“There they go,” Norah says, watching the water. Sure enough, they’ve both scrambled to their feet, riding it all the way in.
“How did you know you should take a chance with Gabe?” I ask suddenly. “Make that switch from friend to something more.”
“It was really hard,” she says, “and I fought it for a long time, even when we were dating, and no one knew it. I had one foot out at all times.” Her eyes stick on Gabe as he makes it to the shore. “But I realized he was it for me. Not just as a friend, but as my everything.” She looks over. “Why? You seeing someone? Interested?”
“No,” I say, a little too quickly. “I mean, I kind of liked this guy earlier this summer but have since realized he’s a jerk.”
“Ah, the jerks. They’re the worst.”
“Ben saved me from him,” I blurt without meaning to.
“Did he?”
I nod and glance down at the shoreline where he’s detaching his cord. “I was at this stupid party—don’t tell Mom. It was next door to where he’s living. He totally inserted himself in my drama, which at the time made me really mad.”
She laughs. “I bet.”
“I was furious, but in hindsight I guess he really kind of saved me from a big mistake.”
“So that’s how you two started hanging out, and you knew where he lived.”
“Yeah,” I say, watching him walk our way. He stops midway up the beach and drops his board, before peeling off his surf shirt. He spreads the shirt on the board to dry out and stands, giving us both a full view of his upper body.
“Um,” Norah says, her voice confused, “when did Ben get so…not Ben-like?”
“What do you mean?” I totally know what she means.
“Built. Ripped.” She sits up and pulls off her sunglasses. “Are those abs?”
I nod, eyes glued to the way they ladder up his body. “Yeah, I think so.”
“Huh.” She slides back on her glasses and gives me a second look. I drop my eyes and study the sand. “I guess things change when you’re gone long enough.”
Gabe walks up, dripping wet. He holds a hand out to his fiancée. “Come get in the water with me.”
She lets him pull her up, and they walk hand in hand down to the water. Ben watches them go and walks up, dripping cold water on my stomach and legs.
“Hey!” I shout, giving him a dirty look. “The water’s cold.”
“Want me to warm you up?”
He drops Norah’s towel to the sand, bumping into me along the way. A shiver runs down my spine. It’s not from the cold water.
“As much as I want to kiss you right now,” he says, nodding toward his friends in the water, “I’m just happy to not be the third wheel for once.”
“You’re not the third wheel.”
He stares out, watching his friends, before leaning over and giving me a quick kiss.
“Ben!” I hiss.
He smiles and grabs my hand, dragging me up. “Come on, I’m going to teach you to surf.”
“What?” I say. “No. I tried that when I was six. Total disaster.”
His fingers linger on mine. “I can’t sit here all afternoon looking at you in that bathing suit and not touch or kiss or be near you.”
I can’t help but smile.
“So you want to teach me to surf so you’ll keep your hands to yourself?”
He drags me down to his board and tucks it under his arm. “Surfing lessons are an excuse for me to touch you, babe, otherwise I’m not going to make it through the day, and your sister will find out the truth about us the hard way.”
26
Olivia
“Before we leave, does anyone have anything to share about their week?” Maya asks. “Progress? Setbacks? Challenges?”
Layla shifts in her seat next to mine. “My mom talked me into joining a book club for teens at the library. The first meeting is next week.”
Maya smiles. “That’s great! I know you’ve been wanting to do some more socializing. I think that sounds like a great fit.” She looks around the circle. Avi shrugs and Spencer picks at his shorts, like he’d rather be anywhere else.
My pulse quickens but I make the decision to speak up. “I kind of had a breakdown the other day with my mom, but after we all calmed down we talked it over. I think we maybe made some progress.”
Maya nods. “That’s good to hear, Olivia. I know being open with your parents has been a struggle. I’m glad to hear you’re working on communicating with them.”
“Anyone else?” she looks at the two boys. I’ve been avoiding Spencer since he bailed on me for the concert. Even now, I don’t really look at him. I’m surprised when I hear him speak up and say, “I realize I’ve been a jerk lately. Well, I’ve been a jerk for a long time. My dad always says I try to take the easy way out, without considering other people’s feelings. Just taking what I want, any way I want. I do it with my friends, lacrosse, school.” I glance over and see his legs are still sprawled forward and his arms are crossed defensively over his chest. “But recently it’s just not working for me.”
“How so?” Maya asks. She’s probably about to burst with excitement that he’s actually speaking.
His eyes slide to mine, then look away. “I wanted something this summer and I thought I could get it how I normally do. It didn’t work.”
“So you’re reconsidering your methods.”
He nods. “Yep.”
Spencer doesn’t say anything else. Layla next to me is sitting slack-jawed. It’s probably the most she’s heard him speak since group started. It’s definitely the most honest I’ve ever heard him.
“Thank you for sharing, Spence.” Maya closes her notebook. “If that’s all, we’ll wrap up for the day. Don’t forget that the girls' home is having a bake sale at the Farmer’s Market this week. Go by, if you have a chance.”
I grab my phone from the bucket on the way out.
“Bye, Olivia,” Layla says, getting into her mom’s waiting car. Avi hops on his skateboard and zips down the road. My stomach clenches when I pass Spencer on the front walkway.
“Olivia,” he says, calling my name.
I keep walking to my bike and barely glance up.
He rakes his hand through his hair. His skin is a dark tan from lifeguarding, and his hair is streaked with highlights. “I wanted to see how things were going? I haven’t seen you guys down at the beach much lately.”
I focus on my bike lock. “We’ve been working on the bake sale. My co-volunteer, Melina, is pretty intense about preparation and spreadsheets.”
“Ugh, sounds like school.”
“I guess, for her, it sort of is.”
“Well, listen, I’m going away to lacrosse camp next week, and I’m having a party this weekend.” He leans against the bike rack. “I wanted to see if you’d like to come?”
“Seriously? After that little speech in there, you’re asking me to a party?” I roll my eyes. “You totally lied to me about the concert. I saw the pictures of you there with that other girl.”
He shifts on his feet. “I know. It was a jerk move.”
I stare at him, arms crossed.
“What?”
“You still haven’t apologized.”
Recognition flickers in his eyes. “Oh, uh. Right. I am sorry about that. I was hanging out with Sabrina that day, and when I told her I had to go, she just,” he clenches the car keys in his hand, “she talked me into taking her. It was dumb.”
“It was rude,” I say, pulling my bike off the rack, “but in the long run it was fine. Ben and I had a really great time that night. In fact, it’s when we kind of got serious, so I have you to thank for that.”
“So you’re saying I had a chance and blew it?”
I shrug, not wanting to encourage him.
“Look, come to the party. Bring Ben. He’s invited, too. I really am trying to work through some of this.”
I’m not really sure what Spencer’s up to, but I know he has struggled. All o
f us in the group have. Going to the party with Ben may look like a sign of support, and I’m willing to do that. I’ll have to see if Ben agrees.
I tighten my grip on the handlebars and say, “Let me talk to him about it, but yeah, that sounds fun.”
He smiles. “Great. I’ll text you the address.”
I hop on my bike and head through town, the summer sun falling into the Pacific. Things have come a long way in the last few weeks. New friends, a new boyfriend, a resolution with Spencer. I pedal down the street. Even things with my family seem to have calmed down. I don’t want to give my mom too much credit, but her insistence that I spend time out of the house may have paid off.
I see the cars in my driveway before I even get home. Ben and Gabe are both here. I park my bike and walk into the kitchen. There’s a note on the refrigerator.
Dinner in fridge. Went out with the Fosters and Rowlands. Take your meds! You forgot today.
I pull the note off the door, toss it in the trash, and get my dinner out of the refrigerator. I’ve just popped it in the microwave when I sense someone behind me.
“Finally. Third wheel status was getting really old in there,” Ben says, planting a quick kiss on my cheek.
“Sorry,” I say. “I got held up after group. Well, actually, Spencer held me up.”
A line creases his forehead. “Spencer? What did that guy want?”
“Well,” I say as the buzzer dings, and I open the microwave door. The plate of pasta with chicken and cream sauce steams. “He had some kind of breakthrough in group. Then he came out and apologized to me, sort of. Then he asked us to go to a party at his house.” I hold up my fork. “Did you eat?”
“Your mom fed us before she left.”
I shake my head. “Such a mooch.”
He leans against the counter as I take a bite of pasta. “So what’s the deal with this party?”
I chew and swallow. “He just said he’s going to lacrosse camp and is having a party before he leaves. He invited both of us. I think it’s his way of making amends.”
“Do you want to go?”
I shrug. “Maybe.”
“Hurry up!” Norah calls from the other room. “The movie’s starting.”
“What movie?” I ask.
“What movie do you think?” he says with a laugh.
From the other room I hear music start to play.
“Is that Dirty Dancing?” There’s always a seventy-five percent chance Norah’s going to watch Dirty Dancing. Or Goonies. Or one of her other favorite '80s movies. “Why can’t she watch something like Nightmare on Elm Street?”
He reaches up and swipes his thumb across my lip. A thrill runs through me. “You missed a little sauce.”
“You just wanted an excuse to touch me.”
His eyes darken. “Always.”
I take my plate and carry it toward the living room. In a quiet voice I say, “Behave.”
“No promises.”
But when we enter the living room, the lights are off and Norah and Gabe are cuddled together on one end of the sectional.
“Hey, Liv,” Gabe says.
“Hey guys, thanks for waiting for me.”
Ben sits in the middle and I take the corner, pulling the blanket off the back of the couch. My dad complains of being hot all the time and keeps the AC turned low. While I huddle in the corner, making sure there’s plenty of space between us, Ben is a notorious man-spreader—it’s an ongoing joke—and he slinks back into the cushion.
“Did he try to make you give him your dinner?” Norah asks me. I shake my head. “Good. He tried to go in there three times and get it out of the refrigerator.”
I look at Ben and he just rubs his flat, hard stomach. “Your mom is an awesome cook.”
It’s hard, but I don’t react, focusing on the screen. Baby and her family have just gotten to the Poconos and are spending three weeks at the lake. Johnny Castle is swiveling his hips. I want to hate this movie because there’s no murders or gore, but something about their star-crossed love story and secret romance has always been a favorite. Even Gabe will happily watch it.
Ben?
I can’t imagine Ben is into any of this and honestly, I’m shocked he stuck around. I feel his eyes on me more than the screen and as the movie unfolds, I find myself hyper-aware of his every movement, his proximity, and general presence.
Norah is fully into the movie, signing every song. She spent a full summer in Baby-inspired cut-offs and listening to '60s music while Gabe walked around in a Ravenclaw robe. I’m crammed in my little corner and my knees start to ache. I shift around, hanging my blanket-covered legs over the side of the couch, straightening them out.
Ben’s hand moves slowly, reaching for my ankle. He pulls my leg up on the couch, stretched out toward him. His eyes are forward, on the movie, but I look at my sister, who hasn’t noticed a thing.
I place my other leg on the couch and my toes press against Ben’s thigh. Sparks shoot up my leg at the proximity—at the absolute danger of being so close to him, while still being a safe distance apart. His hand is still on my ankle, thumb rubbing small circles into my skin. Goosebumps shiver up my arms and along my neck. I pull up the blanket for warmth, although really, I’m anything but cold.
As the movie progresses and Baby falls for Johnny and Johnny pushes back against Baby and it all seems like it’s lost, I turn and press my cheek against the pillow, engrossed in the movie I’ve seen a million times. Not to mention Ben’s gentle touch.
I feel like I could live in this little cocoon forever, which is why I think I dozed off. I wake to the feeling of something heavy against my legs and the sound of whispering.
“Would it be a big deal if something was going on between them?” Gabe says. “And I mean if, because right now it looks like two exhausted people passing out on the couch. They’ve both been working a lot this summer.” He laughs quietly. “I remember that happening to us a few times.”
“And look where we ended up?” Her voice sounds strained.
“Happy? In love? Getting married?”
“We were different, Gabe. We didn’t have a lot of baggage or a lack of focus.”
Their voices get farther away. “What if they’re good for one another?”
I can’t hear Norah’s response, and I sense they’ve left the room. I open my eyes and see the TV is off. My legs are fully across Ben’s lap and his arm is pressing down on me—on top of the blanket. His head is against the couch and he’s asleep.
Busted.
I sit up and shake his shoulder.
“Hey. Wake up.”
He shifts and blinks, forehead creased in a frown. “Did I fall asleep?”
“Yep.” I glance down at our proximity. “Like this.”
He rubs his face and groans. “Sorry. I just passed out.”
“Yeah, me too.”
He looks over to where Norah and Gabe had been sitting. “Where are they?”
“Talking about us in the kitchen.”
He reaches out for me and cups my neck. “I’m sorry. I’ll go try to fix it.”
I touch his hand with mine. “You don’t have to.”
“Are you ready to tell them?”
“No. Yes.” I grimace, more at my bubbling anxiety over making a decision than anything else. “I don’t know.”
He takes my hand and kisses my fingertips. “I’ll smooth it over.”
“Thank you.”
He stands, straightening his wrinkled shirt. “Hey, listen, I know you’re busy prepping for the bake sale tomorrow, but I have a big delivery to make Thursday afternoon. I need to drive down to Smyrna, so I probably won’t get back until later. Want to come with me?”
A few hours alone with Ben? Yes.
“Let me talk to my mom.”
He tucks his hands into his pockets, like he’s making sure he doesn’t come close to me again, but the way he looks at me makes me feel like he’s touching me anyway. “Night.”
“Night,”
I reply.
My heart aches as he walks away, already wanting to see him again. I don’t know what the long-game is for me and Ben, but every day is more exciting and every goodbye is harder.
27
Ben
It’s obvious what Norah and Gabe are talking about when I walk out of the house. I prepare myself for the onslaught of questions from Norah. She’s never been one to beat around the bush, but she kisses Gabe on the cheek, tells him she’ll see him tomorrow, and says, “Night,” to me before heading back in the house.
Huh.
“You need a ride?” I ask Gabe, pulling my keys out of my pocket. He’s got an apartment closer to town.
“Yeah, that would be cool, thanks.” He follows me to the truck. We’re both inside and I’m adjusting the radio and temperature when he asks, “So what’s going on with you and Liv?”
I shoot him a look. “Really?”
“Come on, you know you’d rather me ask than her.”
There’s truth to that. “We’ve just been hanging out, that’s all.”
“You’re pretty comfortable together,” he says, as I take the turn out of the neighborhood.”
The light ahead turns red and I slow. I have an uneasy feeling in my chest—like the knowledge that someone may try to stop me from seeing Olivia or stop us from seeing one another. I feel protective. Afraid. I look at my oldest friend. “I don’t know what’s going on with her. Not exactly. We get along and have a good time with each other. Is there anything wrong with that?”
“No,” he says, but there’s more. I can feel it. “Olivia is pretty vulnerable and making friends doesn’t come easy to her. I’m sure having you around has been pretty comforting.”
The light turns green but there’s no one behind me. I grip the steering wheel and look at Gabe. “What are you trying to say?”
“Be careful with her. She acts tough, but she went through a lot.”
“I know,” I say, not wanting to reveal everything she’s told me. She said all of that in confidence. I hold his eye. “I know.”
Olivia and the Older Boy: Young Adult Sweet Romance (Love in Ocean Grove Book 5) Page 11