Surviving the Pain (A Baby Saved Me Series Book 1)

by P. J. Belden

  Grey was shocked by what that voice did to his insides. Just a voice, a sound, and his body was shaking. He closed his eyes and absorbed that feeling. A strange feeling. Taking a deep breath, he forced away the thoughts that were trying to take hold of him.

  “Yay, I’m awake,” he said sarcastically.

  “Well, I think, it’s a good thing. A good looking man like you would be greatly missed by the female population.” He heard her gasp and mumbled something under her breath. “I’m sorry that was unprofessional.” She stepped in his sight then, smiling with a slight tinge of red to her cheeks. “My name is Zea, your night shift nurse and teller of all actions.”

  “You’re a little too bubbly for me. Kind of a rotten job to have if you ask me. To babysit an adult.” He grumbled, but still couldn’t help the small smirk that played on his lips.

  “You’re right, not normally a job to write home about. But then again, it’s not every day I get to watch a man that is sex on legs closely without worrying about a restraining order.” Zea laughed, and his stomach did a funny flip tightening thing.

  Grey really looked at her for the first time since she came into the room. She had legs for miles – toned and tan, long black hair with deep blue eyes that almost twinkled with laughter. Zea’s smiled widened, and Grey’s eyes were instantly drawn to her lips. They were full, plump pale pink in color and just screamed an incredible kisser.

  Fuck, he thought as his dick started to come to life.

  “Nice to know that you think of me the same way,” she winked.

  “Wh-what are you talking about?”

  Her eyes bounced to the bedding that had a small tent in it due to his inability to keep it down. She grinned when he groaned, then leaned in and whispered, “And I know that isn’t even fully hard yet.” Zea licked the shell of his ear before backing up.

  “Uh,” Grey was shocked mute. After all, he’d been through over the last day or so, and he was getting turned on by a woman that was not Ember. Grey looked at the captivating woman before him. She wasn’t Ember, and he was attracted to her, sexually and more than that, he thought. Well, she was stuck with him for three days. He guessed it was a good time to get to know her. “Tell me about yourself.”

  “What,” she laughed. “So, not what I thought you’d say.”

  “Well, we are going to be around each other for three days. I just figured it wouldn’t hurt to get to know each other.”

  “Did ya now?” She grinned, settling in a chair across from his bed, she set a clipboard on her lap. “Well, my name is Zea Paxton. I’m twenty-two years old. Before you ask, yes, I’m a nurse. I graduated high school early and went straight to college, excelling. I have five very protective brothers, parents that are gone, but were terrific. That sums me up.”

  “My nephew is a genius too. He’s in third grade and only five years old, well he will be in a couple weeks. The greatest kid you’ll ever meet. Though he’s super smart, he sometimes struggles with his speech. It’s cute sometimes, though.”

  “Sounds like you love him very much,” Zea said almost dreamily.

  “I do. I hope to have kids of my own one day,” he admitted sadly.

  “I thought this was supposed to be a get to know each other conversation. You’ve told me about your nephew, but not you,” she said after a moment.

  “What do you want to know,” he asked as he raised his bed up to a sitting position. “After all, you have my chart. A cheat sheet to behind the man.”

  “No, I don’t get access to your chart. I only know what has prompted this hold and that I have to watch your movements marking them all on this board here. So tell me what you want me to know,” she smiled sweetly at him.

  “I’m Grey Matthews, but you already knew that,” he finally started after just staring at her for a moment. “I’m twenty-three. I am a manager at Your Store. Yes, that’s the name. Almost finished with my business degree, hoping to start my own business afterward. I have no siblings, but I have friends I consider brothers and sisters. My parents… well, I’m nothing like them we’ll just say that.”

  She smiled at Grey for a long while. It made Grey’s heart speed up. “I think we are going to become great friends, Grey. You and I are too much alike, I can tell.”

  “Oh, then I hate you already,” he teased. Her laughter washed over him and for a moment, he felt a sense of relief, lightness, in the turmoil his life has become.

  Grey wished the days hadn’t gone by so fast. Before he realized it, he was being moved to another room, no longer with the woman he cared too much about to admit. On the first night that he was transferred to his new room, Grey was shocked when he saw Zea come into his room. He looked at the clock on the wall and back at her.

  “You know it’s way past visiting hours. Aren’t you supposed to be working?”

  “Nope, I’m off today. Scoot over,” she said as she started to climb into his bed.

  “What are you doing?” Even though he asked the question, he still moved over for her.

  “It’s weird not being with you at night.” Lifting her head, she looked up at him. “Is that weird?” Shaking her head, she sat up. “This is crazy!” She started to climb from the bed, but he grabbed her hand and pulled her down to him and kissed her.

  This was the first kiss he’d had with another woman since he admitted to Ember that he loved her. That thought has him breaking away from the kiss. Her forehead dropped to his chest, and she stayed there silently for a minute.

  “I need to talk to my friend,” Grey murmured. He’d told Zea all about Ember and what had happened. So, she knew exactly what he was talking about.

  “Talk to her about what?”

  “You know what,” he said with a smirk. “You better get out of here before you get in trouble.”

  “Fine,” she grumbled, “but I’m coming back tomorrow, and you better have a decision made.”

  Before he could say another word, she was out of his room just as quickly as she’d come in. That night he’d fallen asleep with a smile on his face. It was the best night sleep he’d gotten since he realized that Ember wasn’t as invested as he was. Looking back now, he saw how hard she tried, and he loved her for that. He liked that she wanted to make him happy, but in the process, she was making herself miserable. The worst part was he had let her do it because he was happy.

  The sun was up for his fifth consecutive day in the hospital. They said he should be able to go home soon. He hoped they were right. He was going stir crazy. Grey had just sat back on his bed when there was a knock. Looking up, Grey saw Sage standing there.

  “Hey.” It was all Grey could say at the moment.

  “Hey.” He repeated. “Listen, Ember wants to talk to you. I’m going to let her do it alone. I swear to you, if you hurt her again…”

  “I won’t, Sage. Thank you, by the way. You didn’t have to save me, to worry about me, and you did. I didn’t deserve your help, but you gave it anyway. Thank you.” He forced out through a guilt clogged throat.

  The hardened look on Sage’s face softened, and he let out a deep breath. “You are my brother. I failed you. I failed Ember and my son. I’m sorry too.”

  A small smile played on his lips. “Okay send in the beast. I think I might be ready,” Grey tried to joke.

  Ember came storming into his room moments later, angry as hell. The anger practically set the whole room on fire. “Who the hell do you think you are pulling a stunt like that?” She yelled. “Do you know how worried I’ve been about you? Do you know how worried everyone has been about you? Don’t even get me started on how your nephew feels,” she roared.

  “I’m sorry Emmy. Not just for what I did, but for how I behaved. You need to know that Sage tried to come back to you several times, but I told him that you and I were together. I stopped you from being happy because I cared more about my happiness and what I thought I could give you. I was selfish, and I’m sorry.” She started to speak, but he held up his hand and shushed her. “Please
give me this moment.”

  Crossing her arms over her chest, she stomped over to the chair next to his bed and sat down. “Fine, you go, but I will have my say afterward.”

  “I know you will. See, I fell in love with you long ago, but you were so young… I just couldn’t tell you. By the time I felt you were ready to hear it, Sage had already swooped in and stole you from me. Looking back at it now, you two were meant to be. I could see the way he looked at you from the get go. Maybe that’s why I wanted you two apart. I didn’t want to be forgotten, I’m always forgotten. You two were so important to me that I didn’t want you guys to be like everyone else.” Taking a deep breath, Grey pushed forward with the part he knew he needed to say. “Ember, I don’t know what kind of love I had for you before, but I know that you are like part of my created family. I think I was tired of being alone and you were so terrific that I allowed my childhood feelings to become adult feelings even if they weren’t that way. I know that I don’t have a reason to be forgiven, not for what I did to you that night and not for keeping Sage from you, but I hope one day you can forgive me and I might have my friend back. I’m so sorry Ember. More than you will ever know.”

  Ember sat there just staring at him. He wasn’t sure what she was thinking or even if she was ever going to forgive him, but he’d said all that he needed to say. He’d been talking with a counselor since he’d woken up and with Zea. She helped him more than the counselor. He knew that she deserved to hear he was setting her free. The love he thought he had for her, wasn’t what she deserved. It wasn’t complete like it was from Sage. That’s what she deserved.

  “Who is she?” Her soft voice broke into his thoughts causing him to jump.

  “Who is who?”

  “You’re true love. I told you before that once you found her, you’d see that what you felt for me wasn’t what you thought. So, who is she?”

  To his horror, he felt his face heat and he started to fidget with the blanket. As if that wasn’t bad enough, Sage came into the room then too. His laughter hit Grey hard, and his eyes snapped up to meet Sage’s laughing blues.

  “What are you laughing about?”

  “Because either you just got caught with your hand in the cookie jar or well, that’s all I got,” he laughed more.

  “He’s found his girl, Sage. I knew she was out there. He’s found her.” Ember gushed happily as she walked into his arms.

  “The hot nurse that had to sit with you overnight,” Sage questioned then groaned as Ember elbowed him in the stomach. “I was kidding babe. There’s no one hotter than you.”

  “Grey?” Ember asked ignoring Sage’s attempt to smooth things over.

  Without saying a word, he nodded his head. The rest of the visit was asking a million and one questions about her and when he was going to introduce them. Ember was a little disappointed when he told her that he wasn’t ready to date just yet. Grey had decided he needed to just go with the flow alone for a while before he even thought about things like that with Zea. Thankfully, they left not long later and Grey felt a lot lighter having got that off his chest. He set her free and in the process set himself free. The counselor had been right. He’d grabbed on to the thought of being with someone because he had no one for years and made himself see things that weren’t as intense as they were. He loved Ember, no doubt about that. But he wasn’t in love with her anymore. He hadn’t been since they broke up. Well, shortly after it anyway. He just had a hard time going back to just him after that.

  Climbing from the bed, he made his way into the bathroom to shower. His mind was kicking around all his mistakes and created tension in his neck that he hoped the shower would help remove. Removing his clothes, he stepped under the hot spray of water. Resting both hands on the shower stall underneath the shower head, he let the water beat down on him. As the water continued to massage his tense muscles, he kept repeating to himself that he was free, and his life was his own.

  “Hey handsome,” her sexy voice hit him, jerking him from his thoughts.

  “Whoa! I’m naked here,” Grey warned as he tried to pull the curtain closed.

  “Mmmm, yes you are,” she said as she yanked the curtain back and he was shocked to find her naked and stepping into the shower with him.

  “What are you doing?” He breathed.

  “Taking what I want,” she whispered against his lips right before she kissed him deeply.

  Taking his erection in her hand, she massaged him to full hardness. All thoughts ended the minute she touched him. The only thought he had was making love to her, loving her the way she deserved. She’d told me about her previous relationship and how he’d treated her. He was going to show her exactly how it felt to be with a man that took care of his woman. Of course, that was before she raised her leg to his hip and slid herself down his length in one shot. A loud growl escaped him as he pushed her against the wall and started to thrust deeply into her.

  “Yes! We need to hurry, Grey.”

  He feasted upon her big, beautiful breasts, making sure to tease her already tightened peaks. Soon, he returned his lips to hers, swallowing their moans of pleasure. Grey was shocked when she raised her leg from his waist to his shoulder, lifting herself from the shower floor and wrapping the other leg around his waist.

  Smirking, she said, “Gymnastic all my life.”

  Growling, he knew he wasn’t lasting much longer. This woman had his balls tightening just looking at her. He was on the edge. Just as he was about to pull out, her walls clamped around his dick and pulled him over the edge.

  “Oh fuck,” they both said at the same time, tossing their heads back.

  He continued to push into her until both of their releases subsided. Quickly, she slid off him and exited the shower, getting dressed. He waited for a few moments before he exited the shower and dressed. When he walked out of the bathroom, he expected to see her sitting in the chair, but she wasn’t there.

  “Well, where the hell did she go?”

  “Where’d who go honey?” The main day nurse, Mildred, asked as she walked in with his lunch.

  “Uh,” he looked around the room again. “No one.”

  He sat down in bed, and she wheeled his lunch over in front of him. Leaving him to eat, he picked at his food. His thoughts were eating at him. He felt it. Grey felt the connection between them. Maybe he was just as wrong about her as he was about Ember.

  “If I didn’t have bad luck, I’d have no luck at all,” he grumbled as he took a bite of his tasteless lunch. He was done. He was giving up on relationships. He’d get his bedmate for a night and then just call it good. Grey decided walking into the fire was just not worth it anymore. It sucked because he thought Zea was the woman he’d been searching for his whole life. Once again, he was very wrong.

  Ember left the hospital after seeing Grey, and she felt good. Her friend had found his girl, and he was no longer hung up on her. She wasn’t ruining his life anymore. If she’d just told him then that she didn’t want anyone other than Sage, he might have avoided all this. However, had none of this happened, he might not have ever met his girl. It was kind of a harsh way to look at things, but in the same aspect, it was true. That saying that everything – good and bad – happened for a reason. It truly did.

  “You’re smiling like the Cheshire cat from Alice and Wonderland right now.”

  Beaming up at Sage, she couldn’t contain her happiness. “I have my friend back. He sees what I’ve been telling him all along. The best part being that he has a girl of his own.”

  Sage stopped when they reached her car and wrapped his arms around her waist. “I hope that I’m part of the reason for your smile.”

  Her smile dropped, and she looked at him seriously. “I know that you want so much more than my trying right now, and I really wish I could give it to you. The thing is that you hurt me badly once. I can’t risk Hudson getting hurt more by me not being cautious.”

  Ember watched as his happy face broke, just a little. “I know. Ple
ase know that I’d do nothing to hurt you guys. I never meant to hurt you before. Your safety was all I was thinking about. Rufus is not a guy that is crossed.”

  This brought back more questions that she’s wondered about since they had their talk before. Looking away for a moment, the questions swirled rapidly in her head. Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out her phone and called her dad.

  “Dad?”

  “Hey, how’s Grey doing? I hate not being able to get up there to see him yet.”

  “He’s doing much better actually. Better than I thought he’d be doing. Listen, do you mind keeping Hudson for a little while longer. Sage and I need to talk some more, and I would prefer for him not to be around. You know how he picks up everything, even when you think he can’t hear.”

  Everett laughed heartily. “Yes, we do. I remember him asking a million question about why Isa needed laid. I swear that girl owed me on that conversation with my grandson.” He laughed again.

  “Yes, I know because he came home asking me more questions. I told him he had to ask Aunt Isa about it.” She laughed. “Needless to say, he had me call her and make her come over. Isa doesn’t talk like that around him anymore.”

  “He’s a sponge – good, bad, ugly, pretty, he absorbs it all.”

  “I know. He’s getting too big,” Ember whispered sadly.

  “He really is,” her father sounded equally saddened. “Anyhow, we’ll keep him overnight. He was begging anyway. We told him that you don’t like to let him go so we’d have to ask you. He said ‘tough, she’d learn’ and we laughed about it. We’re going to take him to the water park. Do you mind? So maybe we’d keep him the weekend?”

  “Dad, I only need for a few extra…”

  “Hey,” he interrupted her. “I want to spend time with my grandson before he gets too old and doesn’t want to do anything with his old papa anymore. Let us have this time, and you take it to figure out what you and Sage are going to do. You know that Hudson is in good hands.”