‘Erm.’
Charley glanced up to see Owen and Sophie standing up.
‘We’re just going to get a drink from the kitchen,’ Sophie managed to say before Owen dragged her away by the hand.
Once they’d gone out of the room, Connor kissed her again and she relaxed a little. It was one thing to want to share details with Sophie but she didn’t want to do anything at all in front of her. The feelings jiggling around inside her felt so good, like fizzy sweets exploding inside her tummy. She kissed Connor back, using her tongue to flirt with his now, while she ran her fingers through his hair. Without warning, they lost balance and rolled onto the floor with a thud.
‘Ow,’ they both said in unison before laughing. Then the kissing began again. For a few minutes, it was fine but with more room to manoeuvre, Charley felt Connor’s hand beneath her rib cage. It lightly brushed her breast before falling on it and squeezing roughly. Trust her to put on a dress, she cursed inwardly, pushing his hand away. Now he wouldn’t be able to get inside it without going all the way up. It didn’t deter Connor. She felt his hand move down over her dress, trying to find the hem. He slid his hand up her leg, further, further, not stopping with his lips on hers for a second. She froze for a moment when he reached the side of her knickers. But his hand continued upwards, up and over her ribs to rest on her breast. She gasped as he touched it, gently at first, then a little too roughly. She wanted to tell him it wasn’t an orange but he seemed oblivious to her.
And then she felt it, his thing hard against her leg. She pulled away for a moment. After all the things she’d discussed with Sophie about how far they were both willing to go, when it came to the crunch she just wasn’t sure.
‘What’s up?’ asked Connor abruptly.
‘Nothing.’ Charley shook her head quickly. ‘I just thought I heard something.’
‘It’s probably those two in the kitchen.’
Connor kissed her again. His hand was still inside her dress, but she moved it down as he squashed her breast again. But then his hand moved lower and she realised he’d taken it as a sign that he could touch her. His fingers found the front of her knickers and slid underneath the material. She froze again, this time out of curiosity, as he tucked his hand in and moulded it around her. After all the vodka she’d drunk, she felt slightly light-headed. Warm feelings were flooding her body, things she’d never experienced before. It felt really good as he moved his hand back and forth over her…
She sat upright and pushed his hand away. ‘What the hell are you doing?’
‘Well, you’ve never had that done to you, from what I hear,’ Connor replied shortly.
‘What – what do you mean?’ Charley could hardly speak.
‘After what Aaron said, I know this is our first date but I thought if I got you off, you’d do the same to me.’
Charley pushed Connor away, stood up and straightened her dress. She could see herself through the mirror above the fireplace. Her face was flushed, her neck too. Her eyes shone underneath far too much makeup. But inside, those first feelings of passion had disappeared entirely.
‘You came for a bet, didn’t you?’ she said quietly.
‘No, I didn’t.’ Connor lay back on the carpet with a sigh. ‘I do like you, Charley. But I did want to see if the rumour was true.’
‘And I suppose you’re going to make nasty things up about me too and spread them all around the school, aren’t you?’
When Connor shrugged, Charley wished she had the nerve to kick him where it would hurt him the most.
‘There’s nothing to tell anyway.’ Charley was close to tears now. ‘I want you to go.’
‘But we’ve only just started.’ Connor grabbed her hand and tried to pull her down again. She snatched it away sharply. ‘No. Sophie! Sophie, where are you?’
A moment later, Sophie came rushing in to the room. She was tucking in her T-shirt, lipstick smeared all over her face. Owen followed close on her heel, fastening the buckle to his belt.
‘What’s up?’ asked Sophie.
Charley didn’t know what to say now that Sophie had come in to help her. But Connor was done. He got up from the floor.
‘Don’t worry, I’m going,’ he said. ‘No point wasting time on a dick tease like you, anyway.’
Charley waited for them to leave before bursting into tears.
‘What happened?’ asked Sophie. ‘Did he push you too far?’
Charley opened her mouth but no words came out. She was unable to explain. Why had she stopped him? Why had she been so frightened? She couldn’t understand it. She’d wanted Connor to touch her, feel her up. Why couldn’t she let herself go?
She looked sheepishly at Sophie. ‘Did I ruin things for you, too?’
Sophie sat beside her and gave her a hug. ‘Course not. There’ll be plenty of other opportunities. He had a big willy though.’
Charley laughed. She couldn’t help it.
Sophie laughed too. ‘To be honest, I was a bit scared that if he tried to put it in, he’d split me in two. So I’m glad you shouted when you did.’
Charley laughed at this even more. She grabbed the bottle of vodka, pleased to see it was half full.
‘Let’s get wasted,’ she said, mirroring her mother’s words without knowing.
Sophie grinned and turned the volume up on the television. ‘Ooh, he’s got a sexy arse.’ She pointed at the young lad on the music video.
It was enough to make them roll around with laughter again.
Chapter Ten
Sam opened her eyes to Sunday morning with a heavy heart but a very clear head. She’d been trying to ring Reece all day yesterday but with no answer from him, had gone to bed quite early the night before. It had taken her ages to get to sleep and then she had woken up numerous times before catnapping and waking for good at six a.m. It had given her ample time to think things through and now she realised that Reece turning up unannounced on Friday evening might have been the best thing that could happen to them.
Sam loved Reece but wasn’t sure she was in love with him any more. Even though a part of her was relieved that she wasn’t going to break his heart by ending the marriage, it didn’t make her feel any better knowing that Reece probably felt the same too. They’d been together since forever. Sam couldn’t help thinking that if they’d managed to have a child, maybe things would have been more solid. Ideally, they would have been a family now but after trying to conceive for five years, they’d decided to let nature take its course. Unfortunately, nature never had and as well as having different interests, the lack of children had made them grow apart rather than bring them closer together. And that’s why, for her, it was better for Reece to work away than to be here all the time, constantly reminding her of what they should have by now.
Recently, she’d started looking at children in that way – in the ticking biological clock kind of way. She’d smile at babies in supermarkets and feel herself being pulled towards the rows of tiny clothes when she went shopping in Hedworth. Thirty-four was still youngish to have a child nowadays, so she knew she still had time, but Sam desperately wanted to become a mum, and soon. And although Louise’s life had been hard as a single parent, it had hurt Sam to watch her bring up Charley, envying her having a daughter of her own.
Secretly she’d wanted to broach the subject of adoption, see what Reece’s reaction would be. But as they grew further and further apart, it just hadn’t seemed appropriate. Yet another weekend had gone, and then another, and another. And now she doubted if he’d ever come back, apart from one last time to collect his belongings, maybe tie up loose ends. Reece came home to hand her his keys on Friday. If Dan hadn’t been there to put the nail in the coffin, she could have fought for him and he might have been willing to try again. But now it was too late.
She sat up in bed and hugged her knees, deciding that she wasn’t going to give up on Reece. They had been together for sixteen years; he was worth fighting for. She’d ring him again later to see if h
e’d answer this time. She had to try and make him see that she hadn’t cheated on him. That she’d stopped things from going too far with Dan, because it was Reece that she loved. Their marriage couldn’t be over just like that. Could it?
‘What a mess,’ she said aloud for the umpteenth time that weekend.
Louise woke up at ten thirty. Her head felt like someone was repeatedly hitting it with a brick, her mouth dry and smelling nasty. She looked around the room, her clothes and shoes thrown anywhere as she’d removed them quickly to climb into bed, to stop the room from spinning.
Like a good girl, she’d stayed at the pub with Matt and his friends until eleven as planned and then he’d insisted on walking home with her. She recalled messing around with him – at one stage she’d pushed him into someone’s hedgerow, laughing loudly as he’d bounced back at her. She remembered singing with him, and checking on Charley once she was home, finding Sophie top to toe in the bed next to her.
After showering, she went downstairs. Charley and Sophie were sitting at the kitchen table, both still in their pyjamas. Charley looked a little green, her head resting in her hands.
‘You look like I feel,’ Louise said to Charley, after flicking on the kettle. ‘What’s wrong?’
‘I’ve got a terrible headache.’ Charley winced as she’d moved her head slightly.
‘Oh, dear. You’re not coming down with something?’ Louise reached over and placed a hand on Charley’s forehead. ‘You’re not hot.’ She sniffed, then drew her head back as she smelt a familiar smell coming from the two girls. ‘Have you been drinking?’
‘We had a little bit last night,’ said Charley.
Louise sniffed again. ‘What did you have? And where did you get the money from?’
‘I bought it, Louise,’ said Sophie, hoping to take the blame for Charley. ‘My mum gave me some money and I – I bought a bottle of vodka.’
‘Vodka?’ Louise’s face was like thunder as she stared at Charley.
‘I’m nearly sixteen!’ Charley retorted.
‘You’re still a child! And you’ll do as you’re told in my house.’
‘It’s not your house. It belongs to the bank until you’ve paid off your mortgage.’
‘Don’t be cheeky – and stop trying to change the subject. Have you any idea how much trouble I would be in if you were caught with alcohol underage?’
‘Whatever.’ Charley rested her head on the table for a moment.
‘Was there anyone else here with you, last night?’
‘No!’ Charley sat upright so quickly that she felt the room start to spin.
Louise pointed a finger close to her daughter’s face. ‘If I hear from any of the neighbours that you had boys around, Charley Pellington, I’m going to –’
‘We didn’t have anyone around!’ Charley fibbed then looked to her friend for support. ‘Did we, Sophie?’
‘No, Louise, we didn’t.’ Sophie fibbed too. But it had the advantage of calming Louise down.
‘Booze and boys at your age just don’t mix,’ Louise addressed them both. ‘I should know.’
‘Yes, you should know.’ Charley’s tone was snide.
Louise went to speak but chose to pause for a minute. ‘You might think I’m being mean watching out for you like this,’ she said eventually, ‘but I’m not. I don’t want you making the same mistakes that I did.’
‘Like having me,’ said Charley.
‘No!’ Louise sighed in exasperation. ‘You know I didn’t mean it like that.’
‘Yes, you did!’ she snapped. ‘Just because you got pregnant when you were young doesn’t mean that I’m going to. It’s not the law.’
As Louise stood with her mouth open, Sophie, sensing the tension in the air, jumped up. ‘I think I’d better be off,’ she said. ‘I’ll see you later, Charl.’
Charley nodded and grimaced again. Her head. She hated vodka more than she hated Connor Blackstock right now. This morning, she’d woken up to three text messages asking if it was true he got her off last night.
Louise finished making her coffee, slid the one she’d made for Charley across the table and sat down in the chair that Sophie had just vacated.
‘That was a bit below the belt, don’t you think?’ she said. When Charley said nothing, she continued. ‘I only say these things because I care.’
‘Yeah, right.’
‘I want you to see a bit of life before you settle down. I want you to do well at school and explore the world, see where the day takes you. I don’t want you to be stuck in Hedworth like me.’
Charley started to speak but Louise went on. ‘You may think you have it hard but believe me, life gets harder. Mistakes made now will haunt you forever.’
‘I had a drink, Mum, not a baby like you.’
Louise slapped the palm of her hand on the table. ‘I had a drink and look where it got me.’
Charley’s eyes filled with tears. ‘It got you me, remember. All the times you talk about lost chances, you make me feel like it’s my fault.’
‘No, Charl. I didn’t mean—’
Charley prodded herself in the chest. ‘I was the mistake you made. How do you think that makes me feel when you go on all the time about you never having any chances in life? That you never made it any further than living in a tiny terraced house? It makes me feel guilty, especially as you’ve never told me who my father is, denying me the chance to get to know him. I have a right to know who he is but you—’
Louise leaned across to touch her hand but Charley pulled it away abruptly. She stood up, scraping the chair across the floor. ‘I hate you. You’re so selfish I’m surprised anyone would want to spend time with you. No wonder you’re lonely.’
‘I’m not lonely!’
‘Yes, you are. I hear about you in the nightclub. Damien Masters goes to my school – he tells me what you get up to with his dad because you can’t get a man of your own. It’s embarrassing, Mum, and hurtful when they call you a slapper and say that I take after you. It’s not fair.’
Louise paled. Charley knew about Rob Masters and was turning the tables, telling her off now. How did that happen?
‘Now listen here, young lady,’ she said, trying to exert her authority. ‘What I do in my private life is up to me.’
‘And what I do in mine is up to me! You don’t have any right to tell me off. I’m actually better behaved than you, and you should give me credit for that.’
Louise looked up as Charley stormed out of the room. She jumped as the kitchen door banged shut, closed her ears to the thunder of feet going up the stairs.
‘That conversation went well, Louise,’ she spoke to an empty room before raising her mug into the air in a silent salute. Yet what Charley had said brought tears to her eyes. Her daughter was getting teased for her sluttish ways, for everything she did at the weekend, when all Louise set out to do was forget about her miserable life and have a bit of fun.
But, every day, Charley was taking in everything that she did. Louise wasn’t settting a good example. Calling her a mistake was wrong, for starters. She wasn’t a mistake, nor a burden, but sometimes she wished Charley had come later in life, when she had been settled with the right man, and had been more mature about motherhood.
Louise wouldn’t swap her daughter for the world. Maybe she needed to show her that.
Charley ran upstairs and threw herself onto her bed. Sometimes she hated her mum so much that she couldn’t find the right words to express herself. What was it with her? She got a little bit tipsy on vodka and Mum thought she could lecture her, when she came home drunk EVERY weekend. Charley wished Louise was like normal mothers, who take their daughters out shopping or for coffee – or even to the cinema. When was the last time they went anywhere together? She sat and thought about it but couldn’t remember.
And now she had to put up with all this rubbish about Connor too. Charley hoped she wasn’t going to get it in the neck at school tomorrow. She couldn’t believe he’d start another rumo
ur. She’d had enough with the one last week.
She sat up, and stared at herself in the mirror on her dressing table. What was wrong with her? Why wouldn’t she let a boy touch her? Her mother certainly didn’t have that problem. Why was Charley such a prude? Was it because she thought more of herself than her mum did? She thought she could do it but when it came down to it, she was scared. What would happen if she got pregnant like her mum did?
She was right about one thing, though. Charley didn’t want to have a baby tying her down. As soon as she was old enough, she was leaving Hedworth and going to London. She’d get a job on a magazine, become a writer. She’d make something of herself, even if her mum hadn’t.
A message pinged in on her phone. It was from Alex.
AP: How goes it, C?
CP: Crap as usual. I hate my mother.
AL: I hate my dad too. Got a bollocking for not doing my chores again. What are you doing today?
CP: Not sure. Might hang around the shops with Sophie. You?
AL: Not much to do here either. Wish I could come and see you. We could hang out together.
CP: Me too. I wish you weren’t so far away.
Charley sighed. She did too. She wished she could see Alex, chat to him face to face. Maybe he would understand how she was feeling. Lonely, abandoned, hurt. Why was life so cruel?
After what happened with Dan, Sam hadn’t expected to hear from Reece until some time had elapsed and he could think straight. She’d left another message on his phone but didn’t hold out much hope of a reply. So it shocked her when, at two thirty, she received a text message to say that he was on his way over to see her.
She opened the door to him, feeling nervous, not knowing what to expect. From the bags under his eyes, he looked like he’d had no sleep either. He entered, and paced the hallway until she’d closed the door. They stood in silence, neither of them knowing what to say.
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