Charley knew then how wrong she’d been. Matt had wanted to get this mess sorted out with her as soon as he could. How could she have doubted him?
‘Shall I run to the shop and get us some goodies?’ she suggested.
Matt nodded. ‘It’s a deal.’ He held out his hand and she shook it. Then he gave her a hug. ‘I’d never do anything to hurt you. I love you like you were my own daughter.’
Charley felt a lump in her throat. One day she hoped to find someone as lovely as Matt. But more importantly, she could clearly see that Matt loved her mum dearly.
She just wished her mum would see that she had someone special right underneath her nose.
Louise had been out for two hours, yet she was still sober. She’d gone into Hedworth to meet up with Melissa from work but couldn’t relax into the night. For the first time in ages, she wanted to be at home. She wished she was sitting on the settee with Charley and Matt eating pizza and sharing a bottle of something chilled. She glanced at her watch. It was too early to admit defeat.
Melissa had spotted someone she knew as soon as they’d got to this particular pub and had been off once they’d bought drinks. It was someone Louise vaguely recognised but couldn’t be bothered to go and chat to. She glanced around the bar, its clientele of mixed ages. In front of her were two women and two men out together as couples. To her right, two teenagers getting to know each other just a bit too much, considering they were out in public. To her left were a couple in their mid-forties laughing about something or other. She sighed.
Everyone seemed to be with someone.
For as long as she’d been going out in the pubs and clubs around Hedworth, Saturday nights had been known as couples’ night. Friday nights were nights out with friends, so it never seemed as obvious that she was lonely. But Saturdays, when it was imperative to have a man or risk feeling out of place, Louise felt her loneliness. What did she have to do to find a decent man?
Tears welled in her eyes as she caught a glimpse of Melissa. It looked like she was exchanging phone numbers with the guy now.
And what did she have to look forward to? It would just be another boring week, working on the market stall and going home to sit on her own while Charley stayed in her room and chatted to her friends online. Louise would love to have someone show a bit of interest in her. She wasn’t bad-looking for her age. She didn’t dress slutty – well, not too obviously anyway. She was clean and tidy, and so was the house. She worked hard for what she had and had a good sense of humour.
She laughed inwardly at her thoughts. It sounded as if she was reading a profile on a dating site.
Melissa rejoined her after a few more minutes, a huge grin plastered on her face. ‘That was Simon,’ she shouted above the background noise. ‘He’s going to call me in the week and arrange a night we can meet.’
‘How flipping wonderful,’ Louise shouted back sarcastically.
‘WHAT? I can’t hear YOU!’
‘I said, that’s great.’ As Melissa was pacified with this answer, Louise decided she’d had enough and called it a night.
Charley was asleep on the sofa when she arrived home just before eleven. Matt was watching a football match. He indicated his surprise with raised eyebrows.
‘I know, I know.’ Louise sighed. ‘I must be getting old. I wanted to come home.’
‘Do you have a thermometer?’ Matt gasped comically. ‘I think you must be coming down with something.’
Louise grinned. ‘I’m making a cuppa. Want one?’
‘Sure. Although I think you might need something stronger … I have something to tell you.’
‘Oh, that doesn’t sound good.’
Matt followed Louise into the kitchen so as not to wake Charley.
‘Let me guess.’ She grinned. ‘You’ve had a call from Lorraine and she’s pregnant so you’re stuck with her.’ But then she turned away abruptly. Although she made a joke of it, inside she prayed it wasn’t true. She didn’t know what she’d do without Matt popping in as much as he did, plus helping her out with Charley, being there whenever she needed him.
‘It isn’t me who got someone pregnant,’ said Matt. ‘It’s Ryan.’
Louise turned back quickly. ‘What!’
‘Look, I shouldn’t be telling you but Charley overheard us talking. It’s why she’s been funny with me.’ He sighed. ‘It’s Jess who Ryan has knocked up.’
Louise covered her mouth with her hand.
‘That’s not the worst of it. Sarah knows about the affair too.’
Chapter Twenty
‘You will never guess what I heard yesterday,’ Louise said to Sam the minute she got into her car the next morning. ‘I was going to text you, then I thought I’d ring you, but it’s not my secret to tell and—’
‘You mean you’ve actually kept a secret?’ Sam sniggered. ‘For a whole twenty-four hours?’
‘Yes. Don’t sound so surprised.’
‘Well, you certainly didn’t keep the one about the wedding to yourself!’
‘I didn’t blurt that out on purpose!’ Louise leaned in close to Sam, ignoring her tone. She was dying to tell someone what she knew. ‘Okay then, if you must know. That Jess has been sleeping with our Ryan and now she’s pregnant.’
Sam was about to pull away from the kerb. She put a foot on the brake and turned back to Louise.
‘What? I mean, are you sure?’
‘Matt told me. Jess told him and Ryan.’
‘Wow, I’m surprised you kept it to yourself at all, the way you revel in watching other people’s downfalls.’
‘That’s really mean, Sam.’ Louise looked hurt.
‘It was a joke!’
‘I may not be the best at keeping a man or holding down a relationship but I’d never harm anyone else’s. I know how much that would hurt Sarah, especially as this isn’t the first time. And I didn’t say anything when you were having a fling with Dan Wilshaw.’
‘That’s not the same thing.’
‘It’s exactly the same thing. You were sleeping with Dan—’
‘I was not sleeping with Dan!’
‘—just like Ryan was shagging Jess. It is exactly the same. You were both cheating on other people. You’re as bad as each other.’
‘It’s not ...’ Sam’s words tailed off because she knew Louise was right. How could she pass judgment on Ryan when she had behaved the same way herself? Just because she couldn’t go through with the final act didn’t mean that she hadn’t had the intention of sleeping with another man. And was that the real reason she was being so nasty to Louise – because she felt so disgusted with herself?
‘Oh, Louise.’ She started to cry. ‘I – I don’t think things are working out as I wanted them to.’
The bickering forgotten, Louise pulled Sam awkwardly across the car and held her while she cried.
Jeez, what was happening to them all lately, she thought? They used to all be friends. Now they were all falling out. Ryan and Matt, Sam and Reece, Charley and Sophie. Thank goodness she and Sam never let an argument fester. That Jess had a lot to answer for.
And, after seeing how upset Sam was, she couldn’t risk her sister-in-law, Sarah, getting hurt too. Louise would bide her time but she would tackle Jess and tell her to back off her brother.
On the stall, Nicci was a happy girl. She couldn’t believe everyone around her would do all that for her and Jay. And although she loved the idea of a secret wedding – once Sam had got over the fact that Louise had let slip their plans – she also cherished the fact that she could now join in with the excitement.
‘I’m getting married in four weeks, can you believe that?’ she said again, with a contented sigh. ‘I never thought it would happen. Oh, it’s going to be so magical!’
‘It would be if it wasn’t April Fool’s Day,’ said Louise.
Nicci nudged her. She quite liked the idea of getting married on April 1st. It would be something to tell the grandchildren about. She grinned: blimey, she was even think
ing of grandchildren!
‘Can I help it if I want to get married on a Sunday and the only one available is that date?’ she said. ‘I’m so glad that our registry office opens every day now.’
‘I think it’s quite good, actually.’ Louise nodded. ‘You’re both fools anyway.’
‘Oh, ha ha.’ Nicci nudged her sister.
Sam smiled. Last night, they’d had a girlie get together and discussed where they were at with the arrangements. Nicci was blown away with the organising. So too with the generosity of the stall holders, most of whom she’d grown up beside.
‘Everyone loves a wedding, don’t they?’ Nicci sighed contentedly again.
Sam rolled her eyes at Louise. Even though she was looking forward to Nicci and Jay’s, weddings were the furthest thing from her mind at the moment.
Having now had time to think things through, Jess had made her mind up about what to do next. Tears welled in her eyes as she pressed a hand to her stomach, feeling the delicate bulge, knowing that it would soon be visible to everyone else, wondering what people would say when she was the talk of the market. Apart from Ryan and Matt, she hadn’t told anyone about the baby yet.
At lunchtime, while she was in the stock room, she texted Ryan, letting him know where she was. When he didn’t appear in five minutes, she rang him.
‘I’m waiting for you in—’
‘Yeah, I know. I’ll be there.’ The phone went dead.
Jess hugged herself against the cold of the room. It was the first week in March and although it was fairly mild outside, sometimes the stock room could be as cold as the middle of winter. She sat down on a pile of boxes and waited.
A few minutes passed before the door opened. She looked up to see Ryan approaching.
‘What do you want?’ His tone was sharp.
‘You,’ Jess said quietly. ‘It wasn’t long ago that I gave you a blowjob behind these boxes. Or have you forgotten that?’
‘I haven’t forgotten.’ Ryan was silenced for now.
Jess took a step towards him and pushed him out of sight behind the boxes. ‘Good. Because I didn’t want you to come to the stock room to talk.’ She pushed him back some more. ‘I wanted to be somewhere that no one can see us. Somewhere we can be private. Do things in private, if you catch my meaning.’
Ryan’s back was against the wall now. Jess placed a hand on his crotch and leaned forward to kiss him. He groaned as her tongue searched the inside of his mouth, his hands moving to clasp her breast. She left it there for a moment, then pushed him away roughly.
‘Just as I’d suspected,’ she said, wiping her mouth as if in disgust.
Ryan looked baffled.
‘You’re more of a slapper than me, Ryan Pellington.’ Jess prodded him in the chest sharply. ‘You only think of yourself. I heard you the other night, talking to Matt. “Everyone knows Jess is a dick tease,” you said. “I reckon she’s trying to trap me,” you said.’
Ryan stood motionless, appearing to have lost the ability to string a sentence together.
‘I was ... I didn’t …’
She held up a hand. ‘But you were right about one thing.’ Jess paused and with a sigh continued. ‘The baby isn’t yours.’
‘If you’d only just listen to me … I— what?’
‘This little squirt.’ Jess placed her hand protectively over her bump. ‘This is my mistake.’
‘But why did you tell me that it was mine?’
‘Because I am a selfish bitch, and I could see you were easy to manipulate.’
‘You – you –’
‘Lost for words?’ Jess laughed snidely. ‘I thought you wanted to finish things with me. That’s what you told Matt. That I was just a sleep around.’
For a moment, Ryan was quiet. Then he glared at Jess with such venom that tears pricked her eyes.
‘As much as I’m glad to be out of this situation and as much as I am equally to blame,’ he said, ‘that is still some fucking low trick to play.’
‘I know.’ Jess fought to hold in the tears as she nodded slightly. ‘That’s why I have to tell you. I want to finish this mess and walk away with my head held high. What I did was wrong but what we did was wrong too. You’re so lucky to have what you have. Go back to your wife,’ she pointed to his crotch, ‘keep that in your pants and just – just be grateful for what you have before you screw it up completely.’
‘I wish I’d never met you.’ Ryan pushed past her and out of the stock room.
Jess covered her hand with her mouth and squeezed shut her eyes. But it didn’t stop the tears from falling when she realised she was on her own again. What was it with her? It was one thing for her to choose the wrong men but to pull a trick like that, when there was no purpose except to make trouble for Ryan? Could she really blame that on hormones?
One thing was certain. Jess knew she needed to sort herself out. She owed her baby that much.
At the end of the day, Louise watched as Jess closed up the sweet stall. Since she’d started to work there, Jess always stayed behind for the last couple of hours of the day, allowing Malcolm to finish early or catch up on his paperwork in the café. Or so they’d all thought. It was obvious now that she’d been hanging around waiting for Ryan so they could sneak off for a secret rendezvous.
Louise couldn’t contain herself a minute longer. ‘Oi!’ she shouted to Jess. ‘I want a word with you, Miss can’t-keep-her-knickers-on!’
Jess cursed inwardly as Louise came towards her. Still upset by her conversation with Ryan earlier, she’d tried to keep her emotions in check, at least until she got home and she could cry in private. Jess hated anyone to see her upset.
‘Leave me alone,’ Jess said, keeping her back to her. ‘It’s nothing to do with you.’
Louise grabbed hold of her shoulder and twirled her around. ‘It has everything to do with me,’ she said. ‘I know you’re pregnant and I know that you’re trying to pass it off as Ryan’s, but it can’t be.’
‘And why’s that?’ Jess tried to look bored, but inwardly she was shocked that Louise had found out.
‘I’ve always been good at maths, funnily enough. That bump.’ She pointed to Jess’s stomach. ‘How long is it is since you’ve been back? Unless you’ve been eating like a horse, that’s more like four months gone than a few weeks.’
‘How would you know?’
‘Dur – I have a daughter, remember?’
‘Oh, I remember.’ Jess realised that she could use this to her advantage. ‘But no one knows who her father is, right?’
‘That’s none of your business!’
‘And this is none of yours. So keep your nose out.’
‘Why, you little—’ Louise’s hand went up to strike Jess but just in the nick of time, Sam, who had followed her over when she heard raised voices, stopped her. She held onto her hand in mid-air.
‘That’s enough, you two. You’re not kids anymore.’
‘She acts like one,’ cried Louise. ‘She’s nothing but a slag.’
‘Takes one to know one,’ Jess spat back at her. ‘And anyway, you need to get your facts right. I am pregnant but it has nothing to do with your brother, so back off.’
Louise lunged for Jess again but still Sam held her back.
‘I said that’s enough!’ She turned to Jess. ‘You. Go home and think yourself lucky that I’m not the one having this conversation with you. Because if I was, baby or no baby, I’d be telling Ryan’s wife what was going on. I wouldn’t be keeping any of this secret.’
‘It’s all secrets on this market, isn’t it?’ Jess raised her voice purposely. She pointed at Louise. ‘With your reputation, I wouldn’t be surprised if her husband,’ she gestured to Sam, ‘was Charley’s father. I wouldn’t put it past you not to screw your best friend’s husband, the rumours I’ve heard about you.’
‘Why, you nasty little bitch!’
Sam intervened just in time, pulling Louise away. As they went past Matt’s stall, Sam spotted Ryan trying to b
lend in with the shelves at the back.
‘This is your fault,’ she told him.
‘Yes,’ agreed Louise. ‘You and Jess, it stops right now or I’ll spread some rumours of my own. Do you hear?’
‘I hear you. And it’s over.’ Ryan nodded curtly. ‘But the words kettle and pot spring to mind.’
Louise glared at him before following Sam back to their stall.
‘Men!’ She shrugged on her coat, ready to declare the day well and truly done with. ‘All they do is make you argue. Are you sure you want to get married, Nic? It could all go wrong once that ring is on your finger.’
‘You won’t put me off, big sis,’ Nicci shook her head. ‘It’s taken me years to get to this stage.’
Louise sighed. Why couldn’t she find someone who wanted to marry her and for keeps this time, not like stupid Brian Thompson? Idiot that he was, she had loved being married. Belonging to someone, going home to someone, not having to do everything on her own, make her own decisions, good or bad.
And anyone that could help with Charley and her teenage strops and tantrums would be extremely welcome right now!
Chapter Twenty-One
When she got home from work that evening, Louise found a letter in the post from Charley’s school. She ripped it open. What a perfect ending to a crappy day, she sighed. Charley’s form teacher was asking to see her.
She shouted to Charley to let her know she was home, but ten minutes later, Charley hadn’t surfaced.
She went upstairs to see why. The door was ajar. Charley was sitting at her desk on her laptop.
Louise tapped on the door and went in. ‘Hey, Charl,’ she smiled. ‘Good day at school?’
Charley closed the lid. ‘The usual stuff,’ she replied.
‘Have you made up with Sophie yet?’
Charley shook her head.
‘Bit strange for you two not to be speaking for this long.’ Louise paused. ‘Want to talk about it?’
Charley shook her head again.
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