “We do not want any animal dying needlessly.”

  “Be with me?” she said hesitantly.

  I’d thought she was never going to ask. I was never so happy to be wrong.

  * * * *

  That next dusk, we left. The smaller animals in the barn we had killed, though Anna hadn’t wanted to. However, there was no one to care for them, and leaving them to starve or be eaten by forest predators was not acceptable to me. Besides, I needed the blood. The cow we did tie behind the wagon with the extra horses, figuring to sell it on the way. All the meat went into the wagon, along with everything from the house we could use; mostly tools, food, and weapons.

  We left most of the furniture and clothes, as they were of poor quality anyway. I piled the human bodies inside the house, and then set it alight. Smoke was just wafting up as we drove out of sight.

  We made it a fair distance in just a week. Having the two spare horses helped, as I could switch them in to pull the wagon after an eight hour stretch. Anna slept at night while I drove, and she drove by day as I slept. We made camp and luckily encountered no one.

  We were able to trade in a town market by the middle of that week, getting rid of the excess weapons, shoes, and foodstuffs, along with the cow. Anna kept the cloth, saying it was of decent quality and she could use it. That she did, sewing herself a simple dress by the end of that first week. The dead woman’s clothes hadn’t fit her well, as she’d been a peasant, and mostly bones, where Anna was curvaceous and thoroughly sexy. Anna had seemed annoyed about that, though I wasn’t sure why. But I was wise enough to pretend I didn’t notice.

  We arrived finally in Fontainebleau about a week later. It was there I met my first vampire.

  Chapter Five

  That major event didn’t happen until Anna and I had been in Fontainebleau a week or two.

  By then, she and I had sold our furs to a clothing designer, save the bearskin, which I wished to keep for sentimental value. The tannery supplies and the rest of the wares, including the two extra horses, had been dispensed with at the local market inside the city. We had enough when we finished to put a down payment on a tiny house, and for me to buy Anna a simple ring. Though it was true she wasn’t my wife, she’d be safer if she were thought to be. I introduced her to any humans that met us after as my wife, and acted as though she was. Anna was more than a little irritated at this, as it wasn’t true, but she seemed to relax into the role, agreeing that she wanted to wait for a proper wedding dress before taking her vow to me.

  We’d escaped together and we’d reached the city. Now my grand plan abruptly fell apart.

  Sure, Fontainebleau had opportunities for men who were unscrupulous, as I was. Corruption was everywhere in the aftermath of the revolution and war, and there was money to be made, just as there is in modern times. However, the old adage was also true: what you knew counted far less than whom you knew. I was not a nobleman and I knew no one with influence. Furthermore, I’d stuck to rural areas for years plying my trade as a bard, where the music I knew how to play and sing was still enjoyed. Here that was not the case. A new instrument cost a small fortune, not to mention that the current design was unfamiliar. My good looks were also not much help, as comely men were abundant here.

  Blood was also a problem. I hadn’t thought it would be, sure that beggars and drunkards would be easy to find and dispense with. But I was unused to city life, to the sheer teeming masses of people that now surrounded me. Adding to the trouble, there had recently been riots in the city, along with a rash of murders. Police or soldiers seemed to be everywhere, and inadvertently thwarted more than one attempt to feed. Worse, there was no animal blood to be had here unless you paid for it.

  I was finally able to subdue and drink from one man after slitting his throat, but I was discovered with the corpse before I took more than a few swallows, the prostitute’s scream instantly bringing the night watchman. Evading him and his brethren and returning to Anna took the better part of the night.

  Holding her that dawn as she slept, I felt trapped and hopeless. I’d applied at all the neighboring businesses for night work, even just for the labor jobs, and been turned down. I could steal, of course, but I could not bring myself to rob men for their money and blood, especially when I would need to do it so often I was sure to be caught within a fortnight.

  Anna had been right; it was impossible for me to find a job that I could work at to support her without risking becoming “powder.” But there was no money to begin a business, either; almost all of our meager stash was gone.

  I kissed her forehead gently, blinking back tears. I could see no way forward to sustaining myself, much less Anna, in this wretched place. Worse, we could not afford to leave. I had to protect her at all costs. I hugged her to me, telling myself there was a way; I just had to find it.

  I was downing a rat in dejected anger in some dirty alley the following night when a hand of providence slapped me up the side of my head.

  “Enjoy the furry vintages, do you?” a lilting voice said from behind me.

  I hadn’t heard anyone approach. I turned curiously to see a man eyeing me speculatively. He was shorter than I was and finely dressed, almost to the point of being ostentatious. His eyes were golden in color, almost like mine, but so light as to be almost like cream. His hair was slightly darker than mine, more a light brown than true blond.

  “No,” I said, throwing down the rat disdainfully. “I do not. But I am too tired to chase whores or drunkards for their blood tonight.”

  “Why would you want to?” the man said, grimacing in distaste. “I don’t know how you could stomach it if you succeeded in catching them. Their blood always tastes of disease.”

  “Who are you?” I said, tired of his banter
. “What do you want of me?”

  “I was just passing through this section of town and thought I smelled another of my kind,” he said. “I was surprised, as I didn’t think any vampire lived in the poor section. Yet here you are.”

  I bared my fangs at him a fraction. “So you found me. What do you want?”

  “Nothing,” he said pleasantly, coming closer. “But maybe you can be of use to me.”

  I was thinking myself of how he could be of use to me. “Yes?”

  “I see we look alike,” he said. “You no doubt see it, too. It would be useful for me to have someone whom I knew that could pass themselves off as me.”

  “Are you a prince, that you need a pauper?” I said sarcastically.

  The man looked at me in surprise, and then laughed. “No. Would that I had time for such playing! However, I do have enemies, ones that try on occasion to kill me. Yet if you were there, to muddy the waters—”

  He wanted his attackers to hurt me instead of him. I understood the uses of a double. My father had used it enough, especially when he’d needed to bed a married woman who was of his own class, and pretend he had been nowhere near her sleeping chamber. “What are you offering?”

  “What do you need?” the man spread his elegant gloved hands. “Shelter? Lovers? Blood? Money?”

  “All of those, but primarily the last,” I thought, deciding to keep Anna to myself. “I came to this city from the country to try to better my lot. But I cannot find the means to support myself here. There are no jobs to be had.”

  “What is your name?”

  “Devlin...Merean.” Better to be thought Southern, if I could pass as one.

  “I am Quentin Giere, and I will employ you,” he said eagerly. “Come with me now. We will get some refreshment, and then discuss terms.”

  I followed him. Although I was nervous, I felt too as though destiny was again taking hold of me.

  We walked to the better section of the city. Soon after, he walked to an unnamed shop, and knocked. A woman answered, and took his name. A moment later, he followed her in, me at his heels.