His eyes widened and I suddenly felt like shit. This wasn’t his business. He was not supposed to be interested in me on that level. It wasn’t fair of me to accuse him. No more than it was fair for him to do the same to me.
“Never mind,” I said, spinning around only to find Master and Sir standing in the doorway.
Son of a bitch.
This was not good.
Dropping my gaze to the floor, I immediately apologized to them for my outburst. It was unprofessional and fueled by emotion, which seemed to be my downfall these days. However, in my defense, I was worried about Justin. I didn’t feel as though he should be alone right now. And it seemed wrong that anyone would put work above family.
Then again, that was my personal view on the subject. Not theirs.
“Pet?” Master’s voice was even, almost gentle. “Can I see you in my office?”
Shit.
I nodded, knowing I didn’t have a choice.
When I started out of the room, he turned to follow me, placing his hand on the small of my back. I was so angry I wanted to pull away from him, but I didn’t. Before we made it to his door, I changed my mind.
“Would you mind if I take a few minutes? I need to…get my emotions under control.”
He motioned toward his office. “Take all the time you need. When you’re ready to talk, just open the door.”
As I stepped into the room and closed the door, I wondered if he’d be okay with me staying in there until tomorrow. Or next week, even. This was all getting to be too much.
No, I probably shouldn’t have gone off on Ben the way I had. However, emotions were running high right now, mine especially. It didn’t seem to matter how many times I tried to convince myself that this setup was working for me, I knew it wasn’t.
Dropping onto the couch, I fell onto my side and hugged one of the pillows. I felt cold on the inside. All this time I’d thought I was doing what they wanted. First, I was shunned by Langston and I’d figured out how to reel in my emotions and to keep them to myself so I didn’t overwhelm them. Then I had learned my lesson with Landon, which had taught me to be more attentive. And then everything had gone down with Justin. Between the distance he put between us and Ben’s admission that things weren’t really working out with me the way they’d wanted…well, I was starting to feel as though it was time to move on.
I sighed. I was being overly dramatic, I knew. In my defense, I was hurting. I’d kept all my feelings bottled up for so long. I should’ve listened to Jordan. I should’ve engaged my bosses in open dialogue so at least they would know where I stood. Instead, I’d kept it inside and now I was stuck.
I hated the thought of finding a new job. Not only because the interviews sucked but also because I enjoyed what I was doing here. I was four months in and I didn’t want to start over somewhere else. On the other hand, this was more than I’d signed up for. Not the sex or the interactions. I had gone into that with my whole heart. I was referring to this emotional bullshit and the ping-ponging back and forth. That was what I couldn’t deal with anymore. I felt like a rubber band being stretched at both ends. Just when I thought I would snap, they shifted me around and started pulling in a different direction.
I hated it.
I remained like that for a while longer, focusing on breathing. It was the only thing I knew to do. I had some decisions to make, but I couldn’t do that while I was at work. They deserved my full attention for the remainder of the day. Fortunately, the tears didn’t come. I was through feeling sorry for myself. Big girls didn’t cry, right?
Getting to my feet, I straightened my skirt and my blouse, then ran my hands over my hair to smooth it. Remembering there was a bathroom, I detoured and took a look at myself in the mirror. I looked fine, maybe a little upset, but not too bad.
“Okay, girl. It’s time to suck it up. Stop all the whiny bullshit and…move on.” The pain in my chest was intense, but I ignored it. Or tried my best to, anyway.
When I stepped out of Langston’s office, the first thing I noticed was three of my four bosses were gathered around my desk talking in hushed tones.
Maybe they were going to fire me. I hoped not, because if I was leaving there, I was going to do it with my head held high.
“Before you speak with her,” Ben addressed Langston, “can I have a word with Luci?”
“Sure.” Langston and Landon walked toward me. Langston stopped in front of me. “When you’re finished, join me in my office.”
It wasn’t phrased as a question, but I nodded anyway, feeling fairly certain they were going to fire me.
Langston’s office door closed and I was left facing Ben.
“Look,” he said softly. “I shouldn’t’ve said what I did. You didn’t deserve that from me.”
I didn’t respond because I agreed with him.
He moved closer and took my hands in his. “The only thing I’ve wanted since the day I met you was for you to be happy, Luci. That’s it. No matter what path we ventured down, I’ve always wanted the best for you.”
“I know that,” I said, my voice rough with emotion.
“I’m truly sorry for what I said earlier. I’m going through a lot right now.” He looked so sincere, my chest ached. “But that’s no excuse for me to take things out on you. You’ve done nothing wrong. In fact, we’re the ones who’re responsible for this mess we’ve made. I don’t want you to think I blame you.”
“Thank you. And I’m sorry, too. I shouldn’t be taking things out on you either.”
He pulled me closer and wrapped his arms around me. I couldn’t resist leaning into him. I cared about this man. No matter what happened from that moment forward, I would always care about my four bosses.
No matter what they thought.
“I’m taking your advice,” he stated as he pulled back. “I’m hopping on a plane tonight so I can be with Justin. Even though he says he doesn’t need me, I know better. And that’s my job to know these things. As his submissive, I owe it to both of us to be there so he doesn’t have to be alone.”
“I’m glad to hear that. Is there anything you need me to do? I can book the flight or a hotel if you need.”
“I took care of it already, but thank you.”
Ben cupped my face, then leaned down and pressed his lips to mine in a chaste kiss that made all the love I had for him come to the forefront. Again, I fought the tears, not wanting him to think I was weak.
“All right then. You go deal with Langston and I’ll call you tomorrow to let you know how things are going.”
“Okay.”
I took a deep breath and turned toward Langston’s door.
Now for the hard part.
Forty-Six
AFTER RAPPING MY KNUCKLES ON Langston’s door, I waited for him to respond before I turned the knob and stepped inside. Langston was at his desk, and I was surprised to see Landon in there with him.
“You wanted to see me?” I purposely kept from referring to him by his name or by his honorific. I was through playing this game with them.
It didn’t matter that they weren’t the cause of my outburst, I knew that it all came down to them. To this thing between us. Or lack thereof.
“I do,” he responded, then motioned me toward the sofa. “Have a seat. Let’s talk.”
He got up from his desk chair and moved over to the sofa. I sat on the one across from him, while Landon moved to sit beside me, keeping a good foot between us. I could sense the tension in the room. It was so powerful it made it difficult to breathe.
“Is there something you need to talk to us about?” Langston prompted.
I sat up straight. “Not at the moment, no.”
Perhaps I was being childish, but I honestly didn’t have anything to say. Not to them and not to anyone else. I felt as though I’d been discarded and I wasn’t about to grovel at their feet. They’d already had months to figure this out. If they didn’t know me well enough by now, then that was on them.
Langs
ton’s eyebrow lifted skeptically. “Care to explain the argument you had with Ben?”
No, I really didn’t, but I couldn’t very well tell him that. They were still my employers. “It was a misunderstanding and I apologized to him for my outburst.”
“This seems to be a trend,” he noted, his eyes narrowed on me.
I shrugged, feeling unapologetic despite the fact that he was right. I was out of control and I was taking it out on everyone else.
“Is something going on that we should know about, Luci?”
I glanced between him and Landon. “I’m not sure what you mean.”
“Are you unhappy here?”
“No,” I blurted. Damn. That wasn’t it at all. “I’m very happy here.” My issues had nothing to do with work.
“I’ve noticed all the responsibilities you’ve taken on the past couple of weeks,” Landon stated. “I have to say, I’m very impressed. And pleased.”
I sighed, thankful that he wasn’t making this personal, although we all knew that it was. “Thank you. It’s been a pleasure to be able to handle more. I’m capable of doing more than answering phones and making coffee.” I waved my hand. “And I don’t mean that in a negative way.”
“Is there something going on in your personal life that you want to discuss?” Langston probed.
As though he didn’t already know. It angered me that he was pretending he hadn’t spent the night with me not too long ago. I had opened up to him then. Why was he acting like he was in the dark?
God, I hated how sterile this conversation was. It was as though I hadn’t spent the past four months getting to know them, the past three being intimate with these men. For some reason, they’d relegated me to the hired help and I wasn’t sure why that was.
Or maybe I was doing that. In an effort to put some distance between us, maybe I was the one who was putting up walls, purposely having confrontations. I didn’t like that it could be true. That wasn’t in my nature.
I shook my head and sighed. “No. There’s no issues in my personal life.” That was a bold-faced lie, but I didn’t care.
If they could sit here and act indifferent toward me, then I could return the favor. I was tired of playing these games and getting nowhere. Sure, I’d signed on for that in the beginning, but as the time had passed and I’d grown to care about these men, I felt they owed me more.
Not that they did. Just because I wanted more didn’t mean I was entitled to it.
Neither of them said anything, so I scooted closer to the edge of the cushion. “Do you mind if I go back to work now?”
Langston looked at Landon, then back at me. “Go ahead.”
My breath caught in my lungs. Admittedly, I’d been holding out hope that they would take the next step in progressing this thing between us. Unfortunately, it looked as though they weren’t going to do so. And I certainly wasn’t willing to do it.
Which told me everything I needed to know.
Putting on my secretary hat, I glanced between them both. “If you need anything…”
“Thank you, Luci,” Landon said dismissively.
And those words felt like a knife to the heart. Rarely had Landon or Langston ever referred to me by my name, yet it seemed to be a trend today. It hurt more than I expected it to, but I pretended otherwise and made it to my desk.
I noticed that Ben’s office was dark, which meant he’d left for the day. Although I felt like shit for how things had gone between us, I was glad that he’d left to be with Justin. The man shouldn’t be alone at a time like this.
As I was taking a seat at my desk, Landon and Langston came out of Langston’s office and the light went off behind them.
“We’re leaving for the day. If you need anything, let us know,” Langston said, not even looking my way before they headed down the hallway.
Once again, my anger ignited, but I held it in. Clenching my fists at my sides, I stared at the space they’d vacated.
Knowing I had to do something to keep from losing my shit, I pulled up my email and started going through them one by one. It was only four, so I still had an hour and a half. That would give me plenty of time to take care of any fires, as well as to draft the letter of resignation that I intended to email to them before I left for the day.
My chest tightened just thinking about it. I didn’t want to leave, but I felt as though I was causing more harm than good by being here. To them and to myself. Unfortunately, there was no way I could continue working here and have a platonic relationship with them. It would hurt too much.
It was a decision I didn’t want to make, and quite frankly, it was possible I was jumping the gun, but something felt really off right now. It was as though they didn’t want me here, and honestly, if that was the case, then I didn’t want to be here. I had enough self-worth to know that I’d be an asset to any company, didn’t matter what my role was.
However, relationships were an important key to a functional work life and it seemed as though I’d worn out my welcome here. Still, I needed to take care of a few things, because I certainly wasn’t going to leave them in the lurch. They would find someone to take my place, I was sure of that. Until it was time to leave for the day, I was going to do everything I could to ensure that transition was a smooth one.
Forty-Seven
BOSS MEETING
——————————————————
Landon
“SHE’S GOING TO DO SOMETHING drastic,” I told my brother as we sat in the main-floor lobby of the building we owned.
“That she is,” he confirmed, crossing one ankle over the opposite knee as he sighed heavily.
Luci had clearly been pushed to her limits. Her reactions were overly emotional and it hadn’t taken long to realize that we were to blame.
In the same regard, though, we had attempted to get her to open up to us. That was one thing the girl couldn’t seem to wrap her head around. She was not the type to communicate her feelings. And when we’d taken her into Langston’s office earlier, we had tried to pry her open, but it hadn’t worked. The girl was nothing if not stubborn.
I peered over at Langston.
Then again, I knew someone else who had that trait.
Put the two of them up against one another and the ending was much like dynamite sealed inside an airtight space. Everything would cave in; there was no other place for it to go. And since Luci refused to look at what was right in front of her face, this was getting to be too much for her.
Then again, the rest of us knew how Luci felt about us. I was well aware of the fact that she loved me and Langston in a way she didn’t love Justin and Ben. It was the very reason I’d been holding on all this time, waiting for my hardheaded brother to come around.
I could admit that we’d handled things badly. There was probably a reason this type of office arrangement didn’t take place. Had the four of us been looking for one submissive, perhaps it would’ve worked out. But there had been forces working against each other from the beginning and Luci ended up in the middle of it.
“What do you think she’ll do?” I asked.
“Quit.”
I sighed, glancing around at the people coming and going from the building. I couldn’t even think of a day in the office without Luci there. She’d become such a huge part of our world and I’d come to depend on her. Not only as my secretary but as the woman who made me whole.
Granted, I knew my brother was right. Luci was going to quit. Hence the reason we were sitting right here waiting for her.
“Do you think she’ll even read the letter?”
“Doubtful.” Langston looked at me. “She’s gotten too far inside her head.”
That was true. I’d noticed it last week when I had gone to her apartment for punishment. It took a tremendous amount of work to keep her in the moment. She had attempted to drift into subspace at every turn and I had refused to allow that to happen. Although it was my goal to pleasure Luci in ways no one else was capable of
, I damn sure wasn’t about to let her retreat from me when there was a lesson for her to learn.
Not that it mattered now.
The girl was going to run. And because of that, we were going to put ourselves directly in her path.
This time, she wasn’t going to walk away without knowing exactly how we felt about her.
I glared at my brother.
She should’ve known a long time ago. And I think Langston knew it, too. I could only hope that we could convince her. Otherwise…
I didn’t want to think about the alternative.
Forty-Eight
I WAS JUST ABOUT TO open my last email when I heard footsteps coming down the hall. I looked up to see Jordan sauntering toward me with a smile on his face. I tried to mirror it, but it didn’t work all that well.
“All alone, I see.”
“Yep. They abandoned ship and I’m holding down the anchor.”
He laughed. “I don’t think it’s necessary to hold down the anchor. Isn’t that the whole purpose of it being…an anchor?”
I giggled because he was right. “Did you need something?”
He pulled an envelope out from behind his back.
“A little birdy left this with me. Said I was to give it to you at exactly five fifteen.”
I glanced at the clock, then back to him. “Who’s it from?”
He shrugged. “Don’t know and it’s not my business.”
He placed the envelope on my desk and I stared at it. There was nothing written on the outside.
“Well, I’m about to close it down up front,” he informed me. “You want me to wait for you?”
“No, I’m good.” I offered a smile. “I’ve got a couple more things to do and I’ll make sure the doors are locked.”
“I’ll see you in the morning?” I hated that he felt the need to question me. It meant that I was far more transparent than I thought.
“Of course.”
“Okay, then. Good night, sweet cheeks.”
“Night.”
As he walked away, I continued to stare at the envelope. I debated on whether or not I should open it. Normally, I would’ve ripped it open to appease my curiosity, but I wasn’t in the mood for any more games. Not today.
Intrigued Out of the Office Page 32