CP: ‘Do you think we could do it?’
AL: ‘Yes. Make her worry about you for a change. See how she likes it.’
Even though Alex couldn’t see her, Charley nodded through her tears. Oh, how she wanted to make her mum worry. She wanted to make her hurt, like she was hurting. Someone had to pay for all those lies.
But, more importantly, she wanted to be held by Alex. Comforted in his arms. Be loved by him, feel wanted by him. Alex would make everything better. She couldn’t wait to see him.
She pulled out her secret diary from her shoe box at the bottom of her wardrobe. Inside it was the money she’d saved from her Saturday job. She checked the notes. There was thirty pounds there now, plus twenty pounds of her own she’d saved from birthday money. Was it enough? She decided to chance it.
CP: ‘When?’
AL: Tomorrow?
CP: Okay. Let’s do it.
AL: ‘Really?’
CP: ‘Yes, really.’
AL: ‘Cool!’
The screen went blank as they each gathered their thoughts. Then the cursor flashed so that she knew Alex was writing something.
AL: ‘I can’t wait to meet you properly.’
Charley gave an excited squeal.
CP: ‘I can’t wait to meet you too.’
AL: ‘I’ll check train times and figure out somewhere we can meet and then I’ll email you. Laters. x’
As Charley planned her escape, Louise sat in the living room, a wet tissue screwed up in her hand. The television was on but she couldn’t see through the tears that kept flowing. All she could see were Sam’s angry eyes glaring at her and Charley’s face all screwed up with hurt. Two of the people she cared most about and she’d hurt them both in a matter of minutes.
She shouldn’t have taken her anger out on Sam. It wasn’t her fault that Charley’s teacher had wanted to see her. And why had she let things escalate so that she hadn’t kept her mouth shut about Martin? Or, more to the point – why hadn’t she come clean to Sam all those years ago? If she’d just said something to her straight away, none of this would be happening. She’d wanted to, ever since she’d first found out she was pregnant, but in the end it had gone on too long.
You silly cow, Louise chastised herself.
She shouldn’t have told either of them. Not even if Martin was still alive. It would have been spiteful and no matter what Sam thought, she hadn’t kept the secret to save her own skin. She’d done it because she cared. She knew how much losing Martin had devastated Sam and she didn’t want to do anything that would taint him in her eyes.
No wonder she had never found the right words. There had never been any.
‘You’re home early,’ Reece shouted as Sam came through the door.
‘I don’t feel well,’ she replied.
‘What’s wrong?’
‘Oh, just a headache.’ Sam flopped into the armchair. She wasn’t quite sure why, but she didn’t want to tell Reece what she’d found out. ‘I’m not in the mood for Louise harping on about herself.’
Reece stood up. ‘I’ll make a coffee.’
He ruffled her hair as he walked past and Sam smiled faintly. She thought back to her last words with Louise. She knew the truth would come out eventually but she hadn’t realised it would have something to do with her. Tears filled her eyes. She longed to let them out but knew she had to keep them hidden for now.
She tried to put herself in her friend’s position. Had Louise been wrong to sleep with her dad, way back then? Louise had been wild at eighteen. That’s what Sam loved about her. Opinionated, daring, extrovert and quite the opposite of her. She’d loved hanging around with Louise because of it. Would that have changed if she knew she was after her dad?
She wondered how long it had been going on, and how hadn’t she noticed that Louise had fallen for him? She tried to think back but it was too far. There were no memories she could recall that would make her think about anything in particular. Louise always seemed to be round at her house because her own was too noisy. She had to share a room with Nicci so being here with Sam was more private.
Had Louise used Sam all that time and she’d never known? And why hadn’t she told her? Was it because she’d known that she’d lose her? After Martin’s death, would Sam have been excited about a baby he’d fathered? She very much doubted that.
She held in a sob. Had Louise chosen her as a godmother to Charley because of her father? Had Louise stayed friendly with Sam all that time just because of the connection between them? She had to admit they didn’t always get along. But she’d always thought of them as best friends.
Reece came in. He handed her a glass of water and two painkillers, then brought in their drinks before lounging out on the settee. With a quick smile in her direction, he went back to watching the television.
Sam drank her coffee and excused herself as quickly as she could. At least in the shower, she could cry in solitude. Once under the water, she let the tears fall. For her; for Charley; and most of all, for her dad.
Bringing this up now made her wonder what it would be like if he was still alive. Sadly, she would never find out.
And that’s what hurt the most.
The next morning, Charley had been awake since five a.m. She’d stayed in her bedroom the evening before, gathering together the things she needed. A night away would be enough to teach her mum a lesson. Then maybe she could come back and move in with Sam – or even Matt.
Charley glanced around the room she’d always loved so much. Just lately, it had become her prison as well as her sanctuary. The walls had never felt like they were closing in on her until now. She’d always loved this room. She and Sophie had hung around in it, had a laugh together so many times over the years.
Tears glistened in her eyes as she thought of the last time she’d seen her best friend. Sophie had been with Angela Wilson again. She couldn’t understand why she didn’t want to hang around with her anymore. They’d been friends for years. She thought they’d be friends for life. She thought Sophie would stick with her through thick and thin. All of a sudden, she realised she had no one to depend on but Alex. He would look after her.
She logged onto her laptop and checked her emails. There was one from him, giving details of the train times and where he’d meet her at the station. She pressed print. Then she logged onto Facebook to see if he was around. When there was no reply, she remembered what time it was; Alex would still be asleep.
Instead, she sent him a quick text message to say she’d received his email. She’d try again later if she had time before she left for the train.
It was nearing seven fifteen when he replied:
‘Really can’t wait to see you. x’
She texted back a reply:
‘Me too. Am excited. x’
Her bag packed, she lay underneath her duvet, fully clothed, just in case her mum tried to talk to her before she left for work and spotted she was dressed. It was Wednesday and Louise usually took the bus into Hedworth as Sam caught up on her paperwork and came to the stall a little later. Not that Sam was likely to pick her mum up after what had happened.
Charley still couldn’t believe what she’d learned last night. Ever since she could remember, she’d dreamt of meeting her dad one day. She’d dreamt about him holding her in his arms, saying he’d never stopped thinking of her. She’d daydreamed about him saying he was sorry and that it was Louise who’d told him not to stay in touch. That it was Louise who’d told him to stay away. And now she knew she would never get to meet him. Charley would never forgive her mum for keeping this secret.
A knock on her door just before half past seven made her jump.
‘Charley?’ said Louise, quietly.
‘Leave me alone,’ Charley shouted, glad that her mum hadn’t barged in like she normally did.
‘I’m not coming in and I’m not going to try and talk to you right now. And even though I really shouldn’t do this, I’m going to ring the school and tell them you’
re sick and won’t be coming in today. Okay?’
Charley had an idea. ‘Thanks,’ she replied.
‘Okay. Ring me if you need anything … or just, you know, if you want to talk.’ A pause. ‘I’ll see you later then, yeah?’
No, you won’t. Charley said nothing, knowing that she’d given herself a bit of time to get away. If her mum thought she was at home, she could travel to see Alex, safe in the knowledge that no one would find her until she was ready to come home.
She smiled. See how Louise coped with worrying about someone other than herself for a change.
Chapter Twenty-Three
While Charley made her way to the train station that morning, things were decidedly icy on the fruit stall.
Although they kept up a front, Sam and Louise were pussyfooting round each other. Nicci was the first to comment.
‘What is it with you two?’ she asked. ‘You’ve obviously fallen out over something.’
‘No, we haven’t,’ said Sam.
‘It’s nothing,’ said Louise.
‘Yeah right, and I’m not getting married in two weeks,’ Nicci said sarcastically. Then she gasped. ‘Ohmigod. Can you believe it? I’m getting married in TWO WEEKS!’
Pleased to discuss the wedding and throw themselves into something that didn’t involve much personal conversation, Louise and Sam went over some of the finer details with her between serving customers.
‘Jay needs to collect the suits for the boys and I have my last dress fitting this weekend,’ she said finally. ‘And you two need to come as well.’
‘You know they’ve forecasted snow for that week,’ Louise teased.
‘For Easter?’
‘It’s been known to happen before.’
Nicci slapped her arm playfully. ‘There will be no snow on my wedding day, thank you very much.’
‘But just think how magical it will make it.’
‘Just think how cold my feet would be!’
‘We could get you some wedding wellies!’ laughed Sam.
Louise picked up her phone and rang Charley but there was no answer. She slid the cover back up with a snap.
‘Did you speak to Charley last night?’ Sam gave her a warning look that she took to mean not to say too much in front of Nicci.
Louise shook her head. ‘I tried again this morning and she said she wasn’t going in.’
‘What’s up?’ Nicci asked.
Louise filled her in on some of the happenings of the previous night. She watched as Sam squirmed, wondering just how much she would tell. But she wasn’t going to let on about their row. She’d never told anyone about Martin until last night and she certainly wasn’t going to announce it to the world now.
‘What do you think I should do?’
‘How would I know? She’s your daughter,’ Sam said pointedly. Then she relented. ‘Charley’s a bright kid. She’ll work it out for herself.’
‘Who’s for coffee?’ Nicci said. ‘I think it’s my turn to make it.’
As Nicci collected their empty mugs, Louise gave Sam a half smile. One less than that was returned. She really hoped in time Sam would come to understand that she’d been young and stupid. Then again, she still was stupid. Not even getting older had made her wiser. Or wise up to herself.
Louise sighed again. What the hell was she going to do about Charley? Like every parent, Louise wanted the best for her child. She didn’t want her making the same mistakes she had. Shame rushed through her as she thought how much her life had impacted on Charley. Louise had always put herself first, never her child. Charley was living with a mother who had no ambition, with no father figure to look up to. Apart from Matt, she supposed. Matt doted on Charley. Something else she was jealous of. Why couldn’t he dote on her too?
She tried Charley’s phone to see if she would answer. When there was no reply, she left a voicemail.
‘Hi, Charl, it’s only me. Listen, when you get this message, give me a quick call, yeah? Speak soon.
Love you. Bye.’
‘Any luck?’ Sam asked, passing her a mug from Nicci.
Louise shook her head. ‘The stubborn little minx isn’t answering.’
Nicci laughed. ‘Like mother, like daughter.’
Neither Louise nor Sam joined in.
Although she was nervous about catching – or rather missing – two trains to Rhyl, Charley was bubbling with excitement. She’d spent so much time recently day dreaming about meeting Alex. She gazed through the window at the passing scenery, wondering if he would be as nice in real life as he was online. Was his profile picture really him, all sexy eyes and dark, spiky hair and sleek like a racehorse or would he be a spotty boy with greasy hair and a weedy frame? She smiled to herself. Soon, she would find out. And at least she’d bought a return ticket home. She wasn’t that stupid.
Twenty minutes later, the train pulled into the station. Charley reached for her holdall from the luggage rail above her head and stepped down onto the platform. Her eyes searched through the people milling about but she couldn’t see anyone that looked like Alex. Unsure what to do, she moved to the side by the coffee stall where she’d arranged to meet him.
No one came towards her. She checked her watch: the train was on time. Where was he?
Fear gripped her as she wondered if it had all been a big joke. That Alex wasn’t really going to turn up. Had it been someone from school winding her up, pretending to be her friend? Tears brimmed in her eyes.
Then she noticed someone waving. She looked across the platform. An old man in his fifties, with greasy grey hair and a scruffy jumper over disgusting looking corduroy trousers walked towards her. He was smiling at her. Oh no, she didn’t know what to do. She’d heard stuff about men who lured young women away, pretending to be someone younger than they were. Please, no.
She turned towards the coffee stall as he came closer, anxiety starting to flood through her, then sighed with relief as the man moved past and said hello to a lady behind her. Then she heard her name and a hand on her shoulder. She turned and this time she knew it was Alex.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said, struggling to get his breath. ‘I missed the bus and had to wait an age for another one. I see you got here on time.’
Charley was sure her heart stopped beating for a moment as she stared at him. Close up, he really was all sexy eyes, dark, spiky hair and body sleek like a racehorse. He wore a thick fleece jacket over a zipped up jumper, a scarf thrown around it casually, dark jeans and thick soled boots. And his smile. There was no mistaking him.
‘Hi,’ she said shyly.
‘Hi yourself,’ Alex replied.
They stood for a moment in the chaos around them and then they laughed.
‘Well, this is weird,’ he said eventually. And then he kissed her. Right there at the side of the platform, right next to the coffee stall. It wasn’t a long kiss, but it was a good kiss. A warm welcoming and tender first kiss; she hoped it would be the first of many. He reached for her hand and they walked away, suddenly unable to stop talking.
Charley felt so happy, she thought she might faint. She was actually here with Alex!
‘What am I going to do with her, Matt?’ Louise asked as they shared a quick break together over coffee in the café. ‘I can’t seem to get through to her no matter what I say.’
‘I’m not sure, really.’ Matt added sugar to his coffee. ‘Ordinarily, I’d tell you to wait until she’s calmed down and try to talk to her again. But she’s skipping school. You have to do something or you’ll both get into trouble.’
Louise glanced out into the aisle, watching the passing shoppers. Matt was right but he hadn’t come up with any practical advice. What she wanted to know was how to handle the situation. How to get Charley to go to school. Or more to the point, find out why she wasn’t going.
What she couldn’t tell Matt was the reason Charley hadn’t gone to school today was not the reason he thought it was. She frowned, annoyed with herself. Even now, after all that had gone on
, she was still keeping secrets!
‘Penny for them,’ Matt interrupted her thoughts.
‘Hmm?’ She glanced back at him. ‘Sorry, I was just thinking.’
‘How about I have a word with her?’ Matt suggested. ‘Maybe she might tell me something that she wouldn’t tell you.’
‘You mean you want to be a negotiator?’ Louise teased. ‘You’ve been watching too much TV. Charley’s fifteen – a teenager, remember. She won’t spill anything, unless it’s to Sophie.’ Louise sighed then. ‘I wish those two would hurry up and get together again. I miss the laughter they bring to the house. It’s like a morgue in there at the moment.’
‘Well, the offer is on the table.’ Matt squeezed her hand before knocking back the dregs of his drink and standing up. ‘A man’s perception might do the trick.’
‘Ha, ha. Any idea where I might find one?’
Louise planted a smile on her face. Joking aside, she was worried that she had really messed everything up. Because that wasn’t the offer she was interested in.
Had she missed her chance with Matt?
Charley and Alex were getting off the bus they’d caught outside the railway station when Charley’s phone rang again. She pulled it from her pocket to see who it was.
‘Is it your mum?’ Alex looked at her.
Charley nodded.
‘Are you going to answer it?’
‘Nope.’
‘Nice one.’
Charley felt like a rebel as Alex grabbed her hand again and they walked together along the pavement.
There was a long, straight main road in front of them. On one side, there were terraced rows of guest houses and hotels for as far as the eye could see and on the other, a three foot hop over the wall lead to the beach. The sea was choppy, sand flailing about with the wind but Charley didn’t mind. She caught the smell of fish and chips wafting in front of her nose and checked her watch to see it was lunchtime.
‘I’m starving,’ she said. Apart from a piece of toast this morning, she hadn’t eaten anything substantial since yesterday lunch. ‘Fancy some chips?’
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