by P. J. Belden
This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. The author holds exclusive rights to this work. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited.
Copyright: P. J. Belden, 2016
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Hidden Secrets series
(Each book can be read as a standalone novel, but because the series follows a ‘family’ it’s best to read in order to have the full understanding of each character)
Protective Love (#1)
Fantasy Attraction (#2)
Family Ties (#3)
Tough Love (#4)
Struggling Free (#5)
Falling Hard (#6)
Dangerously Yearning (#7)
Forbidden series
(Each book can be read as a standalone but will overlap the previous stories.)
Forbidden Paths
Stranded series
Alaskan Lifeline
Falling in Deep
Lost Trilogy
(Must be read in order)
Lost in Lies (#1)
Lost in Fantasy (#2)
Lost in Love (#3)
Stand Alone
Unexpectedly Lost
Feeling the Moment
Fighting to Stay
Finding An Angel
BLURB:
Ember Watson had her life planned out. Fifteen years old and she knew she’d marry and spend an incredible life with her boyfriend. Then he told her that he had to leave. He promised, promised he’d be back for her when he made a name for himself. He never came back.
Five years after the horrific day when she found out the truth about her boyfriend, Sage Jacobs, the pain tried to consume her. It tried to take her down to depths unknown, but she couldn’t afford to let that happen. Even when their paths crossed once again.
Sage wanted a second chance. Ember wanted him to leave her alone. Sage abandoned her when she needed him the most. Could she ever begin to trust him again? Sometimes all we could do was whatever we had to in order to keep Surviving the Pain.
To my all-time love, my husband, thank you so much for just being you. For loving me, for encouraging me, for making me better every single day. I love you more than words can describe.
To my kiddos, you are mommy’s pride and joy. Everything I do each day, in my life, is with you in my mind and in my heart. God truly blessed me with you guys. I love you to infinity and beyond, to the moon and back.
Other Works
Prologue – 1
Prologue – 2
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
Seven
Eight
Nine
Ten
Eleven
Twelve
Thirteen
Fourteen
Fifteen
Sixteen
Next Book
Thank You
Part One – Sage
Screwing his eyes shut, Sage Jacobs tried to drown out his father’s drunken voice. He screamed for him, but Sage thought if he ignored Collin long enough he could escape the torture he’d sure to have to face tonight. It was like this every single night, but it was worse on the weekends. The weekends were when the real pain began.
Ever since he was ten years old and his father had got mixed up with this guy – that Sage couldn’t stand, he stunk and always seemed to have this crazy look in his eyes – things at his house went from bad to worse. His father’s beatings and his mother’s neglect were no longer Sage’s big problem. It was what the weekends held. Every weekend, this guy – who Sage never got his name – would come to their house. Collin would drag him down to the basement. Over several hours, Sage had to fight off his father and this guy. It seemed like the times got longer and longer every time.
The only brightness to his days was his girlfriend – and love of his life – Ember Watson. When Sage met her years ago, he knew she was special. But as time had gone on he quickly realized that she wasn’t just special, she was his. He’d never been as scared as he was that day when he asked her out. Sage was risking their friendship, but he didn’t care – at that time – because he wanted to be with her more than just as friends. To Sage’s complete surprise, she’d agreed with tears of happiness dancing in her eyes.
It had been her that kept him going through all the weekends he had to face with his parents. When his stomach ached with hunger, her smiling face made him push through it. Moreover, on nights like tonight, just the thought of her kept him on his feet. It kept him vigilant and ready for anything. She made him alert to all around him so he could have more moments to remember with her. Ember didn’t know it, but she saved him every day of his life since he met her.
Opening his eyes, he listened, carefully. All sounds stopped in the house. His father was no longer screaming his name and stumbling through each room. Sage let out a sigh of relief and opened his eyes. Slowly, he opened the door to his bathroom and peeked out into the hallway. When he saw no movement in the dark, he ran for the stairs, careful to avoid all the ones that creaked when a little weight was placed on them. Once he was outside he called Grey Matthews – his best friend and practically brother – to meet him at their usual spot.
Sadly, these nights came often. Grey never asked questions, but he always stood by him in silent support. Sage knew that he could tell his friend what was going on, but at the same time he worried that saying it out loud would somehow make it worse. So, no matter how bad it’d gotten. No matter how much pain he was in, he kept it to himself. There were days he even feared they’d kill him.
The first time he had to face off against the two men, he’d thought it was a joke. That was until they both punched him hard. Sage started fighting back after that. He looked at it this way. At least he could inflict some of the pain they were inflicting on him back on them. Though putting a ten year old against two grown men was hardly a fair fight, but Sage learned quickly how to dodge most of their shots.
It was because of them that he hated weekends. The only perk on weekends were the times he got to spend with Ember and her family. A smile graced his face as he jogged down the dark streets. Kimberly and Everett Watson welcomed him into their family even when he was only friends with her daughter. When they found out his true feelings for their baby girl, they didn’t kick him to the curb like he’d thought. They’d just told him that whoever Ems chose to give her heart to was up to her on who and when, but that Sage needed to realize that if he hurt h
er he’d answer to them.
By the time, he’d reached the meeting grounds Grey was already there. They started talking about some college parties coming up and Sage’s mind began to wonder again. This time it was to what was going to be happening in just two days. He had to figure something out. Sage couldn’t go on living like this. The thought of standing up to his old man still inflicted the same fear it had when he was ten to the eighteen year old boy he was now.
“Sage!” Grey yelled. “Where’d you go?” He asked when Sage looked at him.
“Sorry, was just thinking about this weekend… err…” Sage realized his mistake right after he said it.
“What’s this weekend?”
Sage stopped and faced the man he considered his brother. “I know you’ve known for a long time that something’s been going on at home. You haven’t asked me or tried to make me talk about it and I appreciate it. But I need your help now.”
“Of course, Sage. You know you can ask me for anything. Anything at all.”
“I need out. I need a way to escape my parents. If I don’t do something soon, I’m liable to be killed. No, I’m not exaggerating either.”
“Wow, man… What are you going to do?” Grey said after a moment.
“I’ve got to talk to Ember. Maybe I can stay with her and her folks?”
“Do you think that’ll be far enough? I mean it’s not like this is a small town. They’d find out eventually that you went there.” Grey pointed out.
Sage sighed in defeat. He wasn’t sure what would be the best bet, but he knew what he wanted and that was Ember. She was all he’d ever wanted. Beyond that nothing else mattered to him.
“Good point, but maybe it might be long enough that Ember can graduate and we can get our own place somewhere else.” Sage wondered out loud.
“I guess your first step would be to talk to Ember first.”
“Yeah, you could be right. Thanks for listening man. I really appreciate it.”
Pacing back and forth in the alley, Sage waited nervously for Grey. For all he’d been through, he thought he’d be granted this one good thing, but of course that couldn’t happen. From today until Sunday, it would be just he and Ember alone. Not that the small amount of time was going to be nearly enough for him, but it would be a lot for Sage to hold on to while he was away. Sage had to leave. His parents left him no choice, especially after going by her house last week and threatening her. No, he couldn’t stay behind. He had to go, find a great job and be able to give Ember the life she deserved.
“What’s up man? You sounded weird on the phone.” Grey said as he jogged up to him.
“I am going to be gone after this weekend. I need you to be with my girl. I need you to protect her. Keep my parents as far from her as you can. Please.” Sage all but begged.
“Oh no no no no,” Grey shot out quickly. “I can’t do this one, buddy.”
“Please you have to. You’re the only person I trust. Please.” He wasn’t ashamed of his begging. Sage would do anything to know that Ember was safe. Even when that meant leaving her behind for a little while.
After several more minutes of arguing, Grey finally gave in and promised to watch out for her for him while Sage was away. Honestly, he couldn’t understand why Grey didn’t want to help him out here when Ember was one of his best friends too. After saying goodbye, Sage ran off to pick up Ember.
As the bus pulled away from the curb, Sage’s eyes stayed on his crying girlfriend. His heart broke with every bit of distance that started to come between them. He reached for the cord several times to stop the bus and stopped himself. Sage couldn’t do that to her or to himself. Ember deserved to not have to live in fear. She deserved the best life could offer. The very best.
Last night before we’d fallen asleep, Sage had placed a letter on her clothes for her. It was meant for her to read when he was gone. But at some point during the night, she’d waken and saw the letter.
My dearest love,
It may seem like this is the worst thing to happen to us, but it won’t be forever. Soon, we’ll be back together and never part again. Our dreams will still come true and our love will forever live on in both our hearts. We will get through this tough time and love every minute of our future so much for it. Please know that I will never forget this weekend, you, or our love. You are my focus right now. You are the reason I will succeed. You are the reason that I breathe. I can’t tell you how sorry I am for having to leave. One day, when we’re back together, maybe I can tell you everything. But right now just know that I love you with all my heart and will do any and everything I can to make you happy and all your dreams come true.
All my love forever! Only yours forever,
She woke Sage up crying and begging him not to go. Even he started to cry with her. If there was any other way for him to do this, for him to stay with her, he’d do it in a heartbeat. But all the time that Grey and Sage had poured over ideas, neither of them had found any. She would always remain at risk if he was there. With him gone, he knew she would be safe and Grey would be there to watch over her when he couldn’t.
Soon her image disappeared from his view and his heart shattered with it. He didn’t know what he was going to do without her. She grounded him. Whatever happened now… he prayed it took him back to his one and only love, real soon.
“I love you, Ems,” Sage whispered out the window where she was no longer in sight.
Part Two – Ember
Closing her eyes, Ember Watson remembered the time when her heart wasn’t breaking. Those times, however, were definitely not tonight, not right now. Twenty minutes ago, she had to watch as the love of her life road away on a bus to achieve something he couldn’t do here. Even now, Ember had no idea what that was. Sage Jacobs decided last week that the way life was right now was just not enough for him.
When he approached Ember last month about his plan to leave, she thought he was joking. But as he began to sell the things he cared most about, she knew he was serious. She was only fifteen, and he was eighteen. There just wasn’t a way for her to leave with him. After all, unlike Sage, who graduated, Ember still had three years of school left. In no way was Ember not going to get her degree. Ever since she was little, she had big plans for herself. Plans that meant Ember needed to have a degree to achieve it.
Tonight those plans seemed so trivial next to the thought of never seeing Sage again. He promised he’d be back. Over and over again – between kissing Ember passionately – he vouched how much he loved her. Even his eyes shone with heartache, so Ember had no doubt he loved her. What she doubted was that he’d stay hers for however long he was gone. Not that he’d ever cheated on anyone. It was more realistic thinking. He’s only eighteen and incredibly handsome, with a voice that did things to her. What girl wouldn’t throw themselves at him? Built, dark brown hair, bright blue eyes, full ‘kissable’ lips, a shiver runs through her at the thought. What young, hot-blooded male wouldn’t want the company of a woman? Sure he may stay faithful for a little while, but the loneliness will begin to eat him alive. And Ember just couldn’t blame him if he did. Until that day, she was holding onto hope that he’d be back to visit soon.
The past week Sage and Ember have been inseparable. Knowing how bad their daughter was breaking Everett and Kimberly allowed their daughter to spend the past two days with him. Of course, that meant one long sex talk, safety talk, the whole nine yards. It was the best and saddest weekend that Ember has ever had. They pigged out on anything that could be delivered, watched movies and made out as if it were the way to breathe. They also had sex for the first time. Ember had never felt a pain like that, and it turned quickly into a pleasure that was so consuming she lost all sense of reality. Sage had told Ember how much he loved her, and he’d never forget her or that moment. It was incredible making love with him. Honestly, Ember didn’t know why people ever got out of bed. After they, finally, had sex the first time, she attacked Sage and vice versa. For a day and a half, they stayed na
ked and in bed making meals of the other.
“Emmy, is that you dear?” Kimberly called from the living room.
Ember opened her bedroom door just enough so she could speak to her mom. “Yes, ma’am. I’m going to bed. Can we talk in the morning?”
“Of course, dear. We love you.”
“Love you too.”
Letting the door click closed, Ember slid to the floor and let the tears continue to fall. Sage was gone. Who knew when he’d be back, soon she hoped. Her heart ached and broke from the missing warmth and light that Sage took with him when he left. A chill settled in and a storm began to brew around her heart. She’d been with Sage since she was thirteen. Thirteen years old and now he’s gone. Her sixteenth birthday was right around the corner. By corner, of course, she meant eleven months away.
Pulling herself from the floor, Ember dragged herself over to her bed and flopped on it. Ember clung to the shirt that smelled of him and a bottle of his cologne. It was all she had left of him, a shirt and cologne. He’d gave her his last bottle of cologne to remember him by until he could come back.
Squeezing her eyes shut tightly, she curled into a ball. “Please come home to me soon. My heart is dying in my chest without you.”
Letting a sob escape, the tears fell as she cried harder. Sob after silent sob shook her body and her bed. Nothing was ever going to be the same without him. Her heart would only beat when he came back to see her. Right now, her life was over.
Two months later…
Pacing the living room, Ember waited for her parents to get home from work. The last time she’d heard from Sage was two weeks after he left. Honestly, it was a toss up on what hurt worse; his leaving or the sudden stop in communication. Ember’s parents have been trying to help her pick up the pieces since he left. His phone calls and texts were the only things that helped her through his absence. And now, she hasn’t had a single form of contact in weeks. Weeks!