by P. J. Belden
“How dare you! I just saw him today! I accidently drove to my parents to pick my son up and forgot he was in the car. Second, he is not your son. He’s…”
“He’s my son,” Sage said in a firm voice from behind me. Ember squealed as she jumped in fright.
“Sage,” she worked hard to get her body under control. “How long have you been there?”
“Long enough to know that the man that I thought was my best friend wasn’t and is trying to claim what’s mine,” Sage hissed as he stalked toward Grey.
“What’s yours? You left them in your dust a long time ago,” Grey hissed back.
“You don’t want to press your luck with me right now, Grey. I’ll lay all your shit and lies bare.”
“Will both of you, stop it now! I don’t need my son witnessing your pissing contest,” Ember growled in frustration.
Sage stepped backwards a bit and grabbed Ember’s waist, taking her with him. Grey had been the one person that he’d trust his world with whenever he couldn’t be there. Grey obviously wasn’t that man anymore. Truth be told, Sage didn’t know who Grey was anymore. But one thing he did know for certain. Ember and Hudson were his, they would never be anyone else’s as long as Sage lived and could help it. No doubt in his mind that he fucked up five years ago, but he was damn sure not letting another moment pass by him that he didn’t try his damnedest to make it up to Ember and to his son. This was his family, the family they’d always talked about having. He wasn’t letting them go again.
“I’m sorry Ems,” Sage whispered near her ear before impulsively pressing a tender kiss to the curve of her neck. He’d realized his mistake when she tensed in his arms. It was slight. No one would have noticed, but he did. By the small smirk on Grey’s face, he did too. Grinding his teeth together, he worked hard to keep from just ripping into the douchebag.
Putting her hands on her hips, she stepped away from Sage and looked between him and Grey. Sage already missed the feel of her near him. It was weird how much time had passed, and these feelings had not changed, not in the slightest. Well, that wasn’t true. The feelings he had for her may have increased, but definitely didn’t diminish.
“You two used to be best friends. Hell, there were times when I couldn’t get you two apart long enough to even say your name, Sage. Why the hell do you hate each other so much? Why damn it! I want to know!” Ember’s cheeks still turned the slight pink when she got angry. The memory almost made him smile, but he held out. If he’d smiled right then, she’d have taken it wrong, and all hell would have broken loose.
“Ask him,” Sage said after a moment. “I turned to him as my friend and he is the one that broke that. He’s the one that… Never mind. It’s not important. The fact of the matter is that I’m still paying for a wrong decision that I made when I was young, dumb, and in a terrible living environment. A decision that never even involved him, other than I asked that he look out for you until I could come back.”
“Had nothing to do with me,” Grey hissed as he started to step toward Sage. “You asked something of me that I told you, I couldn’t do. I told you that I didn’t want to do it, and yet you still asked, begged even. You said you only trusted me,” Grey growled.
There was a long silence after he finished talking. Sage wasn’t sure if Grey was thinking back to what he said and realized how horrible he sounded or not, but Sage was. Not that Grey sounded awful, but that he’d put a problem on a friend’s shoulder, and he shouldn’t have. Sage created this problem, whatever the problem was. Sage somehow needed to fix it, but looking back and forth between Grey and Ember, he wasn’t sure he could fix this.
“You need to leave,” Ember said suddenly, shocking both of the guys.
“Who,” Sage and Grey said in unison.
“Grey, you need to leave. I’m not going to sit here and fight an uphill battle until I know where all the landmines are. There’s obviously more going on here than I am aware of. So until I know it all. You need to leave.”
“Wait, you are kicking me out. I’ve been here for you through everything, including the birth of Hudson,” he smirked at Sage as he said that. He knew that knowing he was there for the birth of Sage’s son would eat at him. The bastard! “You’re going to kick me out when that fucker hasn’t been in your life for anything, none of the attacks…”
That got his attention, but before he could say anything Ember was in his face. As she yelled each word at him, Sage watched Grey cringe and actually felt sorry for him. No matter the standing between this crazy love triangle that seemed to be happening right now, Grey definitely loved his woman. The question still remained for Sage on if Ember returned those feelings. He was going to find out, but he had to wait until he’d earned the right to ask.
“You weren’t there for everything! There’s a lot you missed. No one saved me in the parking lot. Holden is the one that came to my rescue when Hudson and I were here in this apartment! Don’t try and play like you were here for everything. Yes, you’ve been here through a lot, I won’t deny that, and I’m very grateful. Don’t get on your high horse when you don’t have a saddle on it to keep you up there when it bucks.”
“Ems,” Grey started to say, but he was immediately cut off. Sage had to work to control his breathing and anger. The more he upset Ember, the more it was pissing him off. Also, using the nickname that he had for her… well, it about pushed him over the edge. However, all he could do was smile when Ember ripped into him on it.
“I told you! Don’t. Call. Me. Ems! How many times do I have to say you that?”
Grey shoved his hands through his hair. The control he was known for having had long since left him. He had come here to beg her to give them a shot. Sage didn’t deserve her love or time. Anyone that could abandon the woman he supposedly loved didn’t deserve the tears she’d shed or the love she still held for him. Sure, Grey may not have been the best pick of men, but still he was better than Sage. After all, he knew how Sage earned money. Grey also knew that Sage had been with other women over the last five years. As Grey watched Sage out of the corner of his eyes, he wondered if he’d bothered telling her that. Then again, he’s not even sure that Ember would care. She was with Grey after all. Even if it was only six month and they’d only slept together once, Grey knew her. She’d understand.
No matter how many times over the last few years that she’s said she just wanted friendship, and he told himself that’s all he’d have, he just couldn’t let her go. Ember was a great friend. She was beautiful, smart, strong, so damn caring. It was all the traits he wanted in the mother of his children and the love of his life. The problem he was having was coming to terms with the fact that she wasn’t his to have. He’d sworn that there were a few times over the years as she was insisting they were just going to be friends that more sparked in her eyes, but he’d been wrong apparently. It would be far easier on him to accept defeat, tuck tail and run, but he didn’t want to be like Sage. He wanted to prove to her no matter how tough things got he’d always be there for her. Ember just needed to let him be there for her. Since the day in the park, if she needed anything she called Holden or Aspen, not him. All he wanted was for her to love him. She’d never have to worry about anything else in her life if she’d just love him as he loved her.
“Are you even listening to me, Grey?” Ember shot out at him angrily.
“I am. I always listen to you. When will you give me a fucking moment and listen to me? When will you look at me and see that you’re killing me slowly and give me five fucking seconds of your damn time!” Damn he sounded like such a pussy, but he couldn’t help it. Nothing was shutting off his feelings for her. There were plenty of times that he’d turn girls away because he couldn’t handle the thought of touching them when the one he really wanted to touch, caress, make love to didn’t want him the same way. All those times he’d wanted to shut it off, but that damn feeling didn’t come with a switch, and it seemed to always burn hot.
Sage stared at Grey in shock a
s he yelled in Ember’s face with tears streaming down his face. He remembered back to the conversation they’d had the first time he’d run into Ember. His used to be best friend loved his girl and for the first time, anger didn’t follow the thought. Though he still wanted no one else with her but him, he understood how hard it was on Grey. After all, for five damn years, he couldn’t have her. Hell, he probably shouldn’t be here even now. Sage just couldn’t stay away any longer. He’s glad he didn’t because now that Sage knew he had a son, everything had changed.
“Grey…” Ember choked out.
“Hey G, why don’t we…” Just as Sage was going to try and defuse the situation, the angelic voice he’ll never forget saying the one word that would always mean everything to him, called down the hall.
“Daddy, can I come out there yet?”
That one word brought him back to earlier when he first saw Hudson. Just hearing a child scream ‘Daddy’ was enough to break any man. At first, Sage was pissed at Ember for not telling him, but then reality hit when his mind did the math. The day she’d found him, she was pregnant, and he kicked her out of his life. It wasn’t that he wanted to, but that he knew what would happen if Rufus – at that time – found out about Ember. A shudder ran through him at the thought of any harm coming to his family.
“Uh, buddy, we are having an adult moment out here. I’ll come get you in a minute okay?”
“You aren’t leaving?”
“No buddy. I’m not going anywhere.” Sage answered his son but stared at Ember hoping she’d see the truth in his eyes.
Sage wasn’t going anywhere. There’d be hell to pay when he informed Rufus of that, but he’d pay it and return to his family for the rest of his life. He’d lost enough time, he wasn’t losing more.
“Okay,” he called and then his door shut again.
Turning back to Grey, Sage looked at him for a moment. The sadness on his face caused a stab of pain in his chest. He’d done this to his friend. Sage had forced his friend to be around Ember. No one could be around that woman for extended periods of time and not fall in love with her. She was just that type of person.
“Want to go for a walk and talk, G?”
He stared at Sage for a moment, in shock Sage thought. The shock wore off and anger filled his eyes, hot on its heels were jealousy and envy.
“Hell, no I don’t! Everything was going fine until you had to show your fucking face back up! How long until you leave again, Sage? How long until you abandon them again?” He looked at Ember. “This is so fucked up! I’m right here ready to love you with all I have and never leave your side, and you can’t return my love. But this sorry son of a bitch you love so completely you would rather suffer than be with someone else. Fuck!” He roared before storming from the apartment, slamming the door behind him.
Sage watched as Ember hurried to the door and locked all the locks and chains on the door. Ems quickly moved over to the stove and pulled the chicken from the oven and checked on all the other food. She began prepping Hudson’s plate. Having as much as he could take, Sage walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist and held her. For a moment, she just stood there, before she finally turned in his arms and cried into his chest as she wrapped her arms around his neck.
“It’s okay, Ems. Let it out. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere ever again.” Sage whispered quietly in her ear.
After a few more minutes of her tears, she shoved out of his arms and went back to preparing Hudson’s plate. Knowing she needed some space before supper, Sage walked down to his son’s room. When he opened the door, he saw his son staring off as he hugged his knees to his chest. The sight broke his heart.
“What’s wrong, buddy?”
His head snapped in Sage’s direction. “Daddy!” He launched himself into Sage’s arms and held him tightly. “I thought you left.”
No matter how he tried to play it down, he’d broken the two people he loved the most in the world. Both were people he loved instantly, at first sight. He more than fucked up and Sage wasn’t even sure he could fix it this time.
Ember stood at the kitchen sink, finishing up the dishes. Really she was just trying to stay busy. As she stood there, she could feel his eyes on her. It was heating her from the inside out. Sage has been here for only a few hours and still she felt the stirrings of a need long suppressed. A need that didn’t even come to life when she had sex with Grey.
Though, there for a while, she’d worked hard to convince herself that she wanted to love him. The more the thoughts ran through her head, the more she knew it to be false. Not that she’d used Grey. No, it was more like she let him use her. He wanted sex. She wanted to forget. So, in a way, they freed each other. The problem for her was that she couldn’t lie and pretend something happened when she was dead inside. Grey was a great man and an incredible friend, but he just wasn’t meant that way for her.
For as long as Ember could remember, she was always told that everything happened for a reason. Right or wrong, it happened because it was meant to be. Grey and her ‘dated’ and had sex because it opened her eyes to what she’d never have with anyone other than Sage. It would also be the guide in which Grey will not allow himself to sink to when he searched for his girl. Until Grey realized what they had was not but a passing moment to fill a void, he’d never be able to move on. That broke her heart. Ember knew deep in her soul that if Sage asked her to be his again – if he came right out and said it – she’d accept him with open arms. It didn’t matter how much he killed her or what she’d been through in the five years he was gone… No, it did matter. Well, it should matter. She needed to talk to him.
Hudson had begged for Sage to put him to bed tonight. That could be another reason she felt off. It was breaking their routine, the normalcy she depended on. Ember found herself checking in on them every few minutes. It melted her heart to hear them together and see them laughing and loving on each other. If for no other reason, Ember would put on a brave face for her son. For as long as he’d been the odd boy out, she wouldn’t deny him that special bond with his father. All she needed to do was just guard her heart a little more. Somehow.
“What are you thinking about, beautiful?” His deep voice almost seemed to rumble over her skin and dig right into her heart.
Yeah, okay, stopping from caring may be harder than I thought it would be, Ember thought to herself. She was so lost in trying to figure out what to do about her heart that she hadn’t heard him approach. When he snaked his arms around her waist from behind, she jumped, screamed, and cowered down to the floor. There were many things that she’d never told anyone before and if Sage was still just as detailed focused, he’d see the things she wasn’t telling just by this single action. The questions would come, and she’d be forced to open old wounds. Whether or not it was healthy to bottle things up, she had to in order to protect Hudson from all the terror that has followed her since… God, she couldn’t even remember when it started.
“Ems,” Sage started before taking a deep breath. “I know I have no right asking you this, but I need to know what’s going on.” Just as he finished his sentence and the pain in his voice sunk in, she let a loud, heartbreaking sob escape. The next thing Ember knew, Sage was on the floor wrapped around her trying to console something he didn’t even know what it was. It only served to push the tears out faster and the sobs harder.
“God, Ems, baby, please… I can’t stand it when you cry. Let me help. Let me heal what I’ve broken.” The desperation in his voice undid every fiber of the need to protect herself from him. For the first time in a long time, she wanted to let someone in. Not just anyone, though. She wanted to let Sage in.
“Since you’ve been gone,” she started before a sob shook her body.
“Wait. Let’s move to the couch,” he said as he stood with her in his arms. Setting her down, gently, he kicked off his shoes sat down sideways on the couch – with his back toward the arm – and pulled her between his legs. “Okay, conti
nue.”
A shiver coursed through her body as his warm breath flowed over the bare skin of her shoulder. Swallowing hard, Ember decided to be open and honest about everything that has gone on since he left. It was the only way they’d actually heal. However, she knew only small steps. If she couldn’t handle it all at once, neither could he. Ember knew he was going to take this to heart, but she hoped it didn’t completely break him.
“One week after you left, I got a surprise visit from your parents. They weren’t nice and even threatened me. I’m not exactly sure what happened afterward, but my father heard them threatening me. He promised me he’d take care of it, and I guess he had because nothing was ever heard from them again. Well, at least not that I know of. I moved out and into this apartment halfway through my pregnancy. Mom and Dad weren’t too happy about it, but I needed to do it on my own. I needed to know I was good enough since you had kicked us aside.” Ember cringed at her word usage and looked up at him.
“I didn’t kick you aside, but I understand that’s how it looked and how you felt. What was the threat my parents made on you?”
Small steps she had said, if this is the path they take tonight, then the rest can wait for another night.
“They wanted to know where you were. I told them I didn’t know they started in on me, but my father stepped up, and they said that this wasn’t the last I’d see of them,” Ember shuddered at the memory.
“Do they know about Hudson?”
Shaking her head, she turned in his lap – her back against the back of the couch – and looked at him. “No, I don’t think so. Like I said, Dad said he took care of it.”
Sage looked deeply into her eyes. Just from that look alone, her heart raced, and she could feel her whole body begin to tingle with awareness and need. This was the consuming feeling that she’d missed. The feeling she knew was because of the love that she felt for Sage, and he felt for her. Her parents had always told her that sex could feel good at any time, for a moment, but real love will make it feel out of this world. It was why she wanted to wait, but then Sage was leaving, and the rest was as they say history. Sage’s eyes bounced between her lips and eyes. Nervously, she licked her lips, and he groaned. Leaning forward, Sage lowered his lips to hers.